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Rude responses to "What's up?"

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A very annoying friend of mine wont stop messaging me whenever she seen me online, and always asks the same damn question.


"Whats up?"


I have tried the standard answers (nothing, work, stuff etc) I've tried the funny answers (prices, sky, Blood Pressure), I've tried the literal answer (taken a pic of the article I was reading and sent) and all that.

But she wont stop asking the same damn question.


So now I want you to give me a list of the rudest reply y'all can come with, so that, hopefully, she wont message me again.

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You know this person better than us, so will have a better inkling as to what is most likely to drive her away....

What’s Up?

A) ”This annoying friend.... up in my face!

B) “My erection. I’d like us to  meet up and have sex”

C) Donald Trumps approval rating, and I’m on board for 2020!

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14 minutes ago, Rab said:



1. towards a higher place or position. "he jumped up"

2. at or to a higher level of intensity, volume, or activity. "she turned the volume up"

What's "up"? 

Like she's querying the meaning of the word. Very witty retort.

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Urban dictionary....
What's up
An extremely annoying question that has (unfortunately) replaced "Hello" or "Hi" as the most popular form of casual greeting. For full effect, best delivered while walking past someone at about 90 m.p.h. so the person you're talking to has no time to respond, and in a tone that suggests you really don't give a shit about "what's up" with them.
Dude #1: "Hey, man. What's up?" 
Dude #2: "Uh..." (what he managed to get out before Dude #1 was already too far away to hear the rest of what he was going to say)
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1 minute ago, AMG said:



Maybe it's just me but I don't think you are friends if you find her annoying, don't want to talk to her, and consider being rude just so she would stop messaging you xD 

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I don't feel annoyed by my friends, mostly because I don't make friends with annoying people. If I am ever annoyed by one of them, I'm probably gonna jokingly tell them "jeez, what do you want this time you absolute pain in the ass". I don't think it's true friendship if you have this sort of problem with them.

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1 minute ago, Marc said:

‘Not sure, I’m seeking advice on a football forum’


Considering the fact that football fans are, in general, considered to be rude and obnoxious, I see nothing wrong here.

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