Devil-Dick Willie 3,206 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 So for any newcomers to these parts I do an annual relegation thread here in the Bundesliga section each year. As a Bremen fan I am an expert in relegation battles and I love watching a bunch of desperate mediocre as hell 'footballers' kick the shit out of each other in front of 22 000 people far more than I do watching so called 'stars' like Aubameyang take shit penalties and cost me my $10 multi in front of millions around the world the fucking prick. Also this is a great chance to highlight the parts of the league that don't generally get/deserve/need/want to be noticed. Also last time I did this thread I was really late in May and there was 1 matchday to go. So to make up for what must have been bitterly disappointing for my fans we're here with 10 rounds to go! The rules So pretty simple, but I'll explain for the newcomers and window lickers. The bottom 2 go spiralling down to hell, and the team that finishes 3rd bottom has a home/away play off against the team that finishes 3rd in the 2 Bundesliga. The winner gets another front row seat watching Bayern Munich win silverware and the loser gets to draw 1-1 away to Magdeburg next season. The contenders! Nurnberg! Man, Nurnberg suck. After a 4 year hiatus they returned to the promised land. Only to fuck it up immediate. Very poor roster. I hear the Insane Clown Posse promised a much hyped and anticipated sequel to their 2009 hit song 'Miracles' if they stay up! Hannover 96! They have 96 problems, and most of them are football related. I remember a Hannover side not to long ago who couldn't be beaten at home, and who had some slick and sick strikers. Maybe it's time to call Ya Konan out of retirement, because they need a hero. The side has no character. Stuttgart! By far the best squad in the bottom 3, but where are the goals? Will they be consigned to oblivion or will the sound of the Mario Gomez button sound in Württemberg one last time... Augsubrg! A Bundesliga mainstay for the better part of this decade, but often mediocre. It's high time Augsburg were given such a scare, will it inspire them or will they fall back into obscurity. I hope they stay. I have a soft spot for them Can't imagine why... Schalke!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You used to have Huntelaar and Raul and now you have Franco Di Santo! How does it feel you nomark pricks hahahaha I hope St Pauli and Paderborn are keeping a spot warm for you down in the dungeon. Another good squad that hasn't found any goals. Also the coach sucks according to some old crazy dude I met on the internet THE TABLE AS IT STANDS!!!!! Schalke. 23pts -14 GD. Form DLL Augsburg. 21pts -12 GD. Form LLW Stuttgart 19pts -28GD. Form LDW Hannover 14pts -34GD. Form Hahahaha nope Nurnberg 13pts -32 GD. Form DLL This weeks matches. Glorious overlords SV Werder Bremen generously host Schalke. Whatever the result the place will need a scrub after they leave. Tough away fixture for the blues Dortmund host Stuttgart. Dortmund couldn't beat Rhianna if their coach was Chris Brown, but Stuttgart couldn't score a root in a Russian brothel. Interesting fixture Monster energy drink host Augsburg. It's Hoffeheims turn to collect 3 pts from Nurnberg Hannover the only side in the bottom 5 who have a home fixture. It's hosting Neverkusen. Can they collect a point at least? See you all next week for a thrilling update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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