Dear Everton Football Club. Please can you stop purchasing players that West Ham United Football Club are showing an interest in. Between you [and possibly Leicester] we won't end up with any of the players that we want which is just not fair. If you are interested in more purchases though then please feel free to take some of the shit, sorry, I obviously meant top class players that we are trying to shove out of the door. Sorry again, I meant that we would dearly love to keep but just wouldn't be too dissapointed in seeing gone [we would be happy to pay their travel expenses to medical and signing].
My sincerest thanks in advance.
Ron