Toinho 2,210 Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 5 hours ago, Stan said: Things going very well Got plans for engagement and wedding within next couple years. Her family are great. She's met mine and they all get on well. Couldn't ask for more right now! Awesome mate. Have you both discussed engagement and wedding? Will you live together first before engagement? I know it’s normal to, but I also think if you both know, then you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted August 27, 2019 Administrator Share Posted August 27, 2019 11 minutes ago, Toinho said: Awesome mate. Have you both discussed engagement and wedding? Will you live together first before engagement? I know it’s normal to, but I also think if you both know, then you know... Yep. Potential by 2021 summer we'll get married. Don't think we'll plan to live together before the wedding but it is the plan for her to stay with me (living with parents) after the wedding for 6-9 months while we look for a place or our own. In this day and age it's more financially viable to do that in our circumstance and it gives us a chance to save more for a deposit as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho 2,210 Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 8 hours ago, Stan said: Yep. Potential by 2021 summer we'll get married. Don't think we'll plan to live together before the wedding but it is the plan for her to stay with me (living with parents) after the wedding for 6-9 months while we look for a place or our own. In this day and age it's more financially viable to do that in our circumstance and it gives us a chance to save more for a deposit as well. Cool. How long have you been together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted August 27, 2019 Administrator Share Posted August 27, 2019 2 minutes ago, Toinho said: Cool. How long have you been together? Since Feb of this year mate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Batard 2,534 Posted August 27, 2019 Author Administrator Share Posted August 27, 2019 9 minutes ago, Stan said: Since Feb of this year mate. We've been an item since 2014 you lying fucker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry 1,437 Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 10 hours ago, True Blue said: In a month it's my one year anniversary of being married Congrats to both you and balon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry 1,437 Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 9 hours ago, Stan said: Yep. Potential by 2021 summer we'll get married. Don't think we'll plan to live together before the wedding but it is the plan for her to stay with me (living with parents) after the wedding for 6-9 months while we look for a place or our own. In this day and age it's more financially viable to do that in our circumstance and it gives us a chance to save more for a deposit as well. You live with your folks now? How do you think it would go with her there? We couldn't live together until we were married and with the family around it was hard to get any genuine privacy. It made it tough, and when you're still in the honeymoon period of a relationship that can be agonizing.... You'll probably still be in that phase by the time you're married so I could see that being quite tough unless you're place is plenty spacious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho 2,210 Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 10 minutes ago, Harry said: You live with your folks now? How do you think it would go with her there? We couldn't live together until we were married and with the family around it was hard to get any genuine privacy. It made it tough, and when you're still in the honeymoon period of a relationship that can be agonizing.... You'll probably still be in that phase by the time you're married so I could see that being quite tough unless you're place is plenty spacious. What were the circumstances around you not being able to live together before marriage? If you’re willing to share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry 1,437 Posted August 27, 2019 Share Posted August 27, 2019 2 minutes ago, Toinho said: What were the circumstances around you not being able to live together before marriage? If you’re willing to share. Strict families. Mine but particularly the wife's. And a very angry, former Kung Fu instructing father with very old school views and massive double standards for his sons compared to his daughters. Was frustrating but my wife was the eldest and wanted to abide by her families wishes. It was necessary for good long term relations with what were a very very close family that were hugely important to her (and still are). Let alone live together we'd never even stayed the night together before our wedding night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted August 28, 2019 Administrator Share Posted August 28, 2019 7 hours ago, Harry said: You live with your folks now? How do you think it would go with her there? We couldn't live together until we were married and with the family around it was hard to get any genuine privacy. It made it tough, and when you're still in the honeymoon period of a relationship that can be agonizing.... You'll probably still be in that phase by the time you're married so I could see that being quite tough unless you're place is plenty spacious. Yeah been back home for about a year. I think it'll go fine. She gets on with them like a house on fire so far and the house is pretty spacious so we won't be too constrained. Plus it's only short term after marriage. We'll have a whole life together thereafter so it's something we're both willing to do and already talked about. It's one part of tradition we're willing to stick with. In our culture the girl usually goes to live with the guy and his family straight after marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 Congrats @Stan although I’m not gonna lie I thought the same as Tommy So I just recently got together with a girl I’d been talking to for 2 years, but it’s begun to take off last year. Problem is it’s long distance, which isn’t a problem for me but it has to be between the right 2 people and I hope she’s willing to stick to this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted August 29, 2019 Administrator Share Posted August 29, 2019 39 minutes ago, Grizzly21 said: Congrats @Stan although I’m not gonna lie I thought the same as Tommy . Thanks. Which bit?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry 1,437 Posted August 29, 2019 Share Posted August 29, 2019 1 hour ago, Grizzly21 said: Congrats @Stan although I’m not gonna lie I thought the same as Tommy So I just recently got together with a girl I’d been talking to for 2 years, but it’s begun to take off last year. Problem is it’s long distance, which isn’t a problem for me but it has to be between the right 2 people and I hope she’s willing to stick to this. How far mate and how often would you see her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho 2,210 Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 Here’s a question. Those who are married or engaged - did you ask the father’s permission or whatever before proposing? If so, how’d you do it? Like, hey mate your daughter is alright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted August 31, 2019 Administrator Share Posted August 31, 2019 1 hour ago, Toinho said: Here’s a question. Those who are married or engaged - did you ask the father’s permission or whatever before proposing? If so, how’d you do it? Like, hey mate your daughter is alright. No one else answered so although not engaged yet I do plan to with my girlfriend's father. I think it's just really respectful to do so and it shows the parents how serious you are and hopefully in the father's eyes it shows the decency in you. I did it with my ex-girlfriend's father (but didn't actually get engaged). I asked her sister to make sure she takes her out for the day while her parents are in and then I travelled down to their house and had a conversation with her parents. Just said I really like your daughter and out of respect for her and yourselves, I'd like to ask for your permission to ask her to marry me. It can be quite nerve-wracking right before you ask! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf 7,161 Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 1 hour ago, Toinho said: Here’s a question. Those who are married or engaged - did you ask the father’s permission or whatever before proposing? If so, how’d you do it? Like, hey mate your daughter is alright. That's a bit of an old fashioned thing these days I would have thought but out of respect it certainly wouldn't do you any harm to ask.. It also depends on her background/religion etc.. there might be a certain way you go about doing things that is common or expected within that culture for example... I certainly wouldn't be saying to him "hey mate your daughter is alright" You will have to ditch that Aussie caveman routine and also get your hair cut or he might think his daughter is a lesbian... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho 2,210 Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 48 minutes ago, Bluewolf said: That's a bit of an old fashioned thing these days I would have thought but out of respect it certainly wouldn't do you any harm to ask.. It also depends on her background/religion etc.. there might be a certain way you go about doing things that is common or expected within that culture for example... I certainly wouldn't be saying to him "hey mate your daughter is alright" You will have to ditch that Aussie caveman routine and also get your hair cut or he might think his daughter is a lesbian... Haha obviously didn’t mean the last bit! Don’t be jealous of the hair!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho 2,210 Posted August 31, 2019 Share Posted August 31, 2019 58 minutes ago, Stan said: No one else answered so although not engaged yet I do plan to with my girlfriend's father. I think it's just really respectful to do so and it shows the parents how serious you are and hopefully in the father's eyes it shows the decency in you. I did it with my ex-girlfriend's father (but didn't actually get engaged). I asked her sister to make sure she takes her out for the day while her parents are in and then I travelled down to their house and had a conversation with her parents. Just said I really like your daughter and out of respect for her and yourselves, I'd like to ask for your permission to ask her to marry me. It can be quite nerve-wracking right before you ask! I feel the same, if I was to ever think about marriage, I reckon I’d want to talk to the father first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC 1,503 Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 On 27/08/2019 at 12:16, Stick With Azeem said: Arranged marriage in the sense that my parents introduce me to someone and i also find her interesting ? Very likely, but in the sense that I'm tied up with someone not at all. With Asian parents you can never know though, they can come up with the most unlikely contender The girls in East is East? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry 1,437 Posted September 1, 2019 Share Posted September 1, 2019 On 31/08/2019 at 15:05, Toinho said: Here’s a question. Those who are married or engaged - did you ask the father’s permission or whatever before proposing? If so, how’d you do it? Like, hey mate your daughter is alright. Yeah I did, it was fucking awkward. I sat both her parents down and presented then a $330 bottle of Dom Perignon champagne and asked their permission, based on a set of words is composed beforehand. They were cool. That bottle was meant to be opened at the engagement, then wedding, then birth or baptism of our kids but we keep forgetting as nobody really drinks the stuff... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber RandoEFC+ 7,664 Posted September 1, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted September 1, 2019 On 27/08/2019 at 10:31, Stan said: Yep. My parents are quite liberal as opposed to your more traditional Asian parents. They've always said as long as I'm happy they'd support me. I know they're preference is always a Gujarati Indian girl (which my current gf is) but wouldn't be end of the world of not. They definitely thought you were going to grow up to be gay when they said this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber JoshBRFC+ 1,388 Posted October 7, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted October 7, 2019 Split with the Mother of my child. Unfortunately after trying for a while, we agreed it wasn't working any more. So i left her with everything and i've started from scratch in my own place. Surprisingly i'm in a better place mentally than i thought i would be. Hate dropping my daughter off and leaving her etc that's the 1 thing i struggle with.. but we've kept a good relationship and it's very amicable for her sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted October 7, 2019 Administrator Share Posted October 7, 2019 4 minutes ago, JOSHBRFC said: Split with the Mother of my child. Unfortunately after trying for a while, we agreed it wasn't working any more. So i left her with everything and i've started from scratch in my own place. Surprisingly i'm in a better place mentally than i thought i would be. Hate dropping my daughter off and leaving her etc that's the 1 thing i struggle with.. but we've kept a good relationship and it's very amicable for her sake. Sad to hear mate (I thought you'd split before but sounds like you tried to give it a go again?). The last bit is the most important bit - your child needs to see as much as possible a 'happy' relationship between the parents instead of constant fighting, arguing, bickering etc so it's good to see there's the amicable side still there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf 7,161 Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 1 hour ago, JOSHBRFC said: Split with the Mother of my child. Unfortunately after trying for a while, we agreed it wasn't working any more. So i left her with everything and i've started from scratch in my own place. Surprisingly i'm in a better place mentally than i thought i would be. Hate dropping my daughter off and leaving her etc that's the 1 thing i struggle with.. but we've kept a good relationship and it's very amicable for her sake. Shame it never worked out mate... On the plus side you may find having your own space and time alone does tend to clear the mind as you have already mentioned.. Good that you are both keeping things balanced for your daughters sake though.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
True Blue 971 Posted October 7, 2019 Share Posted October 7, 2019 15 minutes ago, JOSHBRFC said: Split with the Mother of my child. Unfortunately after trying for a while, we agreed it wasn't working any more. So i left her with everything and i've started from scratch in my own place. Surprisingly i'm in a better place mentally than i thought i would be. Hate dropping my daughter off and leaving her etc that's the 1 thing i struggle with.. but we've kept a good relationship and it's very amicable for her sake. Sorry to hear this mate, especially for the daughter part. Glad you are better now as people who love each other can stop, stop loving or stop trying. Don't let it get you down, and it is good that you and your ex are left on a good note meaning it will be easier for your daughter to accept it. I was without my father since i was 5 and he never really gave a effort to try with me, that is probably why we have no contact as he wants it now almost 30 years after and asks other people about my wife and photos of my wedding etc. Never be that man but knowing you from this forum i know it won't be that but the opposite of it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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