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Beard and Moustache Corner


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As you get older, your mind turns towards the important things in life. Facial hair.

I haven't shaved properly for two weeks in the attempt of growing a quality lockdown goatee. It's absolutely pathetic. It's more silver and grey than anything.

Who here sports a mighty beard or filthy tache?

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9 minutes ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I sometimes grow that uni student "Look at me I've got a shit tache" Mustache. Funny story, every time I do I seem to get laid. I'm sure it has to be a case of correlation not causation though.  

That is because that is the style in Australia. Mullets and moustaches get the ladies. Why do you think tradies always look like hipsters?

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2 minutes ago, Spike said:

That is because that is the style in Australia. Mullets and moustaches get the ladies. Why do you think tradies always look like hipsters?

I grew a mullet exactly once. It was the most Penrith looking piece of shit you'd ever seen however so I discarded it after a single afternoon 

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1 hour ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I grew a mullet exactly once. It was the most Penrith looking piece of shit you'd ever seen however so I discarded it after a single afternoon 

I accidentally had a mullet once. I shaved in a blonde mohawk and it grew into a mullet after a month when it wasn't gelled up

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Usually have a bit of stubble but trimmed neatly (as best I can lol ) 

Grew it out over lockdown earlier. Went about 3-4 weeks without shaving then got bored of the itchiness and just didn't like it. 

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2 hours ago, Dr. Gonzo said:

I have a beard right now. I go between being clean shaven and having a full beard. I’ve never done a mustache or a goatee though - I think mustaches are weird and a goatee would be a pain in the arse to maintain

Is that because you get depressed about what you've just done after you've shaven it off and grow it back as a result? That's happened to me twice now. 

Going from full beard to shaven or stubble is a horrible experience because of the tricks it plays on your mind. First your head looks tiny after you've done it. Then your jaw line is unrecognisable and your face looks round. You're left with this perception that you have this round tiny head that you've never seen in your life time. Looking in the mirror and not knowing yourself is a weird experience. For days you go to stroke your beard and there's nothing there, awkward. It's like when you've worn a watch for years and then you stop, you still turn your wrist to look at the time and then feel like a twat when you see there is no watch there.

 

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Often go unshaven and that can vary in length depending on how long I am off work for simply because I am lazy and not because I am trying to grow it... There is as much chance of me sporting a goatee as there is me walking around wearing a bowler hat.. just not going to happen.. I did sport a goatee for my mates birthday for a laugh once though a while back to try and wind the wife up a bit but no fucker took a  blind bit of notice.. not even a small whiff of disapproval 

Strange because having it just felt like the batteries had run out on my shaver and I had no choice but to leave it... I do experiment with shapes though and handlebar moustaches and all that while shaving just to amuse myself but it all comes off in the end.. 

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8 hours ago, Stan said:

Usually have a bit of stubble but trimmed neatly (as best I can lol ) 

Grew it out over lockdown earlier. Went about 3-4 weeks without shaving then got bored of the itchiness and just didn't like it. 

This is absolutely where I am right now. The itching is insane [Insert STD joke here]

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38 minutes ago, CaaC (John) said:

I have tried the beard bit many a time but it looks shit and comes out light brown and grey so I just have my normal tash.

Are you rocking a tash without a beard? That's a tough look to pull off without looking like a right filth monger xD

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1 hour ago, Batard said:

Are you rocking a tash without a beard? That's a tough look to pull off without looking like a right filth monger xD

The beard bit did the wifes head-in, she said I looked like a right weirdo, she doesn't mind the tash though.

For some reason trying to grow beards over the years, I have never been successful as they would come out a light brown colour and nowadays with grey bits but our son when he does not shave his is jet black and that's what I would like.  

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1 hour ago, CaaC (John) said:

Me a few years back without a beard or tash having a beer with a mate of mine called 'Bones', he was never successful in growing either, top or bottom :hh:  xD

1649410014_download(2).png.485ebffe9767fb44816fb879c32aa058.png

 

I don't see any body with you. 

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When the lockdown started I thought it was a good time to grow a beard and I mean a full one so I tried. Then it got itchy so I tried the warm soap thing and while it does relieve the itchiness its a terrible pain to do it and there are instances where you'll get past the warm phase and if you live in dry areas your whole face starts to itch after a while. 

Azeem has the right idea with trimming it and that really does keep it quite well. I shaved it all off at the start of July, got on a vid-call and got asked if I was of legal drinking age so I relate to anyone that says the years literally get shaved off when you get rid of a beard.

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8 hours ago, Harvsky said:

Is that because you get depressed about what you've just done after you've shaven it off and grow it back as a result? That's happened to me twice now. 

Going from full beard to shaven or stubble is a horrible experience because of the tricks it plays on your mind. First your head looks tiny after you've done it. Then your jaw line is unrecognisable and your face looks round. You're left with this perception that you have this round tiny head that you've never seen in your life time. Looking in the mirror and not knowing yourself is a weird experience. For days you go to stroke your beard and there's nothing there, awkward. It's like when you've worn a watch for years and then you stop, you still turn your wrist to look at the time and then feel like a twat when you see there is no watch there.

 

Yep, you summed that up pretty perfectly

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