Goku de la Boca 121 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) Saw this on Twitter and thought it could be a fun debate. Formation - 4-3-2-1. Octopus Gazelle - African Elephant - Giraffe - Springbok Wildebeest - Arabian Horse Cheetah - Spider Monkey - Swordfish Polar Bear Octopus for reasons that don't need to be stated. Quick and working full backs with the Gazelle and Springbok. African Elephant for a strong and powerul center back with concentration. Giraffe to have a tall CB to accompany the Elephant. Might struggle with the dribbling though! Wildebeest as the box to box. Has stamina, can run a lot and has a killer instinct if need be. Arabian Horse as the defensive midfield to cover ground. Cheetah as the explosive winger and Swordfish who are not quite as fast but has a bigger killer instinct. Spider Monkey who can probably put in a long ball just as they can throw shit at far range. Polar Bear because they don't forgive. My subs would be Penguin (winger) for snow filled pitches. A slide on a wonky pitch will give extra speed. Walrus for the CB who might be a bit slow but is strong enough to impose taller forwards. Ostrich for the Horse, not as effective but can cover ground just as much. Baboons at Full Back sub, to get in bigger long throws. They are trained to throw poop, so they can probably throw a decent throw in. And a veteran Lion striker who only comes in when the team needs a leader. No birds allowed for this, unless flightless. Edited January 18 by Goku de la Boca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,394 Posted January 18 Administrator Share Posted January 18 Surely you have a fox upfront. Fox in the box! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goku de la Boca 121 Posted January 18 Author Share Posted January 18 6 minutes ago, Stan said: Surely you have a fox upfront. Fox in the box! Fox, Polar Bear or Hyena for me. The last one because they are scavengers, looking for errors to pounce on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,394 Posted January 18 Administrator Share Posted January 18 39 minutes ago, Goku de la Boca said: Fox, Polar Bear or Hyena for me. The last one because they are scavengers, looking for errors to pounce on. 'Fox in the box' is a footballing phrase . Or, you could just have the goat up front: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael 1,117 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Well you definitely wouldn't want a "Dying Swan" in your team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carnivore Chris 2,606 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) GK: Gorilla RB: Leopard CB: Hippo CB: Rhino LB: Tiger DM: Polar Bear CM: Golden Eagle AM: Honey Badger LW: Peregrine Falcon RW: Cheetah ST: Jaguar Cheetah and Peregrine Falcon on the wings for their speed and agility. Golden Eagle as a playmaker for his vision. Edited January 18 by Carnivore Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goku de la Boca 121 Posted January 18 Author Share Posted January 18 1 minute ago, Carnivore Chris said: GK: Gorilla RB: Leopard CB: Hippo CB: Rhino LB: Tiger DM: Polar Bear CM: Honey Badger CM: Golden Eagle LW: Peregrine Falcon RW: Cheetah ST: Jaguar Cheetah and Peregrine Falcon on the wings for their speed and agility. Golden Eagle as a playmaker for his vision. Aggresive formation, but with discipline (besides the Badger anyways). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carnivore Chris 2,606 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) 1 minute ago, Goku de la Boca said: Aggresive formation, but with discipline (besides the Badger anyways). He's the Gavi of the team Edited January 18 by Carnivore Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo 8,193 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 lol wtf Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cicero 5,267 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 Next thing we'll see is your pornstar XI. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Tommy 12,622 Posted January 18 Moderator Share Posted January 18 25 minutes ago, Cicero said: Next thing we'll see is your pornstar XI. At least they actually use balls too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo 8,193 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 29 minutes ago, Cicero said: Next thing we'll see is your pornstar XI. I'm more interested in this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo 8,193 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 @Cicero - https://ftstandssports.blogspot.com/2019/03/the-pornstar-fc-starting-xi.html This man knows nothing about football or wanking, imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devil 1,179 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 You can tell a lot about someone's porn preference from a pornstar eleven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,394 Posted January 18 Administrator Share Posted January 18 2 hours ago, Cicero said: Next thing we'll see is your pornstar XI. @MUFC your time has come... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,394 Posted January 18 Administrator Share Posted January 18 2 hours ago, Cicero said: Next thing we'll see is your pornstar XI. Dick Advocaat as the manager. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devil 1,179 Posted January 18 Share Posted January 18 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Stan said: @MUFC your time has come... He's International level when it comes to pornstars. He could literally work for any nation and pick an eleven. Edited January 18 by Devil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael 1,117 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 11 hours ago, Cicero said: Next thing we'll see is your pornstar XI. LMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reluctant Striker 134 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 Gk: Killer Whale Defence: Cheetah, Rhino, Hippo, Leopard Midfield: Zebra, Basking Shark, Lion Forwards: Ostrich, Great White Shark, Dolphin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC 1,504 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 18 minutes ago, Reluctant Striker said: Gk: Killer Whale Defence: Cheetah, Rhino, Hippo, Leopard Midfield: Zebra, Basking Shark, Lion Forwards: Ostrich, Great White Shark, Dolphin If the Cheetah and Leopards bomb on. It will be risky leaving the Rhino and Hippo isolated against 2 pacey animals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo 8,193 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 3 hours ago, MUFC said: If the Cheetah and Leopards bomb on. It will be risky leaving the Rhino and Hippo isolated against 2 pacey animals. Hippos can reach a top speed of 48 km/h (over short distances though), and rhinos have a top speed of 55 km/h - so they might be able to cover for cheetahs & leapords overlapping and going forward pretty well. I think the biggest worry about that XI is how are the sharks and dolphins going to fair on a football pitch. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goku de la Boca 121 Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 (edited) 24 minutes ago, Dr. Gonzo said: Hippos can reach a top speed of 48 km/h (over short distances though), and rhinos have a top speed of 55 km/h - so they might be able to cover for cheetahs & leapords overlapping and going forward pretty well. I think the biggest worry about that XI is how are the sharks and dolphins going to fair on a football pitch. I was wondering if Cheetah would be wasted at FB but he'd be like Alphonso Davies. He can work all across his wing. Dolphins would be good at getting penalties given their diving ability. Edited January 23 by Goku de la Boca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC 1,504 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 1 hour ago, Dr. Gonzo said: Hippos can reach a top speed of 48 km/h (over short distances though), and rhinos have a top speed of 55 km/h - so they might be able to cover for cheetahs & leapords overlapping and going forward pretty well. I think the biggest worry about that XI is how are the sharks and dolphins going to fair on a football pitch. The question about rhinos and hippos isn't why their dicks are so big. Rather, are they quick off the mark or does it take them some distance to get going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo 8,193 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 Silverback Gorilla Pronghorn Antellope - Rhino - Wildebeast- Lion Horse Hippo - Hare Cheetah - Ostrich - Blackbuck Antellope I've gone with land animals - to avoid any complications with taking any animals that live in the water being on a football pitch and dying because they can't breathe. Outside of the goalkeeper gorilla, I've mostly gone with speedy animals - focusing on trying to have a central core of my team that is both quick and strong. The Silverback Gorrilla is there there because he's a big fuck off beast, and silverback gorillas have incredible reaction times and are really good at catching things. Also RIP Harambe. Pronghorn Antellope are amongst the fastest land animals on the planet - so that right flank with Cheetah & Pronghorn Antellope is an absolute nightmare for the opposition. Similar, but a bit slower, on the left flank with Lion at left back (didn't want to have 2 antellopes playing fullback as that seemed a bit lightweight for a defense, and the King of the Jungle seems more defensive minded than a Cheetah imo. I've got Rhino in at CB because that's about as close as you get to a land animal that's an absolute tank. He's paired with Wildebeast, who's got substantial size and strenght as well... but a much faster recovery pace than rhinos (who aren't slow either) - so he's key for dealing with counterattacks and that rounds off what I think is a very solid animal kingdom back 4. We're not doing any back 3s because I don't do shit tactics. At DM we've got Horse. Why? Because I want the DM to be a literal workhorse. Just ahead of him is Hippo - he's quick, he's strong, he's aggressive. Between him and Horse, that's a lot of protection for the back 4... but Hippo will also be a key contributor for us having a high press and catching the opposition off guard when their canoes aqre overturned. Acting as the primary link between midfield and attack is Hare. He's not big, he's not strong - but he's small, tricky, and elusively creative - as well as bloody quick and hard to catch. Then my front 3. With the right side, I've gone with Cheetah as he's the fastest land animal and I want him giving the opposition fullbacks absolute hell. Similar idea with the Blackbuck Antellope on the left side. Then in the centre we've got Ostrich - he's awkward looking, but fast and oddly aggressive. And he's got a long neck which I assume is helpful for headers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo 8,193 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 22 minutes ago, MUFC said: The question about rhinos and hippos isn't why their dicks are so big. Rather, are they quick off the mark or does it take them some distance to get going? I dunno about rhinos, but I think hippos are quite quick from the off but they can't keep up a full sprint for too long. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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