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I was inspired to make this thread after being told by a bloke at work that Jesse Lingard should start more games for Manchester United as he's the re-incarnation of Andres Iniesta. After spending a good five minutes realising that he wasn't taking the piss it got me wondering what other footballing shite is being spouted around the continent. 

Basically, if you over-hear, get told or see online someone talking absolute drivel in relation to the beautiful game of football let us all know in here so that we can have a good chuckle. 

Other blinders that I've heard this season have been;

  • ''The worst case scenario is that we're winning 2-0 at half-time'' -  A bloke I was stood next to having a piss in the Goodison Park turned to his son and spouted the nonsense above. His reasoning for the bizarre philosophy was that being 2-0 up at half time puts the team in two minds about whether to attack for a third or hang on to the two goal lead and basically suggested that we should either stick to 1-0 or push on for three before half-time came around in order to not be in this predicament. It was at this point that I picked my jaw up off the floor, put my cock away and returned to my seat in disbelief. Thankfully, his son seemed to share the same view.
  • ''Anyone could win the treble with Barcelona'' - Yeah, this is one that most people have probably heard. Whenever there's a cup competition that the likes of Barcelona or Real Madrid win there's always one tosser claiming that it's not an achievement and that had he been picked as the manager could have done the same or better. I've gone into great detail before about why this is a bollocks statement but I'm hoping I don't need to repeat myself as you all agree with me, it's one of the most small minded and ignorant views around. 

 

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On 13/03/2017 at 5:37 PM, Cannabis said:

 It was at this point that I picked my jaw up off the floor, put my cock away and returned to my seat

that is just disgusting. what on earth do you get up to at Goodison Park?

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In fairness to the man in the toilet he has a point, psychologically you're more likely to step off the gas if you go in 2-0 up and the other team will have more of a "fuck it, just give it a go" attitude.

Not that you can really pick and choose when you score and I think we'd all rather go 2-0 up whenever but it'd be best to score both goals either side of half-time.

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25 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

Only just seen this. Darren Randolph is a monstrosity, a truly wank goalkeeper and it's such a kick in the face to Adrian that he's being kept out of the West Ham team by someone as poor as that. Whoever thinks that he's fit to lace Schmeichel's boots nevermind be in the same ball-park as him deserves a vasectomy without anaesthetic. 

xD

He's an Ireland fan though so I can kind of forgive him having rose tinted specs. That particular one though I'm not having at all.

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Literally an unknown club outside of South America and people that have any sort of knowledge of world football. One of the biggest clubs in South-America (if not the biggest) but irrelevant when it comes to the rest of the world as South-American football has severely lagged behind in marketing in the last twenty years.

West Ham

In the How big is the team above you thread. Just utterly bizzare. Even the ending is completely wrong.

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13 minutes ago, LaSambadeStGermain said:

In the How big is the team above you thread. Just utterly bizzare. Even the ending is completely wrong.

Yes, because when you ask a chinese person if they've heard of Man United ans River Plate, thye'll choose the later.You just have to accept outside the bubble of South-America and hardcore football fans nobody knows shit about River Plate. It is simply delusional thinking that River Plate has the commercial and cultural penetration that a top European club has.

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best thing I know about River Plate is that Ariel Ortega once played for them and they play in the one of the biggest South American derbies against Boca Juniors. 

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10 minutes ago, Spike said:

Yes, because when you ask a chinese person if they've heard of Man United ans River Plate, thye'll choose the later.You just have to accept outside the bubble of South-America and hardcore football fans nobody knows shit about River Plate. It is simply delusional thinking that River Plate has the commercial and cultural penetration that a top European club has.

They are one of the biggest clubs in the world whether you like it or not. 

No one said that River is as well known as a European club but that doesn't make teams like Stoke and Sunderland bigger than them.

That last bit is also 100% wrong in the original post. South American leagues were never well marketed. The decline came with the money emerging with European clubs as well as the foreign rules becoming more lenient in many countries. Europe is a bigger market for owners than South America. Its not that they were well marketed because they never were.

Saying River aren't that well known isn't all wrong but saying they are irrelavent and not a big club when they have prestigious honours, historic players and a huge fanbase is just completely daft and bizarre thing to say.

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5 minutes ago, LaSambadeStGermain said:

They are one of the biggest clubs in the world whether you like it or not. 

No one said that River is as well known as a European club but that doesn't make teams like Stoke and Sunderland bigger than them.

That last bit is also 100% wrong in the original post. South American leagues were never well marketed. The decline came with the money emerging with European clubs as well as the foreign rules becoming more lenient in many countries. Europe is a bigger market for owners than South America. Its not that they were well marketed because they never were.

Saying River aren't that well known isn't all wrong but saying they are irrelavent and not a big club when they have prestigious honours, historic players and a huge fanbase is just completely daft and bizarre thing to say.

So are arguing a point that I didnt even make? I didnt say they arent big and they are irrelevant on a world stage.

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1 minute ago, Spike said:

So are arguing a point that I didnt even make? I didnt say they arent big and they are irrelevant on a world stage.

My bad. Either way, I disagree with them being irrelavent as they still come out with players that go on and do well in Europe and last time I checked they played Barcelona a few years back in a competitive match.

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2 minutes ago, LaSambadeStGermain said:

My bad. Either way, I disagree with them being irrelavent as they still come out with players that go on and do well in Europe and last time I checked they played Barcelona a few years back in a competitive match.

who?

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Just now, Stan said:

who?

Giovanni Simeone, Emanuel Mamanna, Gabriel Mercado (he started at Racing but is known for his time at River) are the most recent names. Sebastian Driussi is next on the list. I have a feeling Lucas Alario will stick around at River.

In the last 15 years, Javier Saviola, Alexis Sanchez, Falcao, Javier Mascherano and Erik Lamela all had stints at River and most of those made their names there.

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7 minutes ago, LaSambadeStGermain said:

My bad. Either way, I disagree with them being irrelavent as they still come out with players that go on and do well in Europe and last time I checked they played Barcelona a few years back in a competitive match.

Maccabi what is it called has played big clubs before. Playing Barcelona doesnt grant big club status. What players since Higuain? They were even relegated a few years back.

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Just now, Spike said:

Maccabi what is it called has played big clubs before. Playing Barcelona doesnt grant big club status. What players since Higuain? They were even relegated a few years back.

It doesn't, but playing in the Club World Cup final was because you won the Libertadores, meaning you are relevant.

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Just now, LaSambadeStGermain said:

It doesn't, but playing in the Club World Cup final was because you won the Libertadores, meaning you are relevant.

Yeah, relevant in SA which again reinforces my point.

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45 minutes ago, LaSambadeStGermain said:

Giovanni Simeone, Emanuel Mamanna, Gabriel Mercado (he started at Racing but is known for his time at River) are the most recent names. Sebastian Driussi is next on the list. I have a feeling Lucas Alario will stick around at River.

In the last 15 years, Javier Saviola, Alexis Sanchez, Falcao, Javier Mascherano and Erik Lamela all had stints at River and most of those made their names there.

They made their names in Europe. Go back in time to when those players were playing in South America and ask non-South American football fans about them. You'll get a lot of blank looks.

And having those players play for you is nothing to boast about when you consider that Saviola left River Plate when he was 19, Falcao was 23, Mascherano 20 and Lamela 19. That doesn't happen to globally powerful clubs, it happens to teams like West Ham and Southampton.

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1 hour ago, Burning Gold said:

They made their names in Europe. Go back in time to when those players were playing in South America and ask non-South American football fans about them. You'll get a lot of blank looks.

And having those players play for you is nothing to boast about when you consider that Saviola left River Plate when he was 19, Falcao was 23, Mascherano 20 and Lamela 19. That doesn't happen to globally powerful clubs, it happens to teams like West Ham and Southampton.

It's not that they played for us, they came from our youths which are the best in the world. That's not because of not being "powerful",  it's because we've had corrupt as fuck owners over the last 30 years. But we still are one of the top 5 clubs with the most members in the world, we have one of the biggest and best stadiums that we often fill, and we are one of the top 20/30 teams with the most fans in the Western Hemisphere.

 

1 hour ago, Spike said:

Maccabi what is it called has played big clubs before. Playing Barcelona doesnt grant big club status. What players since Higuain? They were even relegated a few years back.

Lamela, Ocampos, Simeone, Kranneviter, Pezzella, Lanzini, Balanta, Funes Mori, Vangioni, Cirigliano, Falcao.

2 hours ago, Cannabis said:

Decent post but that first paragraph isn't true for me.

Yes we are, you cunt.

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6 minutes ago, Berserker said:

It's not that they played for us, they came from our youths which are the best in the world. That's not because of not being "powerful",  it's because we've had corrupt as fuck owners over the last 30 years. But we still are one of the top 5 clubs with the most members in the world, we have one of the biggest and best stadiums that we often fill, and we are one of the top 20/30 teams with the most fans in the Western Hemisphere.

 

 

How insular is that though? There are Aussie Rules football clubs that sell out 70,000 per match but even parts of Australia don't know they exist.

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