Tsubasa - Fortuna Düsseldorf -> Würzburger Kickers

[Tommy 4,942]

It's an unusual cold and foggy June morning in Düsseldorf. Fortuna Düsseldorf's board member Erich Rutemöller speeds his car onto the teams office's parking lot. Newspaper under his arm, he runs into the building, sweat coming from the pores on his forehead.

He opens the door to CEO Robert Schäfer's office, and it reeks of booze and fatal decisions. "What have you done" shouts Rutemöller. A groggy and obviously hungover Robert Schäfer barely manages to open his eyes due to the brutal headache. "What...? What have I done? What are you talking about?" 

Rutemöller slams the newspaper on the table. The headline reads "Veteran coach Friedhelm Funkel sacked, unknown local boy Thomas Niesen to take over". 

"What the hell is this?" shouts Rutemöller. 

"Oh boy", replies Schäfer, surrounded by empty whisky and beer bottles. "Well, last night was a bit...strange to say the least. I don't remember that much". 

"How could you sack Friedhelm and appoint someone completely unknown, Robert? Who even is this Thomas Niesen guy?" 

Robert Schäfer's phone vibrates, and he looks at the message he received. "Well, whoever he is, he says he'll be here in 5 minutes". 

5 minutes later the door swings open and Thomas Niesen, also known as Tsubasa on the streets enters the room. "What's up, my dudes? Let's get this thing going". 

Erich Rutemöller is in complete shock and instantly dies of a heart attack right there and now. Robert Schäfer looks at Thomas, saying "what have I done?" under his breath. He opens the window to his office and jumps out of the 3rd floor and dies on impact. 

"Okay, my dudes", Thomas Niesen quietly utters to himself. I guess I'll get to work then". 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Stan 10,387]

do you want me to close this thread now cos you've peaked mate. 

[Tommy 4,942]

26 minutes ago, Stan said:

do you want me to close this thread now cos you've peaked mate. 

 

[Guest Cannabis]

Post of the Year  Oh my God.

[Batard 1,965]

Fair play @Tsubasa, this will take some beating 

[nudge 8,373]

I will now expect a similar write-up to each match you play  

[Tommy 4,942]

Fortuna Düsseldorf are happy to announce their first signing of the season. 

Anja Strobel, former physio at Red Bull Leipzig will become Fortuna's new Head Physio. 

In an exclusive interview Thomas Niesen told us that he has been following her progress on Instagram for a long time. 

"I think she has every we need here, and I'm looking forward to see her working from a safe distance. I haven't spoken to her personally, because that's not how I roll, but I liked a few of her pictures on Instagram to signalize her my obvious interest." 

[Tommy 4,942]

[Guest Cannabis]

3 minutes ago, Tsubasa said:

''Carlo Ancelotti opens the window to his office and jumps out of the 3rd floor and dies on impact''

[Tommy 4,942]

3 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

''Carlo Ancelotti opens the window to his office and jumps out of the 3rd floor and dies on impact''

[The Palace Fan 1,815]

i needed this.

[nudge 8,373]

No update?  

[Tommy 4,942]

There might be huge news soon. Stay tuned. 

[Tommy 4,942]

Just now, Cannabis said:

HURRY UP TO TEASING PARK BENCH SNIFFING CUNT.

I told you, I moved up to bike seats. 

 

Anyway, I kind of have a writer's block. I set the expectations too high with that opening post. But hey, STAY TUNED! 

[Tommy 4,942]

[Stan 10,387]

is that what we stay tuned for?

ruined my Monday.

[Tommy 4,942]

Who's that pulling into the Würzburger Kickers parking lot? 

[Bluebird Hewitt 702]

That 3rd floor window must have been tempting.

[RandoEFC 4,692]

Nice to see Bruno Labbadia is still the favourite for every vacant job in Europe in the new version too.