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TF365's Deep Dark Secrets


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  • The title was changed to TF365's Deep Dark Secrets

I went through a bout of depression in my uni days, specifically the final year. After the first couple of years I think I got bored and just wanted to get out in the working world and earn money, but couldn't drop out and just became very isolated and introverted. Lost all desire to learn or get the degree I'd signed up for. Felt a huge wave of guilt for family who had helped me get to that point. I didn't start my dissertation until the final term - the months leading up to it I just put it off constantly, lost all will and motivation, to do anything. It got to the point where the deadline was creeping up. Somehow found some energy within me to totally blag it. Made up a shit load of research, stats, analysis, whatever I could to build up some kind of dossier of information that would pass as acceptable. Submitted it on time, along with coursework that had the mildest of effort put in. 

With the benefit of hindsight, I still have that guilt running through me, but on the other hand, I was so utterly relieved that uni finished and I could just start work. Started working full-time, permanent at the place I had been at in the summers in between each uni year. Got confidence back and started to get life back on track.

I still feel shame as to how uni ended. It's meant to be 'the best days' but for me, it's overhyped and overrated. Personal opinion, of course. I didn't get the value out of it I thought I would. 

 

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2 hours ago, Stan said:

I went through a bout of depression in my uni days, specifically the final year. After the first couple of years I think I got bored and just wanted to get out in the working world and earn money, but couldn't drop out and just became very isolated and introverted. Lost all desire to learn or get the degree I'd signed up for. Felt a huge wave of guilt for family who had helped me get to that point. I didn't start my dissertation until the final term - the months leading up to it I just put it off constantly, lost all will and motivation, to do anything. It got to the point where the deadline was creeping up. Somehow found some energy within me to totally blag it. Made up a shit load of research, stats, analysis, whatever I could to build up some kind of dossier of information that would pass as acceptable. Submitted it on time, along with coursework that had the mildest of effort put in. 

With the benefit of hindsight, I still have that guilt running through me, but on the other hand, I was so utterly relieved that uni finished and I could just start work. Started working full-time, permanent at the place I had been at in the summers in between each uni year. Got confidence back and started to get life back on track.

I still feel shame as to how uni ended. It's meant to be 'the best days' but for me, it's overhyped and overrated. Personal opinion, of course. I didn't get the value out of it I thought I would. 

 

Uni is viewed too much as an end goal rather than a learning experience at times, really it's just about getting something out of it that will help you later on in life (which isn't just your final grade) rather than a peak moment in life that will never be topped.

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18 minutes ago, DeadLinesman said:

Wanking off one teacher to climax whilst another wants in on the action. You lucky devil.

Honestly my jaw dropped when I read this post on the unread content page and then I read the bit in bold and it all made sense.

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I ate some of my grandfathers ashes (as is well known here).

I lied about sleeping with a girl I know to a friend of mine years ago. I honestly couldn't say why, I'm an enormously open and honest person. I think it's because I was 21 and going through a dry spell, and because I was seeing her a lot my friends were asking expectantly and I just went with it. I am still friends with her, and friends with the couple of friends I told. I have been trapped in that lie, though it almost never comes up obviously, for like 7-8 years now. 

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4 hours ago, Beelzebub said:

I was seduced by a teacher in 9th grade. She wanted me to touch her inappropriately but I stalled it long enough for another teacher to come. Didn't told anybody cause I didn't want to create a situation. 

She was hot tbh. 

tumblr_niwt0k5EmL1rlo1q2o1_1280.jpg

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When I was 18 I had a thing going with one of my best mates sister, she'd text me or ring me late after nights out and come round and stay till about 5am and then sneak out before anyone on the estate could clock her.

It went on over a year with both accepting it wasn't ever gonna be anything serious.

Worst thing was my mate used to get annoyed and would often ask her where she stayed and what she'd been up to in front of me. She'd put me in awful positions on purpose, I kinda think she wanted him to know.

He'd of gone mad if he'd knew she was having loads of casual sex with me 🤣

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20 hours ago, Beelzebub said:

I was seduced by a teacher in 9th grade. She wanted me to touch her inappropriately but I stalled it long enough for another teacher to come. Didn't told anybody cause I didn't want to create a situation. 

She was hot tbh. 

You should’ve gone to the police. Wtf man 

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1 hour ago, Panflute said:

There is a girl who is for some reason madly in love with me but she is married and the tension this situation brings with it is slowly consuming my life.

Does she live nearby?

 

Kind of have a similar situation, but the girl in that case isn't married, but much younger than me. 

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Something I’ve never told anyone? Hmm.

Slept with a married woman once. Did not feel good about it at all. Still eats at my conscious many years later.

 

edit: she ended to getting a divorce if that helps 

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1 hour ago, Toinho said:

How much younger? Do you think it’s fine? 

She was 16 or 17 when she first started "stalking" me. She was in a pub where I had a darts match, and she found me on Instagram weeks later, which was quite impressive to be fair. She must be 19-20 now, and still follows me around occasionally. xD But yea, she's harmless, but very young. 

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1 hour ago, Tommy said:

She was 16 or 17 when she first started "stalking" me. She was in a pub where I had a darts match, and she found me on Instagram weeks later, which was quite impressive to be fair. She must be 19-20 now, and still follows me around occasionally. xD But yea, she's harmless, but very young. 

Can’t recall how old you are but seems okay ;) 

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On 21/09/2022 at 11:47, Beelzebub said:

Did you died? 

Obviously not.... 

On 21/09/2022 at 11:47, nudge said:

Twice!

So I hope this was a bit of lighthearted response to his question... I also know someone who used to self harm and went out with a girl who tried to commit suicide, both deeply troubled at the time but thankfully both are doing well and in a much better place now.. 

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10 minutes ago, Bluewolf said:

Obviously not.... 

So I hope this was a bit of lighthearted response to his question... I also know someone who used to self harm and went out with a girl who tried to commit suicide, both deeply troubled at the time but thankfully both are doing well and in a much better place now.. 

I’ve lost a friend to suicide. There’s been some shocking posts in here.

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1 minute ago, Toinho said:

I’ve lost a friend to suicide. There’s been some shocking posts in here.

I came close to losing a then girlfriend but thankfully they got to her in time and she was ok in the end.. Not nice to witness or go through for anybody, Can't imagine what it must be like for someone to be so low or think so little of themselves to want to find that kind of way out.. 

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