MUFC 1,513 Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 Anything you've only ever done once? Many of these things happen when you're in a rush. Once I was getting ready for college, prior to my shower I was getting my breakfast ready. Just cereal and coffee, but I wasn't as punctual back then as I am now. I put my cereal in the bowl and boiled the kettle. For some reason I poured the boiling water onto the cereal. This pissed me off so badly that I just fucked my breakfast off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,368 Posted June 29, 2021 Subscriber Share Posted June 29, 2021 The only one I can remember was when I was working and my normal routine was get out of bed at 04.30, go to the bathroom for the early morning business and shower, get dressed into my suit & tye etc and then sit down for 30 minutes with only a cup of coffee and check the early morning news, go onto the laptop for a wee bit then head off to work. Well this particular morning I did the latter above and one thing I did not like is anybody disturbing me while I was mentally preparing myself for the days work ahead when the wife came walking into the lounge, rubbing her eyes then sat down beside me, well, I got agitated and said "What are you doing up this early before I head off...?" she just looked at me, stood up and said "What are YOU doing up dressed in your suit and tye? it's Saturday morning darling, you are not working today..." then she headed off back to bed. I just sat there and said to myself you stupid fucking big prick, but I was wide awake by then so I just got dressed back into my weekend scruffs and hung my suit back up and just watched some movies and sport on the tv instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber nudge+ 15,333 Posted June 29, 2021 Subscriber Share Posted June 29, 2021 I have quite a few stupid ones done on purpose and not by accident... Snort sugar (0/0, would not recommend) Smoke tea (5/10, much better than expected) Balance on the edge of a 12-storey building (stupid but fun, ymmv) Train surfing (fun but stupid, don't do it, kids ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whiskey 1,192 Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 1 hour ago, nudge said: I have quite a few stupid ones done on purpose and not by accident... Snort sugar (0/0, would not recommend) Smoke tea (5/10, much better than expected) Balance on the edge of a 12-storey building (stupid but fun, ymmv) Train surfing (fun but stupid, don't do it, kids ) As a kid I snorted crushed chillis in a restaurant - would not recommend either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber nudge+ 15,333 Posted June 29, 2021 Subscriber Share Posted June 29, 2021 17 minutes ago, Whiskey said: As a kid I snorted crushed chillis in a restaurant - would not recommend either. Honestly, that's even worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Tommy 12,644 Posted June 29, 2021 Moderator Share Posted June 29, 2021 17 minutes ago, Whiskey said: As a kid I snorted crushed chillis in a restaurant - would not recommend either. That explains a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,368 Posted June 29, 2021 Subscriber Share Posted June 29, 2021 Stuck a firework (a banger) into a bottle and as it was a short wick firework went off too quickly and made me deaf for a good hour or so plus the bottle exploded and just missed my eyes...never again after that. Stick a straw into an old desk inkwell at school and see who could suck the ink up the farthest without getting it into your mouth, I was doing quite well until a schoolmate slapped me on the back as I was sucking and I ended up swallowing the ink and was sick as a dog after...never again after that too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber nudge+ 15,333 Posted June 29, 2021 Subscriber Share Posted June 29, 2021 3 minutes ago, CaaC (John) said: Stuck a firework (a banger) into a bottle and as it was a short wick firework went off too quickly and made me deaf for a good hour or so plus the bottle exploded and just missed my eyes...never again after that. This reminded me of us looking for old WWII ammo in the woods, putting them bullets on a brick, and then hitting with a hammer to detonate them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,368 Posted June 29, 2021 Subscriber Share Posted June 29, 2021 Just now, nudge said: This reminded me of us looking for old WWII ammo in the woods, putting them bullets on a brick, and then hitting with a hammer to detonate them YIKES...fuck that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,368 Posted June 29, 2021 Subscriber Share Posted June 29, 2021 Holding a 3 penny banger in my hand and let it go off and nearly blew my fingers off and burnt my hand, then got a hammering from my old man when he found out calling me a fucking stupid little bastard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,428 Posted June 29, 2021 Administrator Share Posted June 29, 2021 I feel like @Devil-Dick Willie has a great example made for this thread... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC 1,513 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 4 hours ago, CaaC (John) said: The only one I can remember was when I was working and my normal routine was get out of bed at 04.30, go to the bathroom for the early morning business and shower, get dressed into my suit & tye etc and then sit down for 30 minutes with only a cup of coffee and check the early morning news, go onto the laptop for a wee bit then head off to work. Well this particular morning I did the latter above and one thing I did not like is anybody disturbing me while I was mentally preparing myself for the days work ahead when the wife came walking into the lounge, rubbing her eyes then sat down beside me, well, I got agitated and said "What are you doing up this early before I head off...?" she just looked at me, stood up and said "What are YOU doing up dressed in your suit and tye? it's Saturday morning darling, you are not working today..." then she headed off back to bed. I just sat there and said to myself you stupid fucking big prick, but I was wide awake by then so I just got dressed back into my weekend scruffs and hung my suit back up and just watched some movies and sport on the tv instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 Only one comes to mind immediately. When I was an early teen, I was going through some boxes at my parent's house and found some old tapes of me playing various sports when I was a young guy. One was labelled 'Lucas's Greatest Plays', and so that was exciting so I ran upstairs, got my Mom, and we sat down to watch it together. First thing is me running around the soccer field, I lose the ball and sprint as much as a 5 year old's legs can, and go in for a sweet little 2 footed tackle from behind, and just as I'm about to end this guy's career, the video fizzes and immediately changes. So instead of sitting there watching my un-athletic self playing soccer with my Mom, we are now watching some red head get absolutely pounded by 3 guys sticking their dongs in every void this poor girl had. I was more confused and shocked than anything until I was jolted back to the reality that my Orthodox Christian mother was sitting right beside me watching what I'm watching. Her reflexes were swift though as he bolted to the VCR, and yanked the entire device off and smashed into the floor, breaking it in the multiple pieces. That 'stunt' got me grounded for two weeks, and not once did I snitch on my Dad, as I know for sure it wasn't me who recorded over my greatest plays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beelzebub 2,508 Posted June 30, 2021 Share Posted June 30, 2021 11 hours ago, Stan said: I feel like @Devil-Dick Willie has a great example made for this thread... It's habitual not once a time thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,368 Posted July 1, 2021 Subscriber Share Posted July 1, 2021 Just remembered a couple of other things I did in the past and never did them again. When I was working down South every Friday night I would get a carry out of Beef Curry & Egg fried rice, more often or not the wife would have a curry with me or none at all, but I got pissed off when I would ask her did she want a curry or not and she said no but as soon as I would go out and bring one back she would say "go on then, I will have some..." This happened a few times until I put her off one night of Beef Curry for years, this particular night she said the normal that she did not want a curry then when she saw mine she decided she wanted some so I said ok and gave her some, we were eating away then I said "Did you read the local news, that local curry takeaway shop was raided by the Health & Safety and they found a freezer load of dead cats in a backroom", she spat her curry out and gave it back to me, Another little thing I would do if she was eating eggs I would say "Imagine, that came out of the back of a chickens arse..." or if we were eating chicken, pork or beef I would say "Imagine, that was running around 3 weeks ago..." A punch in the bollocks or a plate tossed at me made me not say them things again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike 5,109 Posted July 1, 2021 Share Posted July 1, 2021 One day at work I was marking down products for expiration dates and instead of labelling a cube for 'decaf espresso' I wrote 'decaf beer'. I was listening to this song Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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