The Good, The Bad & The Flattering to Deceive - 2021/22 Edition

[Batard]

The annual forecast for who's going to rip it up, shit out abysmal performances and who's going to going to threaten up trees and struggle to yank at weeds?

 

The irrepressibly good - Raphaël Varane

This is a bit like betting on a team to win when they are 5-0 up with a minute to go, but the boy is pure class. Varane is the epitome of a World Class defender. I'm going to stoke the fire by stating there isn't a better all round defender in the Premier League, certainly not with his experience or track record. He's going to be immense.

The poison chalice bad - Nuno Espirito Santo

So many players will be utter shite this season, most of the Newcastle squad spring to mind but I want to focus on a manager instead. He's on a hiding to nothing, he wasn't even there 2nd or 3rd choice. Nuno isn't a sweet sale deal, he's not even a car boot treasure trove of goodies. Nuno is your friends hand me downs. We can all see the imminent car crash, especially if Kane is sold. Gone by November. It won't all be his fault either, Levy has made a right mess of this.

The not quite good enough - Ollie Watkins

The second season at the top level always separates out the class from the flash in the pan. 14 goals last season is 37 Premier League games was a good return, but is he good enough to do it again against wiser defenders? I don't think so. 

[Devil-Dick Willie]

Last season I said united would be better than people expected
That Salah would have a regressed season
That Werner was dogshit. 

Now, get your pens out cunts because god has appeared before you with another offering. Bow. 

The good. 
Jaydon Sancho
When a big name comes across from the land of the Frankfurter it is my responsibility to forewarn and forearm the people of the rainy island. 
Sancho is the real deal. I know you've seen him with England, but him linking up with Fernandez, Pogba and Cavanni is going to be a treat. Only an injury will stop him from impressing. 

The bad. 
Harry Kane. (if he stays at spurs) 
History is a series of events which conspire to shape the future. History is cruel, and can shape a crueler future. 
If Harry Kane moves to city you can feel him being top scorer. 25+ goals, a hatful of assists and a trophy or 3.
If he stays at spurs he gets sad, gets injured, gets 12 goals the season, gets the manager sacked. 

The not quite good enough. 
Arsenal are an easy pick here, but I'll go you one better. Ben White. 

[Reluctant Striker]

The Good

Could well be Sancho & Varane at Man United. I think they feel like the most Man United signings I've seen for a while. Still think they'll fall short of Man City & a probably refocused Liverpool. But there will be a growing feeling things are heading in the right direction. The next push will probably be seen as a new goalkeeper (keep their hands off Emi Martinez) & a proper striker.

The Bad

Sorry any Leeds fans, but I'll predict a popular conversation piece will be what's gone wrong compared to the first season. I can imagine them jostling with Newcastle, Brighton, Burnley & Southampton.

Not quite good enough

Cavani? Werner? I feel Man U & Chelsea will fall short of Man City & a refocused Liverpool. For me, Tammy Abraham should be playing at Chelsea or being snapped up by Manchester United. Especially if neither sign Kane. But neither will happen. No expert will be calling for Abraham. Because Uruguayan legend & German. But Abraham would score more goals than either if someone felt like letting him.

[Spike]

The injured - Raphael Varane. Will be good for three games before his shoddy knees are ground into dust and plays the rest of the reason through the pain

The benchwarmer - Jaydon Sancho. Remember Donny van der Beek? Yeah? Remember him playing for United? Yeah, me neither.

The joke - Tottenham

[CaaC (John)+]

A novice at things like this but I will give it a go.

The Good

Verane, reading all the hype will be another Virgil van Dijk, that would be nice but not if he ended up being injured like VVD, as for Sancho, with Rashford out for around a 3 month break he has a chance to shine with Cavani and young Greenwood AND if Marial pulls his fucking finger out and stops playing hot & cold,

The bad

Ole needs to get rid of dead wood and Pogba is the biggest plank going and needs the order of the boot right up his arse and out of the door then Ole needs to take that captains armband off Maguire and hand it to Bruno then later on maybe Verane, taking that resposibility of 'Arry' might improve him...cough, cough.

Not Quite Enough

Atsenal, with Wenger gone, the guy that gave them all the glory they are now in freefall under Arteta, chosen because he helped manage under Pep at City and the gunner board thought it would be a safe bet to bring back the glory days and big mouthed Piers Morgan who ranted on his twitter account for a few years that Wenger must go if Arsenal can produce again, well, he has gone and Morgan has said nothing since, BRING BACK WENGER...and SAF  

[Smiley Culture]

West Ham to finish in the bottom half. With European football they’ll simply implode and moan about too many games and combined with having owners who don’t spend, a reliance on Antonio as their striker and others improving, they’ll struggle this season. 

[CaaC (John)+]

Forget this, double posted so deleted.

[Dave]

I put Gundogan good, Brewster bad and Mourinho flattering to deceive last season but the post didn't send.

[CaaC (John)+]

4 minutes ago, The Palace Fan said:

I put Gundogan good, Brewster bad and Mourinho flattering to deceive last season but the post didn't send.

Might pay to post in the issue thread as I know Batard was having an issue posting?

 

[Stan]

27 minutes ago, CaaC (John) said:

Might pay to post in the issue thread as I know Batard was having an issue posting?

 

I think he was joking  

[Dan+]

I've got the same problem. Done some big post and it won't send.

[Stan]

Break up the posts in separate sections...

[Batard]

19 minutes ago, Stan said:

Break up the posts in separate sections...

That doesn't work fully either. There's something odd going on. Rab is testing something called pastebin and the only work around I know that works is pasting from word and posting it as a picture (delete the original pasted text).

[Dan+]

Nah nothing working still unless it's a dead short post like this. Wouldn't usually be that bothered but I quite like looking back on these in a year.

[Stan]

29 minutes ago, Dan said:

Nah nothing working still unless it's a dead short post like this. Wouldn't usually be that bothered but I quite like looking back on these in a year.

Not that short surely?

Break it up in to separate posts? Or stop being like SirBalon and be more concise  

[Batard]

43 minutes ago, Dan said:

Nah nothing working still unless it's a dead short post like this. Wouldn't usually be that bothered but I quite like looking back on these in a year.

There is a work around. Paste into MS Word, paste back into the forum, it'll create a picture of the text as well as the pasted text. Take out the pasted text and it'll post the text as a picture. It's a wank work around I know. 

[Dan+]

It can't be posted now. There's no way I can make a fuss about it like this and it end up being anything other than a total disaster.

[Dr. Gonzo]

I have a hard time doing these for players specifically... there's so much that can go right/wrong with any new signings or individual players, I'm hesitant to make any bold calls. So I'll just talk about clubs generally.

The Good: Aston Villa. I think they're likely to lose Grealish... but I think they'll ultimately have a good season and probably look stronger overall. Why do I think that? I don't know, they were pretty heavily reliant on Grealish last season... so maybe I'm well off base here  - I just think they'll have a season that'll make us all say "wow, Villa did better than I thought they would."

The Bad: Norwich. I think this one is something of a cop out tbh  how many times have we seen Norwich come up, look pretty unimpressive, and then go straight back down without a whimper? Too many times for me to even make a good faith attempt at even counting how many times that's happened.

The Not Quite Good Enough: Tottenham. I think Spurs will look better this season without Mourinho. Even if this Kane saga doesn't end with the player happy, I think he'll either still perform for Spurs or if he does leave... I think Spurs will hold onto the cash until January and make big signings that will fit into whatever system Nuno puts in place at Spurs. I don't think he's going to keep many fans happy with his style of play, but I think he'll have them as a tough to beat side that picks up results against many of the competitive sides in the league. Where I think he'll fall short and why I think Spurs will be "not quite good enough" is... I think they'll have a number of "shock losses" to sides you'd expect them to maybe beat... and as a result, I doubt they get CL or EL football.

I almost put Arsenal in there, but after several years of regression and seeing Arsenal now routinely end a season in that area of "not quite good enough"... I think it's a bit expected that Arsenal struggle to truly compete for playing in Europe.

[Dr. Gonzo]

On 31/07/2021 at 15:46, Devil-Dick Willie said:

That Salah would have a regressed season

Wait are you patting yourself on the back for that?

Because last season Salah scored 22 goals. And in 2019/2020 he scored... 19. We had lots of problems last season, but tbh Salah sort of carried us for much of the season. If you'd have predicted Mane's regression (which tbh, was/is very concerning for us)... fair enough, pat yourself on the back. But I'm not sure we can say Salah really regressed just because his teammates did 

[Devil-Dick Willie]

2 hours ago, Dr. Gonzo said:

Wait are you patting yourself on the back for that?

Because last season Salah scored 22 goals. And in 2019/2020 he scored... 19. We had lots of problems last season, but tbh Salah sort of carried us for much of the season. If you'd have predicted Mane's regression (which tbh, was/is very concerning for us)... fair enough, pat yourself on the back. But I'm not sure we can say Salah really regressed just because his teammates did 

because I think he started the season well and died through the middle. 

[Dr. Gonzo]

6 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

because I think he started the season well and died through the middle. 

So did Liverpool generally though. There was about a 2 (or maybe even 3) month period where our midfield was one of the worst performing midfields in England (and probably Europe) - barely any chances created at all and provided no protection for our makeshift backline. I think it's hard to say Salah regressed when he was really our only attacker that performed anywhere close to how you'd have expected him to perform.

Maybe if you expect 30+ goals from him every season... but he's only really done that once. Otherwise he's given us a pretty consistent attacking output in his time here. In reality, he was easily one of our most consistent outfield players last season.

Mane, at times, was shocking last season... so I'd understand if you'd have said him. But Salah's the only member of our front 3 that lived up to anything close to what expectations were last season.

[Ploughendplonker]

I think Leeds will do well this season and break into the top 6. Now they've had a season to adjust to the top tier, I expect them to be much improved this time around. 

 

 

[Rick]

The Good - Leeds Utd 

The bad - Sancho 

The not quite good enough - City finishing second. 

[Batard]

These were my picks last season. The McCarthy suggestion aged well. Funnily enough I wasn't the only person who expected more from him, on the FPL review of the season he appeared in GW1-3 for most of the best teams before veering off a cliff. 

Lemina was a bit unfair on reflection, but then again he really is a lazy bastard. 

[Dave]

Good... Ivan Toney.

I can see him beating the bench mark set by Watkins for a new Brentford forward stepping up to this league. Given Brentford haven't signed an array of creative players I anticipate 'The Talisman Theory' being strong at Brentford too. Infact it wouldn't surprise me if it's at a similar level to that of Wilson/Newcastle last season where he made a 40% goal assist contribution. There will be talk of an England call up when half of our strikers inevitably get injuries during the season and links will emerge with the likes of Tottenham for the summer.

Notable Mentions: Marc Guehi (could force himself in to Gareth's thinking based on his ball playing), Patson Daka (clicking in second third of the season as Leicester occupy a top four place), Bielsa (Leeds will continue to improve and look at a top eight finish).

 

Bad... Ole Gunnar Solksjaer.

Of the top four managers I can see him most likely being sacked at some point during the season. The pressure will be on him and his players to be competitive for the title this season given the players they have signed. I can see that form of pressure getting to enough of his players which will lead him decline in performances and his lack of willingness to change a lineup when they draw to bottom half clubs being the eventual scapegoat.

Notable mentions... "West Ham Fans" (miserable, ungrateful, toxic), Liverpool (I think there's a 30% chance we could see this cycle potentially coming to an end), Southampton (of all the established clubs you'd fancy them for relegation).

 

Flattering to device... Rafa Benitez

Appointing the most divisive manager possible at a time when there is serious cost cutting going on to abide to FFP seems like a scheme that's just eventually doomed to fail and isolate the fans from the board. Even if they stay up comfortably, I cannot anticipate the fan base warming to a defensive style of football given the way Allardyce was treated and their will be some very uncomfortable moments in the season for us to witness between the fans and Rafa when things go wrong.

Notable Mentions.... Dean Smith (if this lot don't click they'll look for a foreign manager), Bruno Lage (Wolves were trigger happy before Nuno), Nuno Espirito Santo (think Levy has dug him a hole already).