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Dating, Relationships and Marriage Thread


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1 minute ago, Tommy said:

All I got from this is that @Spike can't grow a beard and he's pretty upset about it. 

I've actually been clean shaving a lot recently. Pretty much was scruffy for years straight and I had this thought that one day I'll shave off the beard and I'll look a lot older than I remember looking. Figured may as well appreciate looking youngish while I still am and not hide behind the beard.

 

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1 hour ago, JoshBRFC said:

Thanks for taking the weirdness away from me, Spike. Much appreciated. 

Don't worry, I'll come back for you and do what I did to @Stan but worse and Stan mate I hope you didn't take it the wrong way, I was just joking around from own experiences, the photos are great.

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8 hours ago, Spike said:

Don't worry, I'll come back for you and do what I did to @Stan but worse and Stan mate I hope you didn't take it the wrong way, I was just joking around from own experiences, the photos are great.

Not at all :D

 

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  • 1 month later...
2 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Expand. 

I had to give an ultimatum, I’m coming back this last time but I’m not coming back by mid next year. You have to make a decision, stay or come because enough is enough.

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2 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

So you're coming home for good, and she has to choose to come or stay?

So essentially I'm going on a holiday for a month and half over Christmas, I'm going back to my hometown to spend time with my family. I said I'll return this last time but when I get back I'm preparing to move back to Australia by the mid of the year. I told I need her to say 'I want to come too' and not any wishy washy 'I'll try' or 'We'll see how things go' bullshit, I never meant to stay here this long, I never wanted to, and quite frankly I'm fed up with the needle not being pushed in either direction, I'm done waiting for you to 'be ready' I'm going whether you come or not. Obviously I said it in a much nicer manner but that is the gist of it. Living here is affecting my mental health, I feel trapped, I don't feel comfortable, I'm getting disconnected with my family, friends, and culture, when my grandmother died it kind of broke me a little, I feel so guilty that I hardly had a relationship with her since high school, she was so kind to me but I was so 'out of sight' and 'out of mind' for her dementia, now I'm scared that it could happen to my friends or my mother, or anyone else.

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10 minutes ago, Spike said:

So essentially I'm going on a holiday for a month and half over Christmas, I'm going back to my hometown to spend time with my family. I said I'll return this last time but when I get back I'm preparing to move back to Australia by the mid of the year. I told I need her to say 'I want to come too' and not any wishy washy 'I'll try' or 'We'll see how things go' bullshit, I never meant to stay here this long, I never wanted to, and quite frankly I'm fed up with the needle not being pushed in either direction, I'm done waiting for you to 'be ready' I'm going whether you come or not. Obviously I said it in a much nicer manner but that is the gist of it. Living here is affecting my mental health, I feel trapped, I don't feel comfortable, I'm getting disconnected with my family, friends, and culture, when my grandmother died it kind of broke me a little, I feel so guilty that I hardly had a relationship with her since high school, she was so kind to me but I was so 'out of sight' and 'out of mind' for her dementia, now I'm scared that it could happen to my friends or my mother, or anyone else.

I dunno man. It's easy to think "if she loves me she'll come" And on the other side of the same coin she might be thinking "if he loves me he'll stay"

You're also asking her to make the same sacrifices you've decided you can no longer bear. 
Fuck marrying someone from another country seems to be my though here.

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Just now, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I dunno man. It's easy to think "if she loves me she'll come" And on the other side of the same coin she might be thinking "if he loves me he'll stay"

You're also asking her to make the same sacrifices you've decided you can no longer bear. 
Fuck marrying someone from another country seems to be my though here.

Yeah... pretty much.

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That's quite a big sacrifice to ask someone to make within a short amount of time. 

Unless you've had several conversations about it before and not made any headway with it. 

 

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2 minutes ago, Stan said:

That's quite a big sacrifice to ask someone to make within a short amount of time. 

Unless you've had several conversations about it before and not made any headway with it. 

 

I've been telling her this for eight years. I've been painfully transparent that I want to live in Australia. I did it, I've done it for nearly nine years, I've been patient for nearly four years longer than I had planned to.

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11 minutes ago, Spike said:

I've been telling her this for eight years. I've been painfully transparent that I want to live in Australia. I did it, I've done it for nearly nine years, I've been patient for nearly four years longer than I had planned to.

What's her main reasons for not going with you, or the hesitation to make a decision? 

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1 hour ago, Spike said:

Generalised anxiety to leave. I'm exhausted mate, I really am.

She should come with you on your holiday, try before you buy. 

A mate of mine married a German chick, she came to Aus to leave. They divorced 2 years ago and she returned home. There aren't many people on this earth suited to just completely packing up and creating a new life man. Eventually you'll see your partner as a barrier to happiness and resent them and it's all downhill from there. (sounds like you've just about arrived at that station) 

I can't give any constructive advice, because your situation is alien to me. But I hope you make whichever decision you believe will bring you the most happiness. There will be regrets either way. 

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8 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

She should come with you on your holiday, try before you buy. 

A mate of mine married a German chick, she came to Aus to leave. They divorced 2 years ago and she returned home. There aren't many people on this earth suited to just completely packing up and creating a new life man. Eventually you'll see your partner as a barrier to happiness and resent them and it's all downhill from there. (sounds like you've just about arrived at that station) 

I can't give any constructive advice, because your situation is alien to me. But I hope you make whichever decision you believe will bring you the most happiness. There will be regrets either way. 

She has been to Australia like four times

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1 hour ago, Spike said:

Generalised anxiety to leave. I'm exhausted mate, I really am.

The anxiety would be common place. It is a huge move, but as you've stated you've 'sacrificed' for better use of a word, and I hope that she sees that you need this. It may not be a forever thing back in Australia, you never know? 

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18 minutes ago, Toinho said:

The anxiety would be common place. It is a huge move, but as you've stated you've 'sacrificed' for better use of a word, and I hope that she sees that you need this. It may not be a forever thing back in Australia, you never know? 

It doesn’t have to be forever, but I just want to be home for more than a month. I really don’t have an issue with he USA, it is fine but it isn’t my home, and it never will be.

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23 minutes ago, Spike said:

It doesn’t have to be forever, but I just want to be home for more than a month. I really don’t have an issue with he USA, it is fine but it isn’t my home, and it never will be.

Definitely can relate to that last sentence. All the best mate.

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