Devil 1,179 Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 Pretty simple question really what do you consider and acceptable age gap in a relationship without it being considered weird? I will kick it off my wife's cousin was 45 years of age when he left his wife, he ended up getting with a 21 year old from the local cafe where he got his bacon sandwich from in the mornings. I thought it was weird, my missus his own cousin thought it was a bit perverted as she was younger than his daughter. Yet I was around a few of his mates in the pub who made out like he was living the dream. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber nudge+ 15,325 Posted May 13, 2023 Subscriber Share Posted May 13, 2023 As long as it's two consenting adults and no abuse is involved, I don't care. The way I see it, it's not really about the age, it's about the stage of life both of you are in. I've been with someone 17 years older than me and also with someone 10 years younger than me, I couldn't care less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC 1,501 Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 Am 44 and have standards for these things. No women under the age of 85. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,358 Posted May 13, 2023 Subscriber Share Posted May 13, 2023 The wife's 3 months older than me, does that count? Seriously though I don't think age in a relationship is a problem and as nudge said as long as there is no abuse attached. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber nudge+ 15,325 Posted May 13, 2023 Subscriber Share Posted May 13, 2023 9 minutes ago, MUFC said: Am 44 and have standards for these things. No women under the age of 85. You ageist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC 1,501 Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 3 minutes ago, nudge said: You ageist. Just doing my bit for the elderly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devil 1,179 Posted May 13, 2023 Author Share Posted May 13, 2023 15 minutes ago, nudge said: As long as it's two consenting adults and no abuse is involved, I don't care. The way I see it, it's not really about the age, it's about the stage of life both of you are in. I've been with someone 17 years older than me and also with someone 10 years younger than me, I couldn't care less. To be fair you're a very intelligent person with a huge range of interests. The 21 year old I'm talking about was a bit of a airhead. She didn't seem to have much personality. She left him in the end because he didn't want to go out drinking at a weekend anymore and she realised she was missing out on going out with her friends. My auntie was with a guy about 12 years younger than her for a while, Scottish lad, I hated him and took pleasure in making sure he knew it on the sly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber nudge+ 15,325 Posted May 13, 2023 Subscriber Share Posted May 13, 2023 46 minutes ago, Devil said: To be fair you're a very intelligent person with a huge range of interests. The 21 year old I'm talking about was a bit of a airhead. She didn't seem to have much personality. She left him in the end because he didn't want to go out drinking at a weekend anymore and she realised she was missing out on going out with her friends. My auntie was with a guy about 12 years younger than her for a while, Scottish lad, I hated him and took pleasure in making sure he knew it on the sly Yeah, I mean there will always be individual differences and circumstances, my point was though that I don't consider any age gap "weird" as such, as long as both are consenting adults and are not abusing, manipulating, and taking advantage of the other one to simply get what they want. I might be suspicious of motivations in certain cases, especially where there's a huge power imbalance in the relationship due to the difference in financial and social standing in addition to the extreme age gap, but even in those cases, who am I to judge? It's not my relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devil 1,179 Posted May 13, 2023 Author Share Posted May 13, 2023 2 minutes ago, nudge said: Yeah, I mean there will always be individual differences and circumstances, my point was though that I don't consider any age gap "weird" as such, as long as both are consenting adults and are not abusing, manipulating, and taking advantage of the other one to simply get what they want. I might be suspicious of motivations in certain cases, especially where there's a huge power imbalance in the relationship due to the difference in financial and social standing in addition to the extreme age gap, but even in those cases, who am I to judge? It's not my relationship. You've just hit the nail on the head on why disliked my Aunties younger boyfriend. He didn't seem to have anything going for him other than being younger and good-looking, whilst she owned her house and had money from a divorce. Personally for me, I would need someone around my age range if I ever split up. I wouldn't want to get to 60 and have a partner in her early 40's. I'd feel like I was holding her back. On the other hand I wouldn't want to be with someone and watch them decline whilst I felt i still had life in me. Then there is also personal interests, they are likely to enjoy different things to me as they are at a different stage of their life. Having said all that, you are right, it's the person's personal choice and as long as its a healthy relationship I suppose you are right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber nudge+ 15,325 Posted May 13, 2023 Subscriber Share Posted May 13, 2023 1 minute ago, Devil said: You've just hit the nail on the head on why disliked my Aunties younger boyfriend. He didn't seem to have anything going for him other than being younger and good-looking, whilst she owned her house and had money from a divorce. Personally for me, I would need someone around my age range if I ever split up. I wouldn't want to get to 60 and have a partner in her early 40's. I'd feel like I was holding her back. On the other hand I wouldn't want to be with someone and watch them decline whilst I felt i still had life in me. Then there is also personal interests, they are likely to enjoy different things to me as they are at a different stage of their life. Having said all that, you are right, it's the person's personal choice and as long as its a healthy relationship I suppose you are right. I think in general a relationship is more likely to work out when it's two people of a similar age, simply because they are in a similar stage of life and mind. That said, if two people meet and it clicks, they are attracted to each other, have similar interests and matching personalities, then the age difference doesn't and shouldn't matter at all... Society likes to make up some arbitrary rules about everything, I personally like to see people break them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeKhrush 296 Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 I think 5-10 years, beyond that it starts to get awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 5,102 Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 As long as it consenting, it doesn't matter.Who is anyone to judge? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho 2,210 Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 I have seen some that I think are borderline dodgy such as a 17/18 year old dating someone in their mid to late 20s…. Other than that whatever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devil 1,179 Posted May 14, 2023 Author Share Posted May 14, 2023 8 hours ago, Toinho said: I have seen some that I think are borderline dodgy such as a 17/18 year old dating someone in their mid to late 20s…. Other than that whatever That's an interesting one actually, I knew girls who were 16/17 who were dating men in their mid to late 20's. It wasn't uncommon to be fair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Tommy 12,611 Posted May 14, 2023 Moderator Share Posted May 14, 2023 To each their own. I do think sometimes it's a little creepy when you see a woman with a man who could be her father, and it may comes down to daddy issues or mother issues if genders are reversed. But generally, as long as it's two consenting adults and nobody gets hurt. But sometimes you wonder what the end goal is, if you see a young person with a partner who surely needs to be taken care of in 10-15 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber Viva la FCB+ 2,553 Posted May 15, 2023 Subscriber Share Posted May 15, 2023 My best friend started dating his girlfriend when she was 17 and he would have been about 24/25 at the time. It was the first girl that he had dated that I actually really liked and thats probably becausethey are literally like the same person. Fast forward I was best man at their wedding and they just had a baby girl about 4 months ago. Oddly enough his sister also starting dating a guy when she was 16 that was around the same age gap.. she never told their parents until she was in her 20's but they've been together over 10 years at this point and are engaged. Age really doesnt matter as you all are saying it really is just about the dynamics and personalities at play more then anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny 2,204 Posted May 15, 2023 Share Posted May 15, 2023 On 13/05/2023 at 19:09, Devil said: Pretty simple question really what do you consider and acceptable age gap in a relationship without it being considered weird? I will kick it off my wife's cousin was 45 years of age when he left his wife, he ended up getting with a 21 year old from the local cafe where he got his bacon sandwich from in the mornings. I thought it was weird, my missus his own cousin thought it was a bit perverted as she was younger than his daughter. Yet I was around a few of his mates in the pub who made out like he was living the dream. Imagine being their wives and finding out the dream is 20 years younger than them Fucking hell what a horrible existence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho 2,210 Posted May 15, 2023 Share Posted May 15, 2023 I’ve slept with someone 25 years older than me. Some experience that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cicero 5,267 Posted May 15, 2023 Share Posted May 15, 2023 19 minutes ago, Toinho said: I’ve slept with someone 25 years older than me. Some experience that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Tommy 12,611 Posted May 15, 2023 Moderator Share Posted May 15, 2023 21 minutes ago, Toinho said: I’ve slept with someone 25 years older than me. Some experience that. Well, in Germany we got a saying: "You learn to ride on old horses." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick 2,271 Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 14 hours ago, Toinho said: I’ve slept with someone 25 years older than me. Some experience that. My biggest gap was 15 years older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael 1,116 Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 I think @nudge is spot on with this. I really don't think that there is an issue with age gaps that are perceived as big in a relationship. The main thing is that both parties are consenting and happy in the relationship. The biggest age gap relationship I had was 14 years and nobody really batted an eyelid when we were together, because the age difference didn't really show. But even in very big age gaps like a 40 years plus gap, as long as both adult parties are consenting to be with each other and there's no manipulation involved, then who are we to judge them or get in the way of what they want? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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