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Dating, Relationships and Marriage Thread


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1 minute ago, Batard said:

The items you listed there, that goes without saying, I wasn't reflecting on things quite as traumatic as those.  

I feel that people of ky generation are loving in polar extremes. Afraid of sex, the diseases, the responsibility of children, accusations of 'rape', being raped; or they are far too casual, freely aborting children without remorse, witholding information of carried diseases, and abandoning children. Sexual education is in a rock and a hard place, teach them roo young and run the risks of creating a celibate generation, teach them too late and you've an epidemic of pregnancy. 

I feel I was at the optimal age when I first had sex, not too young to be twisted by pubescent emotions and not too old to be twisted by bitterness towards the fairer sex. I think I was 19?  Some of my friends have very twisted views on sex; one of them almost sees it as a transaction between men and women and feels bitter when 'his end of the bargain' isn't upheld.

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27 minutes ago, Tanksie said:

I think sex is as intimate as you want it to be. Or, you have different sex with different people.

That is impossible because it's between two people (or more, hubba hubba). No single person decides what it is.

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8 minutes ago, Tanksie said:

Yes and no. I tend to lead, that's all I can say really.

Well, not really. What if one person believes it to be serious while the other just thinks it's a fling? It takes two to tango. Think about it, this is why rape is such a touchy subject without clear definition these days.

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3 minutes ago, Tanksie said:

So my next fling will accuse me of rape if I smash rather than make love? Bit paranoid.

No, mainly because that isn't even close to what I said, implied, hinted at, signified, gestured towards, insinuated, entailed, etc. I posted the word 'five' and you read 'ten'.

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  • 1 month later...
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bit of a rocky patch at the moment for me and my missus, despite having a really good holiday few weeks ago. We appear to have different priorities. She doesn't want an Indian wedding. I do (even compromise to keep it small). She doesn't like that I go to watch sport whereas she always wants to go on holiday.

She also wants me to move to London away from my family/friends who I'm very close to and always have been. I've said that one day eventually I will probably do it but I've finally got a bit of calmness and settled feel about my life and I don't want to disrupt that just now (I think that's fair). I also want to save up for a nice wedding and a decent house which becomes more difficult if I'm forking out for holidays (and she's not one to look for cheap holidays) every few months. it's hard enough saving as it is while trying to enjoy life but I want to save up to not just live and get by every day.

I want to save up for myself, herself, our family if/when we have one and make sure we/they have a good life. Comparatively, she wants to have everything now, in the present, and because she earns more than me she is able to do that. Deep down I don't think she fully appreciates that I have a flat and a mortgage and bills to pay off each month whereas she's living at home with parents...

Tough times at the moment and although we both want to work it out with each other it's hard to see the answer or solution right now :( 

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2 minutes ago, Anton said:

Are you engaged? Talking about marriage! I've never had that point of my relationships. Although the girl I dated last did hint at something.

no but I'm planning to propose this year. This is the first time in any relationship I've ever had that it's got to this stage and I've seriously chatted about getting engaged/marriage.

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Had our two year anniversary a couple of weeks back, never thought I'd be in such a comfortable relationship, pretty stress free. She's wonderful - I get freedom. Big decisions down the road which will loom larger as time goes on but trying to avoid such difficult conversations for now.

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I've had a casual thing since about February but won't be continuing due to me returning to the Isle of Man this month. Typically, it suddenly seems to go from casual to there actually being some feeling there as soon as me moving away becomes close enough for it to be reality xD.

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1 minute ago, RandoEFC said:

I've had a casual thing since about February but won't be continuing due to me returning to the Isle of Man this month. Typically, it suddenly seems to go from casual to there actually being some feeling there as soon as me moving away becomes close enough for it to be reality xD.

Had a couple of casual things. Terrible really. One person gets attracted. I much prefer being in a relationship where both you and your partner are feeling the emotion. The sex is basically better too.

 

Stan, good luck mate.

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8 minutes ago, Cannabis said:

Will there be elephants at your wedding?

if Dan turns up then yeah. 

 

6 minutes ago, Storts said:

Had our two year anniversary a couple of weeks back, never thought I'd be in such a comfortable relationship, pretty stress free. She's wonderful - I get freedom. Big decisions down the road which will loom larger as time goes on but trying to avoid such difficult conversations for now.

how you think it will go when those conversations are had?

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1 minute ago, Anton said:

Had a couple of casual things. Terrible really. One person gets attracted. I much prefer being in a relationship where both you and your partner are feeling the emotion. The sex is basically better too.

 

Stan, good luck mate.

agree with this. you kind of need to be on the same page from early on and the earlier you establish that the better.

Cheers mate. 

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I've always preferred a relationship. It's a strange one as the feeling is mutual on this occasion, we'd probably have been "in a relationship" if not for knowing I'm moving in July. We've pretty much been acting as such.

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20 minutes ago, Stan said:

if Dan turns up then yeah. 

 

how you think it will go when those conversations are had?

Not sure to be honest -  I don't want to move there, not for years yet anyway. She's very family orientated so would be tough to leave them. Ultimately girls always get their own way

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Just now, Storts said:

Not sure to be honest -  I don't want to move there, not for years yet anyway. She's very family orientated so would be tough to leave them. Ultimately girls always get their own way

where is 'there' just out of interest? 

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Sorry to hear that Stan. I've never had that sort of worry myself, always been lucky in that sense but I can imagine it's a gut wrench thinking about how she truly perceives you and your responsibilities away from the relationship. 

 

In the last month or so me and the missus had our first "row"...i put that in quotation marks because neither of us got angry, it didn't get heated, we just had a disagreement about something silly (as you do, and it was my fault) and we ended up barely speaking for a day or two...obviously when it's the early stages of a relationship, this sort of thing can be a killer, but I can honestly say that it's made me change my mentality for the better and I have becone a lot more laid back. Its weird the effect this woman has had on me so far, she's fucking amazing. She can be a pain in the arse sometimes and a cheeky shit, but i couldnt imagine my life right now without the lass.

Sorry for the soppy bollock ending, I'm gonna go cut down a tree to regain man points. 

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