Carnivore Chris

He's a class midfielder for me, I rate him highly, although he needs to be playing for a top side in the league, such as City or Liverpool, in order for everyone to witness the Pogba of Juventus and for France. United isn't the club for him right now as they're currently a mess. They will be back up there again no doubt, but right now they seem quite a way from that. There is no real direction there.

Method is absolutely killing it these days. Sounds as good as ever.

I saw a Rabbit running before and then some huge Raven was chasing after it, before nearly catching it. Where I'm working now, it's at the university, which is surrounded by woodland, etc so there are tons of animals up there and I've seen alsorts. There was also a raven which had hold of something(you could see it flapping) last week, but I didn't want to get too close incase I spooked it. I always thought Ravens/Crows/Magpies only really ate carrion, but it seems as though they catch their own prey as well and are in fact great predators. It's like when I was fishing last year and saw a Magpie swoop down and grab a baby chick as if it was a Hawk. Speaking of Magpies, that one at work is hilarious as it keeps sneaking into the brew room and stealing food. It even pecked at all my mate's eggs the other day. It doesn't help that I have been feeding it chicken though. It's my new mate, legend. I actually saw 2 ducks with about 7 ducklings the other week, but I haven't seen the ducklings since. I wouldn't be surprised if they were dead now to be honest as it's full of predators around there. There is a huge Heron which hangs around, Kestrels, Sparrowhawks, Buzzards, Ravens, Crows, Stoats, Weasels and probably Foxes, Badgers and Tawny Owls at night, so I wouldn't want to be a duckling or Rabbit around there...In fact, a Mouse either. It's full of mice in the fields around there as you see the Kestrels hunting there every day, which is also great viewing. I've seen those Kestrels quite close up too as they were living in the barn literally next to our mini-compoud we have. They were coming out every morning and perching not too far away from us in the trees and even on top of the fences we put up. I haven't seen them as much since the clocks went back though, as they probably come out of there at first light.

Alcudia when I went there.

@CaaC - John

Pet cats? Those little fuckas kill small birds all the time, so it swings in roundabouts. An eagle killing a cat is fair game if you ask me. Speaking of birds. Magpies are intelligent little fuckas. I left my bag in the brew room today, just inside the door with the door left open and one of the little cunts went inside my bag, pulled out the carrier-bag, ripped it to shreds and stole my chicken sandwiches, the little bastard

Some bangers there lads @José, @Machado, @True Blue. Keep them coming

Balon is back in town, Balon in back in town. @SirBalon

Nah this is more like it for @Dr. Gonzo

@Cannabis, @Stan, @Cicero

Do you remember Harry Enfield and chums? Absolutely brilliant it was

I saw about that on the news this morning. Awful news and just shows how valuable life is and how you could just be gone at any moment.

That is him on the left:-

If you book it quite a bit in advance then it works out alot cheap. But everything seems to shoot up as it gets closer to the time. I actually looked at how much flights were a day before I went last time out of interest and it had shot up to 200 quid and that was just one way. I got it dirt cheap 6 weeks earlier for the same flight, probably £70 or so return I think.

I was recommended it on youtube and it turns out that it's actually a fake trailer and isn't actually happening. It certainly fooled me at first

That's hardly difficult though when you consider the state of the competition On a serious note, Spike is a great member, same with the other Aussie cunts on here. We have a great set of lads.

@Stan I've just been looking at Amsterdam for this weekend, but the hotels and flights are ridiculously priced. It's easter weekend this weekend and I wish I'd have booked somewhere for a few days now. I might look about and just go somewhere completely random. I could get the flight on Friday and come back Sunday, chill out Monday then back to work. I'm going to look into it now. You can't beat being spontaneous from time to time. I was thinking of fishing, but it'll be packed as fuck at the lake I go fishing on and it's shit when it's like that. All the bellends will be out and all the campers, etc.

This is genuinely how I expect him to be in real life:-

A Fresh prince of Bel-air film? They will make films about anything nowadays

I went through the auto gate thing myself, but then you always have 2 people stood outside the plaza with a stamp in their hand. I'd be surprised if I was to fill it though as there are shit-loads of pages

On the way home in the airport they told me I could go through the non-eu and Switzerland section when going through passport control. Just as well, as there was literally nobody there, while the EU one was jam packed. I asked for a stamp on my passport(which took some doing as they were refusing like wankers) and the fella even took offence and asked me if it was because of Brexit. I only simply wanted a stamp as you never get them but believe it would be nice to have some in your passport of cities/countries you have visited. They wouldn't give me one at all in Feb, very cuntish of them. I only wanted 1 single stamp as a one off, that's all.

You will have to book tickets in advance as it always seems very busy, which is the only reason why I've never been in. You definitely aren't spoilt for choice when it comes to museums either way. The street performers around Dam square were brilliant through the day last week. I was in Lost in Amsterdam on my first night and some random Russian fella started showing me his art work on his phone off his facebook page, as he designed a lot of tattoos and alsorts. He had some talent, although clearly influence heavily by psychedelic drugs . I in fact saw him in a few different places. He was one of those people who you just seemed to see fucking everywhere. He was as mad as a character as you'll meet, although not in a negative sense.

For cheap and good weed Grey Area and especially Boerenjongens(they have about 4 shops) are the better spots. Also Coffeeshop Solo, which is out of the way of the tourist traps and has a more local Dutch feel to it. As for bars, Hunter's and Stones Cafe are excellent and very chilled spots where you can expect great service. Can't forget Lost in Amsterdam either, I always end up there at some point. Due to the time of the year the boat tours would be worth doing as well. Ahh I want to book it again now