DeadLinesman 5,938 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Gents, if you’ve been with your Mrs long enough, marriage changes nothing. It’s just more expensive to get out of. As for kids, best thing you’ll ever do. Only you’ll tell yourself the complete opposite nearly every single fucking day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry 1,437 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 On 19/02/2020 at 14:15, Dan said: Ever properly fancied someone you work with? Sighs. What's the situation mate? Do you have a good relationship with the person? Is it flirtatious? Any signs of reciprocity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted February 20, 2020 Administrator Share Posted February 20, 2020 12 hours ago, Dr. Gonzo said: Anytime any one of my friends or my wifes friends has a baby/gets pregnant I always get nervous as fuck that it'll lead to pressure to have a fucking kid. Reeeaaally want to push that off for as long as possible (if not for eternity). My mate is in same situation as you and got a puppy instead - it seems to have done the trick in postponing having children for a couple years at least Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted February 20, 2020 Administrator Share Posted February 20, 2020 On 19/02/2020 at 03:15, Dan said: Ever properly fancied someone you work with? Sighs. What's his name? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,360 Posted February 20, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted February 20, 2020 2 minutes ago, Stan said: My mate is in same situation as you and got a puppy instead - it seems to have done the trick in postponing having children for a couple years at least My old man should have got a puppy for my mum, there was 9 of us in the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 4 hours ago, DeadLinesman said: Gents, if you’ve been with your Mrs long enough, marriage changes nothing. It’s just more expensive to get out of. As for kids, best thing you’ll ever do. Only you’ll tell yourself the complete opposite nearly every single fucking day. This is absolutely spot on. Wife and I drove each other nuts before marriage, and have since getting married. We have been together now for almost a decade and are currently in the 'worst' spell probably in that decade. All topics have been on the table, especially splitting up and divorce, but the thing we keep going back to is the fact that we have a kid. At times, you want to curse the kid and get mad at yourself for agreeing to it, but really the truth is that it's the best thing that has happened to me. Wife and I are trying to figure out if it's best to work through and just 'fake it until you make it', or to go our separate ways and raise our kids showing our daughter how to be happy, even in apart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
True Blue 971 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Sorry to hear that mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeadLinesman 5,938 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 23 minutes ago, Eco said: This is absolutely spot on. Wife and I drove each other nuts before marriage, and have since getting married. We have been together now for almost a decade and are currently in the 'worst' spell probably in that decade. All topics have been on the table, especially splitting up and divorce, but the thing we keep going back to is the fact that we have a kid. At times, you want to curse the kid and get mad at yourself for agreeing to it, but really the truth is that it's the best thing that has happened to me. Wife and I are trying to figure out if it's best to work through and just 'fake it until you make it', or to go our separate ways and raise our kids showing our daughter how to be happy, even in apart. Drop me a line if you need a chat bro x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beelzebub 2,508 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 As someone who grew up watching my parents hit an all time low in their marriage during my childhood it's better to have two happy but separated parents than unhappy but together, but i think it's a bit different for girls and varies from child to child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 1 hour ago, DeadLinesman said: Drop me a line if you need a chat bro x Cheers - I honestly can't see a way out of it from here. But I do think it's been a long time coming. My wife struggles A LOT with her emotions and have been prescribed a pharmacy worth of drugs..which she takes. She used to lean heavily on her Father for support and always being there, but he met a woman in November and they are getting married and moving away...and so it's all gathered up steam where neither of us are happy, I am positive it's effecting our daughter which kills me, wife thinks it's all my fault so is demanding I go to therapy, but I tell her that I don't think it's the issue, and I'm that I'm not sure that forcing someone into therapy is a the right answer. I tell her I just need a few tweaks and I'm happy, mainly just small habit changes, but she is requiring a massive overhaul. Just another example of being on totally separate pages. Last night she gave me until Sunday to decide whether to make changes and go to therapy, so move out...so we shall see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo 8,190 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 2 minutes ago, Eco said: Cheers - I honestly can't see a way out of it from here. But I do think it's been a long time coming. My wife struggles A LOT with her emotions and have been prescribed a pharmacy worth of drugs..which she takes. She used to lean heavily on her Father for support and always being there, but he met a woman in November and they are getting married and moving away...and so it's all gathered up steam where neither of us are happy, I am positive it's effecting our daughter which kills me, wife thinks it's all my fault so is demanding I go to therapy, but I tell her that I don't think it's the issue, and I'm that I'm not sure that forcing someone into therapy is a the right answer. I tell her I just need a few tweaks and I'm happy, mainly just small habit changes, but she is requiring a massive overhaul. Just another example of being on totally separate pages. Last night she gave me until Sunday to decide whether to make changes and go to therapy, so move out...so we shall see. Is couples therapy an option for her therapy ultimatum? Thats shit though mate, sorry to hear that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Just now, Dr. Gonzo said: Is couples therapy an option for her therapy ultimatum? Thats shit though mate, sorry to hear that We did couples therapy...and honestly, it was just my wife and I talking to one another while the therapist nodded every 30 or so minutes. I thought it was useless and got in the shit house for suggesting that she didn't want to help us because as a therapist, she makes more money on repeat business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted February 20, 2020 Administrator Share Posted February 20, 2020 Sorry to hear of your situation @Eco, had no idea things had got to such a situation. Not that I've ever been in the situation so any advice/thoughts are merely hypothetical but it feels odd reading this: 7 minutes ago, Eco said: Last night she gave me until Sunday to decide whether to make changes and go to therapy, so move out...so we shall see. Doesn't seem right or fair that an ultimatum on time or something that could take time is given to you only. How would she respond with such an ultimatum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 1 minute ago, Stan said: Doesn't seem right or fair that an ultimatum on time or something that could take time is given to you only. How would she respond with such an ultimatum? Yeah, she said that she doesn't care, that she deserves to be happy and that she won't stay here if nothing changes. Honestly, if we didn't have a child, it'd be SUPER easy. But, we have a kid so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber RandoEFC+ 7,664 Posted February 20, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted February 20, 2020 I love how this thread bounces post by post between being the most supportive area anywhere on the website to being the source of more immature gay, bald and age jokes than anywhere else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,360 Posted February 20, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted February 20, 2020 Relationships nowadays can be a bastard, to be honest, there's me and the wife been married for 40 odd years but our son got a divorce after 13 years of marriage with one son to show and our daughter split up from her long term partner of 15 years and with 2 sons, so that's me and the wife watching over son, daughter and 3 grandsons, as I said to them "Life goes on, just get on with it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Yeah - I'm not sure what's going on. I know what I want, but I have no idea what she wants. I could remain married to my wife granted if some small habits were tweaked, but she seems to be completely done with everything UNLESS I met her demands of therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ 5,360 Posted February 20, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted February 20, 2020 2 minutes ago, Eco said: but she seems to be completely done with everything UNLESS I met her demands of therapy. The only therapy I have had is from the wife over the years if I annoyed her when I have been drunk and she has kicked me in the nuts, and that's true buddy...and it bloody hurts but I got the message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted February 20, 2020 Administrator Share Posted February 20, 2020 10 minutes ago, Eco said: Yeah, she said that she doesn't care, that she deserves to be happy and that she won't stay here if nothing changes. Honestly, if we didn't have a child, it'd be SUPER easy. But, we have a kid so... 6 minutes ago, Eco said: Yeah - I'm not sure what's going on. I know what I want, but I have no idea what she wants. I could remain married to my wife granted if some small habits were tweaked, but she seems to be completely done with everything UNLESS I met her demands of therapy. Sounds like she needs the ultimatum! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 4 minutes ago, Stan said: Sounds like she needs the ultimatum! Yeah, not my style. We shall see what happens. I'm not against Therapy (even though I don't know how well it works), but to be given an ultimatum makes my ego want to tell her to fuck off quite frankly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan 18,386 Posted February 20, 2020 Administrator Share Posted February 20, 2020 3 minutes ago, Eco said: Yeah, not my style. We shall see what happens. I'm not against Therapy (even though I don't know how well it works), but to be given an ultimatum makes my ego want to tell her to fuck off quite frankly. Unsurprisingly so. It seems unfair she gets to call the shots when it's a 2-way street to make these things work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 1 minute ago, Stan said: Unsurprisingly so. It seems unfair she gets to call the shots when it's a 2-way street to make these things work. Yeah, so we will see what happens. Kills to think of leaving my daughter and moving out, but thrills me to bits to think of leaving my wife and allowing me to live in a stress free, clean, house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Gonzo 8,190 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 10 minutes ago, Eco said: Yeah, so we will see what happens. Kills to think of leaving my daughter and moving out, but thrills me to bits to think of leaving my wife and allowing me to live in a stress free, clean, house. That just sounds so tough to deal with. Hope everything goes well. Tbh that ultimatum thing would probably piss me right off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eco 3,008 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 2 minutes ago, Dr. Gonzo said: That just sounds so tough to deal with. Hope everything goes well. Tbh that ultimatum thing would probably piss me right off Yep. I'm right there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber nudge+ 15,328 Posted February 20, 2020 Subscriber Share Posted February 20, 2020 Yeah hope it works out well for you; one way or the other. Giving ultimatums is just immature as fuck; it's pretty much threatening someone with consequences if they don't get what they want. It takes two to make any relationship work and it's very very rarely (if ever) a fault of one person if things aren't working out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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