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Here is some fun

Mine:

Alianza Atletico de Sullana

Sporting Cristal

Boca Juniors

Portland Timbers

Godoy Cruz

FBC Melgar

Johor DT

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I am a one club man, playing only for Liverpool and LA Galaxy.

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1 hour ago, Spike said:

I am a one club man, playing only for Liverpool and LA Galaxy.

Vaguely threatening to sign for 2 other clubs as a way to increase your wage along the way. 

I develop at Sydney FC a wonderful gifted midfielder, immediately recognised as too good for this piece of shit tin pot league as I outscore such top A league talents as Jay Bothroyd, Shane Warne and the ghost of Gary Speed, in spite of being a central midfielder, and set new A league records, by never kicking anyone and actually knowing how to pass.

 

At 21 I get a big European move into the German 2nd division at Werder Bremen (RIP) to the disgust of the Australian sports media, who's deluded minds genuinely believe I should be at Bayern Munich or Real Madrid. I secure promotion back into the Bundesilga, and provide the fans with greater success than they've had in decades, by not flirting with relegation and staying fit.

At 24 I move to Everton. Having found my level as a good midtable dude. Once again outrcy from Australia that I moved to Everton for 20 mil instead of Manchester City for $200 0000 00000. To focus on my club career I refuse to play for Australia outside of the Asian cup and world cup final qualifying group and tournament. I am an immediate pariah amongst my own nation, but Everton seem to love the fact that I make record numbers of fouls in spite of the fact I have no defensive responsibilities and score headers by grabbing larger men and pulling them down. All is well.

At 27 vast sums of cash are waved at me and I move sideways to another English club who can't win anything worth winning. Arsenal. I rub shoulders with great midfielders of the past such as Alex Song, Granit Xhaka, Yossi Benayoun and Mathiew Flamini. I cement myself amongst their legendary number by starting 20 games of the season for 2 goals and 5 assists. An average Fifa match rating of  6.8

At 30 I move back to Everton. An easily impressed lot. I cement legendary status by chipping in here with goals. I get yellowcarded on a stretcher as I injure myself fouling Vincent Kompany and I set new records for fouls from a player in my position .  literally get red carded for starting a fight in my last ever match. But I'm not a dirty player. Ask any Everton fan

I later move back to the A league to piss on peasants, and finally play 3-6 games for roughly 80000 Arabic clubs. Providing nothing of note. However I still play for the national team during this time. Yes, the well is that dry. 


I retire aged 40 to share punditry and cocaine with the most clueless person on the face of the planet. Mark Bosnich. 

My tale is a cautionary one told to children, to convince them to play a tinpot game like NRL instead. 

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Start off at Carlisle Utd, quickly show that I am the second coming in football and quickly earn a move Mid season to Sheffield Wednesday where I continue to tear up the pitch. After completing a full season with Wednesday, I end the year as top scorer in the championship. 
 

I turn down several offers from the likes of Burnley & Watford, and instead join Leeds Utd (who are desperately in need of a striker) and I end up getting promoted with them first time of asking. Successfully finish mid table in our first season back in the PL, earning plaudits along the way and finishing 3rd in the season scoring charts. Follow that up with a season where Leeds qualify for the Europa and I am the top scorer in the league. Offers flood in, but there’s only one team I’m going to; Liverpool FC. 
 

In the three years I am with them, I win the premier league 3 times, the champions league twice and the FA cup. Also win the golden boot in all 3 seasons, and I am nominated for the Ballon D’or twice, winning in my final year after scoring 60 goals in one season across all competitions. 👀

After 3 years with my dream club, I decide to go back to Leeds to cement my legend status with them. Keep them up in our first season, then in the second we go on a shit hot run and end up qualifying for the champions league. I ofcourse end up being the leagues top scorer again and up there in the champions league tally as well. Unfortunately we cannot over come Barcelona in the final, but I get man of the match and leave the club with love from the whole city. 
 

After than, I decide to go to Portland Timbers. They are in desperate need of goals and I am welcomed as the messiah. I live in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and keep banging the goals in even at the age of 33, becoming the leagues top scorer and MVP. In the second season we win the MLS cup and supporters shield. 
 

My contract was only for two years and I decide to come back to the Uk, to where it all began at Carlisle. I sign a final one year deal with them. I am not 35 but I’m still giving the league the runaround, I end the season as top scorer AGAIN, and Carlisle end up winning League 2. 

I retire to a small cottage deep in the Lake District where I spend the rest of my days hiking and painting. And living with my wife, Margot Robbie. 

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I'll elaborate myself too. I was a bit lazy with my career description.

Alianza Atletico de Sullana

This is kind of a random one. I really think they have an underrated history in the country though. Based in the north of Peru, they are quite a big club in the area they are based in and I think they could be an interesting one to start in.

Sporting Cristal

Back in my home city of Lima, I move to the 3rd biggest team in the country and the one with the most recent success. Both financially and on the pitch. They have a history of selling players abroad and figured this would be a good way to take a leap to a bigger side. 

Boca Juniors

In the same footsteps as Nobby Solano, I take a jump from Cristal to Boca Juniors. This is where I'd spend my prime years, winning titles with my boyhood club. Hoping to become the next Juan Roman Riquelme, my childhood hero. 

Portland Timbers

After a couple years of being a Boca legend, I would get offers from European clubs but refused in order to take a traditional South American route in my career. The likes of Tevez and Farfan never wanted to play in Europe, but they do it for one thing: money. And while Boca can pay well, I needed more but without playing in Europe. I got a dream offer and that was from Portland Timbers as a designated player. I take it without a second though, saying goodbye and thank you to Boca Juniors.

Godoy Cruz

My final year at Portland was lackluster, so I take a big step down to Godoy Cruz for one last bite at the sandwich, but eventually realize that my career is nearing the end. So I coast my second stint in Argentina and become hated in Mendoza.

FBC Melgar

This team is perhaps the 4th biggest side in Peru and perhaps the richest in the 21st century. Well run and they take a punt on me. I accept. I do a little bit better here than what I did at Godoy Cruz, but still not the Brian of old. However, it was enough for fans to like me.

Johor DT

Finally, I move to Malaysia to retire. Another random one, but as some on here would know I've always wanted to try the expat game some day. Malaysia has always been high on my list and in the context, Johor DT do buy a lot of South Americans. So this could be a cool retirement home.

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