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Harvsky

Mourinho or Klopp? Who Would You Rather Have As Manager?

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I haven't got the pace to play for Klopp whilst I have half a chance playing for Man United at the minute so I'll choose Jose.

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Can't be arsed in even comparing the two of them, Jose has won trophies where ever he managed yet Klopp won trophies at Dortmund and nothing in the EPL...yet. 

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Hahaha

Depends if you're dead or alive to be honest.

If you're dead...

Then you're gonna be this way for a considerable amount of time one would say, which means it won't take long for one to get very accustomed to resisting and appreciating boredom.

For those dead fans (sorry if this is controversial or insensitive), Mourinho would be the ideal appointment as coach for the club you once used to visit on a regular basis or tune-into on your TV set (or watch on a saturated and pixilated internet stream that's calling itself LIVE but is running 4 hours behind).

 

If, on the otherhand you're alive...

Then I am pretty sure you will be alot more demanding and susceptible to requiring things move a whole lot quicker because let's be frank... Time is valuable as you haven't got the rest of eternity to wait for something interesting to occur.  Existing amongst the living also means that contrary to being dead where you can just haunt someone's living room and take advantage of their sacrifices to pay for subscription tv where you can get it for free (while also benefitting from being a professional voyeur and never being caught as another of the perks for being stone cold), or just float merilly to the stadium, bump your way through the queues to get in (actually become a member of the queue if you're a British ghost because we looove queues).

The living have to pay and consumerism is a very demanding phenomenon and way of living which means if you want all the perks...  value for money, quality and of course visual stimulation, then Klopp has to be your man by comparison.

Also have to add that necrophiliacs, who apparently exist amongst us (the living) will probably be the only existing entities that could be into a bit of Mourinho football on their spare time away from hanging around morgues or cemeteries (graveyard for our more British reader).

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Dead or alive? You spin me right round balon right round like a record balon right round round round

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33 minutes ago, SirBalon said:

Hahaha

Depends if you're dead or alive to be honest.

If you're dead...

Then you're gonna be this way for a considerable amount of time one would say, which means it won't take long for one to get very accustomed to resisting and appreciating boredom.

For those dead fans (sorry if this is controversial or insensitive), Mourinho would be the ideal appointment as coach for the club you once used to visit on a regular basis or tune-into on your TV set (or watch on a saturated and pixilated internet stream that's calling itself LIVE but is running 4 hours behind).

 

If, on the otherhand you're alive...

Then I am pretty sure you will be alot more demanding and susceptible to requiring things move a whole lot quicker because let's be frank... Time is valuable as you haven't got the rest of eternity to wait for something interesting to occur.  Existing amongst the living also means that contrary to being dead where you can just haunt someone's living room and take advantage of their sacrifices to pay for subscription tv where you can get it for free (while also benefitting from being a professional voyeur and never being caught as another of the perks for being stone cold), or just float merilly to the stadium, bump your way through the queues to get in (actually become a member of the queue if you're a British ghost because we looove queues).

The living have to pay and consumerism is a very demanding phenomenon and way of living which means if you want all the perks...  value for money, quality and of course visual stimulation, then Klopp has to be your man by comparison.

Also have to add that necrophiliacs, who apparently exist amongst us (the living) will probably be the only existing entities that could be into a bit of Mourinho football on their spare time away from hanging around morgues or cemeteries (graveyard for our more British reader).

What is this even about? 

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50 minutes ago, CaaC - John said:

Can't be arsed in even comparing the two of them, Jose has won trophies where ever he managed yet Klopp won trophies at Dortmund and nothing in the EPL...yet. 

Mourinho has been more successful over his career. But he seems to have lost it now. Klopp is doing better in my opinion

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48 minutes ago, SirBalon said:

Hahaha

Depends if you're dead or alive to be honest.

If you're dead...

Then you're gonna be this way for a considerable amount of time one would say, which means it won't take long for one to get very accustomed to resisting and appreciating boredom.

For those dead fans (sorry if this is controversial or insensitive), Mourinho would be the ideal appointment as coach for the club you once used to visit on a regular basis or tune-into on your TV set (or watch on a saturated and pixilated internet stream that's calling itself LIVE but is running 4 hours behind).

 

If, on the otherhand you're alive...

Then I am pretty sure you will be alot more demanding and susceptible to requiring things move a whole lot quicker because let's be frank... Time is valuable as you haven't got the rest of eternity to wait for something interesting to occur.  Existing amongst the living also means that contrary to being dead where you can just haunt someone's living room and take advantage of their sacrifices to pay for subscription tv where you can get it for free (while also benefitting from being a professional voyeur and never being caught as another of the perks for being stone cold), or just float merilly to the stadium, bump your way through the queues to get in (actually become a member of the queue if you're a British ghost because we looove queues).

The living have to pay and consumerism is a very demanding phenomenon and way of living which means if you want all the perks...  value for money, quality and of course visual stimulation, then Klopp has to be your man by comparison.

Also have to add that necrophiliacs, who apparently exist amongst us (the living) will probably be the only existing entities that could be into a bit of Mourinho football on their spare time away from hanging around morgues or cemeteries (graveyard for our more British reader).

Only you could make that post. Brilliant xD

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5 minutes ago, Gunnersauraus said:

Mourinho has been more successful over his career. But he seems to have lost it now. Klopp is doing better in my opinion

This sums it up. People who point to past successes as evidence of Mourinho being a better current manager are retarded. BUT let's not ignore the fact that people using the last 2-3 years of Mourinho struggling as evidence that he was never any good aren't equally retarded. Mourinho is a cunt no doubt but the way some people shamelessly and rabidly writhe in pleasure all over every poor result for Jose like a homeless man who stumbled across a bathtub full of cash doesn't really prove their point, just their bitterness about the man's success over the last two decades.

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Just now, RandoEFC said:

This sums it up. People who point to past successes as evidence of Mourinho being a better current manager are retarded. BUT let's not ignore the fact that people using the last 2-3 years of Mourinho struggling as evidence that he was never any good aren't equally retarded. Mourinho is a cunt no doubt but the way some people shamelessly and rabidly writhe in pleasure all over every poor result for Jose like a homeless man who stumbled across a bathtub full of cash doesn't really prove their point, just their bitterness about the man's success over the last two decades.

Absolutety mourinho was a top coach. Football fans aren't known for being rational ;)

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32 minutes ago, The Artful Dodger said:

What is this even about? 

Being dead or alive.

One would say it's quite appropriate for a Mourinho versus Klopp debate. :ph34r::what:

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Klopp. Not a fan of Jose's management these days. I don't fancy being thrown under the bus either collectively or individually just because everything isn't perfect 100% of the time. 

Plus Klopp gives hugs. 

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Klopp although that isn't much praise really. I'd rather throw Allardyce back into the mix than take on Jose who will fundamentally break the club within three years.

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10 minutes ago, Cicero said:

Prime Mourinho 

Is that  another Amazon way of getting more cash out of us? :ph34r:

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16 minutes ago, Harry said:

Jose cannot inspire the troops. 

I don't think he could inspire someone with diarrhea to have a shit at the minute

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4 hours ago, Gunnersauraus said:

I don't think he could inspire someone with diarrhea to have a shit at the minute

If you needed an exciting failure of a shit, Klopp

If you needed an unexciting but possibly gets the job done shit, Mourinho. Warning, he may insult your ass or purchase 3 new ones as the shit progresses though. 

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11 minutes ago, Faithcore said:

I don't understand anyone who would want Mourinho as a coach for his team. 

3f45748d24cd2d54f4e8ddd18b5fe6e8--dead-b

:ph34r:

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If I wanted to build a young squad that can punch above its weight financially: Klopp.

If I wanted a manager who can organise world class players and make them into a solid collective unit: ... also Klopp.

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This highlights what we already knew in most respects  that klopp needs to win some trophies to cut off some of these criticisms.

But ffs he makes the football fun and to me that's the most important thing. To be on the edge of my seat. 

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