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Dating, Relationships and Marriage Thread


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On 03/09/2020 at 20:43, Eco said:

Funny how it works. The above post was written on March 9th (9/3), today is September 3rd (3/9) and things have changed more than I could have ever imagined. 

Soon after this post was written with 100% certainty on my end, COVID hit Atlanta hard and we as a city had the Shelter in Place order. Wife and I decided to live in the same house and see this out so that neither of us had to worry about outside containment during all the craziness that was the beginning of this pandemic. 

I'm not sure the exact time line, but maybe a week (or two?) after this, my wife and worked on setting up the house for our daughter, which included buying a pool, buying a playground, setting up a tent,  and even buying an inflatable bounce castle to keep her entertained while we were here. Slowly, while we were working on these mutual goals, we began talking more and more about the more 'serious' topics, and somehow our communication was much more open, honest, less judged then in the past, which allowed us to broach some serious topics we might have hidden otherwise. We continued to sleep in different rooms, but slowly our communication improved.

Then, my father got diagnosed with COVID, and my world certainly shifted. My Dad isn't in the best of health, and so I was certainly worried as I somewhat idolize my father. My wife, Leighton, helped me by just listening as I spoke to her about my concerns and fears with my father, and all she did was listen and be there for me. It's worth mentioning that my wife lost her mother to alcoholism and drugs the year before we met, and while they weren't close, she does have experience with losing a parent. 

One night, I was feeling really down about being locked in my house while my Dad was sick, and in her attempt to change the mood, my wife arranged a nice steak dinner outside after our child had gone to bed. She set up a temporary table we had stored in the garage, put some some classical favorites of mine in the background, and even lit up some candles so that we weren't in complete darkness. It was wonderful and without making this into a film you might see on some NSFW websites, we ended up having sex, which was the first time we had in months, and first time doing it with any sign of passion in possibly years. 

That night I slept in my bed again, and haven't left. We have continued to talk about all things, and worked together our underlying issues, and created a safe space for each of us to be open with our dreams, crazy ideas (I have a few), and things we want to accomplish, all with the understanding that the other person will listen and be supportive. Game Changer. 

So now, here we are and it's been maybe 3 or so months since this all took place. It's weird to read about my old stories, because it seems like so many moons ago. Have we had arguments? Absolutely! However, even those are different than they were before, they feel like they are done with better intentions than previous arguments, and we've had significantly better results. Wife has started a graduate program, understood and accepted our religious differences, and has been very supported with my goal of finding a new job and the idea of potentially moving over to Europe for a few years and getting our daughter (and us) a new experience. My wife has been having some medical issues going on, nothing life threatening, but certainly concerning, and I like to think I've been here supporting her 100% and that she knows, and is grateful for this new life we have together. 

NPR (National Public Radio) here in Atlanta, is wanting couples who relationships ended (or improved) during COVID, to just sit down and record themselves talking about where they were, where they are, and how this pandemic assisted in that process, and my Father swears that my wife and I should do this, and we very well may. I think it'd be a great experience for us to relive and remind ourselves how lucky we are for right now, because only months ago our worlds looked a look bleaker.

My father completely recovered, and everyone in my family has been nothing but healthy since. With all the craziness of 2020, it seems like I could argue that my life is better now than ever.

Talk about a good news story.... Really pleased for you mate, hope your relationship continues to grow and become stronger... 

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That is a lovely read Eco - so so happy for you both that things have turned around like that.- and hopefully now a lifetime of happiness awaits!

In other news, I'm in the absolute form of my life. Honestly the Mojo is back, killing the game right now. Feeling very content with life 

On a more serious level - lockdown was the best thing that happened to me. Time to myself, time to refocus and recharge. Work is incredibly busy but really enjoying it and as above just thoroughly enjoying being single, meeting people and everything else. 

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My ex called me the other week, was down from Sydney and she 'missed me, and thought of me every time she was down here' and wanted to catch up for lunch 'somewhere low key like at my place' 
"Mr. Plow" at 25: How the 'Simpsons' Classic Pushed New Boundaries and Helped Cement the Show's Legacy
So that happened

Then, she calls me to ask about where we stand on the drive home, I ask about when shes free for me to come up to her place 
"oh that wouldn't be appropriate, I'm kind of seeing someone"
She texts me every day, for about 2 weeks. I told her a few times I wish she hadn't done that to me under the circumstances and that she needed to pick between me (the best shes gonna get, but lives 2 hours away. Vs some dude who's most remarkable trait is that he lives local and isn't a pain in the ass) if she wanted the honor of my attention, divided or no. 
She skirted around it as much as she could until she called me again, to ask me to MOVE TO FUCKING SYDNEY and I told her to stop calling and messaging me. Fucking thot.

As if I wanna hang my hat on a woman who is a cheater, drama queen and behaves like that at 30. 

BTW @Eco Love your work mate hope it works out long term. 

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2 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

My ex called me the other week, was down from Sydney and she 'missed me, and thought of me every time she was down here' and wanted to catch up for lunch 'somewhere low key like at my place' 
"Mr. Plow" at 25: How the 'Simpsons' Classic Pushed New Boundaries and Helped Cement the Show's Legacy
So that happened

Then, she calls me to ask about where we stand on the drive home, I ask about when shes free for me to come up to her place 
"oh that wouldn't be appropriate, I'm kind of seeing someone"
She texts me every day, for about 2 weeks. I told her a few times I wish she hadn't done that to me under the circumstances and that she needed to pick between me (the best shes gonna get, but lives 2 hours away. Vs some dude who's most remarkable trait is that he lives local and isn't a pain in the ass) if she wanted the honor of my attention, divided or no. 
She skirted around it as much as she could until she called me again, to ask me to MOVE TO FUCKING SYDNEY and I told her to stop calling and messaging me. Fucking thot.

As if I wanna hang my hat on a woman who is a cheater, drama queen and behaves like that at 30. 

BTW @Eco Love your work mate hope it works out long term. 

What happen to your Fin? 

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12 hours ago, Storts said:

That is a lovely read Eco - so so happy for you both that things have turned around like that.- and hopefully now a lifetime of happiness awaits!

In other news, I'm in the absolute form of my life. Honestly the Mojo is back, killing the game right now. Feeling very content with life 

On a more serious level - lockdown was the best thing that happened to me. Time to myself, time to refocus and recharge. Work is incredibly busy but really enjoying it and as above just thoroughly enjoying being single, meeting people and everything else. 

That's awesome to hear mate. Great to hear you're doing well in the work department as well

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On 12/09/2020 at 07:15, Devil-Dick Willie said:

My ex called me the other week, was down from Sydney and she 'missed me, and thought of me every time she was down here' and wanted to catch up for lunch 'somewhere low key like at my place' 
"Mr. Plow" at 25: How the 'Simpsons' Classic Pushed New Boundaries and Helped Cement the Show's Legacy
So that happened

Then, she calls me to ask about where we stand on the drive home, I ask about when shes free for me to come up to her place 
"oh that wouldn't be appropriate, I'm kind of seeing someone"
She texts me every day, for about 2 weeks. I told her a few times I wish she hadn't done that to me under the circumstances and that she needed to pick between me (the best shes gonna get, but lives 2 hours away. Vs some dude who's most remarkable trait is that he lives local and isn't a pain in the ass) if she wanted the honor of my attention, divided or no. 
She skirted around it as much as she could until she called me again, to ask me to MOVE TO FUCKING SYDNEY and I told her to stop calling and messaging me. Fucking thot.

As if I wanna hang my hat on a woman who is a cheater, drama queen and behaves like that at 30. 

BTW @Eco Love your work mate hope it works out long term. 

An ex is an ex for a reason. 

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On 12/09/2020 at 00:15, Devil-Dick Willie said:

My ex called me the other week, was down from Sydney and she 'missed me, and thought of me every time she was down here' and wanted to catch up for lunch 'somewhere low key like at my place' 
"Mr. Plow" at 25: How the 'Simpsons' Classic Pushed New Boundaries and Helped Cement the Show's Legacy
So that happened

Then, she calls me to ask about where we stand on the drive home, I ask about when shes free for me to come up to her place 
"oh that wouldn't be appropriate, I'm kind of seeing someone"
She texts me every day, for about 2 weeks. I told her a few times I wish she hadn't done that to me under the circumstances and that she needed to pick between me (the best shes gonna get, but lives 2 hours away. Vs some dude who's most remarkable trait is that he lives local and isn't a pain in the ass) if she wanted the honor of my attention, divided or no. 
She skirted around it as much as she could until she called me again, to ask me to MOVE TO FUCKING SYDNEY and I told her to stop calling and messaging me. Fucking thot.

As if I wanna hang my hat on a woman who is a cheater, drama queen and behaves like that at 30. 

BTW @Eco Love your work mate hope it works out long term. 

About time you settled down isn't it.... find a nice girl and move in together and get matching jimmy jams... you could avoid all this trouble

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13 minutes ago, Bluewolf said:

About time you settled down isn't it.... find a nice girl and move in together and get matching jimmy jams... you could avoid all this trouble

Hey grandpa, I’m looking at buying a house with my gf. Adulting is finally happening. 

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1 hour ago, Bluewolf said:

About time you settled down isn't it.... find a nice girl and move in together and get matching jimmy jams... you could avoid all this trouble

I can never find one bro. I'm still very early on at uni, despite being 27. I don't seem to attract nice women who have their shit together. I think Pilvi, my Finnish backpacker friend was the highest quality human I've dated in years. 

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24 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I can never find one bro. I'm still very early on at uni, despite being 27. I don't seem to attract nice women who have their shit together. I think Pilvi, my Finnish backpacker friend was the highest quality human I've dated in years. 

Get your Fin back, or at least try to. 

Otherwise you could regret it for years..

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Just now, Bluewolf said:

Some people take ages before they find the right one.... until then might as well enjoy life

Very true. I was 24 when I met my wife, but I have friends who just got married, are extremely happy, and are in their mid-30's

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1 minute ago, Eco said:

Fuck that perhaps bull shit. You aren't a pussy so don't start acting like one now. If she means that much to you, you better fight like a pit bull 

Thats why I said perhaps. I said she was a nice, stable and interesting girl, refreshing to spend time with. Not the love of my life.

However, I am probably far too "go with the flow" in relationships or dating in general. I've never "fought for" anyone. 

Many years ago, I had a casual relationship with a co worker, and everyone knew it. One day, as we were working together I asked if she would come over that night she said "nah I didn't bring a change of clothes" I said she could wear mine, and she laughed. We were about the same height, and both about the same weight, but she had enormous knockers. I said I had some baggier shirts that I don't wear and she got mega offended, cold shouldered me the rest of the day. I had done nothing wrong, but offered apology, which she was in no mood to take at the time. 

The HR manager who was also a woman saw us and pulled me into her office. 
"whats wrong with Jess today"
I explained to her the situation. 
"Daniel you're going to spend your whole life apologizing to women for things that weren't offensive"

On that day a good 5 years ago I decided I most certainly would NOT be manipulated by womens insecurities into being a pet. So my response to adversity in relationships now is generally to tell them to fuck off (more politely than that though) 
Start a fight over nothing? Fuck off.
Do some petty bullshit to annoy me? Fuck off.  
The people I date start with very little good will, and generally burn it up within a couple of weeks/months. The result is many short flings with low value humans. 


The reason I stopped seeing Cate (the ex from my recent story) was because she asked me to cancel other plans to see her, than canceled our plans to see each other one week, putting herself on super thin ice, then the very next week drunk messaged me that she was one place and that I should get out of bed and come, then when I arrived I found she had gone somewhere else, but wanted me to go there too and laughed at me for rocking up at the wrong place. I banished that thot to the shadow realm the very next morning (as a personal rule, I don't make decisions in the heat of a moment) She argued that it was a joke, and that it wasn't a big deal (riding a motorcycle in the rain is always a cunt, but she wouldn't know) but never apologized, so I ditched. :what:

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3 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Thats why I said perhaps. I said she was a nice, stable and interesting girl, refreshing to spend time with. Not the love of my life.

However, I am probably far too "go with the flow" in relationships or dating in general. I've never "fought for" anyone. 

Many years ago, I had a casual relationship with a co worker, and everyone knew it. One day, as we were working together I asked if she would come over that night she said "nah I didn't bring a change of clothes" I said she could wear mine, and she laughed. We were about the same height, and both about the same weight, but she had enormous knockers. I said I had some baggier shirts that I don't wear and she got mega offended, cold shouldered me the rest of the day. I had done nothing wrong, but offered apology, which she was in no mood to take at the time. 

The HR manager who was also a woman saw us and pulled me into her office. 
"whats wrong with Jess today"
I explained to her the situation. 
"Daniel you're going to spend your whole life apologizing to women for things that weren't offensive"

On that day a good 5 years ago I decided I most certainly would NOT be manipulated by womens insecurities into being a pet. So my response to adversity in relationships now is generally to tell them to fuck off (more politely than that though) 
Start a fight over nothing? Fuck off.
Do some petty bullshit to annoy me? Fuck off.  
The people I date start with very little good will, and generally burn it up within a couple of weeks/months. The result is many short flings with low value humans. 


The reason I stopped seeing Cate (the ex from my recent story) was because she asked me to cancel other plans to see her, than canceled our plans to see each other one week, putting herself on super thin ice, then the very next week drunk messaged me that she was one place and that I should get out of bed and come, then when I arrived I found she had gone somewhere else, but wanted me to go there too and laughed at me for rocking up at the wrong place. I banished that thot to the shadow realm the very next morning (as a personal rule, I don't make decisions in the heat of a moment) She argued that it was a joke, and that it wasn't a big deal (riding a motorcycle in the rain is always a cunt, but she wouldn't know) but never apologized, so I ditched. :what:

I understand what you mean, and I would only add that people, by nature, get their feelings hurt for the strangest fucking reasons, and do the stupidest shit in the world...

I have probably 5-6 stories from my wife and I's past that were truly awful moments, but for some reason, I stayed and kept working on it...something I certainly wouldn't have done in the past. 

Be you, take care of yourself, and just be willing to be a bit lenient with your dates as they may be nervous or something, and that can sometimes lead to them doing really obscure things. 

If you don't think the Fin was someone you'd honestly be seeing yourself with for the rest of your life, and best to not follow my advice and just live your fucking life (and ignore your ex)

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4 hours ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Thats why I said perhaps. I said she was a nice, stable and interesting girl, refreshing to spend time with. Not the love of my life.

However, I am probably far too "go with the flow" in relationships or dating in general. I've never "fought for" anyone. 

Many years ago, I had a casual relationship with a co worker, and everyone knew it. One day, as we were working together I asked if she would come over that night she said "nah I didn't bring a change of clothes" I said she could wear mine, and she laughed. We were about the same height, and both about the same weight, but she had enormous knockers. I said I had some baggier shirts that I don't wear and she got mega offended, cold shouldered me the rest of the day. I had done nothing wrong, but offered apology, which she was in no mood to take at the time. 

The HR manager who was also a woman saw us and pulled me into her office. 
"whats wrong with Jess today"
I explained to her the situation. 
"Daniel you're going to spend your whole life apologizing to women for things that weren't offensive"

On that day a good 5 years ago I decided I most certainly would NOT be manipulated by womens insecurities into being a pet. So my response to adversity in relationships now is generally to tell them to fuck off (more politely than that though) 
Start a fight over nothing? Fuck off.
Do some petty bullshit to annoy me? Fuck off.  
The people I date start with very little good will, and generally burn it up within a couple of weeks/months. The result is many short flings with low value humans. 


The reason I stopped seeing Cate (the ex from my recent story) was because she asked me to cancel other plans to see her, than canceled our plans to see each other one week, putting herself on super thin ice, then the very next week drunk messaged me that she was one place and that I should get out of bed and come, then when I arrived I found she had gone somewhere else, but wanted me to go there too and laughed at me for rocking up at the wrong place. I banished that thot to the shadow realm the very next morning (as a personal rule, I don't make decisions in the heat of a moment) She argued that it was a joke, and that it wasn't a big deal (riding a motorcycle in the rain is always a cunt, but she wouldn't know) but never apologized, so I ditched. :what:

Interesting stuff.... I used to be the exact same way when I was in my teens when it came to girls, I never did anything horrible or anything when we split but just never had time for all the drama that went with it so I was happy enough to move on pretty sharpish with no hang up's... it was very much a case of 'there are plenty more fish in the sea' type situation as far as I was concerned.. 

I did have one memorable moment I will never forget when I used to work for a shop called Bishops back in the day ( @CaaC (John) might remember them ) and back then playing the field and all that I had 3 girls on the go at the same time... like you nothing serious just a bit of fun, a few drinks, cinema or whatever and try and get lucky at the end of the night if possible and one Friday night I was out with my mates and these 3 girls all ended up at a local party and through a twist of fate a couple of them were chatting to another girl and talking about boyfriends and my name cropped up.. you can imagine their massive surprise to find out they all had the same fella on the go... xD

Anyway, the following morning ( which I might add used to be my lay in day ) the phone starts ringing downstairs really early and my old man shouts up it's for me so I had to drag myself out of bed go down and answer it still half asleep with a lingering headache from the night before ( no mobiles back in them days ) When I pick the phone up it's one of these girls and she starts yelling down the phone and tells me she has found out that I have been cheating on her and I am getting my arse dumped then hangs up!! the call lasted about 10 seconds.. So, no problem I was just glad to be getting myself back under the covers.. 10 minutes later the phone starts going again and the old man shouts back up it's for me again... back down I go again and it's one of these other girls who tells me I am dumped and her older brother is going to beat me up blah blah blah... Party last night blah, blah, blah.. Horrible bastard blah, blah, blah and all that and then hangs up!! 

Obviously despite my tired and slightly hungover state I am now starting to put the pieces together of this sudden mystery double dumping  puzzle and kind of suss what's happened.. anyway, off back to bed until about 15 minutes later when the phone goes again!!!... The old man has the right arse by now and I am not far behind, I needed my sleep man not all this piss balling about... so I pick the phone up and as soon as I hear the third ones squeeky voice I just hung up on her.. I told the old man if anyone else calls tell them I killed myself because some girl dumped me..  You never know one or two of them might come rushing around feeling guilty... 

I will admit that going from 3 to 0 girlfriends in the one sitting was a bit of a set back , I wasn't used to taking so many hits in one go and back in them days I could usually talk at least one of them round and limit the damage but this was a deliberate attempt by them to emotionally carpet bomb me to try and teach me a lesson...  Work was a bit tense for a while I will admit as they clubbed together to try and warn other girls off me and all that but lucky for me my smoothy charm and cheeky smile was a bit much for some girls to resist so normal service was soon resumed..  Thing is for me it was just a bit of fun, a laugh and all that but they seem to go into it on a multi platform emotional level I just didn't understand.. If they wanted to see other people then fine, I am not going to lose my shit over it.. xD

They did teach me a very important lesson though... If seeing more than one girl at a time make sure they don't work in the same place or live in the same area B| 

By the way, if you made that comment about a woman in the workplace these days it would probably turn into a full investigation/suspension for you.. xD

 

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7 hours ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I'm sure I'll tell Pilvi I want to see her again, but whether she comes back to Wollongong or not will likely have little to do with little old me. I just have to hope I get more luck and more time. 

When you do, perhaps don't use the @Azeem technique. More than a 'Hi' needs to happen.

 

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