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Sorry to hear that Eco. But if it's better for your long term-happiness. It's for the best. 

 

In Germany we say "Lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken, als ein Schrecken ohne Ende." :101_point_up:

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Sorry to hear that Eco. I know how much you've invested in to your relationship so that news sucks. I hope you have somewhere where you can have a roof over your head for the short term.

Glad to see you're making steps to ensure it doesnt affect your child.

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13 hours ago, Eco said:

Okay- so tonight it was decided that we are splitting up. Take turns with our child, and then next week I will likely be moving out.

Oh damn dude :(

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I just re-read the last few pages @Eco, my ex-wife was heavily into weed and when she decided to 'partition' her feelings towards our marriage she just shut me out. She also had an abortion and seeing how my current partner was mentally affected by pregnancy and subsequent hormone changes prior and after her miscarriage, I wonder whether your wife really has a grasp on what's going on due to hormonal imbalances following childbirth. 

What I mean is my partner recently said to me "I don't recognize the person I am when the hormones kick in, in that moment I'm resentful and absolutely certain I'm unhappy with my life and that you're the problem. When it passes, It shocks me that I felt that way". 

We've been to see specialists and one believes she has a condition called PMDD, basically hormones going haywire and early onset on menopause. I know you're not asking for advice and it's not my place to give it, so if you do want me to tell you how I'm learning to support my partner through it to minimise conflict, I'm happy to share sir. 

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Cheers @Batard - That could certainly be an issue, but there are plenty of them there that I just don't see the need to stay in the marriage. It's only harmful to our child if she sees her two parents fighting all the time, yet if one or both of us can be happier apart, then at least my daughter will see and experience that. 

TBH, as of this morning, I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. 

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6 minutes ago, Eco said:

Cheers @Batard - That could certainly be an issue, but there are plenty of them there that I just don't see the need to stay in the marriage. It's only harmful to our child if she sees her two parents fighting all the time, yet if one or both of us can be happier apart, then at least my daughter will see and experience that. 

TBH, as of this morning, I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. 

That's fair enough sir. Also you're a good looking Chap, I'm sure you'll be ok in the long run without doubt. If push comes to shove, there's always Martin :D

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3 minutes ago, Batard said:

That's fair enough sir. Also you're a good looking Chap, I'm sure you'll be ok in the long run without doubt. If push comes to shove, there's always Martin :D

giphy.gif

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Sorry to hear that @Eco. Hope you can still sort things out your end for your own sanity and also for your daughter! She's the most important person to ensure there is happiness for despite your split :)

 

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Yeah mate, sorry to hear that - but I do think ultimately both you and your wife will be better off because of this; it doesn't sound like the relationship was really making either of you happy. And sticking together as an unhappy couple for your kid isn't fair to your daughter (or to either of you), because that kid will ultimately be happier with two happy parents. And obviously the two of you'll be happier. So for all 3 parties involved, I think long term this may be the best thing for you.

Having to move out is a bit shit though, tbh. Especially since she was the one putting ultimatums on everyone.

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Sorry to hear it, but like I said - it's not the end of the world, providing you both still intend to give your daughter the best upbringing you'll still be able to, and I think given you're in an obviously fractured relationship it may end up being best for your daughter as well.

It will no doubt be a shit period but there's light at the end of this one in my opinion.

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So, it's about time for an update boys and girls. 

The wife and I have officially decided on divorce. I proposed what I planned for the financials (I make significantly more than her so I'll have to pay alimony), and then she came back with another proposal which I accepted. We had a serious talk last night, and we both agreed that we didn't want to fuck over the other, but wanted to find a solution that made everyone feel okay, and that's what I think we did. 

Tonight we told our daughter that 'Daddy will be living elsewhere', but that we are still a family and that both Mom and Dad both love her just as much as ever. I'll tell you now, that was one of the hardest things to do in my life. She's only 2.5 years old so all she wanted to do was watch 'Elisa' (Frozen), but still, it's incredibly painful to tell your daughter that you are leaving. 

I'll give my soon-to-be ex-wife props, she has done well since we decided that divorce is the next step, she is definitely getting in the family time while it's there, and keeping her emotions in check when we are in front of the daughter. 

I'll be living here for probably another 2 weeks, as we prepare the house to sell, and then I'm going to move in with my Dad while the house sells. Once it sells, the wife and I will split the profits, and she'll move into either a town home or an apartment I imagine, whereas I'll likely stay with my Dad for 2-3 months as I get my head wrapped around the fact that I'm 34 and divorced. 

A lot of mixed emotions from me honestly. I hate that I'm leaving my previous daughter, but I know deep down that this is best for the future. My Dad said that I should spend some of the profits from the house to travel for a week, so I might be heading to Europe depending on how this virus goes, I would that I would get a cheap flight, but who knows. 

8 years with someone is a long time, and part of me feels like it's a miracle we made it this far, while another part of me hates that I'm just another 'failed marriage'. I have been with this woman for almost a decade, we have escaped death, raised a daughter, and have had both great and terrible times...to say that this was bittersweet would justify what exactly I'm feeling during this moment. 

Regardless, this is just the end of a section of my self novel, and now it's time to focus on the ending of it while also preparing for the next chapter.  

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Another update:

Well, my wife has 2 sisters, and 2 have just filed for divorce, and my wife and I following right behind them. So the younger sister, Hunter, is an absolute wreck. She doesn't take care of herself, or her child, lives on welfare, and really just begged family members for money. Her husband, is/was a raging alcoholic and drug user, who would do jobs for cash and then spend it on booze/drugs, etc. 

So it got really bad this weekend, and Hunter's soon-to-be ex, left the house, took their dog, and we haven't heard from him since. I was trying to be supportive to my soon-to-be ex, and so we let her sister and her son come stay with us this weekend. 

Absolute nightmare. Hunter smokes about 1 pack of cigs a day, is an absolute slob, and quite frankly, a terrible mother. Her son is certainly on the spectrum and she told me that she hopes he is a savant so that she can go on TV and make money...yes, she's an idiot. 

The funny thing came about at night when my daughter has her room, we have the master (where Leighton has been sleeping), and then the guest bedroom (where I have been sleeping). So I was getting ready to sleep on the couch, and Leighton said, 'Hey, just come sleep in here, the bed is big enough', and I was partially drunk so I agreed. Well, sometime throughout the night, I had the massively detailed sex dream, and woke up groping Leighton. She said to wake up and was about to scold me when I apologized and just said I was dreaming, so I went back to the other side of the bed and fell asleep. I fell asleep again, but my dream this time was with Leighton and her sisters, saying that they felt bad for Josh (Hunter's deadbeat, drug addicted husband), so they were going to take turns sucking his dick while I watching the Spartak match in the livingroom. I was livid because I certainly didn't want to see that shit while I was watching the only country still playing matches, and Spartak at that! So I went yelled, grabbed my things, and left....

And then I woke up, but instead of be overcome with sexual tension, I was overcome with the desire to bash Leighton's head in, soon realizing that it was a dream. 

I look at my watch, saw it was just 1pm, and said fuck it, this is not worth it, and then went into the livingroom and slept there. 

When we all woke up and Leighton saw I slept on couch, she asked why had I moved, and I simply sad, don't worry about. 

I need to get out of this house. xD

Also, my drink of choice wasn't the usually vodka, but instead the glorious Sol beer, so @nudge...I have about 6 more Sol beers in my fridge I'm not touching until I move if you want to come and pick them up. 

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And I know that I often talk poorly of Leighton, and her issues, but her mother died of a drug overdose and so she was never raised with a mother. Me? I have two amazing parents that found true happiness with other people, yet never argued for fought in front of me. So I try to cut her some slack...

Plus, this weekend Hunter just needed to talk, and she often talked about suicide and how her life isn't worth it anymore, and so I stayed up really late one night talk with her, and try to make her think rationally about how she has a kid and the fact that Josh left her is actually a good thing. I suggested that she starts to learn more about what makes her happy, and as long as it's healthy, begin to find other people who share that interests and are just good people. We spoke to hours, and the next days Hunter left to go live with her Dad, and once Emerson (my daughter) was asleep, Leighton sat me down, and very compassionately, thanked me for helping her sister, and apologized for all the nasty things she had said (I apologized as well), and she said that she is so thankful that we aren't like that. She was grateful that we were easily able to put aside our differences for our daughter, and that we had separate groups of friends that made us better. 

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5 minutes ago, Eco said:

Another update:

Well, my wife has 2 sisters, and 2 have just filed for divorce, and my wife and I following right behind them. So the younger sister, Hunter, is an absolute wreck. She doesn't take care of herself, or her child, lives on welfare, and really just begged family members for money. Her husband, is/was a raging alcoholic and drug user, who would do jobs for cash and then spend it on booze/drugs, etc. 

So it got really bad this weekend, and Hunter's soon-to-be ex, left the house, took their dog, and we haven't heard from him since. I was trying to be supportive to my soon-to-be ex, and so we let her sister and her son come stay with us this weekend. 

Absolute nightmare. Hunter smokes about 1 pack of cigs a day, is an absolute slob, and quite frankly, a terrible mother. Her son is certainly on the spectrum and she told me that she hopes he is a savant so that she can go on TV and make money...yes, she's an idiot. 

The funny thing came about at night when my daughter has her room, we have the master (where Leighton has been sleeping), and then the guest bedroom (where I have been sleeping). So I was getting ready to sleep on the couch, and Leighton said, 'Hey, just come sleep in here, the bed is big enough', and I was partially drunk so I agreed. Well, sometime throughout the night, I had the massively detailed sex dream, and woke up groping Leighton. She said to wake up and was about to scold me when I apologized and just said I was dreaming, so I went back to the other side of the bed and fell asleep. I fell asleep again, but my dream this time was with Leighton and her sisters, saying that they felt bad for Josh (Hunter's deadbeat, drug addicted husband), so they were going to take turns sucking his dick while I watching the Spartak match in the livingroom. I was livid because I certainly didn't want to see that shit while I was watching the only country still playing matches, and Spartak at that! So I went yelled, grabbed my things, and left....

And then I woke up, but instead of be overcome with sexual tension, I was overcome with the desire to bash Leighton's head in, soon realizing that it was a dream. 

I look at my watch, saw it was just 1pm, and said fuck it, this is not worth it, and then went into the livingroom and slept there. 

When we all woke up and Leighton saw I slept on couch, she asked why had I moved, and I simply sad, don't worry about. 

I need to get out of this house. xD

Also, my drink of choice wasn't the usually vodka, but instead the glorious Sol beer, so @nudge...I have about 6 more Sol beers in my fridge I'm not touching until I move if you want to come and pick them up. 

Geez... Sounds like a madhouse. Also that dream is very detailed...sounds like someone's got a weird kink xD

Thanks for the beer offer - coming to pick it up might be slightly problematic though xD

 

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Oh, and last thing on Hunter, she has a Masters of Ohio State University in Social Work, and owes close to $200k in student loans that she can't pay because she can't hold down a job, can't stop smoking and doing drugs, and has a lot of health issues (she has either Krons or Clitis [sp?]). 

She also doesn't have eyebrows anymore because she rips them all out....I have posted her photo on here and she is a skeleton of what she used to be. 

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1 minute ago, nudge said:

Also that dream is very detailed...sounds like someone's got a weird kink xD

 

Which one? The sex one? 

Or the one that pissed me off? 

And also, I have extremely vivid dreams, and there are dreams I could describe in detail today, yet I had them decades ago). 

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Just now, Eco said:

Which one? The sex one? 

Or the one that pissed me off? 

And also, I have extremely vivid dreams, and there are dreams I could describe in detail today, yet I had them decades ago). 

The one were you had your wife and her sisters sucking Josh off in the living room while you were watching a football match :4_joy:

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Just now, nudge said:

The one were you had your wife and her sisters sucking Josh off in the living room while you were watching a football match :4_joy:

Yeah - weird as fuck, and it made me so mad..I remember thinking, 'We aren't even officially divorced yet, and even if we were, why HIM?!?!'

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