Dr. Gonzo

I dunno about rhinos, but I think hippos are quite quick from the off but they can't keep up a full sprint for too long.

Silverback Gorilla Pronghorn Antellope - Rhino - Wildebeast- Lion Horse Hippo - Hare Cheetah - Ostrich - Blackbuck Antellope I've gone with land animals - to avoid any complications with taking any animals that live in the water being on a football pitch and dying because they can't breathe. Outside of the goalkeeper gorilla, I've mostly gone with speedy animals - focusing on trying to have a central core of my team that is both quick and strong. The Silverback Gorrilla is there there because he's a big fuck off beast, and silverback gorillas have incredible reaction times and are really good at catching things. Also RIP Harambe. Pronghorn Antellope are amongst the fastest land animals on the planet - so that right flank with Cheetah & Pronghorn Antellope is an absolute nightmare for the opposition. Similar, but a bit slower, on the left flank with Lion at left back (didn't want to have 2 antellopes playing fullback as that seemed a bit lightweight for a defense, and the King of the Jungle seems more defensive minded than a Cheetah imo. I've got Rhino in at CB because that's about as close as you get to a land animal that's an absolute tank. He's paired with Wildebeast, who's got substantial size and strenght as well... but a much faster recovery pace than rhinos (who aren't slow either) - so he's key for dealing with counterattacks and that rounds off what I think is a very solid animal kingdom back 4. We're not doing any back 3s because I don't do shit tactics. At DM we've got Horse. Why? Because I want the DM to be a literal workhorse. Just ahead of him is Hippo - he's quick, he's strong, he's aggressive. Between him and Horse, that's a lot of protection for the back 4... but Hippo will also be a key contributor for us having a high press and catching the opposition off guard when their canoes aqre overturned. Acting as the primary link between midfield and attack is Hare. He's not big, he's not strong - but he's small, tricky, and elusively creative - as well as bloody quick and hard to catch. Then my front 3. With the right side, I've gone with Cheetah as he's the fastest land animal and I want him giving the opposition fullbacks absolute hell. Similar idea with the Blackbuck Antellope on the left side. Then in the centre we've got Ostrich - he's awkward looking, but fast and oddly aggressive. And he's got a long neck which I assume is helpful for headers.

Except Jesus is in Islam and about a quarter of Muslims do celebrate Christmas

lol Ghoddos can barely speak Farsi when he says "individual awards" Taremi says "individual? what? Speak Farsi man" - my takeaway from this is that Taremi knows more English than I would have thought he does though

Yeah, no I was thinking of one of the teams that's a lot stronger than Syria. On paper Iran's team is still one of the better Asian sides, it's just the manager is out of his depth imo - no real tactics other than just relying on Taremi and Azmoun. Which tbf can get them pretty far at this level because this level isn't that great.

Hippos can reach a top speed of 48 km/h (over short distances though), and rhinos have a top speed of 55 km/h - so they might be able to cover for cheetahs & leapords overlapping and going forward pretty well. I think the biggest worry about that XI is how are the sharks and dolphins going to fair on a football pitch.

So I'd been wanting Iran to get knocked out ASAP because at the moment Team Melli is just used as propaganda for the shitty government. But seeing that we're playing the UAE, I am pleased to see we beat those dickheads. 3 controversially ruled out goals, so it probably should and could have been 4-1. Iran will go out the second they face someone decent in attack though. This yes-man manager they've put in has no idea what he's doing with this squad defensively.

That's not too surprising, tbh.

I don't think Italy will get this under control unless they do things like points deductions or make the offending supporters club play a number of home games with no fans allowed in their stadium.

Honestly makes me wonder how many West Ham fans were like that weirdo Rio-Choker, acting like West Ham were the biggest club in England and all that.

I honestly can't think of a worse ref than Tierney. Whether he's massively biased or just seriously incompetent, it doesn't matter - he's got no business being a top flight official. The "good process guy" (Hooper?) I think is just emblematic of the state of officiating in the country and a part of the problem of PMGOL being this old boys club that can't hold itself accountable while simultaneously seeming to take issue with any legitimate criticism that's leveled at them. But I think it's a joke, that for half the season they seemed to be saying "alright well even if this type of challenge has no bad intent, we're giving it as a red" only for them to now be arbitrarily saying that challenge wasn't dangerous. And like @Stan says, it's basically nailed on that next week or in a week or two, they'll give a red for the same exact type of challenge.

Wasn’t Antony someone the manager really wanted?

What a finish

Ffs I hope Jones isn’t hurt too badly, he’s having an incredible season.

Is it the “good process” guy? Or Tierney?

Lol kind of funny goal considering that botched first attempt

I’ve seen so many red cards this season for that type of foul where in the motion in real time I’m not sure if it’s a red. But VAR has seemed to give it just for that still. This one I thought looked like a red in real time. Looks like a red in the still. Yet checked and cleared by VAR. I’ll never understand the application of VAR at this rate. Who’s the VAR ref? Or does it no longer matter because they’re all bad?

Get in Diogo

should this have been a red?

I think clubs are writing to them to establish an easy to track paper trail - to me it looks like Forest is trying to build a case for a lawsuit if they go down.

Right now he’s the best option we have for the very important role who’s fit and not playing for their country right now. I agree with you (although when fit and on the pitch I think Trent or Thiago might be better passers) - but there’s a reason he’s playing there now. And earlier in the season when Endo wasn’t looking as good as he was since late November, he was similarly the best healthy option.

The legend returns!

I mean the way he scored… was cheating

Nice, hopefully Japan have an early exit so we get Endo back sooner

@Cicero - https://ftstandssports.blogspot.com/2019/03/the-pornstar-fc-starting-xi.html This man knows nothing about football or wanking, imo.