Mental Health

[Mpache]

Just now, Dr. Gonzo said:

The world doesn’t stop turning just because someone’s offed themselves.

Then that's not awareness! I will never commit suicide myself cos I'm a coward, but these stories go viral all the time and people always talk about how more should be done, but those same people don't do anything about it. That's generalizing, but I know this as I go through this on an every day basis.

[Stan]

I think it differs in certain cultures and countries perhaps. 

Mental health and the stigma of it has changed for the positive in the UK at least. And Europe as well. I don't know what it's like in South America or Australia etc. People constantly talk about mental health here and yes you may get the bellends and trolls frequenting social media but that doesn't represent the whole population. There's so much more awareness about it now than there was even when I was at school just over 10 years ago. I don't even remembering learning about it too much and I definitely wouldn't have done had I not chosen Philosophy and Psychology as a couple of subjects. 

In Asian culture I think there's more of a taboo to talk about mental health and it's seen as too different or weakness (generalising, I know) but from my parents generation to my generation its definitely changed for the better. Purely down to awareness and talking about it in the open. It never used to be the case - you used to just have to suck it up alone and suffer but now there's active promotion to speak and talk, even anonymously. There are many more campaigns and wellbeing schemes or initiatives to get people help. I'd say that's a positive of social media's attitude towards mental health. 

[Cicero]

7 minutes ago, Inti Brian said:

The bolded part is true. I put more of an emphasis on it than I should in truth. It's not much different in real life though. It's a long story, but in short I get treated as a weak link and people don't seem to understand.

People who actually work in mental health are doing fine, but in terms of awareness, we still have a long way to go I'm afraid. I'm not going to pretend you don't suffer through depression (I'm sure right now you are having that issue due to your recent split) and I obviously don't know what goes on in your life, but I've had mental health problems for most of my life. Judging from what I read here, you're a lot mentally stronger than me though. 

I've been mentally weak most of my life and have had depression many times. Every other year really. I think I would know what is true and what isn't.

Eco is right in that there is medicines and resources for it, but in terms of awareness? Casuals not working in the industry don't understand. A few of my older friends who I'd tried to fix things with and not be their enemies just want nothing to do with me. That I'm "toxic" and whatnot. 

People don’t ‘ignore’ mental health. Again, this is a topic that has grown over the years and has now become the talking point in regards to Illness. Look at any forum for virtually anything and you’ll likely see a mental health thread. Social groups, awareness groups, hotlines, etc. Hell, more and more television/films are being produced that help recognise and treat mental health. So you can’t tell me no one cares. 

You know what all these things have in common? The individual who has mental health issues must take the first step themselves. Others can only guide and help them through it. It seems you are blaming others for not holding your hand. This is something you need to do. 

 

[Mpache]

1 minute ago, Stan said:

I think it differs in certain cultures and countries perhaps. 

Mental health and the stigma of it has changed for the positive in the UK at least. And Europe as well. I don't know what it's like in South America or Australia etc. People constantly talk about mental health here and yes you may get the bellends and trolls frequenting social media but that doesn't represent the whole population. There's so much more awareness about it now than there was even when I was at school just over 10 years ago. I don't even remembering learning about it too much and I definitely wouldn't have done had I not chosen Philosophy and Psychology as a couple of subjects. 

In Asian culture I think there's more of a taboo to talk about mental health and it's seen as too different or weakness (generalising, I know) but from my parents generation to my generation its definitely changed for the better. Purely down to awareness and talking about it in the open. It never used to be the case - you used to just have to suck it up alone and suffer but now there's active promotion to speak and talk, even anonymously. There are many more campaigns and wellbeing schemes or initiatives to get people help. I'd say that's a positive of social media's attitude towards mental health. 

I live in Canada, which is one of the most livable countries in the world. I get government allowance because my mental health and autism fucks me over in life. There's plenty of medicine and resources so there is plenty of ways it's being combated and been done well.

The problem though is casuals. People not working in the industry etc. In Canada people seem less understanding than in Peru, which I find amazing. Just because it's "better than 100 years ago" doesn't mean it's perfect yet. The resources are there, the right mentality in stronger people isn't.

This is basically the reason those allowances exist. Not my fault I was born with autism and constant mental health issues.

[Pyfish+]

9 minutes ago, Inti Brian said:

The bolded part is true. I put more of an emphasis on it than I should in truth. It's not much different in real life though. It's a long story, but in short I get treated as a weak link and people don't seem to understand.

People who actually work in mental health are doing fine, but in terms of awareness, we still have a long way to go I'm afraid. I'm not going to pretend you don't suffer through depression (I'm sure right now you are having that issue due to your recent split) and I obviously don't know what goes on in your life, but I've had mental health problems for most of my life. Judging from what I read here, you're a lot mentally stronger than me though. 

I've been mentally weak most of my life and have had depression many times. Every other year really. I think I would know what is true and what isn't.

Eco is right in that there is medicines and resources for it, but in terms of awareness? Casuals not working in the industry don't understand. A few of my older friends who I'd tried to fix things with and not be their enemies just want nothing to do with me. That I'm "toxic" and whatnot. 

Everyone has a different experience with it. Some 'casuals' do understand but just because you've not experienced them getting it, you generalise an entire population? 

[Mpache]

2 minutes ago, Cicero said:

People don’t ‘ignore’ mental health. Again, this is a topic that has grown over the years and has now become the talking point in regards to Illness. Look at any forum for virtually anything and you’ll likely see a mental health thread. Social groups, awareness groups, hotlines, etc. Hell, more and more television/films are being produced that help recognise and treat mental health. So you can’t tell me no one cares. 

You know what all these things have in common? The individual who has mental health issues must take the first step themselves. Others can only guide and help them through it. It seems you are blaming others for not holding your hand. This is something you need to do. 

  

I actually am taking strides in changing the way I am, but I can still overshoot things and that can fuck me up. Things are starting to get better for me, but that's only because I'm hiding my issues with mental health. I can't talk about it with friends nor even hint that I'm feeling uncomfortable.

Thank goodness for psychologists but they work in the industry so they HAVE to understand.

[Stan]

3 minutes ago, Inti Brian said:

I live in Canada, which is one of the most livable countries in the world. I get government allowance because my mental health and autism fucks me over in life. There's plenty of medicine and resources so there is plenty of ways it's being combated and been done well.

The problem though is casuals. People not working in the industry etc. In Canada people seem less understanding than in Peru, which I find amazing. Just because it's "better than 100 years ago" doesn't mean it's perfect yet. The resources are there, the right mentality in stronger people isn't.

This is basically the reason those allowances exist. Not my fault I was born with autism and constant mental health issues.

Who's talking about 100 years ago?! Why is that the comparison? Everything in the world was different back then

 

 

[Mpache]

2 minutes ago, Pyfish said:

Everyone has a different experience with it. Some 'casuals' do understand but just because you've not experienced them getting it, you generalise an entire population? 

Well for the record, I think it's telling that I qualify for government allowance programs. They know mental health is only hurting us. That is definitely a stride taken in combating the issue, but I also believe it exists because we don't have the ability to turn things around too easily. Casuals are generally too selfish.

Then you have people like Doug Ford who want to get rid of the program altogether. 

[Mpache]

1 minute ago, Stan said:

Who's talking about 100 years ago?! Why is that the comparison? Everything in the world was different back then

 

 

Eco and Nudge both mentioned that it was "better than 100 and even 20 years ago".

[Stan]

3 minutes ago, Inti Brian said:

Eco and Nudge both mentioned that it was "better than 100 and even 20 years ago".

Apologies, missed that. The point they make is correct though. There's been huge advances and investments around the world I imagine in combating mental health. 

[Mpache]

4 minutes ago, Stan said:

Apologies, missed that. The point they make is correct though. There's been huge advances and investments around the world I imagine in combating mental health. 

I never doubted that. Never said they were wrong. I did say though that just because it was worse 100 years ago doesn't mean we're still at a great stage.

Government officials and mental health programs have taken great strides for sure. Your every day citizen hasn't though.

[Mpache]

Now that we're on the topic, a little update for those who know I have mental health issues.

So the other day I went out with friends here. One of them I hadn't talked to in over a year. We weren't exactly on the best terms. Thankfully things went well, the doors seemed to have opened again for that person. That also opened doors for me and given me good faith. As Darth Vader once said "It is too late for me, son". That's what I thought a few weeks ago. Plagued by bad experiences and serious generalization but I think that might go away if I keep things moving in the right direction.

How will I do this? I've made lots of sacrifices in the last few months. I blocked the girl I liked so I wouldn't worry about my situation with her, I got rid of all those "fake" friends and am just spending time with my family. Though going out with friends in Peru has really helped out. Also assuming the virus doesn't postpone the season, the CanPL will also be a big help as I know and get along with most of the people who attend Generation IX.

Now for the bad. I am still feeling very regretful and worried about my future. If you don't know me, I am an awful student and always have been. So I am looking for ways to build up my career from scratch. I'm still worried though about what the future holds. I've had lots of jealousy towards some friends who gather information off of me and are hired by a website to do a preview on a match or something, but never actually give me a chance. That's the sort of thing that makes me so anxious. I never get given a chance and it is going through my head at the moment. I try not to think about it much but it proves to be a challenge as I'm 22 and isn't in a University or College.

I'm also regretful about the enemies I've made in the past. I should really just forget them as they aren't worth it but I'm tired of enemies in general.

[Eco]

2 hours ago, Inti Brian said:

Now that we're on the topic, a little update for those who know I have mental health issues.

Everyone on here knows. You remind us daily mate. 

[Azeem]

Men should not discuss their problems with most people unlike women who have large support groups, cause

- It makes them look weak in the eyes of other men

- The women around them in family or friends pretend that they care and maybe they do and encourage you to talk but after a while they get irritated if you can't ' man up ' and you become less attractive to them

Unless you have very close friend(s) better to do things you like to get your mind off things then expressing them to someone else

That's how i believe maybe it's different in other cultures to some extent but i feel it's generally applicable to all men  

[Eco]

I'll say this as well @Inti Brian

1. I think it's extremely important to be careful with the words that you use to describe things, particularly on the topic of mental health. You mentioned that you are sure I am depressed because of my currently divorce, and that is wrong. I'm not depressed mate, I'm sad as hell, and I get emotional when I think about leaving my daughter and trying not to consider myself a failure for not being able to make this marriage work, but I'm not depressed, just sad. There is a massive difference between the two. 

2. I would honestly think to yourself if you happen to invite advanced criticism because how often you do remind us about your autism and depression. Take for instance the numerous times you have 'lost it', and blamed your actions and reactions on your mental health. I'm not sure that doesn't play a part, but sometimes you, like everyone else, loses their head and becomes an asshole...it's normal. And it's okay to be an asshole sometimes as long as your are able to recognize it once you cool off, make up for any inappropriate things you may have said/did, and then work to avoid the trigger the next time around. With you, I feel like you just always revert back to your autism, as if it's an excuse for all of your actions, which I just don't think is the case. You're stronger than you think you are, but you need to work on understanding that you are a unique guy who has a lot to offer, and sure, you were handed a deck of cards that may be skewed a bit, but it could be a lot worse, so invite the challenge of change and adapting to regulate your mood, and I think you'll be shocked when you look back at how far you've come. 

[Eco]

6 minutes ago, Azeem said:

Men should not discuss their problems with most people unlike women who have large support groups, cause

 - It makes them look weak in the eyes of other men

- The women around them in family or friends pretend that they care and maybe they do and encourage you to talk but after a while they get irritated if you can't ' man up ' and you become less attractive to them

 Unless you have very close friend(s) better to do things you like to get your mind off things then expressing them to someone else

That's how i believe maybe it's different in other cultures to some extent but i feel it's generally applicable to all men  

I'll call a cultural difference here. Men have just as much right and ability to talk about it as women or any of the new genders running around nowadays. I know I find it more difficult to discuss serious emotions, but I believe it has more to do with my personality type (introvert), then having a wiener. 

[Mpache]

A few weeks ago I got into a fight with my cousin. It was for something ordinary. I was over at his house and he just decided to take the fan away from me when he had another downstairs (I didn't know that but he did). He just said "I get hot" just completely disregarding that I can also get hot. So he got mad at me, blocked me for a few days and then just told me "I'm always wrong" and attacked me for being an introvert.

It's ordinary and something stupid to fight over, but this sort of shit has been building up for a long time. Where they'd just pin the blame on me for something I'm not involved in or not treating me like I exist. Now a few days ago I tried to start talking to him again because he's my best friend and I struggle without him, but at the same time I was also reminded why I shouldn't talk to him.

He just treats me like that overly eccentric kid who has a lot of stupid ideas. I told him I wanted a dog and I wanted to go camping in the Yukon and he just said "for fucks sake" which really bothered me because he's very "elitist". I have to follow everything my parents says. And while that's the right mentality to follow, my problem with this is that I'm an adult firstly and can do what I want with my money, and secondly my parents don't have any problem with it but he just assumes they also think I'm crazy.

We both really want to be friends but we have huge disagreements on many things and neither of us are willing to change. I'm not willing to be pushed around because I deserve the same amount of respect as any human including him, and he doesn't want to change because even when he is pinned back against a wall, he will look for a loophole to not admit he is wrong. It's definitely childish to try and find the wrong and the right, but in this case it's tiring being the wrong one 100% of the time.

So I'm struggling a bit here. I'm not sure if I want to keep talking to him. He's the only friend I've had since day 1. I have a few friends I still talk too from Kindergarten but we stopped when I moved to Canada so with my cousin there's a little more history behind it. We used to play games online a lot and we got along great but turning into an adult made me see the broader picture of him and his family, and my dads side of the family seems to agree with me on them. Not because of what I've told them mind.

[Tommy]

17 minutes ago, Inti Brian said:

He just treats me like that overly eccentric kid who has a lot of stupid ideas.

[Lucas]

1 hour ago, Inti Brian said:

A few weeks ago I got into a fight with my cousin. It was for something ordinary. I was over at his house and he just decided to take the fan away from me when he had another downstairs (I didn't know that but he did). He just said "I get hot" just completely disregarding that I can also get hot. So he got mad at me, blocked me for a few days and then just told me "I'm always wrong" and attacked me for being an introvert.

It's ordinary and something stupid to fight over, but this sort of shit has been building up for a long time. Where they'd just pin the blame on me for something I'm not involved in or not treating me like I exist. Now a few days ago I tried to start talking to him again because he's my best friend and I struggle without him, but at the same time I was also reminded why I shouldn't talk to him.

He just treats me like that overly eccentric kid who has a lot of stupid ideas. I told him I wanted a dog and I wanted to go camping in the Yukon and he just said "for fucks sake" which really bothered me because he's very "elitist". I have to follow everything my parents says. And while that's the right mentality to follow, my problem with this is that I'm an adult firstly and can do what I want with my money, and secondly my parents don't have any problem with it but he just assumes they also think I'm crazy.

We both really want to be friends but we have huge disagreements on many things and neither of us are willing to change. I'm not willing to be pushed around because I deserve the same amount of respect as any human including him, and he doesn't want to change because even when he is pinned back against a wall, he will look for a loophole to not admit he is wrong. It's definitely childish to try and find the wrong and the right, but in this case it's tiring being the wrong one 100% of the time.

So I'm struggling a bit here. I'm not sure if I want to keep talking to him. He's the only friend I've had since day 1. I have a few friends I still talk too from Kindergarten but we stopped when I moved to Canada so with my cousin there's a little more history behind it. We used to play games online a lot and we got along great but turning into an adult made me see the broader picture of him and his family, and my dads side of the family seems to agree with me on them. Not because of what I've told them mind.

Don't worry about any of that.

If I was you, I'd choose what entrance music you'll run out to when you come out to whoop his childish, elitist, stubborn ass.

[Mpache]

Just now, Lucas said:

Don't worry about any of that.

If I was you, I'd choose what entrance music you'll run out to when you come out to whoop his childish, elitist, stubborn ass.

That response was like therapy 

Thanks!

[Berserker]

On 25/03/2020 at 17:16, Lucas said:

Don't worry about any of that.

If I was you, I'd choose what entrance music you'll run out to when you come out to whoop his childish, elitist, stubborn ass.

This will be mine when i make the entrance before i obtain the world heavyweight title

However this would be @Inti Brian's

 

[Mpache]

Some good news from my mental health.

I'm starting to get over my fear of flying.

[tlr]

Even though we have a few topics on it I think this is best asked on here - given I think all people on this forum are in countries with some state of lockdown, how are we all finding our mental health throughout this? Thankfully I came into this period of time in a pretty good state of mind generally - certainly better than it was for most of the previous year - and I think that being the case has helped me get through the first few weeks no end. I've been kept busy by work and a massive to do list, and I've managed to keep in touch quite well with friends and family etc, which I think have all really helped to maintain it.

[Danny]

15 minutes ago, tlr said:

Even though we have a few topics on it I think this is best asked on here - given I think all people on this forum are in countries with some state of lockdown, how are we all finding our mental health throughout this? Thankfully I came into this period of time in a pretty good state of mind generally - certainly better than it was for most of the previous year - and I think that being the case has helped me get through the first few weeks no end. I've been kept busy by work and a massive to do list, and I've managed to keep in touch quite well with friends and family etc, which I think have all really helped to maintain it.

Not too bad tbh, I think having a routine helps a lot. There’s only so much you can do but waking up early, not eating in bed and instead I’m the kitchen/living room, doing bits of housework and getting some garden time in breaks up the day a bit

The day is always shit if I wake up and spend half of it in bed because there’s nothing to do

[Stan]

Not gonna lie finding it a tad difficult, especially adjusting to constantly being at home. Found myself becoming really irritable and losing patience very quickly. Mainly to do with work and constantly being at home whereas I was used to 60-70% of my working week being out on site/my patch/visiting tenants or dropping in to the office.

I know I'll get over it but it's trying to tear myself away from the desk as we're still busy, but need to learn to take more breaks before I drive myself crazy.

Really finding it hard not seeing the missus either. Used to be every weekend without fail. We still video call but it's obviously nowhere near the same. Just hoping an extended lockdown period, if any after the 14th (I think it's expected, sadly ), is not too long. I don't want to put her or her family at risk though so it's a case of short term pain, long term gain. Very hard though