Spike

No, not the bundesliga, (formed in the 60s btw), England’s all time scorer.

Who was the record holder in 1921?

Records can be broken. Winning a league can't be lost, unless it is Juventus. 200 goals or 300 goals doesn’t matter because Kane at this point has already showcased he has supreme ability.

He is a millionaire and it’s only a few hours flight. They can manage in London.

I'm so very conflicted. On one hand I am the 200 year end product of a chip-on-the-shoulder colonial culture that only slightly diverged away from the settler's culture, and must, has to show up England at any and all opportunity, WW1 lives rent free in my head as does bodyline series as a sort of psychic shock to the cultural ethos that no one ever recovered from. I cannot stand Mr Tory Ian Botham (Ian Chappell is right about him), never shuts up KP, the bloke that give himself the #racist on twitter, the fucking nickname 'bazball' and the fact it was a reinvention of the wheel by two Kiwis for use by the old Enemy. This is not okay, we are the team that brutalises with aggressive batting, we set the huge scores for teams to chase, this isn't the script. I really, really, really want Australia to smash this team back to the drawing board, 5-0 wash fuck off, a justification of 140 years of shitty, slow, methodical test cricket, take that you upstart pricks, our machismo Justin Langer, Ricky Ponting, toxic bullshit blokeish masculinity overcoming the next obstacle and vindicating our moral superiority of bazball, fuck ya gentleman's sport and having fun this is a war. This is a leatherglove slap invitation to a duel the insult will not stand, how can I compartmentalise England clawing one back and getting one step closer to having more series wins than Australia and in a radically stylish manner? One the other hand bazball is fucking great to watch and has created possibly one of the most hyped Ashes series ever, and if England win it may breathe life into test cricket if other nations adapt and adopt new styles and variations of bazball. Too steep a price to pay, if you ask me. Australia wins 3-1

Lords is an Australian home ground.

Bairstow picked up a pitcher invader like a misbehaving child

Ah man, you should know that people get defensive when you swing for their group as an outsider, especially more so when the group is one that gets a lot of negative stereotyping and bias.

‘No one holds a grudge like scousers’ don’t think that is gonna play out very well.

I love Liverpool on Spurs violence

Yes, Kane. The reason being I am Australian.

Imagine this cunt speaking German.

The low hanging fruit is right there ready to be plucked by some smartarse and it won’t be me!

Monkey paw, Everton beat Liverpool twice every season.

Business idea. Everton finish 17th every season until eternity ends.

The claret and the blue should be reversed. Better contrast for the lion, I’ve seen other mock ups and the lion just pops when it is blue on the darker claret

I think Stokes and McCullum knowing Australians and the culture wanted to bait Cummins into playing in the stereotypical Australian manner, get the Aussies to puff their chests and make a mistake by trying to out bazball England. They didn't take the bait and Australia set the tempo to England's foot on pedal momentum. It kind of backfired for England as they were probably expecting typical Australian aggression. It probably would have worked against the Waugh or Punter. My mum actually ran into Glenn McGrath at a petrol station in the middle of the bush about a month ago. Said he was very nice, but she also swooned for him so there is that.

Congrats mate, I can't say I'm not envious

What is the deal with the hundred anyway? T20 not good enough foe England?

Very NBA Miami.

I keep thinking about this last test and how it played out. Declaring on day one with Root smashing it around, Marnus out for a golden duck, Robinson sledging Khawaja, rain delay causing England’s collapse, Cummins’ batting winning for Australia, and then Stokes’ weird post interview. @Stan@Lucas thoughts?

That's fair mate, again that's just how I am, if I feel something isn't being loyal to me or all the other fans; I can't be loyal back; but I also understand having a lot of attachment to something, it can be hard to let go. I generally care about people and it upsets me how a country like Saudi Arabia can treat its people so badly but then go play football manager in a foreign country. If it were my choice all clubs would be owned by the fans, as if that'd happen.

That we agree on.

You’re allowed to do whatever you like mate, no one has said otherwise. I just don’t buy the ‘it’s hard’ excuse, a lot of things in life are hard and I don’t think watching another team or giving up a hobby is one of them; I reckon slave labour in Saudi Arabia would be harder. A billion other things you could do and even more while you travel across the UK, I don’t think for a second your life is so empty that football is the one thing you have, but maybe it is, I don’t know you, and if it is that’s perfectly fine. If you want to stay on with Newcastle, then stay on, you don’t have to do anything that anyone says, if you literally said ‘I don’t give a toss about the owners or Saudi Arabia, I’m here for the footy’ that’d be cool, but you aren’t, you keep trying to throw it back at people ‘you wouldn’t give up your team!’ I don’t know what you mean by ‘precious’ but I’m not the one getting bent out of shape and making weird excuses because people don’t like your owners. All in all mate, this isn’t personal, you’re allowed to follow Newcastle, I wouldn’t and I’ve proved in the past I have dropped teams. I’m not attacking or criticising you mate, if that’s what you think.

Should be illegal