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How would you feel in this situation?

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Just wondered how some of you guys would feel in this situation. Basically I rent of my auntie at the moment. Been here a few years on my own and it has always felt like my place. But for the last few months my other auntie has been ill and been in hospital. So my auntie who owns my house(who  lives 90 miles away)  has been coming down a lot lately  and staying  so she can see her and so it hasn't felt like my place any more. Don't have my own privacy  so I am moving out soon. Now the place is a house and she is basically renting it to me for the price of a room so much less than it is worth. Part of the thing is though is it use to be my nans and she is very emotionally attached to it. ( My nan died a few years ago) I have complained a lot about her being here but never to her. She is very sensitive and not the kind of person I could just say to her I need space I'm not happy with her being there so much. Some people have said I am being ungrateful because she is renting it so cheap but I feel that I am only feeling the way a normal thirty something would feel in he same situation. I have never been ungrateful to her in person just complained a lot to other people more just so I can rant. 

What do you think am I being ungrateful or just feeling how anyone my age would feel?

 

 

Edited by Gunnersauraus

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She is family, so I don't see the issue of her staying with you. Mate, you are renting off your aunt for cheap, either take the negative that goes with it or pay extra for another place. 

It isn't your place at all, you're just renting.

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Watch this space, in six months you'll want that extra spending cash you'd have saved by renting from her. I'd stay there save more money, then buy a house eventually. Renting is stupid.

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Agree with Spike.

You can't have it all your own way and you're getting a good deal as it is by having it so cheap. 

Think about it from her view as well - you have 2 auntie's. One of them is ill and her sister is staying so it's easier to visit and see her. Can't see much wrong with that if she has nowhere else to go and that it's easier for her to be with her ill sister. I don't blame her for being emotionally attached to a house that she may have grown up in (?) and something which is used as a connection to your nan. 

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On top of everything you never really have pure, unrestricted, joy of home till you own. Moving is stressful, expensive, and time consuming. You could have shite neighbours, shitty landlords, expensive down payments, etc.

Not only that but you're saving your aunt a little hassle as well, she has a place to stay with family, she doesn't have to rent it out to strangers, nor does she have to deal with them. I know it may not be 'fun' but the smart man has house parties at other places.

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Only option is probably to speed up the process and kill off the other aunt - then she'll have no need to come stay. 

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Just now, Gunnersauraus said:

I get what people are saying. But would you live with you auntie in your 30s? 

At what point does age matter? If you're embarrassed to tell a bird that, she probably isn't the type of person to be worth dating. Besides, you should be saving as much money as possible to own a house, in the future you could even purchase that house, especially if your other aunt passes away and your healthy aunt has no more reason to visit. 

My wife and I will be living with her mother temporarily till we settle in and find a place to purchase. Why? Because we are saving money instead of losing it into a blackhole that is rent. With the money we're saving we are going on a trip to Australia.

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6 minutes ago, Gunnersauraus said:

I get what people are saying. But would you live with you auntie in your 30s? 

that's not the point though. Sounds a bit selfish from you, to be honest. It's not permanently living with her, is it? 

Presume she's only staying til her aunt gets better? Or the worse case scenario is that your other aunt passes away and then the aunt with you goes back home 90 miles away. Which would you prefer?

The other option is you find your own place which is more expensive and leave your aunt alone when she might need her family the most for support while her sister is in hospital :/

I agree with @Spike, again. You living there saves your aunt a lot of trouble and hassle instead of having dodgy tenants who might give her more stress than she has right now. 

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We don't know how long she will be in hospital. It's already beem 3 months. Also I find her very difficult. She is very different from me. She isn't someone I would personally ever choose to live with. Also I won't save as much money as you may think. She is renting the place cheap because it is a house. I would be moving somewhere smaller. The thread is more about how you would feel not whether I am making the right decision. The situation is making me very unhappy that is why I am moving.

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Is she blood related? If not you should try and shag her 

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2 minutes ago, Gunnersauraus said:

We don't know how long she will be in hospital. It's already beem 3 months. Also I find her very difficult. She is very different from me. She isn't someone I would personally ever choose to live with. Also I won't save as much money as you may think. She is renting the place cheap because it is a house. I would be moving somewhere smaller. The thread is more about how you would feel not whether I am making the right decision. The situation is making me very unhappy that is why I am moving.

she's renting it because it's family, surely? You don't rent cheap because it's a house.

And we're saying how we would feel by putting ourselves in your situation xD. Empathising. 

The ultimate decision is yours (which you've made by choosing to move, fair enough) and you asked if we think you're ungrateful or feeling like any other 30-something would. I personally think you're being ungrateful. 

 

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What I mean is she is renting it at a much lower price than it would cost to rent a house. Compared to the price of renting a room there is not so much difference so I won't save as much as some people may think.

I appropriate people's opinions that's why I asked. But I personally think a lot of people would struggle living with a relative they found very difficult

Also one thing i didn't mention is my aunties house (the one that is in hospital) has no one in it. So there is potentially somewhere else she could stay

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23 minutes ago, Gunnersauraus said:

What I mean is she is renting it at a much lower price than it would cost to rent a house. Compared to the price of renting a room there is not so much difference so I won't save as much as some people may think.

I appropriate people's opinions that's why I asked. But I personally think a lot of people would struggle living with a relative they found very difficult

Also one thing i didn't mention is my aunties house (the one that is in hospital) has no one in it. So there is potentially somewhere else she could stay

Tell her it'd be a good idea for her to stay at the other house to take care of it and it'd give her a little breathing room without you hanging about. She can prepare the house for when or if the other auntie gets out of hospital.

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17 minutes ago, Spike said:

Tell her it'd be a good idea for her to stay at the other house to take care of it and it'd give her a little breathing room without you hanging about. She can prepare the house for when or if the other auntie gets out of hospital.

The problem is she is very sensitive. That would upset her. That's a lot of the problem it's hard to discuss these things with her.

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20 minutes ago, Gunnersauraus said:

The problem is she is very sensitive. That would upset her. That's a lot of the problem it's hard to discuss these things with her.

Not if you suggest it in a manner that makes her look helpful.

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I understand you, i wouldn't live with someone i don't get along with if i had the chance to move somewhere else. While it was nice of her to rent you the house for cheap, invading your personal space without asking for your permission is not. And i doubt she told you she may stay there sometimes when you made the agreement, otherwise knowing you from what you have written i know you wouldn't have accepted.

It's like for example when you make a deal that's beneficial to you with someone but then after the deal was made they tell you they want more money or something. Like no mate, that's not what we agreed, you shook my hand and gave me your word and never even hinted this was a possibility so fuck off.

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You need to try and consider all the things that are going on right now in this situation and broaden your thinking to take in the bigger picture here.. 

It would be fair to say that you have had a fairly comfortable situation for yourself going on for a while with a whole house to yourself for next to bugger all rent and that's something most people would kill for, and when I say that I don't suggest you take up Storts advice and try knobbling family members after all this is not Mafia Wars.. 

Seriously though I can see why you may see this as an invasion of the privacy and solitude you have had for a while now but it wont last forever. When someone is passed a good deed I would recommend that you return it in kind even if there is a period of discomfort for you in the meantime. In the grand scheme of things you are doing very well to have what most are struggling for these days so try and be grateful for what you do have.

What you need to try and find out is what could happen long term and I suggest you suck it up and start thinking long term. If moving out is your only option then so be it but don't be thinking about this while being irritated because you can hear her shuffling about the place at night as it might cloud your thinking.

Remember the reason why she is there in the first place and try and be a bit more sympathetic to the situation or would you feel better if she was forced to travel 90 miles a time just so you are able to wear the same socks for a week and leave a sink full of dishes without being moaned at... 

Edited by Bluewolf

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3 hours ago, Bluewolf said:

You need to try and consider all the things that are going on right now in this situation and broaden your thinking to take in the bigger picture here.. 

It would be fair to say that you have had a fairly comfortable situation for yourself going on for a while with a whole house to yourself for next to bugger all rent and that's something most people would kill for

That was like reading a horoscope. Which star sign is it for :ph34r:

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1 hour ago, HoneyNUFC said:

That was like reading a horoscope. Which star sign is it for :ph34r:

Capricorn... 

Positive Qualities : Faithful, Ambitious, Self-controlled, Determined, Responsible, Sincere

If you believe in all that of course... 

 

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20 hours ago, Gunnersauraus said:

Just wondered how some of you guys would feel in this situation. Basically I rent of my auntie at the moment. Been here a few years on my own and it has always felt like my place. But for the last few months my other auntie has been ill and been in hospital. So my auntie who owns my house(who  lives 90 miles away)  has been coming down a lot lately  and staying  so she can see her and so it hasn't felt like my place any more. Don't have my own privacy  so I am moving out soon. Now the place is a house and she is basically renting it to me for the price of a room so much less than it is worth. Part of the thing is though is it use to be my nans and she is very emotionally attached to it. ( My nan died a few years ago) I have complained a lot about her being here but never to her. She is very sensitive and not the kind of person I could just say to her I need space I'm not happy with her being there so much. Some people have said I am being ungrateful because she is renting it so cheap but I feel that I am only feeling the way a normal thirty something would feel in he same situation. I have never been ungrateful to her in person just complained a lot to other people more just so I can rant. 

What do you think am I being ungrateful or just feeling how anyone my age would feel?

 

 

 

Kids are starving in Africa and you are moaning about your auntie, fuckin hell! 

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25 minutes ago, Happy Blue said:

 

Kids are starving in Africa and you are moaning about your auntie, fuckin hell! 

great idea, @Happy Blue.

I know you didn't say it in as many words but I believe giving those starving kids his auntie's house while he goes over to Africa and experience what they go through is a brilliant idea. 

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6 minutes ago, Stan said:

great idea, @Happy Blue.

I know you didn't say it in as many words but I believe giving those starving kids his auntie's house while he goes over to Africa and experience what they go through is a brilliant idea. 

That would be a welcome to the real world for him xD  ...when you think about the people living in the 3rd world, what do we really have to complain about? 

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16 hours ago, Happy Blue said:

That would be a welcome to the real world for him xD  ...when you think about the people living in the 3rd world, what do we really have to complain about? 

Very true. But to be fair most people moan about 1st world problems

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I'd say stop being a mong. You're living in a pretty excellent situation. You have a full house for next to fuck all so you can save for your own house In the future. Fuck knows this shite you're on about being "embarassed" to be renting a house from your aunt...that makes no sense. 

Stay in the house, stop being a knobhead to your aunt and chill out for fuck sake. Honestly, you'll regret leaving once you move into this bedroom you're going to be renting. 

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On 24/10/2017 at 0:10 PM, Berserker said:

I understand you, i wouldn't live with someone i don't get along with if i had the chance to move somewhere else. While it was nice of her to rent you the house for cheap, invading your personal space without asking for your permission is not. And i doubt she told you she may stay there sometimes when you made the agreement, otherwise knowing you from what you have written i know you wouldn't have accepted.

It's like for example when you make a deal that's beneficial to you with someone but then after the deal was made they tell you they want more money or something. Like no mate, that's not what we agreed, you shook my hand and gave me your word and never even hinted this was a possibility so fuck off.

The agreement was that she could come down to see the family which was generally every 8 weeks or so. And at Christmas. We never really thought about something like this. I asked for peoples opinions and so I have to accept with them but I don't personally feel like I'm being ungrateful. I've always appropriciated her renting it to me cheap but we never said I would deffintily stay there forever. 

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I'll take the house if.you're moving out. xD Whereabouts is it?

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Move out.

She gives it to you on the cheap so you can't really complain.

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