Dating, Relationships and Marriage Thread

[ROBBIEFC]

31 minutes ago, Eco said:

Man, I'd leave her like a cloud of dust. 

There is a lot to say about a woman who know what she wants and knows what she doesn't want. Maybe it's just 'my type', but nothing is more sexy than a brilliant woman who knows what she does and doesn't want. 

Going back and forth and sending off so many signals would annoy the F out of me. There is something to be said for consistency, especially when it comes to feelings and emotions.

If you haven't do some research into E.Q., and hopefully it'll let you grasp how some people are capable to know their emotions, and others are controlled by their wild and crazy emotions. 

It does annoy me a fair bit. I've been in situations like this one with girls before and vice-versa, and this is probably one of the more volatile experiences I've had so far. I started dating a girl before the first lockdown back in March last year. She was incredible in her drive, but turned out to be willing to throw people under the bus to get there. So I understand what you're saying completely. It's a shame people are so unpredictable, especially girls around my age.

Funnily enough, I took an optional module on Emotional Intelligence whilst I was doing my undergrad degree. I'm familiar with the Johari Window model of E.Q., and keep a drawing of it on my desk next to my actual degree. Thinking of degrees, I think I'm going to focus my efforts on securing a distinction in my Masters. I can't let a girl off-set my goals when I'm less than a month away from finishing it. If she's still in limbo with me after I've finished and am stress-free myself, I'll probably leave it.

[Eco]

4 minutes ago, Robbie said:

It does annoy me a fair bit. I've been in situations like this one with girls before and vice-versa, and this is probably one of the more volatile experiences I've had so far. I started dating a girl before the first lockdown back in March last year. She was incredible in her drive, but turned out to be willing to throw people under the bus to get there. So I understand what you're saying completely. It's a shame people are so unpredictable, especially girls around my age.

Funnily enough, I took an optional module on Emotional Intelligence whilst I was doing my undergrad degree. I'm familiar with the Johari Window model of E.Q., and keep a picture of it on my desk next to my actual degree. Thinking of degrees, I think I'm going to focus my efforts on securing a distinction in my Masters. I can't let a girl off-set my goals when I'm less than a month away from finishing it. If she's still in limbo with me after I've finished and am stress-free myself, I'll probably leave it.

Yeah man, my advice to you is simple. 

1. Distance yourself from the girl so that you don't let her control your emotions. 

2. Focus all your energy in your degree (since you're almost done) and your career. 

3. Once you have that set up, and you are in a good place with who are you you can start looking to be in a relationship, and who knows, maybe while you are working on yourself, you find someone that makes you happier, your life easier, and makes you a better person. 

Good luck with whatever you choose, but my career was delayed because I didn't prioritize it enough. Mind you, I am happy (most of the time) in my 7 year marriage, but we certainly didn't prioritize it properly. 

[ROBBIEFC]

1 minute ago, Eco said:

Yeah man, my advice to you is simple. 

1. Distance yourself from the girl so that you don't let her control your emotions. 

2. Focus all your energy in your degree (since you're almost done) and your career. 

3. Once you have that set up, and you are in a good place with who are you you can start looking to be in a relationship, and who knows, maybe while you are working on yourself, you find someone that makes you happier, your life easier, and makes you a better person. 

Good luck with whatever you choose, but my career was delayed because I didn't prioritize it enough. Mind you, I am happy (most of the time) in my 7 year marriage, but we certainly didn't prioritize it properly. 

You're spot on there mate. I hope she can snap out of her hap-hazard mood in the meantime but if not, I'll survive. Who knows what's on the horizon once I've finished this Masters.

[Eco]

20 minutes ago, Robbie said:

You're spot on there mate. I hope she can snap out of her hap-hazard mood in the meantime but if not, I'll survive. Who knows what's on the horizon once I've finished this Masters.

[Eco]

Well, I'm about to do my head in. 

Wife has been extra emotional as of late, maybe 2-3 months, and has even admitted it to and apologized a few times. 

So with my new job, and her job going to shit, we have seriously been discussing moving closer to my companies local HQ, which is about 6.5 hour drive away, closer to the mountains AND the beach, so win-win. 

Well, she applied for a teaching job there, had her first interview in 7 years yesterday at the house, and did it via Webex in my office. She gets frustrated easily with technology, so I had everything set up way before her interview. 

She got home from work with an hour to spare, and was getting frustrated as she was preparing her outfit and hair for the interview. When she got the office, there was a little bit over 15 minutes until the interview started, and she started getting super aggressive with every little thing as she wanted to be on the interview 15 minutes before it started, and I guess I didn't have the Ring Light set up yet (which takes 20 seconds and she ended up not using). 

So she sits at my desk, we test everything, and she is moving the camera, the computer, getting ready for the interview, and for some unknown reason, the HD webcam I can craps out and stops working. I, rather calmly, ask her not to worry, and hook it up another way. That didn't work so I tried something else. That also didn't work so I tried a different computer, nope. All the meanwhile she is flipping a shit. 

I kept finding solutions, and with about 5 minutes to go and her computer already set up, she just starts yelling at me about this and that, until she finally tells me to just leave and she'll take care of everything. 

I calmly left, picked up our kid, and took her to the playground so that the wife could have some peace and quiet during her interview. 

Once we got home, I noticed the wife was still in the office, so I tapped lightly and she said I could come in. I came in and grabbed my work laptop quickly so that I could check my work emails, asked how the interview went to which she said 'well, he wants me to send some references so I'm doing that now', and I said alright, and shut the door and left. Granted, I'm still annoyed AF about her reaction earlier, but I'm not showing it since I'm spending time with my daughter and it's not her job to deal with me being pissed off at the wife. 

So an hour or so later, the wife comes in and quickly apologizes for her outburst, and then we just go on. I'm still upset, but my personality is to process my feelings before putting them into words, and it was a good 30-40 minutes after her apology that she asked me why I was 'stone walling her', and I just said that while I appreciate her apology, I'm not over it yet and needed some time. 

And that is where shit got crazy. She got, and is still, livid at me for being upset and 'holding a grudge' (it's been less than 15 hours, 8 of which I was asleep for), and she says she is mad because I should be better on a day that meant so much for her. I tried to get her to explain, and said that I helped you with everything, and never raised a voice, but only expressed my unhappiness after the fact, but she is mad I didn't tell her immediately...something I haven't done in 30 years. I've yet to raise my voice to her, but she has a massive issue with yelling, screaming, and slamming things down. 

Last night during the Atlanta United game, we were talking (almost) normally, and I asked her about the interview, what she thought about the school, how she felt about the role, hours, pay, and if she was asked any strange questions that she wasn't prepared for. Honestly, I thought we had turned a corner. 

Wake up this morning, and she is slamming things going and snapping at our daughter because the wife can't find the only shirt she wants to wear today, and so as always, I get the daughter ready, make her breakfast, pack her bag, and take her off to school. At this point I'm annoyed that she is still having this massive outbursts, but I can't be too upset because that's who she has become. Can't be made at an orange for being an orange, right? 

So I just got a call from the wife, saying that she still doesn't want to talk about the interview (which we did a lot the previous night), and that she is so angry with how selfish I'm being. 

Her thought process, in her words, is. 

She Screwed up
My feelings and ego were hurt, which upset me. 
Her feelings and ego are hurt because I got upset and didn't express it the way she wanted. 

I mean I could be some to blame, but FML...This backwards thinking and her inability to take full responsibility for her actions is what gets us into this battles and has alienated her among her friends. It's sad, but once again I'm at the point that after 10 years, I'm fucking tired. Problem is we have a daughter and I hate the idea of splitting up the only family she knows. 

 

[SchalkeUK]

I spent some time with a US singer - Johnny Burnette - in the 60's the last dinner the night before he went up to his boat and didn't some back. We discussed his 'Cincinnatti Fireball' and it seems appropriate and worth a listen - some problems but all worth it if you keep trying.  I've had 52 years together and wouldn't change any of it - probably because the 'give and take ' has been shared well.  In he end the most important one is not you - or her - it's the little 'un.

[Toinho]

On 22/07/2021 at 20:43, Eco said:

Well, I'm about to do my head in. 

Wife has been extra emotional as of late, maybe 2-3 months, and has even admitted it to and apologized a few times. 

So with my new job, and her job going to shit, we have seriously been discussing moving closer to my companies local HQ, which is about 6.5 hour drive away, closer to the mountains AND the beach, so win-win. 

Well, she applied for a teaching job there, had her first interview in 7 years yesterday at the house, and did it via Webex in my office. She gets frustrated easily with technology, so I had everything set up way before her interview. 

She got home from work with an hour to spare, and was getting frustrated as she was preparing her outfit and hair for the interview. When she got the office, there was a little bit over 15 minutes until the interview started, and she started getting super aggressive with every little thing as she wanted to be on the interview 15 minutes before it started, and I guess I didn't have the Ring Light set up yet (which takes 20 seconds and she ended up not using). 

So she sits at my desk, we test everything, and she is moving the camera, the computer, getting ready for the interview, and for some unknown reason, the HD webcam I can craps out and stops working. I, rather calmly, ask her not to worry, and hook it up another way. That didn't work so I tried something else. That also didn't work so I tried a different computer, nope. All the meanwhile she is flipping a shit. 

I kept finding solutions, and with about 5 minutes to go and her computer already set up, she just starts yelling at me about this and that, until she finally tells me to just leave and she'll take care of everything. 

I calmly left, picked up our kid, and took her to the playground so that the wife could have some peace and quiet during her interview. 

Once we got home, I noticed the wife was still in the office, so I tapped lightly and she said I could come in. I came in and grabbed my work laptop quickly so that I could check my work emails, asked how the interview went to which she said 'well, he wants me to send some references so I'm doing that now', and I said alright, and shut the door and left. Granted, I'm still annoyed AF about her reaction earlier, but I'm not showing it since I'm spending time with my daughter and it's not her job to deal with me being pissed off at the wife. 

So an hour or so later, the wife comes in and quickly apologizes for her outburst, and then we just go on. I'm still upset, but my personality is to process my feelings before putting them into words, and it was a good 30-40 minutes after her apology that she asked me why I was 'stone walling her', and I just said that while I appreciate her apology, I'm not over it yet and needed some time. 

And that is where shit got crazy. She got, and is still, livid at me for being upset and 'holding a grudge' (it's been less than 15 hours, 8 of which I was asleep for), and she says she is mad because I should be better on a day that meant so much for her. I tried to get her to explain, and said that I helped you with everything, and never raised a voice, but only expressed my unhappiness after the fact, but she is mad I didn't tell her immediately...something I haven't done in 30 years. I've yet to raise my voice to her, but she has a massive issue with yelling, screaming, and slamming things down. 

Last night during the Atlanta United game, we were talking (almost) normally, and I asked her about the interview, what she thought about the school, how she felt about the role, hours, pay, and if she was asked any strange questions that she wasn't prepared for. Honestly, I thought we had turned a corner. 

Wake up this morning, and she is slamming things going and snapping at our daughter because the wife can't find the only shirt she wants to wear today, and so as always, I get the daughter ready, make her breakfast, pack her bag, and take her off to school. At this point I'm annoyed that she is still having this massive outbursts, but I can't be too upset because that's who she has become. Can't be made at an orange for being an orange, right? 

So I just got a call from the wife, saying that she still doesn't want to talk about the interview (which we did a lot the previous night), and that she is so angry with how selfish I'm being. 

Her thought process, in her words, is. 

She Screwed up
My feelings and ego were hurt, which upset me. 
Her feelings and ego are hurt because I got upset and didn't express it the way she wanted. 

I mean I could be some to blame, but FML...This backwards thinking and her inability to take full responsibility for her actions is what gets us into this battles and has alienated her among her friends. It's sad, but once again I'm at the point that after 10 years, I'm fucking tired. Problem is we have a daughter and I hate the idea of splitting up the only family she knows. 

 

I know you were having problems not that long ago (not sure when time goes crazy quick doesn’t it?!) but hope this is all okay now mate. Not entirely sure what to suggest as it seems complicated/can be amazing/can be tiring. I mean no relationship is perfect but there’s only so much someone can “take”. All the best 

[Eco]

Just now, Toinho said:

I know you were having problems not that long ago (not sure when time goes crazy quick doesn’t it?!) but hope this is all okay now mate. Not entirely sure what to suggest as it seems complicated/can be amazing/can be tiring. I mean no relationship is perfect but there’s only so much someone can “take”. All the best 

Yeah, earlier last year we were starting divorce proceedings, but ultimately reconciled. 

The problem, is that ever since having a child, my wife's hormones and other things have just been off. She will be the first to admit that she isn't normal, and that her emotions are highly irregular, and that she seriously struggles to be happy. 

The other day, she called me while driving to work, and was just very emotional, and in her haste, said some things that got me rather worried. Since she has calmed down, she has agreed to see a new mental health professional in an attempt to figure out what is going on. 

[Viva la FCB+]

On 22/07/2021 at 05:43, Eco said:

Well, I'm about to do my head in. 

Wife has been extra emotional as of late, maybe 2-3 months, and has even admitted it to and apologized a few times. 

So with my new job, and her job going to shit, we have seriously been discussing moving closer to my companies local HQ, which is about 6.5 hour drive away, closer to the mountains AND the beach, so win-win. 

Well, she applied for a teaching job there, had her first interview in 7 years yesterday at the house, and did it via Webex in my office. She gets frustrated easily with technology, so I had everything set up way before her interview. 

She got home from work with an hour to spare, and was getting frustrated as she was preparing her outfit and hair for the interview. When she got the office, there was a little bit over 15 minutes until the interview started, and she started getting super aggressive with every little thing as she wanted to be on the interview 15 minutes before it started, and I guess I didn't have the Ring Light set up yet (which takes 20 seconds and she ended up not using). 

So she sits at my desk, we test everything, and she is moving the camera, the computer, getting ready for the interview, and for some unknown reason, the HD webcam I can craps out and stops working. I, rather calmly, ask her not to worry, and hook it up another way. That didn't work so I tried something else. That also didn't work so I tried a different computer, nope. All the meanwhile she is flipping a shit. 

I kept finding solutions, and with about 5 minutes to go and her computer already set up, she just starts yelling at me about this and that, until she finally tells me to just leave and she'll take care of everything. 

I calmly left, picked up our kid, and took her to the playground so that the wife could have some peace and quiet during her interview. 

Once we got home, I noticed the wife was still in the office, so I tapped lightly and she said I could come in. I came in and grabbed my work laptop quickly so that I could check my work emails, asked how the interview went to which she said 'well, he wants me to send some references so I'm doing that now', and I said alright, and shut the door and left. Granted, I'm still annoyed AF about her reaction earlier, but I'm not showing it since I'm spending time with my daughter and it's not her job to deal with me being pissed off at the wife. 

So an hour or so later, the wife comes in and quickly apologizes for her outburst, and then we just go on. I'm still upset, but my personality is to process my feelings before putting them into words, and it was a good 30-40 minutes after her apology that she asked me why I was 'stone walling her', and I just said that while I appreciate her apology, I'm not over it yet and needed some time. 

And that is where shit got crazy. She got, and is still, livid at me for being upset and 'holding a grudge' (it's been less than 15 hours, 8 of which I was asleep for), and she says she is mad because I should be better on a day that meant so much for her. I tried to get her to explain, and said that I helped you with everything, and never raised a voice, but only expressed my unhappiness after the fact, but she is mad I didn't tell her immediately...something I haven't done in 30 years. I've yet to raise my voice to her, but she has a massive issue with yelling, screaming, and slamming things down. 

Last night during the Atlanta United game, we were talking (almost) normally, and I asked her about the interview, what she thought about the school, how she felt about the role, hours, pay, and if she was asked any strange questions that she wasn't prepared for. Honestly, I thought we had turned a corner. 

Wake up this morning, and she is slamming things going and snapping at our daughter because the wife can't find the only shirt she wants to wear today, and so as always, I get the daughter ready, make her breakfast, pack her bag, and take her off to school. At this point I'm annoyed that she is still having this massive outbursts, but I can't be too upset because that's who she has become. Can't be made at an orange for being an orange, right? 

So I just got a call from the wife, saying that she still doesn't want to talk about the interview (which we did a lot the previous night), and that she is so angry with how selfish I'm being. 

Her thought process, in her words, is. 

She Screwed up
My feelings and ego were hurt, which upset me. 
Her feelings and ego are hurt because I got upset and didn't express it the way she wanted. 

I mean I could be some to blame, but FML...This backwards thinking and her inability to take full responsibility for her actions is what gets us into this battles and has alienated her among her friends. It's sad, but once again I'm at the point that after 10 years, I'm fucking tired. Problem is we have a daughter and I hate the idea of splitting up the only family she knows. 

 

Im sorry to hear that man i really am. It does sound like alot of the same shit you where dealing with what, 6 months ago? a year ago? at the end of the day you could try and explain calmly exactly what you've said here to her. Bring up exactly how history is repeating itself and how you dont want that to happen or get to that point again but you she has to meet halfway or something with at least and recognize. At the end of the day if its going to be like this it isnt healthy for you or your daughter for that matter in the long term.

[Devil]

On 22/07/2021 at 13:43, Eco said:

Well, I'm about to do my head in. 

Wife has been extra emotional as of late, maybe 2-3 months, and has even admitted it to and apologized a few times. 

So with my new job, and her job going to shit, we have seriously been discussing moving closer to my companies local HQ, which is about 6.5 hour drive away, closer to the mountains AND the beach, so win-win. 

Well, she applied for a teaching job there, had her first interview in 7 years yesterday at the house, and did it via Webex in my office. She gets frustrated easily with technology, so I had everything set up way before her interview. 

She got home from work with an hour to spare, and was getting frustrated as she was preparing her outfit and hair for the interview. When she got the office, there was a little bit over 15 minutes until the interview started, and she started getting super aggressive with every little thing as she wanted to be on the interview 15 minutes before it started, and I guess I didn't have the Ring Light set up yet (which takes 20 seconds and she ended up not using). 

So she sits at my desk, we test everything, and she is moving the camera, the computer, getting ready for the interview, and for some unknown reason, the HD webcam I can craps out and stops working. I, rather calmly, ask her not to worry, and hook it up another way. That didn't work so I tried something else. That also didn't work so I tried a different computer, nope. All the meanwhile she is flipping a shit. 

I kept finding solutions, and with about 5 minutes to go and her computer already set up, she just starts yelling at me about this and that, until she finally tells me to just leave and she'll take care of everything. 

I calmly left, picked up our kid, and took her to the playground so that the wife could have some peace and quiet during her interview. 

Once we got home, I noticed the wife was still in the office, so I tapped lightly and she said I could come in. I came in and grabbed my work laptop quickly so that I could check my work emails, asked how the interview went to which she said 'well, he wants me to send some references so I'm doing that now', and I said alright, and shut the door and left. Granted, I'm still annoyed AF about her reaction earlier, but I'm not showing it since I'm spending time with my daughter and it's not her job to deal with me being pissed off at the wife. 

So an hour or so later, the wife comes in and quickly apologizes for her outburst, and then we just go on. I'm still upset, but my personality is to process my feelings before putting them into words, and it was a good 30-40 minutes after her apology that she asked me why I was 'stone walling her', and I just said that while I appreciate her apology, I'm not over it yet and needed some time. 

And that is where shit got crazy. She got, and is still, livid at me for being upset and 'holding a grudge' (it's been less than 15 hours, 8 of which I was asleep for), and she says she is mad because I should be better on a day that meant so much for her. I tried to get her to explain, and said that I helped you with everything, and never raised a voice, but only expressed my unhappiness after the fact, but she is mad I didn't tell her immediately...something I haven't done in 30 years. I've yet to raise my voice to her, but she has a massive issue with yelling, screaming, and slamming things down. 

Last night during the Atlanta United game, we were talking (almost) normally, and I asked her about the interview, what she thought about the school, how she felt about the role, hours, pay, and if she was asked any strange questions that she wasn't prepared for. Honestly, I thought we had turned a corner. 

Wake up this morning, and she is slamming things going and snapping at our daughter because the wife can't find the only shirt she wants to wear today, and so as always, I get the daughter ready, make her breakfast, pack her bag, and take her off to school. At this point I'm annoyed that she is still having this massive outbursts, but I can't be too upset because that's who she has become. Can't be made at an orange for being an orange, right? 

So I just got a call from the wife, saying that she still doesn't want to talk about the interview (which we did a lot the previous night), and that she is so angry with how selfish I'm being. 

Her thought process, in her words, is. 

She Screwed up
My feelings and ego were hurt, which upset me. 
Her feelings and ego are hurt because I got upset and didn't express it the way she wanted. 

I mean I could be some to blame, but FML...This backwards thinking and her inability to take full responsibility for her actions is what gets us into this battles and has alienated her among her friends. It's sad, but once again I'm at the point that after 10 years, I'm fucking tired. Problem is we have a daughter and I hate the idea of splitting up the only family she knows. 

 

 

I know I've only posted on this forum for a short time but reading that was awful, I can only relate it to my best friend and best man at my wedding. He spent countless years trying to make a relationship work for his son in a relationship which had run it's course. 

Sarah was her name and she had a temper of Venom as well, I only witnessed it once when he asked her to drop us both off at the pub, she obviously wasn't to happy with him going out and let rip in front of me and his son. I remember sitting down with a pint and just asking him if what had just happened was a regular thing and he said daily. They'd been on an off for a number of years and this was the first time I could see what he was dealing with. 

In truth sometimes it's better for the child if parents split early in their lives, why put a child through what it could potentially go through if you can get it done early before they know any different. In hindsight I'm sure my friend would have done this had he known how being a separated parent isn't as bad as he imagined. I know it's difficult to grasp the idea of not being with your child full time but surely that's better than knowing your child is hearing outbursts of anger. 

[ROBBIEFC]

I'm sure some of you will recall my ordeal with the 'hot and cold' girl a couple of weeks ago.

Well, the situation's gotten interesting.

One of the regulars where I work cottoned on that something was going on between myself and said girl, who I'll call C. He asked me if anything was going on and I said 'no comment'. He then started making a joke of it and others joined in. This was last Thursday. Friday was a run-of-the-mill day with not much happening, but on Saturday the other people I work with started pointing things out to me. As small as they sound, that she'd started talking about me a lot, wearing make-up when she knows I'm going to be around her, touching her hair a lot, and making a fair effort to touch and brush past me. I didn't notice it so much on Saturday, but when I was getting teased I left work and C messaged me to come back and see her. She kept making eye contact with me for the rest of the day and lightly flirting. Someone had said something to her about it.

Myself and C worked together on Sunday. She started later that I did but it started fast and without anyone saying things. Constantly talking, coming very close to me and dare I say provocatively so at times, and getting embarrassed whenever someone mentioned my name or made a comment about the two of us. Once I'd finished my shift, I sat down and typed out a bit of my dissertation with my headphones on. I could still hear the comments and people asking C what was going on between us. When I did eventually stop my work and go up to the bar, the same regular from Thursday started asking her questions to which we both started blushing. I left it for a while, but when she dropped me off around midnight time we spoke about what had been going on. She said that it must have started from somewhere, to which I responded that I'd spoken in private about liking her. It was dark but I saw her go bright red and smile.

I saw C on Tuesday, we had some drinks and had a laugh but ultimately got taken out of any flirtatious mood by another girl who works with us. This other girl is an interfering cow, to put it bluntly, and she's told me before one-on-one that any relationship between myself and C would make her shifts 'more awkward'. So she took every effort to 'cock-block' me when I was in my feelings.

I knew that C was working on Wednesday, so went up to where we work. I was playing pool and putting music on the jukebox with a couple of older guys who frequent the bar. They started teasing me and making comments, and the same with her to an extent. C was joining in with the comments, being light-hearted with it all but flirtatious at the same time. People started asking her what's going on and she's been getting shy about it, and she kept strongly implying that there is something going on beyond what was being said. We've been flirting a little bit tonight, and I noticed things I hadn't before tonight also. Seeing her looking at me through the corner of my eye and turning away when I turn my head towards her. I've been overhearing my name being mentioned in general conversation in the light of myself and her.

I've missed out a lot. But. I've made the decision that, at this rate, I'm going to instigate some dates and hanging out once I've got this Masters degree done in a fortnight's time. My fingers are, hopefully rightfully, crossed.

[JoshBRFC+]

On 22/07/2021 at 13:56, SchalkeUK said:

I spent some time with a US singer - Johnny Burnette - in the 60's the last dinner the night before he went up to his boat and didn't some back. We discussed his 'Cincinnatti Fireball' and it seems appropriate and worth a listen - some problems but all worth it if you keep trying.  I've had 52 years together and wouldn't change any of it - probably because the 'give and take ' has been shared well.  In he end the most important one is not you - or her - it's the little 'un.

I can’t tell if you’re singing to us all or telling us a life experience. Either way…. I love it

[JoshBRFC+]

11 minutes ago, Robbie said:

I'm sure some of you will recall my ordeal with the 'hot and cold' girl a couple of weeks ago.

Well, the situation's gotten interesting.

One of the regulars where I work cottoned on that something was going on between myself and said girl, who I'll call C. He asked me if anything was going on and I said 'no comment'. He then started making a joke of it and others joined in. This was last Thursday. Friday was a run-of-the-mill day with not much happening, but on Saturday the other people I work with started pointing things out to me. As small as they sound, that she'd started talking about me a lot, wearing make-up when she knows I'm going to be around her, touching her hair a lot, and making a fair effort to touch and brush past me. I didn't notice it so much on Saturday, but when I was getting teased I left work and C messaged me to come back and see her. She kept making eye contact with me for the rest of the day and lightly flirting. Someone had said something to her about it.

Myself and C worked together on Sunday. She started later that I did but it started fast and without anyone saying things. Constantly talking, coming very close to me and dare I say provocatively so at times, and getting embarrassed whenever someone mentioned my name or made a comment about the two of us. Once I'd finished my shift, I sat down and typed out a bit of my dissertation with my headphones on. I could still hear the comments and people asking C what was going on between us. When I did eventually stop my work and go up to the bar, the same regular from Thursday started asking her questions to which we both started blushing. I left it for a while, but when she dropped me off around midnight time we spoke about what had been going on. She said that it must have started from somewhere, to which I responded that I'd spoken in private about liking her. It was dark but I saw her go bright red and smile.

I saw C on Tuesday, we had some drinks and had a laugh but ultimately got taken out of any flirtatious mood by another girl who works with us. This other girl is an interfering cow, to put it bluntly, and she's told me before one-on-one that any relationship between myself and C would make her shifts 'more awkward'. So she took every effort to 'cock-block' me when I was in my feelings.

I knew that C was working on Wednesday, so went up to where we work. I was playing pool and putting music on the jukebox with a couple of older guys who frequent the bar. They started teasing me and making comments, and the same with her to an extent. C was joining in with the comments, being light-hearted with it all but flirtatious at the same time. People started asking her what's going on and she's been getting shy about it, and she kept strongly implying that there is something going on beyond what was being said. We've been flirting a little bit tonight, and I noticed things I hadn't before tonight also. Seeing her looking at me through the corner of my eye and turning away when I turn my head towards her. I've been overhearing my name being mentioned in general conversation in the light of myself and her.

I've missed out a lot. But. I've made the decision that, at this rate, I'm going to instigate some dates and hanging out once I've got this Masters degree done in a fortnight's time. My fingers are, hopefully rightfully, crossed.

First off does C stand for Cunt? If so… Brentford Dan isn’t worth it mate.

 

As per most most of my posts tonight, the silly is followed by the serious. And I strongly recommend being selfish and thinking about you 2. Fuck anyone else… do what your heart and head tells you mate. You only live once… get her on her own and and do something. 
 

Whether it’s a meal, drinks or just a chat. Don’t act desperate but find that alone moment to be honest with her. Don’t be looking back in weeks or months down the line thinking what if. Go for it man. As much as a good place this forum Is, If you’ve said all that to us strangers, you need to say it to her. Don’t wait for a degree or anyone or any situation, if you can type it out now then find a moment and tell her.
 

Good luck  

[Stan]

@Robbie fair enough - quite clearly something there but I perhaps wouldn't wait a couple of weeks to instigate a date or anything. Of course your Masters is important but that won't stop you going for a coffee or lunch together surely? You don't want to leave her hanging for a couple of weeks as much as she may also understand how important your work is.

 

Also, forget that other interfering woman. I'd imagine your connection with this girl is more important than 'making shifts awkward'. She'll get over it. 

[Batard]

Sounds like she’s giving you the signs mate! What would you like to happen?

[ROBBIEFC]

3 hours ago, Batard said:

Sounds like she’s giving you the signs mate! What would you like to happen?

I've been around the block a few times with girls now in a no strings attached way. I reckon this is worth more. I reckon what I want is to do things to make our bond stronger and feel fully comfortable in each others company. So I'd say the end goal would be ending up together.

3 hours ago, Stan said:

@Robbie fair enough - quite clearly something there but I perhaps wouldn't wait a couple of weeks to instigate a date or anything. Of course your Masters is important but that won't stop you going for a coffee or lunch together surely? You don't want to leave her hanging for a couple of weeks as much as she may also understand how important your work is.

Very true mate, my only problem at the moment is that I'm practically skint for another week. We've already said we'll go out and celebrate my Masters. I'll ask her out for lunch for Monday I reckon, I normally rake it the tips on weekends.

The big date will be the 25th August. We both entered a competition to win tickets to see Ed Sheeran live on that day and had to put someone down. She put her sister because she's a super fan. I put her because she's also a massive fan of him and I know going would mean a lot to her.

9 hours ago, JoshBRFC said:

First off does C stand for Cunt? If so… Brentford Dan isn’t worth it mate.

 

As per most most of my posts tonight, the silly is followed by the serious. And I strongly recommend being selfish and thinking about you 2. Fuck anyone else… do what your heart and head tells you mate. You only live once… get her on her own and and do something. 
 

Whether it’s a meal, drinks or just a chat. Don’t act desperate but find that alone moment to be honest with her. Don’t be looking back in weeks or months down the line thinking what if. Go for it man. As much as a good place this forum Is, If you’ve said all that to us strangers, you need to say it to her. Don’t wait for a degree or anyone or any situation, if you can type it out now then find a moment and tell her.
 

Good luck  

I reckon tomorrow's a shout, I'll give it a shot mate!

[Toinho]

Good luck Robbie! 

[ROBBIEFC]

On Sunday night some pig, and I don't know who, told 'C' that I'd gone to the shop to buy some condoms to use on her. I'd gone out to buy chewing gum. We'll see how that affects the dynamic won't we.

Oh, but on the positive, one of our work colleagues spoke to her about the situation and came back and told me about it. She was getting shy about it, and playing coy. I've started getting encouragement from others to go for it as well, saying she's spoken to them out of the blue and that the curiosity is there. Funnily enough someone mentioned the topic sporadically and she defended the prospect of ending up together and 'balancing each other out in a good way'. I think she's really brooding. So long as that comment's not been taken the wrong way, I stand a good chance.

Been asked to cover the stirring girl's shift tonight, funnily enough it's coinciding with 'C' coming up to where we work with her girl friends. If she does end up there then I'm starting to think I'm being helped out behind the scenes, and not stitched up as I'd previously thought. Fingers crossed.

[Toinho]

I’d act soon if I was you! But wouldn’t while you’re working etc, maybe next time you’re alone, ask for a meal, movie, plan a romantic day etc. it’s hard to tell here but don’t let too much time pass in my Humble opinion. 

[ROBBIEFC]

I've made my move. I had to draw my hand swiftly and am just waiting to see if I've been dealt a good hand to play with or a bad one so to speak. Fingers crossed.

[CaaC (John)+]

On 17/08/2021 at 09:08, ROBBIEFC said:

I've made my move. I had to draw my hand swiftly and am just waiting to see if I've been dealt a good hand to play with or a bad one so to speak. Fingers crossed.

Best of luck buddy and...

[ROBBIEFC]

I told her on Tuesday morning. She got back to me on Tuesday evening and apologised for not replying sooner, that she didn't know what to say and not to over think her not replying. I've told her to take her time with it which I strongly feel is the most mature thing to do.

Saw her yesterday. She was working and I wasn't. We made small talk and what not, she was keeping herself occupied. Nothing was off. She wasn't acting off. If anything she hadn't changed whatsoever. The car journey home was tense though. The conversation was flowing but it was direct and she kept reiterating how tired she was. She's thinking about it. I'm feeling positive.

[Devil-Dick Willie]

6 hours ago, ROBBIEFC said:

I told her on Tuesday morning. She got back to me on Tuesday evening and apologised for not replying sooner, that she didn't know what to say and not to overthing her not replying. I've told her to take her time with it which I strongly feel is the most mature thing to do.

Saw her yesterday. She was working and I wasn't. We made small talk and what not, she was keeping herself occupied. Nothing was off. She wasn't acting off. If anything she hadn't changed whatsoever. The car journey home was tense though. The conversation was flowing but it was direct and she kept reiterating how tired she was. She's thinking about it. I'm feeling positive.

I wouldn't be. 

In my experience if someone wants to date or sleep with you they're going to facilitate it. You might get some pushback for the sake of propriety, but it's never in doubt. Whenever things get thrown up in the air like this, 9/10 times it's not on. 

Hope it's the exception mate. 

[ROBBIEFC]

1 hour ago, Devil-Dick Willie said:

I wouldn't be. 

In my experience if someone wants to date or sleep with you they're going to facilitate it. You might get some pushback for the sake of propriety, but it's never in doubt. Whenever things get thrown up in the air like this, 9/10 times it's not on. 

Hope it's the exception mate. 

Aye so do I. She's a funny girl though, not the typical case as I believe I've said before. Fingers crossed.

[ROBBIEFC]

To set my mind at ease, I'm going to leave it and see what happens. If anything does happen, I'll be sure to spill the tea. I know better than to base these things on experiences, it's all individual. My fingers remain crossed though.