Burning Gold

That's why I only said they'd do mate. Obviously we'd like a top keeper, but that clearly isn't happening. That's extremely vivid I wouldn't worry, there's no way the Coutinho deal is going through.

He's cut the big errors out of his game (although there was that moment against Hoffenheim I referred to) but he remains a fairly poor shot stopper, organiser, distributor, etc., so his inadequacy goes under the radar a little these days. Unfortunately, Karius doesn't seem much better, and I fear his signing was a wasted opportunity. Obviously as good a goalkeeper as we could get, but someone like Schmeichel or Fraser Forster would do. Ultimately, though, it's pointless to speculate because, as MadLad's catchphrase goes, Klopp's happy with our goalkeeping options.

To be fair, they are shit. Mignolet did well last season, but he had a very hairy moment in the Hoffenheim game yesterday when he flapped at a cross and then dropped the recovery. If he goes back to the form of every season except the last one, I am going to shit a chicken.

Absolutely. We haven't had a proper Champions' League campaign for nearly a decade and I sorely miss it. Could also do with getting our coefficient up because we got very lucky with the group draw this time around.

You are rattled as fuck aren't you

I can't see Vorm and Lloris both getting injured by mid-December, to be honest.

Jesus Christ

Yep, a coincidence is exactly what it is. He hasn't been totally ruled out either, in fact he's in the squad for the Hoffenheim tie, so the club expects him to at least be fit for the second leg.

What more could we have done mate? The nonsense, baseless stories from Spanish and Brazilian sources were inevitable because it's a big story and it was in Barcelona's interest to stir the pot. There'll probably be a few more between now and the end of the window; can't stop them printing whatever they want.

Paul Joyce has an article in The Times today, again saying we're not selling Coutinho and that club officials are baffled by reports that the deal is done or that there's a Barcelona delegation coming to agree it. Nothing we didn't already know. However, the lede that he buried in that story is that Coutinho's a doubt for both the Watford and Hoffenheim matches next week. All of a sudden we look quite thin in midfield. Wijnaldum, Henderson and Can we can trust, but I'm a little concerned about the rest.

I'm not too upset about that. Obviously I wanted Keita because he's quality and Klopp clearly wants him, but I don't think we really needed another midfielder. A centre back is absolutely vital, though. Moreno staying doesn't really matter. Hopefully he won't play much (at all?) in serious competitive football, but he's not a nasty guy who's going to cause problems in the dressing room and we don't need to sell him for funds or anything like that.

Absolutely pathetic small club behaviour

I don't think it's bedwetting time just yet. Unless Daniel Sturridge is the player in question, 'up to 4 months' usually means 2 or 3 (in fact, more reliable journalists have said three months is the worst case scenario). In the mean time, we've got Can, Coutinho, Henderson and Wijnaldum for three midfield places, as well as the likes of Milner and Grujic who can play a few minutes as and when. That said, I wonder if this news will push us to go back in for Oxlade-Chamberlain.

Y'know, I usually hate the 'PC Snowflake' nonsense, and I hate that they've got a female Dr Who now even though I only watch one or two episodes a year, but I've got to put a word in for Elementary and Joan Watson. I personally thought it was excellent and far superior to BBC Sherlock in every way. Having a female Watson actually adds something to the show and she's a complex, well-written character, not just an excuse for the writers to pat themselves on the back for being so progressive. I don't know about James Bond, but there's already a female Sherlock Holmes. She's called Miss Marple. Why do these 'progressive' knobs have to hijack something that's already been made and contradict the source material instead of creating their own characters and letting them succeed or fail on their own merit I actually disagree with Cannabis about Idris Elba; I think he'd be a good Bond. I understand the concerns about departure from canon, but Bond has always evolved, and is it so unbelievable that a British man would be black? In fact, I was looking at all the bookies' favourites the other day and he'd be my favourite of the lot. That said, it's very rare that I watch a Bond film, so I'm hardly the target audience.

All strikers are direct and I don't think he's that quick at all for his position. We've had this conversation before The other thing is that he won't fare well being a cog like Giroud does. So you have to ask whether he's good enough to be the main man (not for me) and whether this means Sanchez is off.

Giroud probably does fit the system better, but that's because he's got more about his game. Lacazette's a good finisher and nothing else and I just don't think that's enough at this level. No mate, Ronaldo is why France lost that game

Why can't he get in the France team ahead of Giroud then?

£60m for a downgrade on Giroud. Jesus.

Completely. Only a suspicion but he ticks a few boxes.

Are you talking about the over the top celebrating? I'm pretty sure he's autistic or something; there's no malice in it.

Can't believe we're talking about Gordon Ramsay without mentioning Amy's Baking Company. Clear your diary and watch this. It's incredible

That's all I wanted

It was a poorly thought out joke about Argentina being a third world country. It's been a long day

To be fair, I probably wouldn't risk it if I lived in Argentina either. Duck/Lamb Beef The other ones I also recommend everyone try a buffalo burger if you get the chance. It's like beef but better

I wonder how many bites Teso will get this summer