Staying off the ale

[LFCMike]

Any tips for staying off the ale? 

Feel like what's going on in my personal life at the moment I'm just out Thursday to Sunday and the other  days I can't sleep at all. Love going out with my mates, takes my mind off things, but every night seems to turn into a mad one. Can't just have a few then go home. 

Going out for a pint does help me sleep but Friday and Saturdays always turn into benders and make me feel so much worse on a Monday and Tuesday. Rinse and repeat.

Plus the fact I'm spending money I don't really have, always chipping into savings then putting it back. Just feel I'm in a really shit place at the moment.

[Spike]

Mate, the most brutal way to put it is to just stop. Take a break, it doesn’t have to be permanent, tell your mates you need to reign in your health and finances for a bit. Stop for a few weeks and you’ll feel better, snd wonder how and why you binge, I take long breaks from drinking and sometimes I have a drink everyday, but I have only one, and when you get to a point where you can happy with just a relaxing beer, without ten following, you feel more in control, healthier, lighter, and more clearheaded. 

You shouldn’t ‘get your mind off things’ that is unhealthy escapism, you need to work through problems with self reflection and hard work, not drink and forgetting

There is no trick to stopping, it is just a desire for change, Taking up a replacement hobby helps, as it transitions the idle hands from thing to another, and a hobby can be anything. Painting, music, cooking, sports, the gym, videogames, etc

[Toinho]

I transitioned to non alcoholic beer during my longest steak (only 3 months) and found that helped. 
 

Recently, I just have a mineral water or water if I’m thirsty. Had a couple of beers since the last stretch. But have found having a replacement drink lined up helps in social situations. 

[Devil]

7 hours ago, LFCMike said:

Any tips for staying off the ale? 

Feel like what's going on in my personal life at the moment I'm just out Thursday to Sunday and the other  days I can't sleep at all. Love going out with my mates, takes my mind off things, but every night seems to turn into a mad one. Can't just have a few then go home. 

Going out for a pint does help me sleep but Friday and Saturdays always turn into benders and make me feel so much worse on a Monday and Tuesday. Rinse and repeat.

Plus the fact I'm spending money I don't really have, always chipping into savings then putting it back. Just feel I'm in a really shit place at the moment.

Mate this sounds like a spiral you need to address now before it gets too far out of control. Maybe the answers you are looking for aren't on here if you believe you have a problem sometimes you need to speak to someone professional before it completely takes over your life. I've lost a mate to alcohol and drugs and I've got a good friend who is a full blown alcoholic that's destroyed his life so hitting it early is the best advice I could give.

Drop me a PM if you want. 

 

[CaaC (John)+]

As an old man who has been through the grinder of booze is all I can say is find yourself a lovely young lady and discipline yourself and control the amber nectar intake, that's unless the young lady you find is as bad as you and gets you pissed as a newt and drags you off to bed which I don't think you would complain, I wouldn't 

Being serious though when I first met Liz (my now betrothed) in my army days I was bad with the booze and was always in trouble fighting etc in German/Turkish boozers but I had to discipline myself and cut down on the booze.

I can remember being married for a week, went out with my new wife for a drink, got pissed and ended up chasing a German guy to fight (by chasing, it was staggering and I fell over a hedge), the wife managed to take me back home to our flat.

All I remember then was waking up around 3 o clock in the morning freezing my bollocks off and lying in the hallway of the flat, I staggered into bed and asked the wife why didn't you wake me up and she said "You looked like a bloody idiot so I left you there".

That was a clear message then that getting pissed was no good for our marriage otherwise it would not last, come 40 odd years later we are both still here together, over the years I might have got pissed a few times since my army days but not as bad as then.

The simple message from me or advice is find yourself a lovely young lady and work it out from there. 

[Dr. Gonzo]

On 12/05/2023 at 21:14, LFCMike said:

Any tips for staying off the ale? 

Feel like what's going on in my personal life at the moment I'm just out Thursday to Sunday and the other  days I can't sleep at all. Love going out with my mates, takes my mind off things, but every night seems to turn into a mad one. Can't just have a few then go home. 

Going out for a pint does help me sleep but Friday and Saturdays always turn into benders and make me feel so much worse on a Monday and Tuesday. Rinse and repeat.

Plus the fact I'm spending money I don't really have, always chipping into savings then putting it back. Just feel I'm in a really shit place at the moment.

I’ve been trying to ween myself off alcohol too mate, it’s hard. I think there’s good advice in this thread I don’t have much else to add. I really relate to your post though.

I agree that if you feel yourself stuck in a cycle of alcoholism… you’ve got to find something you enjoy that breaks the cycle so you can have some sort of emotional release that doesn’t involve you getting absolutely pissed. But you also probably enjoy hanging out with your mates because… they’re your mates why the fuck wouldn’t you? So having alternatives to alcohol when you go out with them is a good  idea too.

And if you find yourself worried about the path alcohol’s taking you on… I think being seriously worried is probably the first step to getting some professional help.

It’s really hard though and your words really resonated with me because I’ve been trying to drink a lot less lately too. I’ve been trying to make up rules about when I can and can’t drink (and very rarely do I set up rules that let me drink) and it’s… marginally… helped but it’s just so difficult. Especially if you’ve used alcohol as an emotional crutch for years and years like I have.

[Danny]

On 13/05/2023 at 03:14, LFCMike said:

Any tips for staying off the ale? 

Feel like what's going on in my personal life at the moment I'm just out Thursday to Sunday and the other  days I can't sleep at all. Love going out with my mates, takes my mind off things, but every night seems to turn into a mad one. Can't just have a few then go home. 

Going out for a pint does help me sleep but Friday and Saturdays always turn into benders and make me feel so much worse on a Monday and Tuesday. Rinse and repeat.

Plus the fact I'm spending money I don't really have, always chipping into savings then putting it back. Just feel I'm in a really shit place at the moment.

I’m not really a heavy drinker these days, used to do the midweek sesh before the friday and saturday night stuff in my early/mid 20s but slowed it down the past few years.

First thing I started doing was just drinking soft drinks during the week, stuck to a lemonade normally as it felt a bit fancier than a coke or pepsi weirdly.

I think the key for the weekends is less about trying not to drink (if you feel it’s a serious problem obviously ignore that comment) and more about planning activities that require getting up early and being sober. Especially with the Summer months approaching nows a good time to try and get up to see some sunrises. Being up north you’ve got a lot of good scenery on your doorstep in the lake district and pennines.

[LFCMike]

Cheers lads. I can kind of remember making this post but not the contents of it. Feel a bit embarrassed tbh as I must have built it up into something bigger than it was in my head.

Was in a shit place at the time but much better now. Tried to stay off all forms of social media etc which is why I'm only just back on here.

The two break ups in the space of about 8 months didn't help at all and I did really struggle to come to terms with the second one which seems stupid given we were only together a few months.

Still out with my mates a few nights a week but definitely not getting into the states I did back then.

Onwards and upwards eh 

[MUFC]

[JoshBRFC+]

14 hours ago, LFCMike said:

Cheers lads. I can kind of remember making this post but not the contents of it. Feel a bit embarrassed tbh as I must have built it up into something bigger than it was in my head.

Was in a shit place at the time but much better now. Tried to stay off all forms of social media etc which is why I'm only just back on here.

The two break ups in the space of about 8 months didn't help at all and I did really struggle to come to terms with the second one which seems stupid given we were only together a few months.

Still out with my mates a few nights a week but definitely not getting into the states I did back then.

Onwards and upwards eh 

Glad to hear you're in a better place mate.

I know people in similar scenarios abusing the booze.

For me, Its an empowering feeling just having a few and calling it a night, i've done that a few times recently. I did the same yesterday, a few hours in the sun with the lads and then went home. Woke up feeling fine today and had a productive day. A lot of us enjoy a good session, but when it becomes too frequent, you have to ask yourself is it worth wasting the following day and waking up feeling shite.

I do not miss my younger days where i'd waste several days and be out multiple times a week. I have lost many friends in recent years, as i got in a crowd in my mid 20's where not only the booze, but the white stuff would make an appearance regularly, and some of them couldn't have a drink without it. When i made changes in my life, it made me realise they were never actually true friends. It's the only drug I've ever taken, but some of those nights i do not miss at all. I don't mean to digress, but you have to ask yourself what you want from life, and for me it's about keeping productive and constantly self evaluating and improving myself. I can't do that if i'm wasting several days a week. Then when i do go and have a nice meal and/or drinks, it makes it all that more rewarding.

[Dr. Gonzo]

19 hours ago, LFCMike said:

Cheers lads. I can kind of remember making this post but not the contents of it. Feel a bit embarrassed tbh as I must have built it up into something bigger than it was in my head.

Was in a shit place at the time but much better now. Tried to stay off all forms of social media etc which is why I'm only just back on here.

The two break ups in the space of about 8 months didn't help at all and I did really struggle to come to terms with the second one which seems stupid given we were only together a few months.

Still out with my mates a few nights a week but definitely not getting into the states I did back then.

Onwards and upwards eh 

Glad to see you back on here mate & I'm very glad you're doing better. Don't feel embarrassed about it at all pal. Life is shit sometimes and has us in shit places for a while, we all do what we can to overcome that shit.

[Bluewolf]

19 hours ago, LFCMike said:

Cheers lads. I can kind of remember making this post but not the contents of it. Feel a bit embarrassed tbh as I must have built it up into something bigger than it was in my head.

Was in a shit place at the time but much better now. Tried to stay off all forms of social media etc which is why I'm only just back on here.

The two break ups in the space of about 8 months didn't help at all and I did really struggle to come to terms with the second one which seems stupid given we were only together a few months.

Still out with my mates a few nights a week but definitely not getting into the states I did back then.

Onwards and upwards eh 

Good luck going forward mate... 

[LFCMike]

Cheers lads