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Marching on if I May make up for last time...

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Finally! A great analysis as always. Definitely my highlight of the season.

Hope Hannover and Schalke get relegated hehehehehehe.

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1 hour ago, Cannabis said:

Probably the best thread we have on TF365. Love this @Devil-Dick Willie

Also, what the fuck has happened to Schalke? Didn't they flirt with the top of the table last season?!

They were clear second. 8 points ahead of third. They never impressed though. Just grinded out results with a solid defence. This year they grind out losses. No clear reason  why they have become much worse.

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You got my attention @Devil-Dick Willie

I doubt it will but noticed yet but Schalke host Newcastle, sorry...Stuttgart on the last day.

Imagine a winner takes all in that one. Scenes...

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1 hour ago, Lucas said:

You got my attention @Devil-Dick Willie

I doubt it will but noticed yet but Schalke host Newcastle, sorry...Stuttgart on the last day.

Imagine a winner takes all in that one. Scenes...

 

Oh it will be noticed. I do a week by week breakdown and update. I've been doing this shit for like 6 years. It's a shame BeIn sports doesn't hire me. 

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21 hours ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

 I've been doing this shit for like 6 years. It's a shame BeIn sports doesn't hire me. 

I don't get it either. I'm a big fan of the expert analyses on your Youtube channel.

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Still unbelievable to me that we aren't even in the relegation discussion anymore. We were dead last one week before the winter break started. 

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2 hours ago, Faithcore said:

I don't get it either. I'm a big fan of the expert analyses on your Youtube channel.

I have a youtube channel?

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15 hours ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I have a youtube channel?

Yes, you just weren't aware mate. Here's one of your vids.

 

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Our weekly update!!!

Schalke were very spirited away to Bremen, but lost 4-2. However, if they can perform like that week in and out the will avoid relegation easily. Tedesco retained his job as well, which is a little surprising

Augsburg took a point home from Leipzig. This is wondrous news and energy drink stock prices have crashed globally

Stuttgart were put away comfortably(in the end) by Dortmund. 

Nurnberg were down early to the Hoff, but equalised! Which made Hoffenheims late winner all the more heartbreakingxD 2-1 to the Hoff

Hannover were 2 down early on, and were even robbed of an opening goal by an incredibly thick layer of snow in front of goal (not even a joke) But crawled their way back to 2-2!!!! and still lost 3-2 thanks to an 87th minute winner from big pharma. Should have vaccinated against that.:ph34r:

So only Augsburg able to collect ANYTHING at all. Man, these are some shitty teams. But they all showed good spirit, so in the end, they're all winners. But not really, get good you peasants.

The table to hell now stands at...

Schalke. 23pts  -16 GD. Form LLL

Augsburg. 22pts -12 GD. Form LWD

Stuttgart 19pts -30GD. Form DWL

Hannover 14pts -35 GD. Form Hahahaha nope

Nurnberg 13pts -33 GD. Form LLL

 

This weeks excitingly awful matches are...

Augsburg host Hannover!!!!!:o A massive opportunity to open the gap over Stuttgart for the hosts, And a big opportunity for Hannover to move withing striking distance of Stuttgart! Big game

Stuttgart host Hoffehiem. At home, but Hoffenheim have been tough to beat this season with just 6 Ls to their name.

Nurnberg visit Frankfurt. Frankfurt are huge favourites here to go marching on towards another season in the Europa league.

Schalke are home to V energy drink. Tough game, but can the Gelsenkirchen crowd will their team to victory? All I know is that if both squads were sucked into a black hole very few tears would be wept by the rest of the league. Make it happen ISIS.

 

Edited by Devil-Dick Willie
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What's the hatred for Schalke, just out of interest? 

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5 hours ago, Stan said:

What's the hatred for Schalke, just out of interest? 

While some of the resentiments towards Perjury 04 are a aftereffect of their player's behaviour in the aftermath of the great Bundesliga scandal 70/71, the most of them derive from their official's and fan's feeling of being more important than they are. Their style of play since Roberto di Matteo's time at the helm didn't help either.

Edited by Rucksackfranzose

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On 11/03/2019 at 22:43, Stan said:

What's the hatred for Schalke, just out of interest? 

Russian gas money, mini Bayern who muscle better teams out of their best players only to play like a pile of shit most times.

 

When Schalke gather up a decent season in the league and Europe it's a necessary evil. Otherwise (and more often) it's just a plastic pain in the ass.

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Do they really get THAT much money from Gazprom? Only because it's their sponsor, I wouldn't call a traditional club like Schalke plastic. 

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Quote:  They were clear second. 8 points ahead of third. They never impressed though. Just grinded out results with a solid defence. This year they grind out losses. No clear reason  why they have become much worse.

1:  They never impressed with an idiot in charge who let the old men boss him about - 'grinded' not a word but where are the players who grinded - why have we let Naldo go and young Kehrer - so at least 50% of the defence was lost and Max although a midfield attacker was converted to a defender and was far better than any we still have.

2:  Despite getting rid of Di Santo (brain dead and way past his best) the idiot has continually relied on another Brain dead so-called attacker named Burgstaller (great performance in Manchester last week) and then subs him every game 'cos he's useless. Fails to impress on the kids that they can play better if they play football not a sort of mixture of Scholes/Bentaleb thuggery which gets them hurt, booked and subbed - so Harit, Embolo and the American dwarf are missing injured far too often as they can try and dish it out, but can't take it. But even then they have to wait for the pensioners to run out of breath before given a chance! And where's the mid-field unless it's that great empty gap between Burgstaller and the Sane Elephant at the back!

3:  At the time you posted the comment I agree that we were well within the 3rd bottom range, but with HS taking over for now - just watch the change!  Sanity just might return

Sorry for this, but I am feeling better today :dam:

 

PS  I have always thought that the dislike - not really hatred - was based on the fact that my old school (Berger Feld) has a system which produces great kids year after year after year and then 04 exists by selling them on - I often look at this week's team selections in the BL and PL and others to see which 04 team is out there for example:

Neuer, Kolasinac, Kehrer, Fuchs/Matip, Rafinha, Goretzka, Meyer, Rakitic, Ozil, Draxler,  Huntelaar, Sane  for 4-4-3 set up even Ayhan in Dusseldorf is better than any of the present lot!:rofl:

 

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Well. Of all the matchdays I have ever seen, matchday 26 is certainly the most recent.

Our glorious results...

Augsburg defeated Hannover soundly!!! 3-1 a convincing result, and it does Augsburg a world of good!!! Hannover on the other hand seem doomed

Stuttgart snatch a point against Hoffeheim after going behind in the first half. 1-1 the result

Nurnberg lose 1-0 away to Frankfurt. A regulation result for many teams in the league, but Nurnberg need to be exceptional to have any hope.

Corporate evil defeats Schalke. New manager and a home game and Schalke couldn't even muster a goal. Deffcon 3. Shout out to the team with wings, they're heaping dat misery on these fools week in and out

So how does our table look?

Augsburg. 25pts -10 GD. Form: WDW

Schalke. 23pts  -17 GD. Form: Error 404 form not found

Stuttgart 20pts -30GD. Form: WLD

Hannover 14pts -37 GD. Form: Hahahaha nope

Nurnberg 13pts -33 GD. Form: Also nope

 

Man, these guys are shit. But Augsburg have created momentary breathing room

Marching on to our glorious round 27

Nurnberg host... Augsburg! Huge game for Augsburg, if they can win this one as well they could create some real separation, not just from the drop, but from chasing Schalke!

Hannover host...Schalke! Holy hell. Schalke won't get a better chance at the 3 points than here. surely a must win

Stuttgart having a lovely visit to Frankfurt. Seems bad for them. Just as they're within striking distance of safety 

 

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This is what fighting against relegation does to you.

 

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Matchday 27 was fast furious, high scoring and low balling. What the shit just happened?

Nurnberg... won a game? Scoring 3 goals? What the shit? Disaster for Augsburg as the 3 easiest points in the league get dropped.

Hannover lost 1-0 to Schalke. Showed little spirit after the first half and deserved to lose

Stuttgart were demolished 3-0 by Frankfurt. As the universe should be.

 

What does this big win mean for our table?

Schalke. 26pts  -16 GD. Form: LLW

Augsburg. 25pts -13 GD. Form: DWL

Stuttgart 20pts -33 GD. Form: LDL

Nurnberg 16pts -30 GD. Form: LLW

Hannover 14pts -38 GD. Form: Hahahaha nope

So Schalke leapfrog Augsburg, and Nurnberg move above Hannover, but they still aren't withing striking distance of Stuttgart yet... If Augsburg and Schalke can get 7+ points away from Stuttgart they will be removed from the list pending non relegation danger status.

 

Next week...

 

Oh mah fuckin lawd...... Stuttgart host Nurnberg. 6 pointer and a half right here. I recommend anyone who enjoys seeing dying men struggle watch this shit show, could be a fiery one. It'll probably be better than watching Bayern rek Dortmund anyway.

It's Wolfburgs turn to smash Hannover

Schalke host in form Eintracht 

Augsburg host Hoffenheim

Farking hell, If Nurnberg win here... could we be on the cusp of a great escape? Find out next week on DRAGON BALL Z!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Edited by Devil-Dick Willie
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45 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Forgive me senpai

Last time on Dragonball z

I'm always amazed at how you are such a foul mouthed ruthless banter guy, and a basement dwelling weaboo at the same time. 

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3 minutes ago, Tommy said:

I'm always amazed at how you are such a foul mouthed ruthless banter guy, and a basement dwelling weaboo at the same time. 

I know like, 3 japanese words. They're all from memes. I'm in a top floor apartment, I have no basement!

 

I did watch DBZ as a kid tho

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3 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I know like, 3 japanese words. They're all from memes.

Same tbh :4_joy:

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2 hours ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Yo listen up, here's the story
About a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue
Like him, inside and outside
Blue his club with a blue little trikot
And a blue stadium
And everything is blue for him
And himself and everybody around
'Cause he ain't got wins this season...

 

RIP Schalke UK

Also, yeah I just clean missed a week. Forgive me senpai

Last time on Dragonball z

Stuttgart and Nurnberg split a boring result and everyone else lost because they suck

 

This weeks results 

Leverkusen defeated Stuttgart. Man they suck, but having gone a man down at least it wasn't embarrassing

Augsburg WON A GAME!!! 3-1. This means they are more than 6 points (or 2 steps if you will...) from hell. Thus they are removed from our calculations for the moment

Monchengladbach were glad to munch up Hannover

Nurnberg and Schalke split the biscuit. 

 

Which leaves our table looking like...this

Schalke. 27pts  -17 GD. Form: WLD

Stuttgart 21pts -34 GD. Form: LDL

Nurnberg 18pts -30 GD. Form: WDD

Hannover 14pts -41 GD. Form: Hahahaha nope

 

So what hot action do we have for you next week? With just 5 rounds to go it looks like only 3 teams are in real danger, just seemingly a question of can Nurnberg pull off one of histories greatest escapes?

 

Augsburg are at home to Stuttgart. Points don't come much easier for either team and this could be a big week for either club

Schalke host Hoffenheim in the battle of the blue bastards. Do Schalke want it though?

Nurnberg visit the pharmacy. Will they rob the joint though?

Hannover visit the capital.

 

And on we march

 

This is seriously becoming a 3 race for last. I think Schalke is fine this year. 

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10 hours ago, Eco said:

This is seriously becoming a 3 race for last. I think Schalke is fine this year. 

Now I can sleep tonight:banana:

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57 minutes ago, SchalkeUK said:

Now I can sleep tonight:banana:

xD

6 points up and the 3 below you look beyond useless this year. 

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What happened last week? Well I banged my neighbours 18 year old daughter and had my birthday!

Stuttgart got rekt!!! 6-0 This result really stamps Augsburgs position in the league next season.

Schalke got rekt! 5-2 and they're still in the danger zone.

Leverkusen picked up the points from Nurnberg. 2-0 to the meds cabinet 

Hannover got a point!!! They held Hertha to a 0-0!!!

 

Our table. Your table. The table

Schalke. 27pts  -20 GD. Form: LDL

Stuttgart 21pts -40 GD. Form: DLL

Nurnberg 18pts -32 GD. Form: DDL

Hannover 15pts -41 GD. Form: For the first time in over a month... LLD. Wow.

 

So to summarise... Hannover are within striking distance of Nurnberg who are in striking distance of Stuttgart. Only a potential resurgent Stuttgart can really threaten Schalke at all, but mathematically they're right in this fight. However. Every one of these teams is shithouse and unlikely to win another game all season, which means a single win will likely decide the fate of any 2 of these teams. 

 

Next week pits...

Hannover against Mainz

Dortmund will demolish Schalke in the derby

Stuttgart will struggle for life at home to Monchengladbach

And poor Nurnberg against a demoralised Bayern who will have just been knocked out of the cup by Bremens 2-0 sneaky electric boogaloo.

 

Special bonus round!!!!

 

I want everyone to pick this week who will finish bottom 2, and who will finish 3rd. With a promotion game prediction!!!

 

My prediction. Hannover and Stuttgart down

Nurnberg to finish 3rd and defeat Hamburg to stay up.

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Hannover and Nurnberg to be relegated.

 

Tough to choose who Stuttgart may play in the play-off. Could be any one of Hamburg, Paderborn or Union Berlin. Even Heidenheim have a chance.

I'll go with Stuttgart vs Paderborn play-off with Stuttgart coming out on top.

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Hannover and Stuttgart to be relegated. Nürnberg to lose against Paderborn in the playoff.

Happy belated birthday, @Devil-Dick Willie!

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