Subscriber JoshBRFC+ Posted January 18, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted January 18, 2019 I remember posting on the old forum years ago about having a serious break up with the woman i'm with now. Well we obviously got back together and then the best day of my life 7/8 months ago when she gave birth to my daughter. We've been together since late 2013. Well..... we're potentially splitting up. I actually take the blame i think i've hurt her too much over the years with certain demons i've been facing in my head and being a closed book. I've been in denial about all sorts, pretending i've been okay when i haven't been. I've actually had counselling for the last few weeks and the woman thinks it links back to my Father dying. It feels so weird opening up and being honest about everything. However regarding my partner it's probably too late and too much has been done/said/happened. Mainly lies, i was lying to myself about all sorts and it became easy to lie to her. I love my partner and splitting up will be tough but the thing that i can't bare the thought of is not living with my daughter and spending every day with her and coming home from work to her etc. Tough times ahead. Word of advice people - when people who care about you ask you how you are, never pretend you're okay when you're not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan Posted January 18, 2019 Administrator Share Posted January 18, 2019 Very sorry to hear that @JOSHBRFC. Sounds like a very unfortunate situation you've ended up in but the positives are that you've opened up (better late than never!) and now you can focus on how to work around giving your daughter the best life, which is what it should be about. At least, from what you've said, you've got the weight off your chest to now deal with things by opening up... I think if you do split up for good and find yourself away from your daughter some days and alone, it'll be more important than ever to realise you can talk to people, be it your friends, your counsellor or someone on here (only a DM away!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber Pyfish+ Posted January 18, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted January 18, 2019 Still recovering from a breakup myself. Lost quite a few mutual friends as they were her friends originally. Moved back home to Grimsby and now starting to work on myself a bit so that when a new girl comes along, I'm in the best possible place for myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Batard Posted January 18, 2019 Author Administrator Share Posted January 18, 2019 It almost feels out of place given the posts this precedes but I proposed to my partner tonight. After she asked whether I was being serious or not, she said yes. With my divorce to my ex being finalised and a daughter with my current partner, it kinda felt the right time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 2 minutes ago, Batard said: It almost feels out of place given the posts this precedes but I proposed to my partner tonight. After she asked whether I was being serious or not, she said yes. With my divorce to my ex being finalised and with a daughter with my current partner, it kinda felt the right time. Nice one mate... congratulations Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber RandoEFC+ Posted January 18, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted January 18, 2019 2 minutes ago, Batard said: It almost feels out of place given the posts this precedes but I proposed to my partner tonight. After she asked whether I was being serious or not, she said yes. With my divorce to my ex being finalised and with a daughter with my current partner, it kinda felt the right time. Congrats mate . Or is it RIP you're supposed to say in this situation? I can never remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Batard Posted January 18, 2019 Author Administrator Share Posted January 18, 2019 Just now, Bluewolf said: Nice one mate... congratulations Remind me of this in a few years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan Posted January 18, 2019 Administrator Share Posted January 18, 2019 4 minutes ago, Batard said: It almost feels out of place given the posts this precedes but I proposed to my partner tonight. After she asked whether I was being serious or not, she said yes. With my divorce to my ex being finalised and with a daughter with my current partner, it kinda felt the right time. Yes mate, congratulations! Are you planning a double wedding with @Cannabis? If you do, make sure you remember your actual partners and don't go off running with each other like an episode out of Eastenders or Corrie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 1 minute ago, Batard said: Remind me of this in a few years Don't worry mate, If it goes the same way as so many others then the other half will always be there to remind you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Batard Posted January 18, 2019 Author Administrator Share Posted January 18, 2019 5 minutes ago, Stan said: Yes mate, congratulations! Are you planning a double wedding with @Cannabis? If you do, make sure you remember your actual partners and don't go off running with each other like an episode out of Eastenders or Corrie. Isn't that the plan normally? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 16 hours ago, JOSHBRFC said: I remember posting on the old forum years ago about having a serious break up with the woman i'm with now. Well we obviously got back together and then the best day of my life 7/8 months ago when she gave birth to my daughter. We've been together since late 2013. Well..... we're potentially splitting up. I actually take the blame i think i've hurt her too much over the years with certain demons i've been facing in my head and being a closed book. I've been in denial about all sorts, pretending i've been okay when i haven't been. I've actually had counselling for the last few weeks and the woman thinks it links back to my Father dying. It feels so weird opening up and being honest about everything. However regarding my partner it's probably too late and too much has been done/said/happened. Mainly lies, i was lying to myself about all sorts and it became easy to lie to her. I love my partner and splitting up will be tough but the thing that i can't bare the thought of is not living with my daughter and spending every day with her and coming home from work to her etc. Tough times ahead. Word of advice people - when people who care about you ask you how you are, never pretend you're okay when you're not. Sorry to hear things have not been working out mate... Always a hard thing to deal with especially with your little girl in the mix as well.. hope you and the other half can work things out.. It might seem grim now but you never know, a little bit of time apart might give you both a break and a chance to think things through clearly.. It's always much harder when you are in each others pockets all the time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Cannabis Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 Whilst being engaged is fantastic I couldn't turn down marrying @Batard. Just holler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Batard Posted January 18, 2019 Author Administrator Share Posted January 18, 2019 5 minutes ago, Cannabis said: Whilst being engaged is fantastic I couldn't turn down marrying @Batard. Just holler. Pick a date. Don't keep me waiting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 30 minutes ago, Batard said: Remind me of this in a few years Just on a side note, last year during the summer my boss had to book his usual holiday abroad, well he has this love hate thing going on with his missus and when she told him to book the holiday for their wedding anniversary day he told me he couldn't remember the date.. Obviously this amused me a great deal watching him sweat and try and worm his way out of it... I asked him if he anyone else in the family might be able to clue him up a bit but he reckoned not so after trying different sneaky ways of trying to con the date out of her he finally bit the bullet and had to ask her outright.. He showed me the text reply he got.. She said "you can't remember what day we got married" with an angry face, so he replied "can't you just tell me the date I need to book the holiday" she replied by saying "I will give you a clue, you were fucking there!" and she attached a photo of their wedding day cutting the cake.. I was laughing my arse off Like I said mate.. they will always be there to remind you.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber CaaC (John)+ Posted January 18, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted January 18, 2019 I met my now wife of 45 years coming up in Dortmund, Germany 1974 in a German military hospital in Hamer after I had an accident...I fell off a flag-pole when I was pissed as a newt. Our regiment had just got back from a 5-month tour of duty in Northern Ireland and when we landed back in Germany we handed our kit in and hit Dortmund pubs like nothing on earth after not being able to drink for 5 months on combat duty, on this particular night me and my mate were pissed and staggered back into camp and he bet me I couldn't climb our battery flag-pole which I did, but... The top of a flag-pole tapers off and when I got to the top and waved to him my weight made the flag-pole bend and snapped and I ended up smashing into the parade ground below and I ended up in the military hospital for six months with a fractured skull, a fractured jaw in 3 places, broke my right wrist and left ankle and burst the blood vessels in my eyes, oh and I lost 3 of my bottom teeth that burst through my lower lip. The good thing is we (wife) are still together with a son & daughter who have given us 3 lovely grandsons, life can be a bitch but as long as you can survive in love and marriage then put the fucking flagpoles out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluewolf Posted January 18, 2019 Share Posted January 18, 2019 2 minutes ago, CaaC - John said: I met my now wife of 45 years coming up in Dortmund, Germany 1974 in a German military hospital in Hamer after I had an accident...I fell off a flag-pole when I was pissed as a newt. Our regiment had just got back from a 5-month tour of duty in Northern Ireland and when we landed back in Germany we handed our kit in and hit Dortmund pubs like nothing on earth after not being able to drink for 5 months on combat duty, on this particular night me and my mate were pissed and staggered back into camp and he bet me I couldn't climb our battery flag-pole which I did, but... The top of a flag-pole tapers off and when I got to the top and waved to him my weight made the flag-pole bend and snapped and I ended up smashing into the parade ground below and I ended up in the military hospital for six months with a fractured skull, a fractured jaw in 3 places, broke my right wrist and left ankle and burst the blood vessels in my eyes, oh and I lost 3 of my bottom teeth that burst through my lower lip. The good thing is we (wife) are still together with a son & daughter who have given us 3 lovely grandsons, life can be a bitch but as long as you can survive in love and marriage then put the fucking flagpoles out. Fuck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber JoshBRFC+ Posted January 18, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted January 18, 2019 1 hour ago, Batard said: It almost feels out of place given the posts this precedes but I proposed to my partner tonight. After she asked whether I was being serious or not, she said yes. With my divorce to my ex being finalised and a daughter with my current partner, it kinda felt the right time. Brilliant news mate. Congratulations! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber JoshBRFC+ Posted January 18, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted January 18, 2019 1 hour ago, Bluewolf said: Sorry to hear things have not been working out mate... Always a hard thing to deal with especially with your little girl in the mix as well.. hope you and the other half can work things out.. It might seem grim now but you never know, a little bit of time apart might give you both a break and a chance to think things through clearly.. It's always much harder when you are in each others pockets all the time.. Yeah I agree. 13 hours ago, Stan said: Very sorry to hear that @JOSHBRFC. Sounds like a very unfortunate situation you've ended up in but the positives are that you've opened up (better late than never!) and now you can focus on how to work around giving your daughter the best life, which is what it should be about. At least, from what you've said, you've got the weight off your chest to now deal with things by opening up... I think if you do split up for good and find yourself away from your daughter some days and alone, it'll be more important than ever to realise you can talk to people, be it your friends, your counsellor or someone on here (only a DM away!). Yeah she’s the main priority, she always has been since the second she was born. And thanks mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrator Stan Posted January 18, 2019 Administrator Share Posted January 18, 2019 1 hour ago, CaaC - John said: I ended up smashing into the parade ground below and I ended up in the military hospital for six months with a fractured skull, a fractured jaw in 3 places, broke my right wrist and left ankle and burst the blood vessels in my eyes, oh and I lost 3 of my bottom teeth that burst through my lower lip. Wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toinho Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 10 hours ago, Batard said: It almost feels out of place given the posts this precedes but I proposed to my partner tonight. After she asked whether I was being serious or not, she said yes. With my divorce to my ex being finalised and a daughter with my current partner, it kinda felt the right time. Congrats mate. Love her reaction Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC Posted January 19, 2019 Share Posted January 19, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Subscriber Pyfish+ Posted January 20, 2019 Subscriber Share Posted January 20, 2019 I’m at the age now where everyone is either getting engaged, married or having a kid and I’ve just split with my girlfriend of 5 years. Felt like the end of the world that I’d have to start all over but finally starting to see that the right woman for me is round the corner somewhere and I will be happier in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MUFC Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 Anyone ever dated a bossy control freak? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 On 18/01/2019 at 15:21, JOSHBRFC said: I remember posting on the old forum years ago about having a serious break up with the woman i'm with now. Well we obviously got back together and then the best day of my life 7/8 months ago when she gave birth to my daughter. We've been together since late 2013. Well..... we're potentially splitting up. I actually take the blame i think i've hurt her too much over the years with certain demons i've been facing in my head and being a closed book. I've been in denial about all sorts, pretending i've been okay when i haven't been. I've actually had counselling for the last few weeks and the woman thinks it links back to my Father dying. It feels so weird opening up and being honest about everything. However regarding my partner it's probably too late and too much has been done/said/happened. Mainly lies, i was lying to myself about all sorts and it became easy to lie to her. I love my partner and splitting up will be tough but the thing that i can't bare the thought of is not living with my daughter and spending every day with her and coming home from work to her etc. Tough times ahead. Word of advice people - when people who care about you ask you how you are, never pretend you're okay when you're not. Fuck. Really sorry to hear all that mate! I have a little one and get how painful that thought must be. In fact I've stared that thought down myself and had a point I thought it would happen with me. But we agreed to work at it and 20 months later things are on a very different track. I hope you don't tell me to fuck off for saying this but a few bits of advice from my similar experience... 1. don't leave her in any doubt where your heart is at. 2. keep the dialogue up. Check she is viewing things in a level headed manner and as a situation involving 3 people with the child as the most important one. 3. Question could current circumstances contributing to the issues change in which case it may be hasty to make big decisions now? (I.e First 12 months with little one is immensely difficult for many people and strains many people to breaking points. Things normalize more beyond the first year. In my situation my wife was saying it was me but in fact there was a pretty strong post baby funk going on with her that played a part. I hope it does work out for you mate but in the worst case scenario I can say i have 2 good friends who've been through it and although very difficult they actually feel they get more quality time with their little one now than they did before. They value that time way more and really pack in a lot in. Anyway mate all the best with your situation however it unfolds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harry Posted January 20, 2019 Share Posted January 20, 2019 3 hours ago, MUFC said: Anyone ever dated a bossy control freak? You mean there's another kind? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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