Stan

How?

yep, lubed up and ready to go. It's gonna be a procession for you. Easiest game of your season. We have no game plan, show a serious lack of endeavour when attacking, best players aren't being played and Cooper's in-game management is horrible in terms of subs too late or the wrong players being taken off. We start games slow because our players won't be 'ready'. We just don't have much about us. At most we may have a 10-15 minute spell where we look like we could play like a professional team in the Premier League, but you should be winning this at an absolute canter and boosting your goal difference somewhat. I see no evidence as to why it may be tougher than first thought. Probably be about 3-0 or 4-0 at half-time, then you may take your foot off the gas before we're blowing out of our arses and you can bring on decent subs to score a couple more. Saka or Havertz or even one of the defenders triple-captain in FPL is worth a shot.

all kick-offs BST Friday 27th September, 2024 Valladolid vs Mallorca, 20.00 Saturday 28th September, 2024 Getafe vs Alaves, 13.00 Rayo Vallecano vs Leganes, 15.15 Real Sociedad vs Valencia, 17.30 Osasuna vs Barcelona, 20.00 Sunday 29th September, 2024 Celta Vigo vs Girona, 13.00 Athletic Club vs Sevilla, 15.15 Real Betis vs Espanyol, 17.30 Atletico Madrid vs Real Madrid, 20.00 Monday 30th September, 2024 Villarreal vs Las Palmas, 20.00

all kick-offs 14.30 (BST) Friday 27th September, 2024 Borussia Dortmund vs Bochum, 19.30 Saturday 28th September, 2024 Borussia Monchengladbach vs Union Berlin Freiburg vs St Pauli Mainz vs Heidenheim RB Leipzig vs Augsburg Wolfsburg vs Stuttgart Bayern Munich vs Bayer Leverkusen, 17.30 Sunday 29th September, 2024 Holstein Kiel vs Eintracht Frankfurt Hoffenheim vs Werder Bremen, 16.30

all kick-offs 15.00 (BST) unless stated Saturday 28th September, 2024 Newcastle vs Man City, 12.30 (live on TNT) Arsenal vs Leicester Brentford vs West Ham Chelsea vs Brighton Everton vs Crystal Palace Nottm Forest vs Fulham Wolves vs Liverpool, 17.30 (live on Sky) Sunday 29th September, 2024 Ipswich vs Aston Villa, 14.00 (live on Sky) Man Utd vs Tottenham, 16.30 (live on Sky) Monday 30th September, 2024 Bournemouth vs Southampton

all kick-offs 15.00 (BST) unless stated Friday 27th September, 2024 Plymouth vs Luton, 20.00 Saturday 28th September, 2024 Blackburn vs QPR, 12.30 Derby vs Norwich, 12.30 Sheff Weds vs West Brom, 12.30 Hull vs Cardiff Leeds vs Coventry Middlesbrough vs Stoke Millwall vs Preston Oxford vs Burnley Portsmouth vs Sheff Utd Watford vs Sunderland Sunday 29th September, 2024 Swansea vs Bristol City Saturday 28th September, 2024 Crawley vs Bolton, 12.30 Reading vs Huddersfield, 12.30 Birmingham vs Peterborough Blackpool vs Burton Bristol Rovers vs Wycombe Cambridge vs Lincoln Leyton Orient vs Wrexham Northampton vs Mansfield Shrewsbury vs Rotherham Stevenage vs Charlton Wigan vs Exeter Barnsley vs Stockport, 19.45 Friday 27th September, 2024 Tranmere vs Salford, 19.45 Saturday 28th September, 2024 Harrogate vs Bradford, 12.30 Walsall vs Colchester, 12.30 AFC Wimbledon P-P Accrington Stanley Bromley vs MK Dons Carlisle vs Grimsby Cheltenham vs Fleetwood Doncaster vs Chesterfield Gillingham vs Barrow Morecambe vs Notts County Newport vs Crewe Port Vale vs Swindon

Brentford vs Sheff Weds Southampton vs Stoke Tottenham vs Man City Newcastle/AFC Wimbledon vs Chelsea Man Utd vs Leicester Brighton vs Liverpool Preston vs Arsenal Aston Villa vs Crystal Palace

1 Aston Villa 2 Brentford 3 Brighton & Hove Albion 4 Chelsea 5 Crystal Palace 6 Leicester City 7 Manchester City 8 Manchester United 9 Preston North End 10 Sheffield Wednesday 11 Southampton 12 Stoke City 13 Tottenham Hotspur 14 Arsenal 15 Liverpool 16 AFC Wimbledon or Newcastle United

Me neither but you'll have an easier ride on Saturday than you do tonight

Varane has retired due to injury.

75 minutes gone and no shots on target from us against Walsall. Embarrassing.

The first rule of fantasy Bundesliga is it must be spoken about upon request.

How's everyone doing? I'm 10th in our league, 537pts behind the 1000pts behind the leader.

Furth 1-2 Dusseldorf Ulm 1-2 Braunschweig Darmstadt 2-1 Magdeburg Hamburg 2-2 Magdeburg Regensburg 1-1 Lautern Munster 1-4 Schalke Koln 2-0 Karlsruhe Hannover 1-0 Nurnberg Hertha Berlin 4-1 Elversberg

Dortmund 4-0 Bochum RB Leipzig 2-0 Augsburg Freiburg 3-0 St Pauli Wolfsburg 1-3 Stuttgart Mainz 2-0 Heidenheim Gladbach 2-2 Union Bayern 3-2 Leverkusen Kiel 1-4 Frankfurt Hoffenheim 3-1 Bremen

Saturday Newcastle 2-3 Man City Arsenal 6-0 Leicester Brentford 3-2 West Ham Chelsea 2-1 Brighton Everton 1-1 Crystal Palace Nottm Forest 1-2 Fulham Wolves 1-3 Liverpool Sunday Ipswich 1-3 Aston Villa Man Utd 1-0 Tottenham Monday Bournemouth 2-0 Southampton

Reminder @Tommy @Bluebird Hewitt @Viva la FCB @nawoo @Rucksackfranzose @Coma @Spike @Pyfish @6666

Saturday Motherwell 2-0 St Mirren Oxford 0-2 Burnley Bologna 1-0 Atalanta Monaco 3-1 Montpellier Sunday New York RB 2-1 New York City Aston Villa Women 1-2 Tottenham Women AZ Alkmaar 2-0 Utrecht Atletico Madrid 1-3 Real Madrid Sao Paulo 1-0 Corinthians Benfica 3-0 Gil Vicente

Can be a knobhead and still be funny to be fair

Classic case of grooming and coercion.

all kick-offs 20.00 (BST) unless stated Wednesday 24th September, 2024 AZ Alkmaar vs Elfsborg, 17.45 Bodo/Glimt vs Porto, 17.45 Anderlecht vs Ferencvaros Dynamo Kiev vs Lazio Galatasaray vs PAOK Ludogorets vs Slavia Prague Man Utd vs Twente Midtjylland vs Hoffenheim Nice vs Real Sociedad Thursday 25th September, 2024 Fenerbahce vs Union S-G, 17.45 Malmo vs Rangers, 17.45 Ajax vs Besiktas Frankfurt vs Viktoria Plzen FC Steaua vs Rigas FS Lyon vs Olympiacos Roma vs Athletic Club Sporting Braga vs Maccabi Tel Aviv Tottenham vs Qarabag

What's the Bieber stuff?

I know. But I don't think throwing a ball at someone's head, not even that hard, warrants 'excessively violent conduct'!!

No it isn't It's a ball. The players head the ball ffs Don't make it out to be something it isn't man ffs.

These days listening to commentary takes a back seat when looking after the little one and all the noisy toys around VAR only reviews straight reds, so I don't know if they would have actually changed Trossard's red card. It was a double-yellow offence, and either the push on Silva or the kicking the ball away would have only been a yellow in itself.