Well, I suppose I'll update the situation with my back.
Turns out I had two slipped discs. I couldn't get out of bed on my own on the last couple of days leading up to going into A&E. Went in and had an emergency MRI, and it showed that I had two slipped discs and they were pressing on the nerves that control my bladder (I could barely manage a dribble even when pushing till red faced...apologies for that image).
They put me straight in an ambulance and rushed me through to Newcastle Hospital for emergency surgery. I went under at 9pm and didn't wake until 3.30am, and the doctor said later on that morning that it turned out to be a very difficult surgery. So I went in the friday and finally got home the tuesday night. Ive basically had to learn how to walk again over these last 3 weeks, my legs have been so weak and I'm still struggling with stairs and in general walking round like a 85 year old man. But the numbness and pins and needles are slowly but surely dying down.
Honestly, although I hated the general feeling of being in Hospital, I can't praise the staff enough. From the Nurses, to the general staff in there; they all made my stay as welcoming and comfortable as possible.
So yeah, I'm off until the end of August. I reckon that'll be enough time to recover for a return to work. I've made a load of progress in 2.5 weeks so another 5 should be more than enough to get back to near full mobility, I hope.