...Dan

Black Mirror? Peep Show?

Maybe that's not a typo and he actually watched some awful film called Mystic Rover. Mystic River is a great film.

If we bring in a couple more players I'll be optimistic. As it is, I'd be surprised if we make the CL. Wenger was never a great tactician, but he built brilliant teams, and that masked his flaws. These days he's too nice, too loyal to players. We're going into this season relying on Wilshere and Cazorla as CMs. Our starting pair of Xhaka and Ramsey are nothing special, after that we have Coq and El Neny, both of whom aren't good enough. If we're going to stick with this formation we need to improve our midfield two. That's without mentioning the CB situation. The window's not closed yet, but as it stands it looks like you've made the right decision to give away your season ticket.

Girona 2-0 Atletico after 25 minutes. Of course.

I don't usually put so much on a single bet. Cue a shock Bayern Munich loss.

This better mean we're bringing another CB in. A CB and a CM added to the two we've already brought in, as well as holding onto our big players, would make this a great window.

With 20 minutes to go (at 0-1) in tonight's Classico, I put a fiver on it to finish 1-2. Would've returned £37.50, but as I type this Asensio has just smashed one into the top corner to make it 1-3. Fortunately I saw a late goal coming and put a fiver on another goal with 5 minutes left, which has returned £15. A fiver profit, yay!

Aaaand they lost 1-0.

2/3 so far. I'm a Caen goal away from £70.

Here we go then, first tenner thrown away this season...

How do you guys feel about Zouma going out on loan to Stoke? Has he been given much of a chance at Chelsea? Is he not good enough? I loved him at Saint-Étienne (I wanted him at Arsenal) and it's a shame to see him go to such a shit club.

So this is what it's like to have a goalscorer upfront. Someone who knows how to time his runs and can finish.

Nelson and Willock looking good against Sydney.

No way are we getting Van Dijk.

Wenger seems to be going all out for this one. I don't know why we can suddenly afford to spend so much (maybe he demanded more transfer budget to stay, maybe he's just been hoarding all the money over these signingless years in preparation for something like this) but he's really going for it. I've read that our offers have been lower than Real's but with more upfront. Wenger was at his house last year, they have a relationship already. He wants guaranteed first team football and he'd definitely get it here. Also we're not the kind of club that makes massive bids without knowing the player is interested. That's the thing that gives me the most hope. Trying not to get my hopes up too much, we've been here too many times before.

From the videos I've seen he is a very aggressive tackler (without being too reckless like Xhaka), very physical, no one's gonna get past him easily. He also runs well with the ball and picks out good crosses. Contributed to quite a few goals this season. Very happy with this signing. Now Mbappe. Please.

Off to Nice at the end of the month. Will try to fit in a daytrip to Antibes or Èze. Anyone been before?

I've recently read Coraline (Gaiman), The Time Machine (HG Wells) and Ernest Hemingway's 'On Paris', which is a collection of newspaper articles he wrote when he lived there in the 20s. Enjoyed them all. Read the opening few pages of Hermann Hesse's Steppenwolf a few days ago but haven't got back to it yet. It had a pretty heavy beginning, it was like "oh, the monotony of life, each day like the last...what's the point? Maybe I should do the same as that other guy and end it all with an accidental slip of the razor". Wasn't in the right mood for that.

Surely if you're willing to play the match and he isn't you should be given the win? I'd make sure the people running this league know that I'm ready to play and my opponent isn't.

There's no one in the world better at almost buying players than Arsene Wenger. We're lucky to have him.

I'm watching the Arsenal march on NBCSN, it's half time, I'm on my phone, the adverts are on, and I hear the advert say 'visit your local scag dealer' or something. Apparently Scag is a lawnmower company. I guess they don't know scag is heroin.

But on the bright side he scored on his Calcio Deficiency debut today.

Fiver on Southampton Hull draw returns £20.

I've just finished a French web-series called 'Le visiteur du futur'. It's a comedy about someone who travels back in time to stop future disasters. It's very funny, and the episodes are very short so if you have a few minutes spare check out the first few episodes and you might get hooked like I did.