Spike

and even when i wasnt watching much i thought about lyon ‘this is the best we have?’ but hey guess he proved me wrong, he has 400 test wickets and i have 400 wanks a year ask me again if australia lose a test

he isn’t the greatest player of all time and that makes him mediocre? yeah he isn’t warne or muralithran but he is a work horse that can work thirty overs and leave the pace attack fresh, look at england working ben stokew into dust because they don’t have anyone that do a marathon. he dropped 400 wickets like he dropped his wife and kids for an instathot, ice cold. don’t really know what you want or what kind of standards you have but i have been happy with megamind’s career and performances for australia. the players seem to like him and he has meme status in the team, played over 100 tests, couple of ten wicket hauls and ever more fifers, yeah he doesn’t WOW but he is pretty reliable and having that reliable player for 100 tests is pretty great. fuck mate look at this england side they are relying on a fifty year old pace bowler, longevity is underrated seems like you expect excellence at a ridiculous degree which is fine I guess, you were bagging on warner a lot and despite his faults has been a magnificent player for australia for a long time

If only you were right, instead we were treated to four hours of Buttler defending capped off with him standing on his wicket.

FOUR HOURS the show I was at was two fucking weekly tapings

Not even. Leach has been shit, and I’d say Broad and Anderson occupy the Hazlewood and Starc roles in the squad, maybe Woakes but he has been anonymous.. A lot of the English players are highly skilled but they are all performing so poorly, Stokes has been non existent offensively and England’s bowling has made little sense. Why would they spend six hours grinding Stokes into dust with short bowling? Australia’s pace is so much more effective because Gazza can bowl 15 maiden overs in a row like nothing. Are their no spinners they could have even tried as a debut?

And Root is good for only 60 in current form. I don’t think there is a single equivalent player on England that I would switch for. Even Marcus Harris who has been unbelievable shit has been slightly better than his equivalent Rory Burns

Nothing England has shown me says they can win a single test this ashes

Well I wished it happened to those kids next door, hope they are alright these days, can't forget the sound of 'abby ya fucking slut' or 'douglas ya little cunt'.

Interesting. Well the reason for it is different I hope. Forced assimilation opposed to removing a child from danger, I hope.

It's a vicious cycle because largely you cannot blame the plain Aussie for feeling that way, they are disconnected from the history and reality of it. When all they see is a people that are fucked up by drugs, alcohol, and violence it's easy to become biased. Most people don't think about the cycle of poverty or the exact circumstances that have to led to Indigenous Australians adopted a very self destructive culture. Some people are just lost, an Indigenous mate of my was just chatting with me and said that another kid we went to school with tried to killed himself last night. It's bad, young men killing themselves en masse, and they are the ones meant to be leaders and elders for the future. But what can you do? They need a culture change and they need to do it internally, the government can give them the tools but a few determined and loving individuals can only do so much, social workers hands are tied, they can't remove children from violent and hate-filled environments because of the political and historical ramifications of that. The children next to my house were subjected for horrible abuse and neglect, it was heartbreaking but there were only so many options available to help, and you just know that those kids are going to grow into people that will do the same thing, because they don't know you can process emotions without violence. You can try to reach them, and teach them but not everyone wants to be reached and have the veil of hatred and self-destruction lifted. That cannot happen in Australia, it's apple and oranges. New Zealand was colonised after the Maori's conquered the natives (that is hearsay but besides the point), they were a unified and homogenous people. Indigenous Australia were over 250 language groups, so to incorporate any of the words and imagery marginalises other groups, besides I don't think they would want to be that way. They like having their own flag and like being 'separate' in a way, I think they'd feel it's just another step of assimilation and taking away their identity by sharing it piecemeal with the rest of Australians. They don't think they want white fellas doing a corroboree dance. There are lot more Maoris than anyway Australian group, and they make a lot more of the population.

fuck mate they are forgotten on the inside, and when they are included like they were in the ashes ceremony it's still seen as freak show oddity. Though I reckon the more mature and less bitter Indigenous Australians would rather, not embrace per se but accept the colonial history and hopefully use that moving forward instead of mulling on the past, but it is very difficult and I don't hold anyone to a standard that they shouldn't be bitter. I would hope things like rugby and aussie rules, even cricket could be used as a uniting passion and something shared. It's not all negative but the negatives have to be addressed and fixed. I used to think things like the indigneous all stars v the all the stars was racist as fuck then I realised it's a good thing because it's something they can be proud of, something they can wear that says who they are and that they are proud of it.

Well yes because Australian identity is purely a result of the colonialisation and the offshoot of british culture isolated from the mainland,, with the eventual addition of Mediterranean immigrants . The history of Australia and the history of it's native peoples are two incompatible and foreign ideas. 'Australia' was only ever white, before that their were free people that weren't 'Australian' but their own identity and there were hundreds of them, mostly lost and corrupted.

But there is a difference between you lot saying it and what is meant to be a professionally made documentary. It's ridiculous and insulting, 2 hours of 'convict this, convict that' and kissing the arse of a South African mercenary that threw a tantrum and switched to play for England. Then all the mouthbreathers in the USA, 'duuur you guys are all descended from convicts right?'. It got old fast.

Pomegranate also sort of rhymes with immigrant. It's easy to forget that the older generations of Australians also used rhyming slang, it isn't something exclusive to London or parts of England. My grandfather like to use it, as well has make up names for everyday items. A car's accelerator became the 'agitator', so he'd say nonsense like 'pop her into gear, hit the agitator and head down the frog'.

Convict is an insult, pom isn't. Pommy bastard and whinging pom are insults but there are no documentaries that exclusively refer to the English are pommy bastards. If an English person is insulted by 'pom' they've got it all twisted, it's just a nickname like Kiwi or Yanky

Tried to watch a doco on the 2005 series but it was insulting. There is no need to refer to us as convicts every few minutes. I really hate it when people say it.

I need the Ashes to be back on. Without the distraction my mood is quite grim.

The English boys were also not paid for this match. You can’t make this up. Though daddy and mummy can probably afford to help out their darlings.

A tale of two captains right now. What can Joe Root do right? What does Pat Cummins do wrong? Just don’t ask Warne that last question, he’d find something to complain about even if a bowler had ten wickets on ten deliveries.

England looking like an actual team. Two quick wickets away from a collapse though.

Going to Smackdown next week in 'Chicago'

Damn it is cringe copy pasting from another site.

It's going to be 5-0. Root looks out of his element and Stokes can't cop the triple threat banter of being all a kiwi, a pom, and a ranger. Jimmy Anderson never recovered from his fucking broken arm.

get fukt I got 200+ likes on facebook for this meme and you aren't ruining my day

England were rissoled.