SingleLifeNoKids365

[Toinho]

34 minutes ago, Stan said:

Nah, ask @Beelzebub.

 

'hi' 

If I was him I’d start with “Wasim Akram was a left arm fast bowler who took 414 test wickets. Wanna see how fast my left arm is?”

[MUFC]

1 hour ago, Devil said:

Maybe it's because I settled before online dating but I just don't feel comfortable with idea of online dating.

Firstly how on earth do you trust someone who more than likely is doing everything in their power to make themselves more appealing than they actually are. In person you get a split second to reply to a question and you can read body language to see if someone is into you. It would be so annoying spending the time to get to like someone only to find within 5 minutes the person you'd been speaking to every night for a week was actually nothing like they'd played it out.

Secondly, this is the key one for me, I'd hate to be messaging someone, thinking all is going well, whilst knowing she's more than likely talking to 10 other guys at the same time.

Nah, not for me. Even if I was born when it went boom I think I'd trust my personality and looks to get me someone I actually meet in person first. 

Being honest when it comes to most things in life. I much prefer face to face interaction from the off.

[Stan]

1 minute ago, Toinho said:

If I was him I’d start with “Wasim Akram was a left arm fast bowler who took 414 test wickets. Wanna see how fast my left arm is?”

'Pakistan went through a ball-tampering scandal a while back, how about you come home with me after dinner and tamper with my balls?'

[Toinho]

4 minutes ago, Stan said:

'Pakistan went through a ball-tampering scandal a while back, how about you come home with me after dinner and tamper with my balls?'

That’s better. Much better. I can see why you’re married. 

[Devil-Dick Willie]

I definitely use the messaging as a vehicle for an ASAP meetup. That way you're talking to just her, not her and her friendship committee, can see if she can hold down a conversation and is funny without 'memes' and if she acts interested or is passionate about things, rather than being a 'chill' (which is modern day code for boring and dispassionate) and stale. Having a reasonable sense of humor, a hobby, and the ability to speak at length about things she's interested in are my 3 green flags.

[Stan]

7 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

Having a reasonable sense of humor, a hobby, and the ability to speak at length about things she's interested in are my 3 green flags.

Yep, having things in common or just being able to debate/discuss are a good point. You don't want someone who just constantly agrees with everything. Sense of humour is such a huge green flag too - you want someone to be able to pick you up when things are a bit rough, or just have a casual joke around when together or with each other's friends/family.

[MUFC]

31 minutes ago, Stan said:

'Pakistan went through a ball-tampering scandal a while back, how about you come home with me after dinner and tamper with my balls?'

These are the posts we want to wake up to.

[Tommy]

I used to try online dating, but I always got annoyed when someone actually wanted to talk to me. 

[Devil]

47 minutes ago, MUFC said:

Being honest when it comes to most things in life. I much prefer face to face interaction from the off.

100%

[Stan]

11 minutes ago, Tommy said:

I used to try online dating, but I always got annoyed when someone actually wanted to talk to me. 

Why? 

[nudge+]

Online dating is not something I would ever consider. Fair enough if it works for others, though. 

[Tommy]

2 minutes ago, Stan said:

Why? 

Because people, man. 

[Stan]

21 minutes ago, Tommy said:

Because people, man. 

Why try it in the first place though? What did you want or expect to happen? 

[Tommy]

3 minutes ago, Stan said:

Why try it in the first place though? What did you want or expect to happen? 

Curiosity. Maybe a faint hope to find and meet someone exceptional. But to be honest, I like being alone most of the time, I like doing stuff alone, and I will not compromise that for the sake of it. I know enough people who are only in relationships because they are afraid of being alone. That's not for me. 

When I think back of past relationships, some of my happiest memories are coming back home, alone, and thinking "well well well, now that's more like it". 

 

 

[CaaC (John)+]

3 minutes ago, Tommy said:

When I think back of past relationships, some of my happiest memories are coming back home, alone, and thinking "well well well, now that's more like it". 

 

As they say "There is no place like home", off topic a bit but if me and the wife go visiting family or friends we always look forward to getting home and doing our own thing like you always did in the past, like just sling your coat on the sofa and think I will put that away after, slipping into your old glad rags, stick your slippers on and open a can of lager or a bottle of wine and just relax reading a book or watching tv. 

[Devil]

9 minutes ago, Tommy said:

Curiosity. Maybe a faint hope to find and meet someone exceptional. But to be honest, I like being alone most of the time, I like doing stuff alone, and I will not compromise that for the sake of it. I know enough people who are only in relationships because they are afraid of being alone. That's not for me. 

When I think back of past relationships, some of my happiest memories are coming back home, alone, and thinking "well well well, now that's more like it". 

 

 

My best mate split with the mother of his child due to the fact he preferred his own space and wouldn't compromise on his lifestyle. 

He's now with someone who works away who hasn't had children and enjoys a similar lifestyle to him. I personally think it's really sad myself as its clear they are together out of convenience.

At times I look at his social media posts and think I'd like to be where he is on a certain weekend but most of the time I look and think mate surely at 41 years of age you're sick to death of going into town drinking.

I wouldn't swap my life for his for a billion pounds.

Edited December 27, 2022 by Devil

[Tommy]

1 minute ago, Devil said:

My best mate split with the mother of his child due to the fact he preferred his own space and wouldn't compromise on his lifestyle. 

He's now with someone who works away who hasn't had children and enjoys a similar lifestyle to him. I personally think it's really sad myself as its clear they are together out of convenience.

At times I look at his social media posts and think I'd like to be where he is on a certain weekend but most of the time I look and think mate surely at 41 years of age you're sick to death of going into town drinking.

Never compare your life to someone on social media. We are all different, we all prefer different things. There should be no judging for how someone lives there life as long as they don't hurt anyone. 

[Devil]

2 minutes ago, Tommy said:

Never compare your life to someone on social media. We are all different, we all prefer different things. There should be no judging for how someone lives there life as long as they don't hurt anyone. 

He's my best mate and was my best man at my wedding. We've been friends since we were 13 years of age.

I can have an opinion on his lifestyle if I want it's not like a complete stranger.

I do wonder if he's truly happy with the choices he made.

[Tommy]

2 minutes ago, Devil said:

He's my best mate and was my best man at my wedding. We've been friends since we were 13 years of age.

I can have an opinion on his lifestyle if I want it's not like a complete stranger.

I do wonder if he's truly happy with the choices he made.

Does he appear unhappy to you? 

Maybe he just likes that lifestyle. I think social pressure makes people do things they will regret in the long run. People forcing you to do stuff because that's what they think life should be. 

[Devil]

11 minutes ago, Tommy said:

Does he appear unhappy to you? 

Maybe he just likes that lifestyle. I think social pressure makes people do things they will regret in the long run. People forcing you to do stuff because that's what they think life should be. 

To be honest with you no I don't think he's happy. I don't believe the relationship he is in will ever go anywhere, they spend so much time apart it's suits him. I'm convinced its a convenience relationship. He sees her at the weekend they go out get pissed do whatever they do and she goes down to London to work throughout the week.

She's still got her own apartment, he's got his own house. To me that's not a relationship but I suppose to others it is so each to their own.

I don't personally like her either as she's just not my type of person so she basically driven a wedge between two best mates. 

It's a shame because he had the house, a lovely girlfriend and a child. I tried to tell him when they had issues he needed to stop going out with the lads so often but he was always finding events and stuff to make excuses to go out. In the end she just had enough and he couldn't understand why. 

 

Edited December 27, 2022 by Devil

[Tommy]

3 minutes ago, Devil said:

To be honest with you no I don't think he's happy. I don't believe the relationship he is in will ever go anywhere, they spend so much time apart it's suits him. I'm convinced its a convenience relationship. He sees her at the weekend they go out get pissed do whatever they do and she goes down to London to work throughout the week.

She's still got her own apartment, he's got his own house. To me that's not a relationship but I suppose to others it is so each to their own.

I don't personally like her either as she's just not my type of person so she basically driven a wedge between two best mates. 

It's a shame because he had the house, a lovely girlfriend and a child. I tried to tell him when they had issues he needed to stop going out with the lads so often but he was always finding events and stuff to make excuses to go out. In the end she just had enough and he couldn't understand why. 

 

Maybe I'm in the wrong here, but to me it sounds like he has a suitable partner now, who enjoys the same things as him, but also enjoys her space. Some couples like to live seperately and don't want to be on each others back 24/7. 

And it sounds like he and his previous partner had very differenet ideas about life, so they probably weren't particularly suitable? 

 

[nudge+]

I generally think that people who are not very family-oriented should not marry and have kids with people who are very family-oriented (and vice-versa), because in most cases, that's a straight-out recipe for disaster. Both sides expect the other one to change or adapt to match their expectations, and that's not really going to happen, is it.

[Tommy]

4 minutes ago, nudge said:

I generally think that people who are not very family-oriented should not marry and have kids with people who are very family-oriented (and vice-versa), because in most cases, that's a straight-out recipe for disaster. Both sides expect the other one to change or adapt to match their expectations, and that's not really going to happen, is it.

True. I know a few couples who had a kid together, and then things got ugly, because one parent didn't want to deal with the kid stuff and had basically no interest in the child at all, while the other parent was completely disillusioned by that behaviour. 

[Devil]

4 minutes ago, Tommy said:

Maybe I'm in the wrong here, but to me it sounds like he has a suitable partner now, who enjoys the same things as him, but also enjoys her space. Some couples like to live seperately and don't want to be on each others back 24/7. 

And it sounds like he and his previous partner had very differenet ideas about life, so they probably weren't particularly suitable? 

 

To be honest there are details I would prefer to not go into on an open forum. I get where your coming from totally but I obviously know him on a personal level so it's difficult to explain if I don't feel I can post about it.

I get where you and @nudge are coming from but I seen how depressed losing his girlfriend made him and how much of a strain it was for him not living with his son so now I feel he's continued living the way he is because of that rather than wanting to fully.

The current girlfriend is completely independent and never had intentions of children, so this life is exactly what she wants. She's not a very nice person in truth, I don't know any of my social groups partners that like her and not many other people do either. She's a proper stuck up self indulgent bitch.

[nudge+]

Just now, Devil said:

I get where you and @nudge are coming from

Oh I was not talking about your friend specifically as I don't know anything about him. Just a general observation, both from personal experience and from observing others.