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Thursday 14th September - Matchday 1 (Group E)


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Absolute AIDs-ridden goal to break the deadlock. No evidence of a game plan from us here besides keep possession and hope they let us have a shot whenever we get within 25 yards. Time for Koeman to start earning his money because we look like shit every time we take to the pitch this season.

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Could be 4 or 5 here. Atrocious in every department. Defence shite, attack non-existent, nobody in midfield capable of beating a man and no backbone to try it.

Once again we Everton fans have fallen for the spiel over the summer and believed this is the beginning of something new but it's actually just the latest iteration of spineless players that don't look like they give a shit about getting beaten and don't have the balls to take responsibility on a football pitch.

Obviously far too early to jump to that conclusion but if this is the best we've got then the above paragraph will prove to be true.

And that's 2-0.

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Disgraceful on every level. I'm not exaggerating when I say that if we play like this all season, we will be in a relegation fight.

I can't believe what I'm watching. I could stomach it if Atalanta were actually good but I think me and my mates could put three past this Everton side. Only took half a dozen weeks training and playing with Williams for Keane to go from a quality centre half to Antolin Alcaraz. Jagielka could have done with a bag of popcorn while he was standing watching the third go in as well.

What bothers me more is the body language. None of our lot give a toss.

I'm obviously exaggerating when I say this but if I don't see 11 changes to this line-up for Sunday I'm not watching us play United.

Koeman looking an absolute fraud at this rate as well. Dazzled everyone with bold selections and tactical changes last season, thinks he's permanently proved himself because of it and now waits for the board to deliver a full squad of 30m signings every window or he'll just moan about targets in every press conference rather than take responsibility for what happens on the pitch. Much more of this and he can fuck off too. Next Barcelona manager, laughable at this rate.

Yes I'm having a melt down, deal with it.

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Spurs was as bad as we played at any time under Martinez (who was a fucking disgrace so let's pack it in with the shouts saying you'd have him back) but that was the worst I've ever seen us I think. Ever. We lost in Bucharest 5-0 but we never had the level of investment as we have now. This is worse. 

Close to losing the fan base this early on. United away end will be vicious on Sunday. 

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2 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

Which mongs are saying that?

Some on Twitter, not being serious I believe, mostly just a mixture of people trying to be funny for retweets. 

What's worse is most of the main fan pages NSNO TheEvertonForum etc calling for Koemans head and running polls where the majority of fans are voting for Koeman out.

Football fans.

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Just now, Cannabis said:

I despise most sections of our fanbase. We're an absolute embarrassment when it comes to social media.

It's a good job we don't have the equivalent of Arsenals fan tv because I think I'd jump off a sizeable bridge. 

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Back to the game, there isn't much to add from the second half, and I'm not usually one to bash the manager when it's the players who need to take responsibility when the whistle goes, so this is a joint manager team responsibility, but I've never seen us quite so predictable and clueless.

Consistently this season, every time we're in possession our back four pass the ball amongst themselves and either lose the ball or end up going back to the goalkeeper when one of them eventually miscontrols the ball and panics. If we're fortunate enough to stay in possession, you get a long ball upfield to the striker, regardless of whether it's Calvert-Lewin, Sandro or Rooney, which asks them to single handedly get on the ball and beat their entire defence and goalkeeper. When we have the ball, our entire midfield is pretty much redundant. Sometimes Rooney gets the ball and picks a pass but that's it. None of our defenders will bring the ball out of defence, if they push the boat out and make a forward pass to one of our midfielders, none of them will turn and try and build an attack, they'll just bounce it back to the other centre half or one of the full backs. Once you notice it you see that this is almost exclusively our pattern of play. Leaves me absolutely speechless when you look at the attacking midfield options we have at our disposal. Sickening to say it but our midfield is crying out for a player like Barkley who can actually get the ball to feet and turn his man, otherwise it's just rinse and repeat the shite I described above.

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31 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

Which mongs are saying that?

Yeah mostly social media. A few of the Lukaku shouts as well like him being there would make any difference to the lack of absolutely everything to us at the moment. 

We miss the link up more than anything. Like Barkley. 

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