I also think the best place to look for help probably isn't an Internet football forum. I 100% agree with @Dr. Gonzo that it's great you've had the confidence and ability to open up to us, but unless we truly know the issues you are facing with the whole context, and the fact we aren't MH professionals, means we probably can't give you the answers you want or need.
@Dr. Gonzo raised some good points in both posts and in both, you've gone straight in to the 'I can't believe you're defending @Tommy' viewpoint. Firstly not what he was doing and secondly, you've skipped over all the good stuff to focus on one other thing.
Whether you like hearing it or not I think you should seek professional help as that seriously will be the best place for you to improve your MH and resolve the issues you have.