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I don't really open up a lot but I need help, any advice at all. I'm distraught

On Monday I'm scheduled to fly into Australia and do a 14 day hotel quarantine. My plan was to see my grandmother for xmas but she passed away today. She passed away just two weeks shy of me finally seeing her. Two weeks and I could have said goodbye, but I can't and I never will now. I have to fly into the country and be alone for two straight weeks in a hotel I don't want to be in. I will miss my family, my wife, the funeral, everything. There are no exemptions. What do I do? Should I cancel and reschedule for another time? Should I wait and hope for the borders reopening? My wife is looking at tickets but at such short notice how can she get the bureaucracy and tickets?

please anything will help

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Very sorry for your loss @Spike :(

Don't envy you in that position at all. 

Is the quarantine mandatory? What are your plans after the 14 days are up? Would you still be seeing family etc?

Given its Christmas time, maybe it's best to ride the 2 weeks out and be with your family to support them at a difficult time, and likewise they can be with you. 

What's your gut feeling? Cancel or stay 2 weeks? 

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So sorry to hear about your grandma's passing, @Spike:/ 

As Stan said, maybe it's better to do the two weeks and afer that being able to spend Christmas with your family. But in the end it's all up to you. If you think those two weeks alone in a hotel might be too difficult, you should rather stay with the wife until you feel better and maybe processed your grandma's passing a little better. If that makes sense at all. 

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9 hours ago, Spike said:

I don't really open up a lot but I need help, any advice at all. I'm distraught

On Monday I'm scheduled to fly into Australia and do a 14 day hotel quarantine. My plan was to see my grandmother for xmas but she passed away today. She passed away just two weeks shy of me finally seeing her. Two weeks and I could have said goodbye, but I can't and I never will now. I have to fly into the country and be alone for two straight weeks in a hotel I don't want to be in. I will miss my family, my wife, the funeral, everything. There are no exemptions. What do I do? Should I cancel and reschedule for another time? Should I wait and hope for the borders reopening? My wife is looking at tickets but at such short notice how can she get the bureaucracy and tickets?

please anything will help

Sorry to hear of your grandma's death and horrible situation you're in.

Your predicament is exactly what I rage about - the continued shut out from overseas and the ridiculous 14 day quarantine, and the human impact of it 

What state are you flying into? Last I heard Victoria and NSW no longer required 14 days for fully vaccinated travelers. Is there a way you could fly in there and then transfer to your destination bypassing the quarantine? 

Anyway, based on your situation, if it were me, no chance I still go to Australia, and do a 14 day quarantine in solitary confinement. I just think that's a recipe for self destruction and I probably wouldn't even do it if my grandma was still alive. See if you can change your flight, go there with your partner, and hopefully if it's a couple more months into the future Australia won't be making you quarantine. 

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This is horrific, and I'm truly sorry for your loss, @Spike

Two-weeks alone with your grief in a solitary confinement with no distractions and no family or friends to support you is going to be absolutely brutal. I would seriously reconsider and reschedule the flight, unless meeting the rest of your family in Australia after those two weeks would be something you also really, really look forward to.  The upcoming festive season will be absolutely brutal and depressing too, so whatever you decide, take good care of yourself and make sure you have someone to share your grief with.

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7 hours ago, Spike said:

I don't really open up a lot but I need help, any advice at all. I'm distraught

On Monday I'm scheduled to fly into Australia and do a 14 day hotel quarantine. My plan was to see my grandmother for xmas but she passed away today. She passed away just two weeks shy of me finally seeing her. Two weeks and I could have said goodbye, but I can't and I never will now. I have to fly into the country and be alone for two straight weeks in a hotel I don't want to be in. I will miss my family, my wife, the funeral, everything. There are no exemptions. What do I do? Should I cancel and reschedule for another time? Should I wait and hope for the borders reopening? My wife is looking at tickets but at such short notice how can she get the bureaucracy and tickets?

please anything will help

I personally would not go.

I'm assuming she has friends or family there that will take care of the funeral.

Might be an idea to write a letter for someone to read out at the church or reception and in that you can explain because of COV-ID restrictions you could not be there.

Also send some flowers for the funeral and offer to contribute to the funeral costs, if this is something you can afford to do.

A horrible dilemma and good luck with whichever action you decide to take.

 

 

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18 minutes ago, nudge said:

I would seriously reconsider and reschedule the flight,

Sorry for your loss buddy but I think what nudge said, above and a few others would be the best solution, I am an old man now and like the wife, a lot of our loved ones passed away years ago and the wife's last aunt passed away over a month ago so we know what you are going through.

We could not make the funeral held in Wales as the travelling involved and my health condition made it impossible but as me and the wife have been together 47 years today we both, and have always been close together and rarely apart in situations like this.

All I can think of and the wife thinks the same is that your grandma would want you to be strong and carry on with life for her sake, yours and your family atm that are still here on mother earth.

As I have said to our son and daughter and now our grandsons many a time that if me or the wife passed away which will happen one day is to be strong as life goes on, your gran and others are looking down on you and thinking the same.

Be strong @Spike

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Sorry to hear this mate. Only advice we could all possibly give would be our own thoughts/feelings. Personally I’d be waiting till I could actually do something than be holed up on my own with nobody for two weeks, especially with the grief you’ll be undoubtedly feeling. 
 

I lost my mum last year, I know how shit the grieving process is. Drop me a DM or FB on messenger if you’ve still got me and need a chat X

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Sorry to hear this @Spike

My cousin passed away when I was in New Zealand, obviously my situation was a bit different as I was just travelling for the year but I ended up staying in NZ rather than going back for the funeral.

If you feel comfortable knowing your family has enough family to look after each other for the short term then I’d probably say stay in the States for now with your wife.

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That’s fucking awful mate, I’m really sorry to hear that.

I don’t really have advice, but I guess I can say why I’d do in your shoes and give my reasoning why. Obviously you might think different to me cos we’re different people.

But I probably wouldn’t go back to stay holed up in mandatory quarantine for 2 weeks probably stewing in despair.

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Thanks, everyone. Right now I’m 45 staying and 55 going. I was always going to quarantine but grief does change everything. I have not seen friends or family for quite some time so that is my main impetus for  going. I am very stressed right now and I feel no matter what I’m making the wrong decision. 

 

The two weeks will pass regardless of my choice, maybe I shoukd just go?

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40 minutes ago, Spike said:

Thanks, everyone. Right now I’m 45 staying and 55 going. I was always going to quarantine but grief does change everything. I have not seen friends or family for quite some time so that is my main impetus for  going. I am very stressed right now and I feel no matter what I’m making the wrong decision. 

 

The two weeks will pass regardless of my choice, maybe I shoukd just go?

It's really difficult to answer that because I'm not in your head. If you think those two weeks go by quickly because you are so looking forward to seeing your friends and family, then go for it if that's your motivation. 

But as said before, two weeks in confinement more or less can be hard. Especially if you are griefing, and got all this time on your own alone with your thoughts. That's why I thought it might be better to grief with your wife and where you are now instead of being all alone for two weeks. 

It's all up to you in the end, no one can make that choice for you. In any regard, be safe!

 

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Horrible news. Very sorry to hear of your loss. 

I don't know your relationship with your family and with those who were closest to your grandmother, but if your presence will bring relief and comfort to others then go. Whilst in quarantine hold in your mind those that you are going for. When out of quarantine grieve together. 

If this does not resonate with you then ignore it.

Good luck in your decision.

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On 04/12/2021 at 09:19, Spike said:

I don't really open up a lot but I need help, any advice at all. I'm distraught

On Monday I'm scheduled to fly into Australia and do a 14 day hotel quarantine. My plan was to see my grandmother for xmas but she passed away today. She passed away just two weeks shy of me finally seeing her. Two weeks and I could have said goodbye, but I can't and I never will now. I have to fly into the country and be alone for two straight weeks in a hotel I don't want to be in. I will miss my family, my wife, the funeral, everything. There are no exemptions. What do I do? Should I cancel and reschedule for another time? Should I wait and hope for the borders reopening? My wife is looking at tickets but at such short notice how can she get the bureaucracy and tickets?

please anything will help

Sorry to hear about your loss Spike. I hope you're doing better now and for what its worth I'd go home. Yes you have the discomfort of being in quarantine for 2 weeks but I think its a good idea to be around family now and especially your family back home who will be going through the grieving process as well. I know you've mentioned a few times on here about how you feel like you've been away from family and miss them so I'd take this as a sign that going home and spending time with them is a good idea.

If you need to talk feel free to DM and once again I am sorry for your loss and hope you and your family feel better soon.

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After weeks of stressing and planning and then finally grieving, I decided to go home BUT THEY FUCKED ME. I didn't even notice they changed my layover in Fiji TO OVER TWO FUCKING DAYS, I DON'T HAVE TWO FUCKING DAYS TO SPEND IN FIJI AND FOURTEEN IN QUARANTINE, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

I went through a whole world of anxiety and stress to be fucked by something I (as well as my wife) didn't even notice they changed two weeks ago. WE GOT THESE TICKETS MONTHS AGO, we didnt' buy a ticket to arrive on the 10th, we bought it for the 8th

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2 minutes ago, Spike said:

After weeks of stressing and planning and then finally grieving, I decided to go home BUT THEY FUCKED ME. I didn't even notice they changed my layover in Fiji TO OVER TWO FUCKING DAYS, I DON'T HAVE TWO FUCKING DAYS TO SPEND IN FIJI AND FOURTEEN IN QUARANTINE, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

I went through a whole world of anxiety and stress to be fucked by something I (as well as my wife) didn't even notice they changed two weeks ago. WE GOT THESE TICKETS MONTHS AGO, we didnt' buy a ticket to arrive on the 10th, we bought it for the 8th

I would try calling the airline, explaining your circumstances, and asking if they can do anything to maybe put you on a different flight/connection so that you can make it on time... Air travel is very chaotic at the moment, but it might be worth a try...

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5 minutes ago, nudge said:

I would try calling the airline, explaining your circumstances, and asking if they can do anything to maybe put you on a different flight/connection so that you can make it on time... Air travel is very chaotic at the moment, but it might be worth a try...

my wife is investigating but I'm a mess right now I can't do anything

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23 hours ago, Spike said:

Thanks, everyone. Right now I’m 45 staying and 55 going. I was always going to quarantine but grief does change everything. I have not seen friends or family for quite some time so that is my main impetus for  going. I am very stressed right now and I feel no matter what I’m making the wrong decision. 

 

The two weeks will pass regardless of my choice, maybe I shoukd just go?

Currently Vic and NSW dont require 14 day hotel quarantine for (fully vaccinated) internationals. Only 72 hour home quarantine. This is because VIC and NSW have 1000+ cases a day but Queensland have zero so there are different risk appetites.

Currently those from Vic and NSW (and international) cannot travel to Queensland without 14 day quarantine.

On December 17 QLD will open up to NSW and Vic requiring no quarantine, just a negative test on entry. (because they will reach a threshold of 80%vaxxed by that date, and so be more protected),

For this reason it makes a lot more sense for me to visit Qld from Vic after Dec 17 rather than before.

I think there's a chance that on Dec 17 or within a few weeks of that qld would adopt the same position as Vic & NSW for internationals, reducing quarantine from 14 days hotel to 3 days home.

What do you think about going in January? I reckon there's a fair chance delaying by a few weeks might give you 14 days back that you can spend with your family.

 

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2 hours ago, Harry said:

Currently Vic and NSW dont require 14 day hotel quarantine for (fully vaccinated) internationals. Only 72 hour home quarantine. This is because VIC and NSW have 1000+ cases a day but Queensland have zero so there are different risk appetites.

Currently those from Vic and NSW (and international) cannot travel to Queensland without 14 day quarantine.

On December 17 QLD will open up to NSW and Vic requiring no quarantine, just a negative test on entry. (because they will reach a threshold of 80%vaxxed by that date, and so be more protected),

For this reason it makes a lot more sense for me to visit Qld from Vic after Dec 17 rather than before.

I think there's a chance that on Dec 17 or within a few weeks of that qld would adopt the same position as Vic & NSW for internationals, reducing quarantine from 14 days hotel to 3 days home.

What do you think about going in January? I reckon there's a fair chance delaying by a few weeks might give you 14 days back that you can spend with your family.

 

If you’ve been out of the country in the last two weeks you have to quarantine for 14 days in QLD regardless of entry point. 

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3 hours ago, Harry said:

The two weeks will pass regardless of my choice, maybe I shoukd just go?

Just be calm buddy and make your own choice or have a good natter with your wife, 2 heads together as she is part of you in marriage and life and work out which is the best option. 

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3 hours ago, Spike said:

If you’ve been out of the country in the last two weeks you have to quarantine for 14 days in QLD regardless of entry point. 

At the moment, but if Queensland adopt the NSW rule for internationals in January would that be better?

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On 04/12/2021 at 03:49, Spike said:

I don't really open up a lot but I need help, any advice at all. I'm distraught

On Monday I'm scheduled to fly into Australia and do a 14 day hotel quarantine. My plan was to see my grandmother for xmas but she passed away today. She passed away just two weeks shy of me finally seeing her. Two weeks and I could have said goodbye, but I can't and I never will now. I have to fly into the country and be alone for two straight weeks in a hotel I don't want to be in. I will miss my family, my wife, the funeral, everything. There are no exemptions. What do I do? Should I cancel and reschedule for another time? Should I wait and hope for the borders reopening? My wife is looking at tickets but at such short notice how can she get the bureaucracy and tickets?

please anything will help

 

15 hours ago, Spike said:

After weeks of stressing and planning and then finally grieving, I decided to go home BUT THEY FUCKED ME. I didn't even notice they changed my layover in Fiji TO OVER TWO FUCKING DAYS, I DON'T HAVE TWO FUCKING DAYS TO SPEND IN FIJI AND FOURTEEN IN QUARANTINE, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

I went through a whole world of anxiety and stress to be fucked by something I (as well as my wife) didn't even notice they changed two weeks ago. WE GOT THESE TICKETS MONTHS AGO, we didnt' buy a ticket to arrive on the 10th, we bought it for the 8th

So sorry to hear about what's happened Spike.. With your loss and all these restrictions it must be heartbreakingly tough to see any light at the end of the tunnel at the moment... I would suggest you try Nudge's idea and see if there is anything the airline could do because you have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you can find a sympathetic ear somewhere... I appreciate that it does not change what's happened but all these delays and frustrations are just making a sad situation worse for you.. 

Hope you find a way to overcome them and get some peace of mind mate... 

 

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