Yeah - it's just something I've always done, and done well at. I was never trying to make the Olympics or anything, but I was certainly top 30% of runners in my age group.
Today was different. I couldn't focus, couldn't find my grove, and my mind just went to all the places and areas in my life in which I have failed myself, people I've hurt, and terrible mistakes I've made. Running usually brings me immense joy and I can usually solve problems, so have great ideas when I'm out there just running, but today was fucking dark, and it got to me big time.