Bluewolf

Class.... I notice everyone else standing off waiting for her to soften them up a bit before wading in.. Think she must have been an x member of that once notorious 'Hells Grannies' gang..

True that... When I had to go and pick up Holly our old German Shepard pup many moons ago I had to carry her home, her head and paws were drooped over the back of my shoulders and I was getting stopped what seemed like every 10 minutes on the train back home.. The amount of times I had to say "no, fuck off mate I don't want your number"

Thought there had been some excitement for a while when I started reading this then just realised it was just world football player standard handbags.. Been left feeling disappointed... About time we saw someone get a good old fashioned crack in the jaw for a change... Until the sport has more random acts of inexcusable violence and emotional over reacting to the slightest provocation then it will continue to hold no interest for me..

How do you put someone on block???

Just when I think life can't possibly get any worse I find out the Spice Girls are getting back together..

We used to make our own Guy and pushed it around in a pram.. Penny for the Guy outside the shops.. made a bit of extra pocket money from it and like you say used to build your own bonfire in the back garden and let off a few cheap fireworks... You could by bangers from the shops back then as well..

There were loads of them round our way... more than last year, some people round here do a lot of stuff on the houses though so it's not surprising.. One bloke had a full sized Frankenstein Monster outside his gaff... others cover all the gardens and houses with webs etc.. good fun for the kids

You must live on the very top floor of a block of flats then....

Someday when mankind has abandoned it's morals and descended into madness they will wake Cthulhu from his slumber and he will raise the old ones from death and all the world will flame in the holocaust of ecstasy and freedom... Nothing belongs to man, not this world, not the home they have built on it, not even the human mind, It is the ultimate destiny of this species to unravel into primal chaos as all things must. To the sounds of their laughter and exultant shouts all man has ever built will one day fade away...

Come on Hammy... do it for Roscoe and Coco

Defo see you in this driving around town... Thought you might go for a 4 door Vax or something... just enough room in the back for an ironing board.. suppose that would be too powerful for you too handle on corners and in those hard to reach places...

Sounds like the type of car @SirBalon would be happy driving around in...

Lets hope they arrive soon... It could be my last hope.. The situation is actually far worse than I am letting on... All the the decent booze is gone as well....

Man Flu Update.. I was going to put the day number but in all honesty it's near impossible for me to tell how long I have been here now... I am drifting in and out of consciousness at an alarming rate as these bugs savage every organ and muscle in my body... There have been times I felt that it may only be a matter of hours, even minutes perhaps before my passing and only my stubborn unwillingness to give in is what is holding me here... I have been coughing, sneezing and ache all over.. nearly used a whole bog roll already and can only best describe whats coming out of my nose as wallpaper paste... Family and friends have gathered and come to my room over and over again it seems just as they think I am on the precipice of death only for me to raise an arm and reach out for one more Mocha Choca Latte... they leave either disappointed or relieved its hard to tell, my vision is blurred most times and sometimes all I see are shapes and hear voices... they seem so far away.. almost as if I am listening in from another realm.. The cat has been coming to see me as well, maybe it's a sign... Is she an Angel or a Guide.. maybe some kind of afterlife thing who knows! All I know is that the situation is grimm... my financial adviser suggested getting out as much as possible and spending it while I still had time and I had 2 shadowy figures round with black suits and top hats.. They got a tape out and I thought they were here to measure the carpet and curtains but when one held the tape on my forehead while the other one pulled it down to my toes I felt they were trying to tell me something... and although things have taken a turn for the worse I am hopeful I can still beat this thing... I don't have time for a defeatist attitude...

That can be annoying... especially if like with Bond they have a great many book to film releases... Once you see Connery as you say that's what you come to expect there after and in many cases anything short of that is always going to be a bit of a let down... Do it the other way round and have that image of what you think the character should be after reading the books then anything not matching that actor wise is always going to be disappointing...

Yea, I have seen the films... That's the one where he asks if they want to pay before going outside because they won't be able to after.. Reading the books and then having a visual in your mind of the type of character he is makes such a difference when it comes to selecting the right type of actor... Having not read the books at all I have nothing to go on so any wrong casting in that respect does not impact on my enjoyment of the film, It would just then be a question of the quality and story line throughout...

How do you feel about Tom Cruise being cast as Jack Reacher in the films??? Does his character fall in line with the books and pretty much how you had the vision of the character being??? I must warn you in advance though your reply might get you put on ignore straight away from @nudge depending on the response... and only that Bottle of Scotch is going to undo that lock out...

Bloody joke isn't it.... This silliness just keeps coming and coming...

Anything for you.... I will probably chuck in a few bottles of your favorite tipple as well.... Postage is going to be huge!!!

Thank god someone is at least trying to help find a cure for this terrible affliction... It's appreciated, much love and a portion of my will has now been set aside for you.. If you could just get them posted to me I will arrange for someone to get the lid off... 'And other made up illnesses!'

Man Flu ( day 1 ) Well I have managed to survive the first night, It was not easy but I am holding on... Been coughing and sneezing and blowing all kinds of crap out my nose most of the night.. My head is pounding.. They are trying hard to disable me the little buggy fuckers but I will not go down lightly.. I will not go quietly into the night etc... I have always been a fighter if truth be known... Just thought I would document my condition on a daily basis in case things take a turn for the worse and these end up being the last words, at least I will have something written down for posterity.. First though I would like to explore the myth that Man Flu is something we have made up, well I can assure you it's very real.. It's so real in fact that the Oxford and Cambridgeshire dictionaries have included it as a term.. Oxford have defined it as 'A cold or other minor ailment experienced by a man who is regarded as exaggerating the severity of the symptoms' Others have it down as 'Wimpy Man Syndrome' Clearly these articles have been written by women who have never experienced it first hand and have just cobbled together what they have heard in their coffee morning gossip circles... My rota idea was a bit of a let down last night, It started out ok but around 1:30am people were starting to complain about 'feeling tired' and wanting to go to bed so around 2am I was left all alone and helpless, I felt abandoned, like that elderly relative no-one wants to take responsibility for.. After everyone had deserted me I tried to pull the cover over me as it was getting colder but I was so weak it felt like trying to pull a lead sheet up.. It was such a hard struggle I thought the dog must be laying on it near the bottom of the bed.. I struggled with it for 10 minutes before I finally got it up to my chin then had to push it off again as it felt like it was crushing me under the weight.. I could barely breath... Off the back of that I am now going to be keeping a detailed log of who comes and goes and for how long, I will cross reference this with the amount of convincing effort they are putting in when trying to make me feel better... I have warned them that given my condition and the gravity of the situation I may have to make sure my last will and testament is bang up to date and it will not be too late for me to omit family I feel have not put in the required effort during my final days.. As it stands our Dog and Cat stand to inherit the lot.. In the meantime I will be googling home help so that I can have round the clock care...

Thanks mate... I tried the bell before but never had enough energy to ding it when I needed something doing.. My voice will be so weak I doubt anyone would hear me calling out so better with the rota that way someone is available at 15 minute intervals to check up on me in case it gets any worse.. I would hate to think that I might pass away with a cold cup of coffee in my hands.. that would be the pits.. When a woman is in labor the pain is so great that she can almost start to imagine what the man is going through when he has this flu...

Typical... just finished shift and off for 4 days and I have been hit with 'Man Flu'... I was fine this morning and have obviously been ambushed by something nasty this afternoon... I have not got the energy to fight it.. the symptoms have taken hold already, I am ebbing away.... it's the end.. I can feel it!! Better get a rota up for the rest of the family on who gets to bring the teas and coffees up to me while I am laid up in bed for the next few days recovering.. I had better do it now while I am still strong enough to hold a pen without assistance..

You have been married 5 minutes and already turning into a miserable old sod.... Took me years and years and 4 kids before I got finally beaten down... I suppose you are going to be turning your nose up at lots of stuff now as being far to 'immature' for your tastes...