I wasn't shocked by it. I just don't understand how it appears to be fine to have 250 people just because you have things in place. There's a reason it's 30 people with those criteria to meet. The guidance isn't '30 people with social distancing, hand sanitiser, track and trace, but it can be more as well if you fancy it'. It shouldn't be used as a disclaimer after the event.
My other problem with it is if you've gone to the funeral and seen a large crowd, to enter in to that crowd knowing the risks is where the stupidity, for me is. Especially given the fact it would be a relatively tight space indoors where the virus is more likely to spread.
I totally agree with the bottom line you mention. I can't imagine the pain I'd feel not being able to go to a funeral of a relative/friend.
There have been far worse events/gatherings which I'm more shocked about i.e. an illegal rave over the weekend in Bath where over 3000 (!!!) people turned up.