Bluewolf

Bloody joke isn't it.... This silliness just keeps coming and coming...

Anything for you.... I will probably chuck in a few bottles of your favorite tipple as well.... Postage is going to be huge!!!

Thank god someone is at least trying to help find a cure for this terrible affliction... It's appreciated, much love and a portion of my will has now been set aside for you.. If you could just get them posted to me I will arrange for someone to get the lid off... 'And other made up illnesses!'

Man Flu ( day 1 ) Well I have managed to survive the first night, It was not easy but I am holding on... Been coughing and sneezing and blowing all kinds of crap out my nose most of the night.. My head is pounding.. They are trying hard to disable me the little buggy fuckers but I will not go down lightly.. I will not go quietly into the night etc... I have always been a fighter if truth be known... Just thought I would document my condition on a daily basis in case things take a turn for the worse and these end up being the last words, at least I will have something written down for posterity.. First though I would like to explore the myth that Man Flu is something we have made up, well I can assure you it's very real.. It's so real in fact that the Oxford and Cambridgeshire dictionaries have included it as a term.. Oxford have defined it as 'A cold or other minor ailment experienced by a man who is regarded as exaggerating the severity of the symptoms' Others have it down as 'Wimpy Man Syndrome' Clearly these articles have been written by women who have never experienced it first hand and have just cobbled together what they have heard in their coffee morning gossip circles... My rota idea was a bit of a let down last night, It started out ok but around 1:30am people were starting to complain about 'feeling tired' and wanting to go to bed so around 2am I was left all alone and helpless, I felt abandoned, like that elderly relative no-one wants to take responsibility for.. After everyone had deserted me I tried to pull the cover over me as it was getting colder but I was so weak it felt like trying to pull a lead sheet up.. It was such a hard struggle I thought the dog must be laying on it near the bottom of the bed.. I struggled with it for 10 minutes before I finally got it up to my chin then had to push it off again as it felt like it was crushing me under the weight.. I could barely breath... Off the back of that I am now going to be keeping a detailed log of who comes and goes and for how long, I will cross reference this with the amount of convincing effort they are putting in when trying to make me feel better... I have warned them that given my condition and the gravity of the situation I may have to make sure my last will and testament is bang up to date and it will not be too late for me to omit family I feel have not put in the required effort during my final days.. As it stands our Dog and Cat stand to inherit the lot.. In the meantime I will be googling home help so that I can have round the clock care...

Thanks mate... I tried the bell before but never had enough energy to ding it when I needed something doing.. My voice will be so weak I doubt anyone would hear me calling out so better with the rota that way someone is available at 15 minute intervals to check up on me in case it gets any worse.. I would hate to think that I might pass away with a cold cup of coffee in my hands.. that would be the pits.. When a woman is in labor the pain is so great that she can almost start to imagine what the man is going through when he has this flu...

Typical... just finished shift and off for 4 days and I have been hit with 'Man Flu'... I was fine this morning and have obviously been ambushed by something nasty this afternoon... I have not got the energy to fight it.. the symptoms have taken hold already, I am ebbing away.... it's the end.. I can feel it!! Better get a rota up for the rest of the family on who gets to bring the teas and coffees up to me while I am laid up in bed for the next few days recovering.. I had better do it now while I am still strong enough to hold a pen without assistance..

You have been married 5 minutes and already turning into a miserable old sod.... Took me years and years and 4 kids before I got finally beaten down... I suppose you are going to be turning your nose up at lots of stuff now as being far to 'immature' for your tastes...

Don't tell me you didn't have a chuckle at either the school run or the truth serum scene???

When I first saw the sign and it has the word McDonalds above the door I will be honest mate it had me fooled... I thought it was going to be a classy up market establishment and thought to myself 3 Star Michelin food all the way... Boy was I in for a surprise, No-one at the door asking for my reservation or able to guide me to a window seat, no table cloth, napkins in a glass, candles or even mood lighting, no waiter, or waitress to take my order and to be at my beck and call at the click of a finger.. no fine selection of wines or spirits?? even the seats were not the upholstered kind I was expecting... even worse there was no washroom attendant to offer me a towel after washing my hands or nothing?? And all that simply because I saw the word McDonalds and somehow linked that to being a classy place to eat like the Ledbury...

I rest my case....

Drinking from the toilet would be preferable to some of their coffee range that's for damn sure....

Last thing I tried in McDonald's was the toilets... The food, ( let's call it food for the sake of argument ) is truly awful stuff...

My mate has just called to let me know that the guy that used to look after the Waitrose account has just passed away.. Been working with him for nearly 6 years now.. Really nice bloke, posh double barreled name with a posh upper class type accent but couldn't get a more down to earth and very funny bloke.. Shame, he will be missed.. RIP

I was cracking up a bit at that part...

Thoughtful post mate... You never can tell with some people, even those that seem ok on the outside could be struggling inside.. Posts like this remind me of my old neighbor some years back... Great bloke well liked by people down the street and whenever you talked to him he always seemed to be upbeat and you would never have known anything was wrong and I remember the last conversation we had was about how he was looking forward to going to a school reunion... The following morning there was a knock on the door and his wifes sister had the unfortunate duty to inform us that they had found he had hung himself from a tree over the church fields after not coming home that night.. Gutting news.. he had 2 kids as well, really does hit home when its someone you know personally.. Sadly there are not always warning signs and you can't help wondering if he had been able to talk to someone that it might have tipped the balance maybe..

It wouldn't shock me...

You know how I feel about things being in alphabetical order @RandoEFC... I should be just behind Batard but more importantly in front of Stan..

You must be playing the 1978/79 season then.... Didn't know you could pick what year you wanted to start in??? What a game...

Sounds like a very realistic game...

It was an interesting if a little over the top emotion to finally getting on the score sheet for Morata last night, I appreciate the frustration he must be feeling and all strikers go through rough patches but any decent player just keeps working hard and digs deep, To be reacting like that gives me the impression he is of a fragile nature mentally, probably one that needs constant reassurance and hugs etc.. God knows what he must have been like when his missus had their child, he was probably blubbering more than the baby.. You need strong willed battling types as strikers, those that will impose themselves on the game and in front of goal, have that hunger to get at goal, It always seems as though with Morata he can be easily bruised and bullied out of some games when on the ball and don't think we will ever have that with him... I don't recall ever seeing the likes of Costa, Drogba etc ever getting tears in their eyes or ever getting bullied off the ball for that matter, They were a constant menace to defences.. Still struggling to understand why we let Bat go out on loan... bad decision that one...

I watched 'Ant Man and The Wasp' last night Did not expect much from it but had seen the first Ant Man so gave it a watch and must admit it had me laughing in a few places especially when he ends up having to go to his daughters school... Sort of light hearted film that does not take itself to seriously and Paul Rudd supplying most of the humor throughout, not sure if the character from the comics had the same type of style or not but it seems to work... Also a special mention to his business sidekick Michael Pena who also got a few laughs out of me... Interesting bit at the end as well as they go about tying all the Marvel films together... 7.5

That does look very interesting...

Yea... That was the straw that broke the camels back for me today.... I can't take anymore...How can you do that and expect to get taken seriously across the rest of the world I ask you..