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Me and my mum and me and the wife all on holiday in Turkey. Had to buy the silly hat because I was suffering with the sun on the Dalyan River cruise

It is perfectly normal to feel how you are @Spike, you aren't alone. I had a major mental health wobble a few years ago (when I left the forum) and sadly followed that up with another wobble a month or so ago, to the point where I'm speaking with a therapist as I was very close to pushing the suicide button. As bad as telling my wife that I didn't want to be around anymore, something which absolutely haunts me. There is a mental health crisis at the moment, due to lockdowns etc but to be honest the stigma has meant that it's never been talked about. People opening up like you have is a small step onto the right path, I don't have any magic words of wisdom but I'd stress you to speak to someone and get things off your chest in a professional setting and give yourself the comfort that there's thousands (probably millions) of people that feel just like you do. My PM's are always open mate, please speak to me if you ever want to x

A visit yesterday from our son & partner and Brea, she loves the wife's macaroni in a cheese sauce and gulped a doggy bowl full down.

Don’t give up mate, that’s the biggest thing. And talking about it really does help. At the end of the day, we kind of ARE like a family here. Probably spend more time with you cunts than anyone else, so really don’t want to see anyone in this position. If it helps, I’ve got a Mrs that is going through something similar right now and as much as I’m trying to hold it together, I’m the bread winner with a full time job, 3 kids, 2 sets of chicken pox, 2 stomach bugs and a wife that’s pretty much useless at the moment due to her mental health. It’s absolutely suffocating, but being on here is the escape from the reality. The next step is what happens one you put the technology down and step back into the ‘real world’. I would definitely suggest getting back on some form of medication alongside therapy. You only need the medication to take the edge off. Being a zombie was definitely wrong and not the way forward. Secondly, family. Don’t think of this as blood only. Do you have any good mates socially that you’re close with? Any footy/hockey/sports you do that can take your mind of things? Anything to take the edge off that feeling that you’re alone in the world. Honestly, we’re all open as staff to a DM if you need a chat. But more than just staff, as an ‘internet mate’, I’m here for you as well. We’ve all got our own shit going on, but it should never get to the point where we’re coasting through life not feeling anything. I genuinely think Covid and the situations we’ve faced as a society has changed us as a species, and not for the better unfortunately. The world seems to be going tits up and subconsciously, I think it’s getting to all of us no matter what country/continent we live in/on. Head up chief.

Thanks everyone, I don’t feel as alone as I did when I wrote it all out. It’s easy to fall into negativity and it thrives on itself. Today I’m forcing myself to be positive, optimistic, decided to make changes. Even if they aren’t permanent they are short term goals I can achieve, and I think it is important ti set little tasks for yourself to stay busy and improving. There is a beer festival for work coming up, I was super excited to go about a month ago, but now it’s causing me nothing but stress. So I put my foot down and said I’m not going, I have to take care of myself and being around a bunch of pissheads isn’t for the best. I’m gonna cut down on the grog, for the time being, I hadn’t been drinking much but I feel like it’s a easy trap. In a three way tie of morality, frugality, and health, in decide to also cut down on meat consumption and eat more vegetables and fruits. It’s been about 5 days so far, so let’s see how low it lasts. In better news though I’ve lost over 5kg since I started at work. @DeadLinesman Huge respect to you mate, nothing but admiration shouldering burdens like that. Be careful mate, don’t burn out, take care of yourself as well. @Whiskey I guess we are probably more alike then we realise. From what I’ve read it’s like reading something I could have wrote myself. I’ve got your back too mate, sincerely.

Consider yourself lucky, @DeadLinesman has to wear a Sombrero everywhere he goes to keep his head sunburn free... He also wears a fake tash so nobody recognises him when he is out shopping at Lidl..

My ex had treatment resistant bi polar disorder. I lived with her for a year and it was my task to clean that uncleanable tea cup and everything else on those days, which went from once or twice a fortnight to 5 or 6 days a week over the course of a year. Man what you go through is a fucking battle.

Jesus Christ, your situation sounds pretty serious as well. I hope your wife feels better soon, and that you all can return to somewhat of a normalcy. And here as well. I had no idea. Glad you're still with us, mate. I hope those awful thoughts are truly behind you.

They'd even get the crusades wrong because for the most part it was just a way for the church to funnel warlike feudal lords into ransacking the levant instead of eachother and to bring gold and plunders back to Europe. Hang on that sounds like something else...

Ron DeSantis tweeting about how he's "shocked" by this news very much reminds me of this:

I don't know why republicans are crying about the raid on Trump's house. It's not like there wasn't a warrant - there was a warrant. The FBI has asked him to turn over missing White House documents many times. That they had to ask for a warrant to go and get them is telling. It's not some random warrantless search. It's not something the Trump team would have thought beyond the realm of possibility (at least if they have competent lawyers) - when you don't produce documents the FBI asks for but has evidence that you have in your possession... it's always likely a warrant can be granted. It's kind of pathetic too, when they talk about the politicisation of the justice department after they spent years harping on about Clinton and having a criminal investigation into her... which resulted in a finding that she didn't do anything wrong, after tarnishing her reputation before the election. The hypocrisy is actually quite hilarious. I can only assume the documents perhaps contain some damning information on these politicians crying the loudest right now.

This is where you’re failing to grasp the absolute shit show that is Manchester United. Moyes, Van Gaal, Mourinho and Ole weren’t backed with what they needed (different from what we spent/got). It’s not happening for Ten Hag now. Conte would have been no different. He’d have just kicked up a fuss and left.

I gave Stray a run today morning and its quite the interesting game. I feel like the cat mechanics had to be the way they are just because you know it would turn into a nightmare for players getting stuck in the city if it was a free-form game but overall its quite a nice story.

Grealish was. But De Bruyne had a goal disallowed and was his usual self. Foden played pretty well on the right.

These are the sorts of dipshits that wish the crusades never ended because they never saw their skyman bring about what was promised in the book that was written that they think controls everyone's life. Religious extremists are scum, doesn't matter what religion it is and where in the world they come from. The religious right of the US is desperate to create such a absolute shitshow in the Middle East that the war envelopes the holy lands, because they think that's what's necessary for their prophesy to come true. Which tbh is a bit funny... because where's their faith in their God? Shouldn't they just have to be good Christians and follow the teachings of Christ and be patient for it to eventually happen? But that'd probably require them to do things like: care about poor people or... read more of the Bible than the quotes their hyperpartisan pastors and priests have cherry picked to make their political point. They're no different from the Wahhabi scum they pretend to be so much better than. Just a different flavour of scum, but still absolute scum.

Conte at this United squad would be a hilarious disaster. These are players that got sick of Solksjaer and Rangnick telling them what to do and stopped giving a fuck. Conte would have them physically exhausted after the first training session and they'd decide "yeah, fuck this we're not playing for that angry Italian guy." And he'd want to overhaul the squad because... why the fuck wouldn't he? And the Glazers would be like "no no no that costs too much money, just get these overpaid dickheads we've already got to actually perform" all while they'd quickly decide they don't like this manager and he's no fun so they don't want to give a shit for him.

To be fair, if FDJ saw yesterday's game and the players we have for starting 11, I am pretty sure he would rather get like 90% pay cut at Barcelona and save himself from any potential mental issues like falling into depression after few weeks at United.

Rabiot turned his nose up at us when we expressed interest (when we weren't in the CL) so not sure this will work. Scattergun, calamitous and desperate. Nobody has a clue what they are doing. Not Ten Haag's fault, he needs time and backing but above him...ludicrous. It's like other teams and their players can have a real good laugh and just play United along when they go in for something. Does Neville want to stand by his remarks that Conte was wrong for United because he doesn't get the precious, precious DNA? Does he want to look at Spurs and United now in terms of the transfer window, our best players and how they now feel and this season's potential? United do not need cretinous, odious creeps like the Glazer's, what they do need is someone totally hardheaded and practical who will put the club's best interests on the pitch first and who won't listen to a word these nostalgic-for-Ferguson ex pros say. I'm not sure how much evidence United need that McTominay and Fred are mid-table players at best and possess nowhere near the quality required. That they finished second a couple of years back when the only team in the league were City? Liverpool had an utterly freak list of injuries that proved their blip was a one-season disaster only, Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal were in major states of flux and now those three teams have got their acts together to differing levels. Who is it that actually thinks McTominay and Fred will somehow take United where they want to go?

Spike, wishing you the best in this struggle mate, and also applaud the bravery of your post. I have my own demons and I understand a lot of what you said there. I think you're right about the impact of the isolation. That's bound to be a big impact and hopefully something that can be addressed with some changes like moving closer to home as you mentioned being on the cards. I hope you don't fixate too much about losing passions for hobbies over time, this happens to almost everyone. For example with football for me. And I felt down about it and started to psychoanalyse it. But what I realised with football was that what really made me love it in the first place was that it brought me together with people, and it had stopped doing that, because circumstances changed as I grew older... I went from watching it with my football team at the pub with regularity, and watching it at home in order to talk about the matches at training, and having a girlfriend that liked football more than I did, who watched games with me, whereas now days I left the football team, my wife is apathetic and I don't really have any real life friends I talk football with. This saps alot of the best bits out of it. Best not too put too much pressure on yourself to feel a certain way, as it can amplify any negative feelings. Hope you feel better soon mate

Not going to be an armchair shrink here, but I do hope you feel better soon eventually. And I hope you reach out to someone like this in "real life" as well, and maybe get the help and support you need.

Thanks John, I really do appreciate it. I think we are a lot more frail then we think we are, a lot of put on a brave face and make it seem like we are invincible but we've all been through the motions, I went through a similar thing to your wife. My most vivid memory, more vivid than even my wedding, or any other joyous moment, is the death of my grandfather. I remember everything, where it happened, the date, the time, the conversations, it was 24th of February 2008, my 14th birthday, it was just after lunch, around 3pm. I was sitting outside listening to an iPod I was given that morning as a gift, my grandfather had been gardening in the side yard at my nan's request. He was talking to me about my acne, it was bad and painful at the time, he mentioned when he was my age his father told him [piss on his hands and rub the urine on his face to kill the acne]. I wasn't sure about his advice and thought he was messing with me but he was dead serious. Then he went stiff and starting convulsing, I didn't know what was happening immediately, and still I thought he was messing with me but then it become painfully clear to me that he was having some sort of fit. I ran away to get someone, barefoot, my feet were cut up by rocks and sticks. He died. I was the last person to speak with him, I was the last person to see him alive, I was the person that saw him die. My family was so overcome with grief nobody stopped to think of me, the only person that gave me any thought was my friend that I called that evening, he came around and we watched Pulp Fiction. A week later he was buried, I didn't go to the Wake, instead I stayed home and my friend came to visit. We stole some beers and afterwards butterscotch schnaps, my friend invited around a girl he was keen on, I didn't pay her any attention, I didn't care if she was here or there, nothing really mattered. I saw people who hadn't been in our lives come and go as the funeral did, I was angry that they showed up for his death when they weren't there for his life, I felt angry that they had the nerve to grieve like I was. I still have nightmares about it, sometimes I think it may as well still be the 24th of February 2008, I don't think that day ever really ended for me.

Wee Kaiden has just come home after being away on holiday for 2 weeks and the two cats are following him around everywhere, I gather they missed him.

Olivia Newton John has passed away age 73.. RIP