Cricket

[Spike]

England looking like an actual team. Two quick wickets away from a collapse though.

[Stan]

14 hours ago, Spike said:

England looking like an actual team. Two quick wickets away from a collapse though.

Lo and behold. 

Root and Malan gone in the first few overs. And then the inevitable collapse ensued. Disappointingly so again for England given the strong day 3 they had. 

[Spike]

4 hours ago, Stan said:

Lo and behold. 

Root and Malan gone in the first few overs. And then the inevitable collapse ensued. Disappointingly so again for England given the strong day 3 they had. 

A tale of two captains right now.

What can Joe Root do right?
What does Pat Cummins do wrong?

Just don’t ask Warne that last question, he’d find something to complain about even if a bowler had ten wickets on ten deliveries. 

[Spike]

The English boys were also not paid for this match. You can’t make this up. Though daddy and mummy can probably afford to help out their darlings.

[Stan]

Gotta admit Warner being out in the 90s again is amusing. 

[Devil-Dick Willie]

1 hour ago, Stan said:

Gotta admit Warner being out in the 90s again is amusing. 

It's funny, because historically he either scored lots of runs when it's easy (on easy home tracks or against shit attacks) or no runs at all. First 2 tests he's been forced to grind out runs, and actually played very good test cricket... then let himself down in the 90s. 
Australias day by far. England have a bits and pieces team, and Australia do too... but with Smith and Loosebuschange. And it makes all the difference. 

Fielders not taking or creating chances, if I were the bowlers i'd fucking go ape in the dressing room 

[Stan]

3 hours ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

It's funny, because historically he either scored lots of runs when it's easy (on easy home tracks or against shit attacks) or no runs at all. First 2 tests he's been forced to grind out runs, and actually played very good test cricket... then let himself down in the 90s. 
Australias day by far. England have a bits and pieces team, and Australia do too... but with Smith and Loosebuschange. And it makes all the difference. 

Fielders not taking or creating chances, if I were the bowlers i'd fucking go ape in the dressing room 

Yep, especially after the missed chances in the 1st Test. It's something you'd expect high level test cricketers to learn from.

Can imagine England may have a similar moment to the 1st Test where they rally and recover, but probably already left themselves too much to do. I don't see enough in them to fight back. Already seen one collapse in the last test and expect many more. 

[Spike]

Nothing England has shown me says they can win a single test this ashes

[Stan]

13 minutes ago, Spike said:

Nothing England has shown me says they can win a single test this ashes

I thought they might win one but I agree. 

Just a desperately weak batting side. Low on confidence and if Root isn't at the crease they've got no chance. 

[Spike]

6 minutes ago, Stan said:

I thought they might win one but I agree. 

Just a desperately weak batting side. Low on confidence and if Root isn't at the crease they've got no chance. 

And Root is good for only 60 in current form. I don’t think there is a single equivalent player on England that I would switch for. Even Marcus Harris who has been unbelievable shit has been slightly better than his equivalent Rory Burns

[Stan]

4 minutes ago, Spike said:

And Root is good for only 60 in current form. I don’t think there is a single equivalent player on England that I would switch for. Even Marcus Harris who has been unbelievable shit has been slightly better than his equivalent Rory Burns

Possibly one of the bowlers for Richardson? 

It's not helpful that players like Buttler have dropped off a cliff. And that there's not a decent spinner in England's side. 4 steamers (and only Root) is too risky and one dimensional. 

[Spike]

2 minutes ago, Stan said:

Possibly one of the bowlers for Richardson? 

It's not helpful that players like Buttler have dropped off a cliff. And that there's not a decent spinner in England's side. 4 steamers (and only Root) is too risky and one dimensional. 

Not even. Leach has been shit, and I’d say Broad and Anderson occupy the Hazlewood and Starc roles in the squad, maybe Woakes but he has been anonymous.. A lot of the English players are highly skilled but they are all performing so poorly, Stokes has been non existent offensively and England’s bowling has made little sense. Why would they spend six hours grinding Stokes into dust with short bowling?  Australia’s pace is so much more effective because Gazza can bowl 15 maiden overs in a row like nothing.

Are their no spinners they could have even tried as a debut?

[Stan]

As expected, a humiliating defeat on the cards for England. Not a chance they're batting out the rest of day 5, especially with how much Lyon is getting the ball to turn.. Won't be long before the next collapse you'd think. 

[The Artful Dodger]

It’s taking the fun out of the ashes a bit. It’s not even close when England go to Australia.

[Spike]

On 19/12/2021 at 03:22, Stan said:

As expected, a humiliating defeat on the cards for England. Not a chance they're batting out the rest of day 5, especially with how much Lyon is getting the ball to turn.. Won't be long before the next collapse you'd think. 

If only you were right, instead we were treated to four hours of Buttler defending capped off with him standing on his wicket.

[Devil-Dick Willie]

That's gotta be humiliating for Butler. 

@Spike Don't know how much cricket you watch but "Gazza" is the most mediocre legend in history. Poor away from home on wickets that don't bounce like trampolines, gets worse as the pitch and ball get softer unlike every other spinner on the planet, and routinely struggles to bowl teams out on day 5 pitches. It's basically like having a 5th seamer. England always seem to make him look like he's a god tho. He's the Brad Haddin of spinners. 

However, Butler, Pope, and both openers need dropping, and England just don't have the troops to replace them. Easy 5-0

[Stan]

31 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

That's gotta be humiliating for Butler. 

@Spike Don't know how much cricket you watch but "Gazza" is the most mediocre legend in history. Poor away from home on wickets that don't bounce like trampolines, gets worse as the pitch and ball get softer unlike every other spinner on the planet, and routinely struggles to bowl teams out on day 5 pitches. It's basically like having a 5th seamer. England always seem to make him look like he's a god tho. He's the Brad Haddin of spinners. 

However, Butler, Pope, and both openers need dropping, and England just don't have the troops to replace them. Easy 5-0

Therein lies a lot of the England issues. These players with fairly big reputations aren't delivering (although I did feel sorry for how Buttler got out given he was putting up a decent resistance at the time). They can't only rely on Root forever. Root might as well promote himself to being an opener considering how early he is having to come in every single innings. 

I thought England would put up way more of a fight, and didn't think it'd be a whitewash. But think I may have to change that now. Can't see England winning a test as they just don't have 4 or 5 solid days play in them. 1 day here or there just won't cut it. The lack of preparation probably doesn't help but even if they did have a couple of warm up games I don't think it'd have changed much. 

[Spike]

1 hour ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

That's gotta be humiliating for Butler. 

@Spike Don't know how much cricket you watch but "Gazza" is the most mediocre legend in history. Poor away from home on wickets that don't bounce like trampolines, gets worse as the pitch and ball get softer unlike every other spinner on the planet, and routinely struggles to bowl teams out on day 5 pitches. It's basically like having a 5th seamer. England always seem to make him look like he's a god tho. He's the Brad Haddin of spinners. 

However, Butler, Pope, and both openers need dropping, and England just don't have the troops to replace them. Easy 5-0

 

he isn’t the greatest player of all time and that makes him mediocre? yeah he isn’t warne or muralithran  but he is a work horse that can work thirty overs and leave the pace attack fresh, look at england working ben stokew into dust because they don’t have anyone that do a marathon. he dropped 400 wickets like he dropped his wife and kids for an instathot, ice cold. don’t really know what you want or what kind of standards you have but i have been happy with megamind’s career and performances for australia.  the players seem to like him and he has meme status in the team, played over 100 tests, couple of ten wicket hauls and ever more fifers, yeah he doesn’t WOW but he is pretty reliable and having that reliable player for 100 tests is pretty great. fuck mate look at this england side they are relying on a fifty year old pace bowler, longevity is underrated

seems like you expect excellence at a ridiculous degree which is fine I guess, you were bagging on warner a lot  and despite his faults has been a magnificent player for australia for a long time

[Spike]

and even when i wasnt watching much i thought about  lyon ‘this is the best we have?’ but hey guess he proved me wrong, he has 400 test wickets and i have 400 wanks a year

 

ask me again if australia lose a test

[Stan]

44 minutes ago, Spike said:

and i have 400 wanks a year

 

bet this is nothing on @MUFC's standards.

[Devil-Dick Willie]

@Spike He's mediocre. He's not Warne or Murali, and he's not Ashwin or Ajmal... And he's not Yasir Shah or Jadeja. He's bang fucking average. He bowls an offie and an arm ball. ANYONE on earth can bowl 30 overs. 
His biggest problems aren't just that 32 bowling average and his enormous noggin. It's what I mentioned. You want a spinner who is dangerous with the old ball, or on old wickets. This is key because it provides variation with the team. The quicks bowl the hard ball and then you have a spinner to take wickets with the softer older ball. Even more important second innings. Lyon doesn't achieve this. He wants a firm ball so he can bounce it up and hit gloves, it's how he gets the lions share (lol) of his wickets. His bowling average in the second innings is not significantly better than first, even his specific 4th innings bowling average is above 30. 

He has 400 wickets because he's bowled for over a decade. 

Edited December 21, 2021 by Devil-Dick Willie

[Devil-Dick Willie]

2 hours ago, Stan said:

Therein lies a lot of the England issues. These players with fairly big reputations aren't delivering (although I did feel sorry for how Buttler got out given he was putting up a decent resistance at the time). They can't only rely on Root forever. Root might as well promote himself to being an opener considering how early he is having to come in every single innings. 

I thought England would put up way more of a fight, and didn't think it'd be a whitewash. But think I may have to change that now. Can't see England winning a test as they just don't have 4 or 5 solid days play in them. 1 day here or there just won't cut it. The lack of preparation probably doesn't help but even if they did have a couple of warm up games I don't think it'd have changed much. 

Who has big reputations? I'm genuinely confused. Root is the Andy Murray of crickets big 4. He's famously bad at converting 50s to 100s. But, he is your one genuinely world class player remaining. 
Stokes is wonderful, and a great character to have.

These 2 guys aside, you can make an for Broad and Anderson, but they're both well past their admittedly brilliant best, and Archer ain't playing. 

That leaves you with a bunch of decent but not great fast bowlers. And a list of batsman as long as my arm who don't even average 40. Butler sucks in tests. Bairstow had 1 great batting year in tests, and has blown ever since. The rest, Pope, Burns, Hameed, Malan ect... I'd not take them in South Africas side, and they need all the help they can get! 

TLDR. You have 2 old ppl. 2 great players and 7 shades of shite playing, no matter who you pick. For the record, I'd have brought Foakes along

Edited December 21, 2021 by Devil-Dick Willie

[Spike]

7 hours ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

@Spike He's mediocre. He's not Warne or Murali, and he's not Ashwin or Ajmal... And he's not Yasir Shah or Jadeja. He's bang fucking average. He bowls an offie and an arm ball. ANYONE on earth can bowl 30 overs. 
His biggest problems aren't just that 32 bowling average and his enormous noggin. It's what I mentioned. You want a spinner who is dangerous with the old ball, or on old wickets. This is key because it provides variation with the team. The quicks bowl the hard ball and then you have a spinner to take wickets with the softer older ball. Even more important second innings. Lyon doesn't achieve this. He wants a firm ball so he can bounce it up and hit gloves, it's how he gets the lions share (lol) of his wickets. His bowling average in the second innings is not significantly better than first, even his specific 4th innings bowling average is above 30. 

He has 400 wickets because he's bowled for over a decade. 

I don’t disagree with that but it seems like what you want is for Lyon to be something he isn’t. Who replaces him Ashton Agar? zampa? the selectors and the skippers like having him around, he is doing something right

oh come on you can’t just dismiss 400 wickets like that, it a magnificent achievement, and I would have thought you’d be more impressed with 400 with how little you think of lyon

[Devil-Dick Willie]

2 hours ago, Spike said:

I don’t disagree with that but it seems like what you want is for Lyon to be something he isn’t. Who replaces him Ashton Agar? zampa? the selectors and the skippers like having him around, he is doing something right

oh come on you can’t just dismiss 400 wickets like that, it a magnificent achievement, and I would have thought you’d be more impressed with 400 with how little you think of lyon

I'm not saying they should replace him. There was definitely a period where I would have picked Steve Okeefe above him, but I don't think his bowling average would have been wildly better, it's more to do with having an actual spinner, who doesn't have the problems I addressed earlier. 
But the reason they can't replace him is as you say, the alternatives are dire. Agar can bat, but won't get the wickets, Zampa blows. That's why Lyon has 400 wickets. Because no one else has stepped up to be more than marginally better as an option. 
I have nothing against the bloke, bar the fact that he broke up with his wife as soon as he was famous for some young slut who'll drop him like a bad habit as soon as he's out of the lime light. But he's got to 400 because he's had no competition. Fair play I guess. But don't expect me to suck him off for it. He's mediocre, and that's gonna be my final opinion unless his twilight years drastically change. 

[Spike]

27 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I'm not saying they should replace him. There was definitely a period where I would have picked Steve Okeefe above him, but I don't think his bowling average would have been wildly better, it's more to do with having an actual spinner, who doesn't have the problems I addressed earlier. 
But the reason they can't replace him is as you say, the alternatives are dire. Agar can bat, but won't get the wickets, Zampa blows. That's why Lyon has 400 wickets. Because no one else has stepped up to be more than marginally better as an option. 
I have nothing against the bloke, bar the fact that he broke up with his wife as soon as he was famous for some young slut who'll drop him like a bad habit as soon as he's out of the lime light. But he's got to 400 because he's had no competition. Fair play I guess. But don't expect me to suck him off for it. He's mediocre, and that's gonna be my final opinion unless his twilight years drastically change. 

haha mate there is an area between sucking him off and mediocre and I definitely think he is in that area. he is definitely a lesser name in the pantheon of australian cricketing history but I’d maybe put him in B tier maybe sliding towards C tier.