Mental Health

[Mpache]

Just now, Stan said:

Why not?

What if some MH services have helped people? Is it not good?

Obviously this death is very tragic and for someone so young makes it almost more so, too. Always terrible to hear of someone taking their own life, whatever age but especially when that young.

I have suffered depression for a long time. I get help when I can. It's not good. There are some services that do help, but more often than not the awareness is not good enough. People who don't suffer from this or haven't suffered from this just don't understand us, and I'm telling you firsthand.

[Stan]

8 minutes ago, McAzeem said:

I used to let failures in life take a big toll on me, gave unwanted depression. Then around end of 2018 had a sudden change, I realized most of them didn't even meant anything in the long run. Big positive change 

Good on you. It's cliched but as long as you learn from your mistakes/failures you can't really go wrong in becoming a better version of yourself.

 

One thing I've learnt over the years is to focus only on the things you can control. It's not worth getting so worked up about things out of anyone's control, whether that's work or personal life. 

[Stan]

Just now, Mpache said:

I have suffered depression for a long time. I get help when I can. It's not good. There are some services that do help, but more often than not the awareness is not good enough. People who don't suffer from this or haven't suffered from this just don't understand us, and I'm telling you firsthand.

Are you assuming I've not suffered any kind of MH?

Everyone's first-hand experience is different. Yours impacts you in its own way and I'm not trying to change that feeling or how you feel about things.

If MH services in your country can improve then I sincerely hope it does, for your sake and anyone else in the future. I just think that it's a massive sweeping statement to say MH care is not good, and to silence people in saying otherwise. Awareness probably needs to be improved everywhere if we're being honest.

This isn't directed at you but with some people I know, there's a stigma about not wanting/seeking help even if they know it's there, and want to tackle problems themselves and try and overcome things individually. Obviously that's fine to an extent and I wouldn't totally discourage from that.

[Mpache]

Just now, Stan said:

Are you assuming I've not suffered any kind of MH?

Everyone's first-hand experience is different. Yours impacts you in its own way and I'm not trying to change that feeling or how you feel about things.

If MH services in your country can improve then I sincerely hope it does, for your sake and anyone else in the future. I just think that it's a massive sweeping statement to say MH care is not good, and to silence people in saying otherwise. Awareness probably needs to be improved everywhere if we're being honest.

This isn't directed at you but with some people I know, there's a stigma about not wanting/seeking help even if they know it's there, and want to tackle problems themselves and try and overcome things individually. Obviously that's fine to an extent and I wouldn't totally discourage from that.

I've seeked help, I've talked to many professionals who try their best and I appreciate that. However if there isn't enough awareness then that makes it a moot point because if you're constantly being bullied or being called "toxic" by some people who claim to be your friends, that doesn't help matters in the slightest and you're just being brought down regardless of the help you get.

If other people refuse to cooperate, there's not much a psychiatrist or a therapist in general can do about it. Especially in a situation that's hard to avoid, like being bullied at school. Instead of people saying "oh no that's horrible" then go on and eating their dinners I want them to actually take into account what's happened and start cooperating themselves by not bullying people who are severely depressed and know it, or not be a fake friend and then go on to call that person toxic out of nothing.

Awareness is just not good enough. People who don't suffer from extreme mental health issues know as far as the definition of "depression" and that's it.

In my case, I have a good life that I sometimes take for granted, but I'm autistic and as a result my social life suffers a bit. That's where my problems stem from, I've been called toxic and been bullied before. I'm pretty much in this situation because I've been let down too much. Yet I still get criticized for my depression. Actually a member on this forum had a friend commit suicide and still claimed that I was using mental health as an "excuse". Goes to show some people just do not learn.

[Mpache]

"I see a lot of sadness on Twitter over Morro Garcia's death, but a few days ago I saw people making fun of him for getting injured too much. People, he doesn't get injured on purpose. You don't know how frustrating and sad that is. DON'T DO IT!"

Sums up the mental health awareness in the world.

[N U F C]

19 hours ago, Stan said:

Are you assuming I've not suffered any kind of MH?

Everyone's first-hand experience is different. Yours impacts you in its own way and I'm not trying to change that feeling or how you feel about things.

If MH services in your country can improve then I sincerely hope it does, for your sake and anyone else in the future. I just think that it's a massive sweeping statement to say MH care is not good, and to silence people in saying otherwise. Awareness probably needs to be improved everywhere if we're being honest.

This isn't directed at you but with some people I know, there's a stigma about not wanting/seeking help even if they know it's there, and want to tackle problems themselves and try and overcome things individually. Obviously that's fine to an extent and I wouldn't totally discourage from that.

I agree with the bit in bold entirely.

I don't think it's so much the services for help aren't good enough, it's more the fact people don't feel like using them. As you say there's a big stigma around it and a lot of people don't feel comfortable opening up about how they feel.

[Mpache]

1 minute ago, N U F C said:

I agree with the bit in bold entirely.

I don't think it's so much the services for help aren't good enough, it's more the fact people don't feel like using them. As you say there's a big stigma around it and a lot of people don't feel comfortable opening up about how they feel.

What are you on about? I have been as vocal as I can about my issues, gotten help a lot and the others still fail to understand. You couldn't be more wrong. It's true there are people who don't feel like getting help or open up, but chances are it won't make a difference because the public doesn't know beyond the extent of the word "depressed".

[N U F C]

1 minute ago, Mpache said:

What are you on about? I have been as vocal as I can about my issues, gotten help a lot and the others still fail to understand. You couldn't be more wrong. It's true there are people who don't feel like getting help or open up, but chances are it won't make a difference because the public doesn't know beyond the extent of the word "depressed".

Maybe in your country then.

Over here there's loads of mental health services, phone numbers you can call or text 24/7 to talk to someone. That's 'what I'm on about'.

[Mpache]

Just now, N U F C said:

Maybe in your country then.

Over here there's loads of mental health services, phone numbers you can call or text 24/7 to talk to someone. That's 'what I'm on about'.

I can guarantee you Canada has a lot of mental health services. The problem isn't just talking to someone. It's absolutely necessary and I'm not excluded. I talk to professionals as much as possible. When the public refuses to cooperate though, there's not a lot they can do about it. Again, the services are fine, it's awareness that's not good enough, or anywhere near it.

[Mpache]

I've been called a depressed bellend, I've been told my mental health is an excuse, etc. Explain to me how that shows that awareness is very good? @N U F C

[Stan]

9 minutes ago, Mpache said:

I've been called a depressed bellend, I've been told my mental health is an excuse, etc. Explain to me how that shows that awareness is very good? @N U F C

Awareness to me is knowing the services are there to help your own mental state, not necessarily dictating what people say to you. 

[DeadLinesman]

11 minutes ago, Mpache said:

I've been called a depressed bellend, I've been told my mental health is an excuse, etc. Explain to me how that shows that awareness is very good? @N U F C

Just because someone has called you a depressed bellend doesn’t mean awareness isn’t very good. Not every individual cares about mental health or a range of other topics. However, I genuinely believe the world has in fact come a long way in terms of its awareness, especially in relation to male suicide. I’m sorry that you don’t feel this way, but many others do. In my line of work, I can carry out CBT. I’ve also needed CBT. 
 

Awareness is higher than ever. Unfortunately, it does mean that people have to give a fuck. That’s human nature.

[Mpache]

Just now, Stan said:

Awareness to me is knowing the services are there to help your own mental state, not necessarily dictating what people say to you. 

The public needs to know how to act in those situations though.

Let me put it to you this way, and mind you this isn't my example (thankfully). If you get bullied at school or work, what can any mental health service do about it to change the situation? That's not something in their control. Unless you change school or work and start from scratch, but that's not an ideal situation for what should be a "fixable situation".

[Stan]

2 minutes ago, Mpache said:

The public needs to know how to act in those situations though.

Let me put it to you this way, and mind you this isn't my example (thankfully). If you get bullied at school or work, what can any mental health service do about it to change the situation? That's not something in their control. Unless you change school or work and start from scratch, but that's not an ideal situation for what should be a "fixable situation".

Well that's down on the workplace? You're right in that the MH Service can't necessarily fix that problem. It's out of their remit to stop workplace bullying. 

[Mpache]

2 minutes ago, DeadLinesman said:

Just because someone has called you a depressed bellend doesn’t mean awareness isn’t very good. Not every individual cares about mental health or a range of other topics. However, I genuinely believe the world has in fact come a long way in terms of its awareness, especially in relation to male suicide. I’m sorry that you don’t feel this way, but many others do. In my line of work, I can carry out CBT. I’ve also needed CBT. 
 

Awareness is higher than ever. Unfortunately, it does mean that people have to give a fuck. That’s human nature.

I mean, I can't say you're wrong about human nature. Because you're not.

However, saying awareness is higher than ever though, pretty much a lot of things are "higher than ever" in 2021 but we're still a long way from perfection. If people would stop mocking mental health things will start to get better. Suicide rates will still undeniably be quite high, but that's probably due to people not opening up or other motives. That's my opinion though.

[Mpache]

Just now, Stan said:

Well that's down on the workplace? You're right in that the MH Service can't necessarily fix that problem. It's out of their remit to stop workplace bullying. 

Yes, you're right. That's down on the workplace/school, but there are those situations where nothing is done about it.

Thankfully for me, when I have been bullied it has been shut down quickly, but not everyone has the same fortunes as me.

[N U F C]

1 minute ago, Mpache said:

I mean, I can't say you're wrong about human nature. Because you're not.

However, saying awareness is higher than ever though, pretty much a lot of things are "higher than ever" in 2021 but we're still a long way from perfection. If people would stop mocking mental health things will start to get better. Suicide rates will still undeniably be quite high, but that's probably due to people not opening up or other motives. That's my opinion though.

Suicide rates are higher than ever due to lockdown.

[Stan]

2 minutes ago, Mpache said:

Yes, you're right. That's down on the workplace/school, but there are those situations where nothing is done about it.

Thankfully for me, when I have been bullied it has been shut down quickly, but not everyone has the same fortunes as me.

Of course, everyone's experience is different. I don't think the blame can't be put on MH services for everything (especially in the example you raised), at least not awareness any more, in my opinion. Obviously different countries might approach it differently.

[Mpache]

1 minute ago, Stan said:

Of course, everyone's experience is different. I don't think the blame can't be put on MH services for everything (especially in the example you raised), at least not awareness any more, in my opinion. Obviously different countries might approach it differently.

I'm not blaming MH services at all for workplace bullying though, I'm just saying that getting that help and talking to someone doesn't save you from that type of problem, and when people in power refuse to put things right, then there's not much help you can get besides switching which isn't ideal.

Awareness may be higher than ever now, but it's like saying the racism issue is "better than ever" in 2021. It's ultimately true, we are more equal than we ever have been but then you have organizations like BLM that rightly show we still have a very long way to go.

[Mpache]

Cut ties with my cousin today. Another one who doesn't understand mental health. It hurts, but I had to do it. He was my friend as well since childhood. However, things were getting toxic between us and I pulled the plug because I was tired of him treating me like a nobody in recent times.

[N U F C]

1 hour ago, Mpache said:

Cut ties with my cousin today. Another one who doesn't understand mental health. It hurts, but I had to do it. He was my friend as well since childhood. However, things were getting toxic between us and I pulled the plug because I was tired of him treating me like a nobody in recent times.

I don't know you at all but I get the impression you take everything a bit too seriously.

Cutting off your family really isn't the way.

[Mpache]

1 minute ago, N U F C said:

I don't know you at all but I get the impression you take everything a bit too seriously.

Cutting off your family really isn't the way.

No, I had to do this. Things became toxic at the end and it just didn't do either of us any good.

There's a few things I'm gonna change about myself but this is a foregone conclusion now. And it's not my parents or my brother so there's really not much harm.

[N U F C]

Just now, Mpache said:

No, I had to do this. Things became toxic at the end and it just didn't do either of us any good.

There's a few things I'm gonna change about myself but this is a foregone conclusion now. And it's not my parents or my brother so there's really not much harm.

Well if you feel it's for the best mate then I hope it works out, as I said I wouldn't recommend cutting family off though.

[Tommy]

3 hours ago, N U F C said:

Cutting off your family really isn't the way.

I don't know what was going on between them, so I can only speak about it in general terms. But cutting off toxic people is always for the best, even if it's family sometimes. 

[Dr. Gonzo]

On 07/02/2021 at 11:38, N U F C said:

Well if you feel it's for the best mate then I hope it works out, as I said I wouldn't recommend cutting family off though.

The good thing is cutting ties with someone never has to be permanent.

We're living in weird times and some people have developed a bit of toxicity with lockdown and normal life being so abruptly interrupted and there's a lot of anxiety about when things might return back to normal. It's not beyond the realm of possibility that someone who's got a toxic attitude currently might change as life gets closer to normal (and eventual normality).

It's never nice feeling like you've got to cut ties with someone close to you, especially family, but there can be times where it might be necessary for all parties to be happier overall in the present.