CaaC (John)

How to Determine the Sex of Your Fish

He or She?

Crystal Palace boss Roy Hodgson is expecting to sign 18-year-old Scottish winger Scott Banks from Dundee United in the next few days. (Football.London)

Stan the man and the wife, I lived in the Southend area and Basildon in Essex was just up the road from us, little and large height wise lol.

I don't drive or have a car but all I can say looking at that video is fuck the car, give me the snow, the last time I saw snow like that was in Bavaria during my army days on a skiing exercise, bliss...sigh.

Chelsea striker still wanted by Aston Villa, as Serie A move stalls. (THE CHELSEA BLOG) Aston Villa step up the pursuit for Chelsea forward Olivier Giroud? (SportsMOLE)

Inter also remain keen on signing Croatia midfielder Luka Modric, 34, from Real Madrid. (Sport - in Spanish)

Woke up with heavy frost and that was about it, still cold but that's the way I like it, fuck the heat, I want snow.

'Extremely rare’ Assyrian carvings discovered in Iraq SLIDES - 1/3 In the eighth century B.C., Assyrian King Sargon II ruled over a wealthy and powerful empire that included much of today’s Middle East and inspired fear among its neighbours. Now a team of Italian and Iraqi Kurdish archaeologists working in northern Iraq have uncovered ten stone reliefs that adorned a sophisticated canal system dug into the bedrock. The surprising find of such beautifully crafted carvings—typically found only in royal palaces—sheds light on the impressive public works supported by a leader better known for his military prowess. “Assyrian rock reliefs are extremely rare monuments,” said Daniele Morandi Bonacossi, an archaeologist at the Italy’s University of Udine, who co-led the recent expedition. With one exception, no such panels have been found in their original location since 1845. “And it is highly probable that more reliefs, and perhaps also monumental celebratory cuneiform inscriptions, are still buried under the soil debris that filled the canal.” The site near the town of Faida, close to the border with Turkey, has been largely closed to researchers for a half-century due to modern conflict. In 1973 a British team noted the tops of three stone panels, but tensions between Kurds and the Baathist regime in Baghdad prevented further work. An expedition led by Morandi Bonacossi returned in 2012 and found six more reliefs. The subsequent invasion by ISIS again halted research efforts; the battle line between the Islamic State and Kurdish forces lay less than 20 miles away until the Muslim fundamentalists were defeated in 2017. This past autumn, Morandi Bonacossi and Hasan Ahmed Qasim from Iraq Kurdistan’s Dohuk department of antiquities catalogued a total of ten reliefs set along the banks of an ancient four-mile-long canal. The scene they portray is unique, according to the Italian archaeologist. The panels display a king—who the archaeologists believe is Sargon II—observing a procession of Assyrian gods, including the main deity Ashur riding on a dragon and a horned lion, with his consort Mullissu on a lion-supported throne. Among the other figures are Ishtar, goddess of love and war, the sun god Shamash, and Nabu, the god of wisdom. Archaeologists suspect that such images emphasized to passersby that fertility comes from the divine as well as earthly power. “The reliefs suggest that politically charged scenes of royal power and its divine legitimacy might have been commonplace,” said Harvard University archaeologist Jason Ur, who is researching ancient water systems in the region. The discovery shows that these works of art were “not just in the imperial palaces but everywhere, even where farmers were extracting water from canals for their fields.” The canal skirts a nearby range of hills and was fed by limestone springs. Branches off the waterway provided extensive irrigation for barley, wheat, and other crops. The fields would have helped feed the 100,000 or more residents of Nineveh, then one of the largest cities in the world. The ruins of this vast metropolis lay some 60 miles to the south, across the Tigris River from today’s city of Mosul. Sargon II ruled over what historians call the Neo-Assyrian Empire, which dominated the region from 911 B.C. until its destruction in 609 B.C. at the hands of Persians and Babylonians. As the first army to use iron weapons, the Assyrians developed advanced military techniques to overwhelm their enemies. When Sargon seized the throne in 721 B.C., he immediately conquered the rebellious northern kingdom of Israel and forcibly relocated thousands of captives. The Bible mentions that he overwhelmed the coastal city of Ashdod, and archaeologists recently found a hastily built wall around the settlement that failed to ward off the threat. The southern kingdom of Judah avoided Israel’s fate by becoming a vassal state. Sargon’s military victories continued across Anatolia and the western Iranian plateau. At home, he constructed a new capital outside Nineveh at Dur Sharrukin, which means “Sargon’s fortress,” but little else is known of his non-military exploits. The Faida panels, the archaeologists say, point to extensive royal support for improving lands near the Assyrian heartlands. Sargon’s son Sennacherib expanded this network and built what may be the world’s oldest aqueduct, a structure crossing a river near Nineveh that employed stone arches and waterproof cement. “Over steep-sided valleys, I spanned an aqueduct of white limestone blocks; I made those waters flow over it,” he boasted in an inscription. Oxford University archaeologist Stephanie Dalley has argued that the fabled Hanging Gardens of Babylon actually were built in Nineveh to take advantage of the plentiful water pumped into the city. Though that thesis is controversial, Ur and other researchers say that scholars have underestimated Assyrian technological expertise off the battlefield. The expedition itself used advanced technologies, including laser scanning and digital photogrammetry, to record every detail of the stone panels and their context. A drone provided high-resolution aerial photos that will allow researchers to map the entire canal network. But the precious remains of Sargon’s patronage are “strongly threatened by vandalism, illegal excavations, and the expansion of the nearby village,” warned Morandi Bonacossi. One of the reliefs, he added, was damaged by a would-be looter last May. Another panel was battered when a farmer expanded a stable. And in 2018 a modern aqueduct was cut through the ancient canal. The ultimate goal, he said, is to create an archaeological park that includes other rock reliefs, and to win UNESCO World Heritage Site protection for the entire hydraulic system constructed by several Assyrian rulers a full five centuries before the Romans arrived. https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/offbeat/extremely-rare-assyrian-carvings-discovered-in-iraq/ar-BBZ4wKK

SpaceX to practise emergency crew capsule escape America aims to take another step on Sunday towards being able to send its own astronauts into orbit again. California's SpaceX company will practise what to do in the event that one of its rockets carrying a human crew fails shortly after lift-off. If the test is completed successfully, it should clear the way for regular astronaut launches later this year. The US has not launched from its own soil since the retirement of the space shuttles nine years ago. It has been riding the Russian Soyuz system instead. The US space agency (Nasa) has contracted both SpaceX and the aerospace giant Boeing to come up with home-grown alternatives. SpaceX - with its Falcon rocket and Dragon capsule - is now in the final stages of development. Sunday's in-flight abort manoeuvre is really the last major obstacle the firm faces before receiving the full certification it needs to begin operational astronaut taxi services. (The test was due to take place on Saturday but is delayed to Sunday because of weather concerns.) FULL REPORT

Crystal Palace have agreed a fee with Dundee United for 18-year-old Scottish winger Scott Banks. (Sunday Express)

Italian side Roma wants to sign former Manchester United winger Adnan Januzaj on loan from Real Sociedad, with an option to buy the 24-year-old Belgium international in the summer. (Mail on Sunday)

Inter Milan are on the verge of signing Chelsea winger Victor Moses, 29 after manager Antonio Conte made a specific request for the club to sign the Nigeria international, who is currently on loan at Fenerbahce. (Mail)

Gone are the days where me and the wife would be invited to one of her uncles or aunts surprise Birthday party at the local club or British Legion, the hall would be packed out and it was always a good party to go to, food, booze and old-time dancing but all of the old uncle and aunts have passed away now and the younger family members Birthdays are in a disco and whatnot, fuck that.

I don't like Birthdays full stop, I am not worried about cards and all that but have to appreciate them when given, the wife, son & daughter know never to try and surprise me with a party or whatever as I would not appreciate it. And on my last Birthday (70) gone I said to our daughter as she is the one to spring the surprises "Remember, no surprise parties or balloons for my Birthday, a card from you and the grandsons will do me", she tried to get around me as it was a special day but I did not budge and said "It's just another day to me, you know that" she understood and I got cards and some gifts from the grandsons and our son got me a bottle of Harveys Bristol Cream Sherry.

Make that twice with some help from me.

De Gea is still to quite to me plus I have never liked a goalkeeper as a captain, besides being vocal they need to move around the pitch, Maguire is ok but he would never be another Vidic, Rio or Keane etc. One guy who has left United now thanks to the arseholes Woody & the Glazers I liked a lot was Andy Herrera and I would have loved him as being Captain of United, he bled his heart out for United and Woody and the mob would not give him a decent contract extension but paid out a lot of dosh for arseholes like Pogba, Fred and Alexis Sánchez etc but that's United nowadays with that mob in charge.

De Gea would never be another Peter 'The Great' Schmeichel as a captain, he is to quiet but when Schmeichel yelled at the players they shit a brick and listened, I can remember the penalty save he made in the 99 FA Cup Semi-Final against Bergkamp, the players rushed up to him to congratulate him and he waved them away more or less telling them "FUCK OFF, GO AWAY...THE GAME HAS NOT FINISHED" and they listened.

VAR: Premier League referees set to use pitchside monitors Premier League referees have been told to start using pitchside monitors for decisions where it is felt they should have the final say. The Professional Game Match Officials Limited, the body that manages elite referees, has issued the guidance. The only time the monitors have been used this season is by Michael Oliver in an FA Cup third-round tie between Crystal Palace and Derby County. As a result, he upgraded a yellow card for Palace's Luka Milivojevic to a red. This is the sort of incident where they are now set to be used in top-flight games. One case that could potentially be handled differently in future was that of Arsenal forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang's sending off against Crystal Palace on 11 January. Aubameyang, 30, was initially given a yellow card by referee Paul Tierney for a tackle on midfielder Max Meyer, but the decision was changed to a red by the video assistant referee. It is felt by the Premier League that Tierney should probably have made the final call to confirm his authority and make the decision more likely to be accepted by both players and fans inside the stadium. The Gunners appealed against the decision but that was rejected on Wednesday, meaning Gabon international Aubameyang will miss Premier League games against Sheffield United and Chelsea, and the FA Cup fourth-round tie at Bournemouth. https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51145986

Ashley Young: Manchester United agree a fee with Inter Milan Halleluja Link

Hangman (2017) so, so, for me, looking at an old Al Pacino with a beard then remembering him acting in the Godfather films put me off this film really, 6/10.

Done Deal https://www.brightonandhovealbion.com/news/1573694/midfielder-heads-to-den-haag?utm_source=premier-league-website&utm_campaign=website&utm_medium=link

Wartime film 'The 12th Man' (2017) based on a true story subtitled but the film is spoken in German & Norwegian and a bloody good film and I enjoyed it subtitles or not, you @nudge & @Tommy might enjoy it. 9/10

https://www.qpr.co.uk/news/club-news/jack-clarke-completes-qpr-loan-move/

Rangers midfielder Greg Docherty, 23, would prefer to join Sunderland on loan for the remainder of the season rather than Charlton. (Northern Echo)