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Marching on if I May make up for last time...


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What happened last week? Well I banged my neighbours 18 year old daughter and had my birthday!

Stuttgart got rekt!!! 6-0 This result really stamps Augsburgs position in the league next season.

Schalke got rekt! 5-2 and they're still in the danger zone.

Leverkusen picked up the points from Nurnberg. 2-0 to the meds cabinet 

Hannover got a point!!! They held Hertha to a 0-0!!!

 

Our table. Your table. The table

Schalke. 27pts  -20 GD. Form: LDL

Stuttgart 21pts -40 GD. Form: DLL

Nurnberg 18pts -32 GD. Form: DDL

Hannover 15pts -41 GD. Form: For the first time in over a month... LLD. Wow.

 

So to summarise... Hannover are within striking distance of Nurnberg who are in striking distance of Stuttgart. Only a potential resurgent Stuttgart can really threaten Schalke at all, but mathematically they're right in this fight. However. Every one of these teams is shithouse and unlikely to win another game all season, which means a single win will likely decide the fate of any 2 of these teams. 

 

Next week pits...

Hannover against Mainz

Dortmund will demolish Schalke in the derby

Stuttgart will struggle for life at home to Monchengladbach

And poor Nurnberg against a demoralised Bayern who will have just been knocked out of the cup by Bremens 2-0 sneaky electric boogaloo.

 

Special bonus round!!!!

 

I want everyone to pick this week who will finish bottom 2, and who will finish 3rd. With a promotion game prediction!!!

 

My prediction. Hannover and Stuttgart down

Nurnberg to finish 3rd and defeat Hamburg to stay up.

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Hannover and Nurnberg to be relegated.

 

Tough to choose who Stuttgart may play in the play-off. Could be any one of Hamburg, Paderborn or Union Berlin. Even Heidenheim have a chance.

I'll go with Stuttgart vs Paderborn play-off with Stuttgart coming out on top.

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Welcome to matchday 31. Where up is down, water is dry and Dortmund are the worst team in the league.

 

On this day...

Hannover defeated Mainz!!!:o For 6 weeks or so we saw a bottom 3 sat like a stone. Life has entered, but is it all too late?

Stuttgart defeated Gladbach!!!!:o WTF Massive win considering other results. They may have sealed Nurnbergs doom. 

Schalke defeated Dortmund!!!:o 4-2 easy peasy 

Nurnberg defeated BAYERN MUNICH!!!!:o:o Oh wait, no they didn't. They fucked an 89th minute penalty, besides, we loosened them up for you. Like a jar of dumb ugly german pickles. 1-1 the result. Just as they were inching towards Stuttgart, Stuttgart suddenly spring forward and Nurnberg miss the chance to do the same. 

 

This means our table look like dis

Schalke. 30pts  -18 GD. Form: LDL

Stuttgart 24pts -39 GD. Form: LLW

Nurnberg 19pts -32 GD. Form: DLD

Hannover 18pts -40 GD. Form: LDW

 

Fc Russian disco are now officially safe from auto relegation. Not so from the wrath of Stuttgart tho

 

Next week....

Hertha host Stuttgart. Hertha with little to play for, Stuttgart knowing that 1 more win surely sees them avoid the auto drop

Wolfsburg vs Nurnberg. Wolfsburg have a new manager next season, but Europe to play for

Bayern vs Hannover. This could be the day Hannover go down. They need a result to stay in the race for life. 

Schalke are hosting Augsburg. If Schalke can do the business they can go on holiday. 

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What a sad race this is turning out to be. No one seems to want safety!!!

 

Our results. 

A point for Stuttgart would have moved them out of striking distance of both Nurnberg and Hannover. Hertha Defeated Stuttgart 3-1

A win for Nurnberg would have moved them within 2 points of the play off spot. Wolfsburg defeated Nurnberg 2-0

Bayern Munich plowed 10 man Hannover 3-1 Hannover still aren't reasonably out of the race though as 2 wins would currently save themxD

And finally Schalke got 1 point at home to Augsburg.in a 0-0 draw. In the worst style possible, Schalke are mathematically safe.

Image result for blue clapping gif

 

Our table.

Stuttgart 24pts -41 GD. Form: LWL

Nurnberg 19pts -34 GD. Form: LDL

Hannover 18pts -42 GD. Form: DWL

 

Yuck shite.

 

Next weeks matches. 

Hannover host frieburg. Hannover need runner runner wins. And a home game to a mediocre team is must do type stuff. Their last game is against fortuna. Could this be an all time zoop from the worst Green northern team? 

Nurnberg host Monchengladbach. If Nurnberg fail to win they also go down. They have a tougher test however. Though if they win they have a date with Frieburg next week...

Stuttgart are hosting Wolfsburg. A point. Just 1 point to save yourselves. At home. Can they kill off the relegation race this week?

 

On we march. 

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A simple matchday to wrap up our delightful little slice of history. 

 

Hannover and Nurnberg had to win 2 in a row, and pray Stuttgart couldn't pick up a single point over 2 matches. So what happened?

 

Nurnberg fell at the first hurdle. 4-0 to Gladbach and they are RELEGATED!!!!

Hannover won their game 3-0 against Freiburg to give themselves hope!!! But safety wasn't purely in their hands...

VFB Stuttgart won 3-0 against Wolfsburg!!!! This both saves them from the auto drop and makes the Europa spots interesting as well! It also means Hannover are RELEGATED!!!!

 

This concludes relegation season. What a dull ride. The 2 shittest teams couldn't drag themselves up and in the end Stuttgart weren't good enough to rope in Schalke. 

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