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He's Tony Pulis with money.

Hang on, you're going on holiday?! How come you haven't told us yet? Enjoy it, will be class over there. Definitely want to go at some point.

It's because of the way they set up in big games. Mourinho is too conservative, and I don't blame him... he's had a good track record with his style. But when all the other big teams are playing football that's good to watch, it's less easy to justify. Honestly I think his side is too imperfect compared to his Chelsea and Inter to be able to defend like that and stay fucking deadly on the counter. He's also got players at his disposal that are better suited for less rigid approaches. And when they're playing us and not testing our wonky defense, sure we might not be able to score... but they're also not exploiting our weaknesses. I hope to fuck his collapse at Chelsea and the rise of sides playing entertaining football is an indication that Pullis' and Porto Pulis' style have been sussed out.

Is he the same one whose ashes ended up inside you?

Parma will be in the playoffs. But instead of them going straight to playoffs, they will match up all the promotion play off teams and play 1 round against another randomly drawn team, and then weed it down until you have 4 left, which play for the right to go to Serie B.