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Have You Ever Been Chased By A Cow?


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54 minutes ago, Azeem said:

Not been chased but sometimes they give the ' Don't fuck with me ' look

That's a constant look from to be fair! 

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Just now, Stan said:

What did you do? Try to nick its fan? 

My grandma used to have a farm. One time they had newborn calves, and me with my cousins wanted to see them, so we went to the fields over the electric fences hoping to come across them, just to be chased away by some pissed off cow 😂 never ran faster and jumped higher in my life 😂

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Nearly had my nose bitten by a horse once, I heard that red Indians would get the trust of a horse by breathing on their noses close up, the horse could tell if you were nervous or not.

So I tried that with a horse, went close up and breathed out, the bloody horses ears went back and snapped at my nose, I moved back quickly otherwise it would have bitten my nose off. 🐴  O.o

 

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A cock(chicken) chased me once. They are vicious fuckas :ph34r:.

I also remember jumping over a big fence one day as a teenager, looked around and a massive bull with huge horns was stood there looking at me. Safe to say, I didn't realise how quickly I could actually climb back over a fence until that day.

In saying that, I used to walk through bull fields to a fishing pond I used to go on and not really care. They just give you a funny look, but can never be arsed moving.

 

19 minutes ago, CaaC (John) said:

Nearly had my nose bitten by a horse once, I heard that red Indians would get the trust of a horse by breathing on their noses close up, the horse could tell if you were nervous or not.

So I tried that with a horse, went close up and breathed out, the bloody horses ears went back and snapped at my nose, I moved back quickly otherwise it would have bitten my nose off. 🐴  O.o

 

I'm very wary around horses, I hate them.

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Yea, Once... I was out with the my son when he was very young and we decided to cut across the field to get to another footpath rather than going the long way round and the cows were over the far side of it but as soon as we reached half way this cow started watching us then made a run towards us... I scooped my son up and pegged it as fast as I could to the fence with him under my arm.. 

Not funny at the time but looking back it does amuse me.. 

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33 minutes ago, Carnivore Chris said:

A cock(chicken) chased me once. They are vicious fuckas :ph34r:.

Back in the day when I was at boarding school we used to go round the local village and knock doors trying to make some extra cash by washing cars and doing gardens etc.. well one farm type house we got to had this big yard and when we knocked on the the door all these Geese appeared out of no where and chased us both off the property.... bet the owner was looking out the window pissing himself the whole time.. I wouldn't do that again, they are a lot quicker than they look

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1 hour ago, Bluewolf said:

Back in the day when I was at boarding school we used to go round the local village and knock doors trying to make some extra cash by washing cars and doing gardens etc.. well one farm type house we got to had this big yard and when we knocked on the the door all these Geese appeared out of no where and chased us both off the property.... bet the owner was looking out the window pissing himself the whole time.. I wouldn't do that again, they are a lot quicker than they look

Turkeys are even worse! Proper dicks, haha. 

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The funniest thing I have ever seen in my time was when I was a wee nipper and my old man had a live chicken he wanted to cook-off for Sunday dinner, he took it in the back garden to kill it and the chicken escaped from his hands and legged it around the garden and then onto a playing field with my old man chasing it with a chopper in his hands, he never caught it and came back in the garden calling the chicken all the bloody names under the sun.

Chicken 1-0 My Old Man. :farmer:

When I think of it my old man was lucky this did not happen today if you see anybody running around nowadays with a chopper or whatnot in their hands the old bill will be called and you would get your bloody head blown off.

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3 hours ago, CaaC (John) said:

Nearly had my nose bitten by a horse once, I heard that red Indians would get the trust of a horse by breathing on their noses close up, the horse could tell if you were nervous or not.

So I tried that with a horse, went close up and breathed out, the bloody horses ears went back and snapped at my nose, I moved back quickly otherwise it would have bitten my nose off. 🐴  O.o

 

 

2 hours ago, Carnivore Chris said:

A cock(chicken) chased me once. They are vicious fuckas :ph34r:.

I also remember jumping over a big fence one day as a teenager, looked around and a massive bull with huge horns was stood there looking at me. Safe to say, I didn't realise how quickly I could actually climb back over a fence until that day.

In saying that, I used to walk through bull fields to a fishing pond I used to go on and not really care. They just give you a funny look, but can never be arsed moving.

 

I'm very wary around horses, I hate them.

The embarrassing thing to me was we were on holiday in the Isle of Bute at the time and our son & daughter were wee nippers and I had taken them for a walk and we saw some horses in a field and I said to them "I will show you how Indians in the old wild west days talked to horses..." I grabbed some grass, the horses walked to the fence ready to take the grass and I went to do the latter, when the horse nearly took my nose off I said to my kids "Don't you ever try that...", cough, cough. :whistling:

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A mate of mine had a clay pigeon shooting club and every second week on a Sunday he would organise a shoot all on a farmers field, I always tagged along for a shoot or act as a 'Puller' operating the traps for the clay pigeons.

There was always a big black bull in the fields away from the traps with a load of cows around but they never bothered us as they were used to the noise of the shot-guns and traps going off, after the shoot, we would feed the bull and cows with any bread rolls with the leftovers from the tuck wagon he had there for grub.  

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Yes, as mentioned earlier.

I'm trying to think if any other animal chased me though. One time a Llama threatened to spit at me. Came aggresively towards me but then stood still. That was a close call for sure.

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7 hours ago, Bluewolf said:

Have you ever been chased by a woman?? 

 

7 hours ago, Azeem said:

Hmm do mothers count ?

Mate, @Azeem is scared when girls text him 'Hi'. It doesn't even get to the 'chased' stage!

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4 minutes ago, Azeem said:

You may never know, what if it's like ' Hi ( i want your kidney ) 

Then you'd have reason to give that one a miss xD 

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2 hours ago, Mpache said:

Yes, as mentioned earlier.

I'm trying to think if any other animal chased me though. One time a Llama threatened to spit at me. Came aggresively towards me but then stood still. That was a close call for sure.

Mate that is the most Peruvian  thing ever 🤣

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I got chased by a dog once doing my paper round when I was little. Fell over and cut my knee running away. My dad got chased by a cockerel  once but  the dog is the only animal that has chased me I think

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