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What first made you sign up to TFF as it was back in the day? 

How have you survived being ginger? 

First Newcastle game? 

Worst Newcastle game you've been to? 

Is it true you once punched a horse? 

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If England played Panama, would you be more afraid of Ricardo Buitrago or Luis Tejada?

What kitchen did you end up purchasing out of all the ones sold on totalkitchensales?

Who is better? England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Ireland or Guersney?

Would you approve of a team based in Nunavut Canada for the MLS?

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1 hour ago, Anton said:

The ginger ninja is next. Haway.

Not sure if deliberate or not but you just spelled howay the mackem way :readthemessage:

 

1 hour ago, Stan said:

 

What first made you sign up to TFF as it was back in the day? 

Although he staunchly rejected this for years... back in about 2004 I used to use the Yahoo football chat room, one day Jim (TFF founder) was in there spamming the shit out of the place advertising his forum which had a different name. VJFootball I think it might have been. I joined that forum which eventually morphed into another one before finally the launch of totalfootballforums.com

How have you survived being ginger? 

As a teenager in the Blair years, when chav culture was rife, I would wear a hat or carry a concealed weapon. In adulthood primarily by hanging around people who aren't British.

First Newcastle game? 

Home to Royal Antwerp in the UEFA Cup, September 1994.

Worst Newcastle game you've been to? 

There have been many, but of course the two 3-0 home defeats to Sunderland were probably the worst.

Is it true you once punched a horse? 

Not that I recall

 

1 hour ago, Teso dos Bichos said:

 

Pardiola or John Carver. Out of those two, who would you pick to "coach" newcastle for the rest of your life?

Pardew, at least there might be a good run once every 3 years

Top or bottom?

Depends on how drunk I am 

Xbox or play station?

Xbox, haven't touched either in years

Using one or two sentences, describe Donald Trump?

Self important pathological liar and con man with no moral compass.

Favourite beer and liquor?

I drink solely to get drunk, I see no point in it otherwise, so have no real favourite, I just go with whatever will get me drunk fastest and cheapest

 

1 hour ago, Machado said:

 

What do you do?

I worked in financial research but I'm trying to get back into behavioural research, hopefully in the next month.

What did you study?

I have an undergraduate degree in Business and two postgrad degrees in psychology and organisational psychology.

Where do you want to live in the near future and years to come?

Before I lived in London I could imagine going nearly anywhere. But after being in London everywhere else now seems so insignificant and too quiet. I'm glad I didn't live in London when I was under the age of 25, I think that would have been shit, but late 20's until marriage and life is over settling down stage I can't see beyond it.

Do you go on Reddit or any other forums?

Nope, have not been on any other forums in 5 or 6 years. I probably only stayed using this place because it is good to talk to people you have come to know, respect and laugh with. I am too old now to open an account on another forum and try and work my way into their group, that's a young man's game.

What else do you do online besides porn?

Pump iron

Latest book you've read?

Just over half way through Steven Pinker's book The Better Angels of Our Nature: Why Violence Has Declined. 

It's 800+ pages and I don't really like books that go beyond 350. Apparently it is the last two chapters which gets to the dishy ideas, I'm still working my way through the first several chapters of repeated statistical examples of violence having declined, it could easily be cut down to 100 pages. 

 

1 hour ago, VanPaddy said:

How much do you charge for a Granite work top?

£3 a square inch

 

40 minutes ago, Blue said:

 

If England played Panama, would you be more afraid of Ricardo Buitrago or Luis Tejada?

You cannot be afraid of what you've never heard of

What kitchen did you end up purchasing out of all the ones sold on totalkitchensales?

One with a giant microwave capable of putting humans inside

Who is better? England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Ireland or Guersney?

Guernsey, because like Monaco they play in the domestic league so can buy Ronaldinho if they want

Would you approve of a team based in Nunavut Canada for the MLS?

Players would have to wear ice skates

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  • What's your most embarrassing moment in your life where you thought "Please lord bury me"... Tell all!
  • For whatever reason (an important one maybe), have you ever had to be a hypocrite and pretend to like someone or agree with something you are against.
  • Have you ever cheated on your (or a) partner?
  • Apart from Newcastle United or the England national side...  What's the most excited you have ever been in a football match where you went unusually mental?
  • If you were to move away from the UK, where would be your favoured place to go and live?
  • If you could change something about the area and people where you originate from, what would it be?
  • Do you have a phobia, if so what is it?
  • If reincarnation exists and you couldn't come back as a human being but could choose what to return as, what would it be?
  • Have you ever envied someone, if yes, why and whom?
  • Even if totally out of the ordinary (or it may not be out of the ordinary), what would be your dream job or maybe owning some sort of business...  Tell us about your thoughts on that.
  • If you wasn't you, but you were introduced to you and due to shared friends you suddenly started to see more of you...  What would be your thoughts on you and would you make a close friendship with you?  In total...  What would be the resume you think others that know you, think. 
  • Who's your favourite player of all time?
  • What for you was the legacy Bobby Robson left behind for football?
  • What changes do you think Newcastle United require to be amongst the those competing at the top once more?
  • What do you think about John McDonnell's taxing proposals as an 'emergency budget'?
  • What do you honestly think about our Brexit in the UK?  Should we have departed or not...  Were we fed a jackanory?
  • How would you fix the UK's immediate issues with a summary?
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What I always like about you Harvey is your sense of humour and intelligence... Which of these traits have been picked up from your parents??? 

You seem to have a very good grasp of the political landscape where does this depth of knowledge come from?? 

In the old days before pubs started to look like IKEA display showrooms you used to have both a Saloon Bar with nice seats and Carpets and a Public Bar with Lino and a Pool Table... I want you to pick 3 people you would like to take for a beer from here and which side would you pick??? 

Have you ever told a big 'White Lie' to get yourself out of a spot of bother or to save someone unnecessary grief before??? 

Given the state of the World Landscape right now what hope do you hold for the future??? 

Are you a lover or a fighter???

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4 hours ago, SirBalon said:
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What's your most embarrassing moment in your life where you thought "Please lord bury me"... Tell all!

I don't have anything truly horrendous that I recall, maybe I have blacked it out if anything happened. It's probably not a good story but the thing I remember making my heart race with embarrassment the most was when I thought I saw this lass I lived with in uni halls walking up ahead, I ran to catch up and jumped next to her and said "booo", to my horror it wasn't her, I shit myself in that split second and in my panic literally ran away. 

For whatever reason (an important one maybe), have you ever had to be a hypocrite and pretend to like someone or agree with something you are against.

Regularly, but not for Donald Trump reasons, I am just one of those people who finds it difficult to say no.

Have you ever cheated on your (or a) partner?

You could say so but I believe not, on a technicality. I was sort of seeing this girl at uni, it wasn't very far down the line. Everyone went back home for Easter, then returned to uni, she hadn't returned, after about the 2nd week our whole group were pre-drinking and one person said to everyone did you know such and such (this girl) isn't coming back. I asked her best friend who confirmed it then fb messaged her asking wtf why didn't she tell me, too afraid or something was the excuse blah blah. Got absolutely bladdered that night to forget about it and her best friend made a move, you know what happens after that. We kept messaging for a couple of months over the summer, uni had ended, I was back in Newcastle looking for a job, she started thinking about moving to Newcastle so I told her what happened that night.

Apart from Newcastle United or the England national side...  What's the most excited you have ever been in a football match where you went unusually mental?

I can't recall specifics but I have been taught to support English teams in Europe, so I have celebrated on occasion for them before.

If you were to move away from the UK, where would be your favoured place to go and live?

Without doubt I would go back to Canada, I spent 4 months there and was treat like royalty, it does wonders for your ego.

If you could change something about the area and people where you originate from, what would it be?

Too many litter bugs and people who spit chewing gum on the floor. It has shown up massively since the council budget cuts. 

Do you have a phobia, if so what is it?

I don't but I do suffer from claustrophobia in my dreams which may one day bare itself in reality, but so far it has not.

If reincarnation exists and you couldn't come back as a human being but could choose what to return as, what would it be?

Dolphins look like they enjoy themselves

Have you ever envied someone, if yes, why and whom?

I probably could but I haven't come across anyone since I was young. Slightly related but not the same, I hate it when someone copies my goals, like when someone says oh yeh I'd like to do that, fuck you this is my goal, lol

Even if totally out of the ordinary (or it may not be out of the ordinary), what would be your dream job or maybe owning some sort of business...  Tell us about your thoughts on that.

If I had the capital I would run an animal sanctuary or dog shelter. 

If you wasn't you, but you were introduced to you and due to shared friends you suddenly started to see more of you...  What would be your thoughts on you and would you make a close friendship with you?  In total...  What would be the resume you think others that know you, think. 

I'm not a very serious or assertive person, I tend to keep my thoughts to myself in the real world and only joke around. People are often shocked when I come out with something more because it is so rare that I bother. Most notably I remember the shock some friends had when the first assignment results came out and I came top of the class, prior to that they genuinely thought I was just this stupid guy who makes jokes.

Who's your favourite player of all time?

Alan Shearer now and forever. 

What for you was the legacy Bobby Robson left behind for football?

Successful managers are role models and he was a gentleman in a game where so many were and are lacking class, I can't think of a better role model to have.

What changes do you think Newcastle United require to be amongst the those competing at the top once more?

Somewhere between 1 and 2 billion pounds

What do you think about John McDonnell's taxing proposals as an 'emergency budget'?

It's pure propaganda which doesn't hold up to scrutiny.

What do you honestly think about our Brexit in the UK?  Should we have departed or not...  Were we fed a jackanory?

There are many ways in which to depart. The result was narrow, that means everyone must be conciliatory and compromising on that. That they aren't is the real issue.

How would you fix the UK's immediate issues with a summary?

I would begin a lot of small economic experiments in poorer areas, things like universal basic income, helicopter money and government control of money creation. 

I would have the Bank of England use some form of quantitative easing to take all or some of the PFI debt off the NHS and Schools.

 

2 hours ago, Bluewolf said:

 

 

What I always like about you Harvey is your sense of humour and intelligence... Which of these traits have been picked up from your parents??? 

Maybe some of my type of humour is from my father, but not all of it, so I'm not sure where else it came from.

Both my parents and sets of grandparents are what I would call working class smart, bound to their class of that era, they didn't go to university for example, although my mother probably could have, my father ended up being very successful in the Blair years.

You seem to have a very good grasp of the political landscape where does this depth of knowledge come from?? 

I don't really know why I have any interest in it and sometimes I try to switch off, I used to be happy to just get drunk and have fun instead. 

In the old days before pubs started to look like IKEA display showrooms you used to have both a Saloon Bar with nice seats and Carpets and a Public Bar with Lino and a Pool Table... I want you to pick 3 people you would like to take for a beer from here and which side would you pick??? 

I'm not a fan of having a beer, if I drink I want to get drunk and have a good time, so I would pick people who I think would be bouncing off the walls, which would be Berserker, FOYM and True Blue.

Have you ever told a big 'White Lie' to get yourself out of a spot of bother or to save someone unnecessary grief before??? 

Probably but I don't remember any specifics. I used to tell loads of white lies when I was a teenager.

Given the state of the World Landscape right now what hope do you hold for the future??? 

I may be naive but I believe in the good in everyone, so I believe the world will come good with the right encouragement.

Are you a lover or a fighter???

Probably lover lover

 

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1 hour ago, Harry said:

You're clearly a pretty sharp dude. What marks did you get in school? Where did you rank amongst your peers? 

How old are you? 

My grades were average to slightly above average in high school and sixth form. It was caused by enjoying myself and playing out, playing football all the time and just winging it in exams. Some people can wing it and still get the best grades but not I. My parents didn't pressure me at all, but they pressured my older sister who ended up getting very good grades. It is a great regret of mine that I wasted my school days, over the last several years I've had a repeated dream where I go back to school as an adult and take my exams again, It's not a very pleasant dream though.

It wasn't until 3rd year of university that I started to perform results wise, by postgrad I was flying. It probably wasn't until I was 26 years old that I read my first book.

I was above average at Maths and English by winging it, but the sciences, biology and chemistry in particular I was dogshit at because their exams were all fact repeating and I just didn't do the work.

I was good at Art but didn't get the grades in college and have no idea why. I think it was because I wasn't arty farty, I just liked painting what I could see. If the grades accompanied the quality of my work then my life might have been very different and I probably would have followed that route instead of business.  

 

1 hour ago, Spike said:

Where were you when you finger blaster a bird for the first time? Prepping a roast chicken in the kitchen doesn't count.

Nowhere kinky. I was raised in the Catholic community so I was innocent, shy and extremely respectful until I became experienced.

 

58 minutes ago, VanPaddy said:

Whose Ass would you finger and why?

SirBalon's because it is most likely to be clean

7 minutes ago, Spike said:

Who would you let finger your ass and why?

Cannabis because I get the feeling he has stumpy fingers

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11 hours ago, Kitchen Sales said:

Not sure if deliberate or not but you just spelled howay the mackem way :readthemessage:

 

 

Deliberate! B|

Thoughts on v-bomber and Craig Moore?

Have you met anyone from TF365/TFF? If so, what was it like? If not, who would you 'like' to meet?

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6 hours ago, Anton said:

Deliberate! B|

Thoughts on v-bomber and Craig Moore?

Have you met anyone from TF365/TFF? If so, what was it like? If not, who would you 'like' to meet?

V-bomber the player or the move xD 

The player had the best ability to hold the ball up I've ever seen. It seemed to stick to his feet and defenders couldn't get around his fat body to take it off him.

Craig Moore spent too many years at Rangers, he could have been a decent Premier League defender but left it too late.

 

I probably wouldn't meet anyone from here as this place is like having an affair, you wanna keep it as far away from your wife as possible.

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46 minutes ago, Kitchen Sales said:

I probably wouldn't meet anyone from here as this place is like having an affair, you wanna keep it as far away from your wife as possible.

Did you not mention in a post somewhere once that you have met a couple of people off here but they didn't know about it?? :ph34r:

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51 minutes ago, Stan said:

 

Favourite Netflix show?

I don't have netflix.

Have you ever been to a World Cup game?

Nope and I doubt I'll ever get the chance. Competition for England tickets is too tough.

Coke or Pepsi?

Never been a fan of fizzy drinks and can't tell the difference.

Tea of Coffee?

Don't drink either, if forced I'd say tea. Coffee is gross and I only have it if I need to stay awake

Lights on or lights off?

Inbetween

Day or night person?

Day now that I am older. 

Masterchef or Mastermind?

Mastermind, not interested in cooking and not a foodie.

 

9 minutes ago, Bluewolf said:

Did you not mention in a post somewhere once that you have met a couple of people off here but they didn't know about it?? :ph34r:

Yes and I believe one of you was carrying a bag for life

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How easily do you burn?

Do you go to these type of events?

gingers-in-southpark-2.jpg?w=748&h=295&c

 

Blackburn or Burnley?

Who is the biggest cunt on the forum?

How good was Alan Shearer? 

Favourite Newcastle player of all time?

How have you managed to consistently be the best Admin for so many years? 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSkHL-1Ag5hEo9yLG4UTVV

 

 

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1 minute ago, Cannabis said:

arrive at your house with sixteen bottles of red wine, four packets of cocaine (that looks suspiciously like human remains) and a zebra. How does the night progress?

@Tanksie has obviously manipulated the purity of that generous portion of coke! :ph34r:

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Have you ever wanted to dye your hair?

Do you envy Harry for banging Hermione?

Have you betrayed many people?

Have you ever starred where's Wally?

Top 5 favourite members on here?

Will you ever continue Aliens?

Who will win the WC?

Would you say you were an Alpha or Beta?

Ideal woman (physically speaking)?

What's your nickname among your group of friends?

 

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3 hours ago, JOSHBRFC said:

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSkHL-1Ag5hEo9yLG4UTVV

 

How easily do you burn?

My cooking instructions are

15 minutes at 30 degrees +

25 minutes at 25-29 degrees

 

Do you go to these type of events?

gingers-in-southpark-2.jpg?w=748&h=295&c

 

xD no, I see they happen in Amsterdam, I don't know much about them but from an English perspective it looks like it would be a very middle class way of dealing with abuse. Where I grew up ginger was an abusive word in itself and aggressively, thuggishly used, it created aggression in myself, at one stage in my teens I couldn't do my paper round without carrying a lead pipe with me in case some stranger thought of having a go verbally. Until I came across middle class southern women in university I was staunchly against the use of the word ginger, over time their repetitive use softened me towards it and I learned to use it to my advantage.

Blackburn or Burnley?

I'll say Blackburn because I have only ever been to Burnley in the dark, it's grim and the takeaway I went to was shite

Who is the biggest cunt on the forum?

That's harsh, I can't give an answer

How good was Alan Shearer? 

The best player of the 90's to play in England and at least in the top 5 strikers globally of the decade.

Favourite Newcastle player of all time?

Shearer is the answer to everything, but if he wasn't then Les Ferdinand

How have you managed to consistently be the best Admin for so many years? 

By doing fuck all until a few weeks before questions about staff come up, that way it alters people's perceptions. Maybe also because I rarely ever wield any power in terms of telling people off, when you do you rub people up the wrong way and get haters, at TFF CC in particular handed most of the wrist slaps out and was disliked as a result. Good cop, bad cop we had going on.

 

2 hours ago, Cannabis said:
  1. What's it like living without a soul? 
  2. You are trapped in a lift with @Berserker, @Dickie and @Machado - how do you pass the time until the fire brigade arrive?
  3. What is your favourite city/country in the world?
  4. Given what Newcastle is like, how many of @Any O'Brien's relatives have you had sex with? 
  5. How happy were you that @Julio Geordio made a welcome return to the forum?
  6. What is 44 + 25?
  7. Do you take pleasure at the current state of affairs at Sunderland or has it gone past the point of being funny?
  8. @DeadLinesman, @nudge, @SirBalon, @Tanksie, @carefreeluke and @Panflute arrive at your house with sixteen bottles of red wine, four packets of cocaine (that looks suspiciously like human remains) and a zebra. How does the night progress?
  9. If you had to decorate your room with posters of TF365 members, which three would you choose?
  10. How French do you imagine @Batard to be?

What's it like living without a soul? 

Great, you don't have to go to church

You are trapped in a lift with @Berserker, @Dickie and @Machado - how do you pass the time until the fire brigade arrive?

I would teach them how to talk in a Geordie accent for my own amusement 

What is your favourite city/country in the world?

Toronto

Given what Newcastle is like, how many of @Any O'Brien's relatives have you had sex with? 

Just his mam

How happy were you that @Julio Geordio made a welcome return to the forum?

Hope he gets back to post regularly so the old band will be back together, need to get a few others back posting regularly too

What is 44 + 25?

69er

Do you take pleasure at the current state of affairs at Sunderland or has it gone past the point of being funny?

It's cruel now.

@DeadLinesman, @nudge, @SirBalon, @Tanksie, @carefreeluke and @Panflute arrive at your house with sixteen bottles of red wine, four packets of cocaine (that looks suspiciously like human remains) and a zebra. How does the night progress?

Sounds like a sausage fest so SirBalon will have to tuck his bits into his buttock hole to even it up a bit, luke is in charge of the music but it must be 90s themed, we will all take part in waxing Deadlinesman's hairy chest, nudge can drink all sixteen bottles of red wine, before the bukkake party starts Panflute will give a presentation on how to avoid contracting HIV, Tanksie will have snorted so much cocaine that he will only have one giant nostril by the end of the night

If you had to decorate your room with posters of TF365 members, which three would you choose?

I will work on the basis of having to describe why I have your faces on my wall to a girl, so I will have Bluewolf as I can pretend he is a war vet in the family, LFCMadLad because I imagine he looks like Bez from Happy Monday's shaking maraca's and Stan to play the diversity card

How French do you imagine @Batard to be?

So far down the line that he says oh-ho-he-haaaa 

 

1 hour ago, Berserker said:

 

Would you ever wanted to dye your hair?

Nope, only wankers do that.

Do you envy Harry for banging Hermione?

No, I never found her attractive

Have you betrayed many people?

It was hard to betray Chazz

Have you ever starred where's Wally?

Have you found me?

Top 5 favourite members on here?

I couldn't answer that because I like most people. But I feel a special loyalty to Hewitt, Anton and ...Dan because we all go way back with ESMS, as long as they are around I have a connection to a big part of my life that has now gone

Will you ever continue Aliens?

Yes

Who will win the WC?

Argentina

Would you say you were an Alpha or Beta?

Beta in my 20's, Alpha in my teens.

Ideal woman (physically speaking)?

Slim but with wide hips and big arse

What's your nickname among your group of friends?

No nickname anymore now that I hang around boring professional people

 

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