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Have You Ever Been Chased By A Cow?


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Just now, Gunnersauraus said:

I got chased by a dog once doing my paper round when I was little. Fell over and cut my knee running away. My dad got chased by a cockerel  once but  the dog is the only animal that has chased me I think

I'd be surprised if there's anybody here who hasn't been chased by a dog mate xD

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Just now, Mpache said:

I'd be surprised if there's anybody here who hasn't been chased by a dog mate xD

I wanted to feel part of the conversation  

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4 minutes ago, Mpache said:

I'd be surprised if there's anybody here who hasn't been chased by a dog mate xD

From what I have heard there are lot  more stray dogs in a lot of countries. Seeing one in the UK is very rare.

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When the wife and I were dating, she decided it was a good idea to attempt to hug a goose.

One of those fuckers hissed so loud that the National Guard was called in, and he flew in like a jet and did as much 'fucking up' as a goose can do to a person.

Still one of the funniest thing I've ever seen. (she wasn't hurt as all, just stunned and disappointed).

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16 hours ago, nudge said:

Turkeys are even worse! Proper dicks, haha. 

Cocks are cunts aswell as they have huge claws and an attitude. They can also grow bigger than you expect.

I'd say type "biggest cock in the world" into Google images, although you may not come up with the search results you were looking for..

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7 hours ago, Eco said:

When the wife and I were dating, she decided it was a good idea to attempt to hug a goose.

One of those fuckers hissed so loud that the National Guard was called in, and he flew in like a jet and did as much 'fucking up' as a goose can do to a person.

Still one of the funniest thing I've ever seen. (she wasn't hurt as all, just stunned and disappointed).

Are you disappointed she wasn't hurt :ph34r:

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22 minutes ago, Toinho said:

I haven’t been chased by any animals, I don’t think. Been swooped by magpies (different to yours in the UK, but yours may swoop too - not sure). But that’s about it. 

The ones here are fannies. They won't go anywhere near humans. They are intelligent little bastards though. I remember last year when we left the brew room door slightly open, it went in there, into my bag and stole my chicken sandwiches, the little bastard. Also pecked all my mates eggs xD

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Carnivore Chris said:

Cocks are cunts aswell as they have huge claws and an attitude. They can also grow bigger than you expect.

I'd say type "biggest cock in the world" into Google images, although you may not come up with the search results you were looking for..

Too many euphemisms here 😂

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4 minutes ago, Carnivore Chris said:

The ones here are fannies. They won't go anywhere near humans. They are intelligent little bastards though. I remember last year when we left the brew room door slightly open, it went in there, into my bag and stole my chicken sandwiches, the little bastard. Also pecked all my mates eggs xD

Yeah it's the seagulls that swoop like cunts here.

 

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49 minutes ago, Toinho said:

I mean, everything is trying to kill us.

I hated these fuckers in Aussie land BULL ANTS  :eek:

 

Mgulosa.jpg

Went camping in the bush years ago with my old man, brother and brother-in-law, as it was getting dark they laid the groundsheet down and pitched a tent, as I was ready to crawl into the tent I noticed the groundsheet moving and jumping up and down, I called my old man and brother-in-law to show them then they realised they had pitched the tent on a bull ants nest.

We ended sleeping in the car for the night until it was morning to pack the tent up and make sure we could see the fuckers as they would attack you and if you see a bull ants hole and jump up down on the ground the fuckers would come streaming out to attack whatever was making the noise.

 

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4 hours ago, Carnivore Chris said:

The ones here are fannies. They won't go anywhere near humans. They are intelligent little bastards though. I remember last year when we left the brew room door slightly open, it went in there, into my bag and stole my chicken sandwiches, the little bastard. Also pecked all my mates eggs xD

 

 

 

 

3 hours ago, Stan said:

Yeah it's the seagulls that swoop like cunts here.

 

To follow on from this xD

 

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No cows on this watch. I've only ever pissed off a Swan.

I was taking a couple photos of the boating lake in a park and this one Swan obviously wasn't very photogenic, hissed at me. The others were fine with it but not this one.

Never even knew Swans hissed, let alone see this thing get all mardy and flappy just for taking a pic. Totally unreasonable.

Anyway, I got the photo I wanted so the Swan can get to fuck.

Happy enough being a greedy twat taking breadcrumbs off people left, right and centre yet you want one pic and he turns into an arsehole.

With a bit of luck, hopefully someone chucked an actual loaf of bread at his head to teach him being a dick.

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By the way, geese are all talk. Just hiss at them and let them know who is boss. 

Swans are worse, they fucked me up the other year when I accidentally got my line tangled around a cygnet while fishing and its parents smashed fuck out of me with their wings while I was untangling it. The cygnet was unharmed in the end, but I wasn't. 

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2 minutes ago, Carnivore Chris said:

Swans are worse, they fucked me up the other year when I accidentally got my line tangled around a cygnet while fishing and its parents smashed fuck out of me with their wings while I was untangling it. The cygnet was unharmed in the end, but I wasn't. 

Well deserved, to be honest :P We once saved a baby swan who was tangled in a fishing line some cunts left at the lake, it was caught around both feet/wing and couldn't swim, was panicking and barely breathing, it was heartbreaking. Two of us had to hold the mum while the others were cutting the line and getting the little fella free. 

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7 hours ago, Toinho said:

I haven’t been chased by any animals, I don’t think. Been swooped by magpies (different to yours in the UK, but yours may swoop too - not sure). But that’s about it. 

I had to change my route walking home from school several times because of those blighters

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