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Carrying on with Fairy in Boots's excellent shout with Phoenix Nights - @Any O'Brien @Storts I'm getting the word, 'Nonce' @Fairy In Boots

Sad K - should read Sead Kolaniac who is ready to leave in June/July having been messed about - neither a winger nor a back as far as the coach is concerned. In the temperatures of Rio the young German Olympics Captain lasted a full game and scored the only goal when others were wilting. OInly the Schalke coach refuses to play him for 90 minutes - not even Lowe does that as often for the National side. And when Leon started the season he was an attacking mid-fielder - what's his position now? As long as there is space for Choupo and Nastasic and the other 'old men' look out Timo you're next. Please supply answers on a small piece of white paper and send to whoever at Gelsenkirchen wants to listen! Benny has always been 04 since a kid, but he must wonder what is going on! Who does he play with alongside him next game? How on earth can the defence be solid when it is different for almost every match? Sorry, I am now moving home and will be without the internet until 18 April - time enough for non-believers to smile and watch whilst we all suffer - me , in silence. A defeat today against a poor Wolfsburg side will just about sort out the rest of the season and a fight against the rest for third bottom!

That was the universe reaching down in its divine glory to dangle the carrot painstakingly in front of you, only to snatch it away and laugh. The world is a horrible place. And hope is a blind bitch with sharp claws.